Break My Fall

by Chloe Walsh

“A lot more than you do by the sounds of it asshole,” he answered calmly. What in the hell was he talking about?

  “Do tell.” I was right in his face, my head bent down in his. I grabbed his shirt in my fist and I had to give it to him, Derek didn’t flinch.

  He was used to my bullshit moods by now. I had taken enough of them out on him over the years.

  “Kyle man, breathe.”

  I couldn’t. My chest was close to exploding. The thought of Lee upstairs with that rat bastard Mike made my blood boil. Yeah, that jackass and me had some bad blood. The thought of him in her room made me go for the stairs again.

  Derek dragged me back again. “Dude, I’m on your side,” he panted, as he tried to restrain me. “I know you hate him man, I hate him too, but now is not the time to air your dirty laundry, and you need to sober up.”

  I was bucking against him, trying to break free of his bear hug, but the fucker had me pinned and he knew it. People were definitely staring at us now.

  I stopped struggling and slumped, my voice cracked. “She’s up there with him Derek. She’s fucking up in her room with HIM.”

  Derek nudged me, pointing towards the staircase. I felt like all my prayers were answered.

  Mike was at the bottom of the staircase. Lee had sent him away. He smirked at Derek and me. I barged over to him.

  “You gotta problem big brother?” Mike asked, smirking. Rat bastard.

  “Keep walking asshole,” warned Derek, who had stepped in between the two of us. “Preferably into busy traffic.”

  Mike smirked. “Tell Lee, I said goodnight, she should sleep well after…”

  He turned to walk out and I lunged forward, but Derek pulled me back, “Kyle, he’s not worth it, come on man, he’s just trying to fuck with your head. Don’t let him win again.”

  Derek held me back long enough for Mike to close the front door behind him.

  “That mother fucker better not step one foot inside my house again,” I warned. “I mean it Derek, he comes in here again and I’ll finish what started two years ago.”

  Lee

  “Are you sure you’re gonna be okay here Lee? My offer still stands,” Mike said as he leaned against my bed. At first, I thought it was sweet that he walked me to my room, but now I was beginning to get creeped out. I did not want company, not tonight and Mike was lingering.

  “I’ll be fine Mike,” I said opening my door. I was dropping major hints. “But thank you so much, you’re too good to me.”

  Mike’s smile faltered for a second, then slipped back into place. He walked over to where I stood by the door. “I want to be more than good to you Lee; I like you, a lot.” He leaned down and kissed my cheek. I froze. “I just want you to know you have other options, there’s better out there than Kyle Carter.”

  He left and I swear I could not move my feet even if I wanted to.

  What in god’s name had just happened?

  Chapter Twenty-four

  Lee

  I slept badly last night. I had been worried Kyle would come to my room. I need not have bothered; he never came. For some strange reason, I was upset about that fact. I was better off though, Kyle was wasted last night and usually when there was alcohol involved our discussions went one of two ways. Either we broke out in a massive argument, or we ended up ripping each other’s clothes off. I couldn’t stand the thought of feeling used again, so I guess it was better this way.

  I was up, showered and dressed by eight thirty, which was pointless because I was off work for the weekend, two whole days to myself. I didn’t know what to do with myself. I heard his bedroom door creak open on my way down the stairs.

  “Lee, wait up.”

  I thought about running, but there was really no place I could go. I was going to have to suck it up and face him. “What do you want Kyle?”

  I looked back at him. He was closing his bedroom door.

  “I thought we could do something today?”

  I frowned at him, as he tied the buttons on his red and black plaid shirt. I tried not to stare at his bare stomach, or the line of dark hair near his bellybutton, disappearing under the low-slung jeans he had on. It was harder to ignore now that I knew where that treasure trail of hair led…

  “You haven’t spoken to me in a month Kyle. Why do want to do something together now?” I asked when he reached the step above me.

  His eyes were bleary and had dark circles under them. I guess that’s what he got for getting so trashed last night.

  “You have the day off work, I have the day off. Why not?”

  That was the most disappointing reason that could have come out of his mouth. I shook my head and walked down the rest of the stairs. I needed to get out of here; go for a walk and clear my head. I’d planned on apartment hunting today, but honestly I didn’t have enough to rent a room let alone a whole apartment.

  “No, wait, wait,” Kyle rushed after me, yanking me back from the front door. “That was stupid; I didn’t mean it like that.”

  I exhaled loudly. I was getting tired of his games. “What did you mean Kyle?”

  “I just want to talk to you Lee. I want to spend some time with you, where it’s just you and me. Can you give me a chance to fix this?” His blue eyes sliced through me and my resolve wavered.

  “What did you want to do?” I asked quietly. My brain was screaming at me not to do this, but my stupid heart was compelling me to hear him out.

  He smiled down at me and opened the door. “I’ll do whatever you want me to do.”

  I dragged my gaze away from him. “I’ll let you decide,” I whispered, grabbing my coat from the back of the door.

  Kyle

  She was in my truck. This was good. It meant I had time to explain things, but so far, the only words that had come out of my mouth were; ‘you’re welcome,’ when she thanked me for helping her with her seatbelt.

  I tried to focus on the road, but my eyes kept drifting over to the passenger seat. Goddammit she looked adorable, wrapped up in her khaki coat. She had the hood pulled up and the furry bit framed her face. She looked like an Eskimo. The sexiest fucking Eskimo I’d ever seen.

  “You cold?” I asked, trying to break the ice.

  She turned to face me; her nose was red. “Yeah, I guess I’m not used to the Colorado weather,” she replied, giving me a tight smile.

  “This is mild Lee. Wait until the snow comes.” She shuddered and I couldn’t help chuckle. She looked so damn cute. “So have you any plans for Halloween next week? Trick or treating?” What a stupid fucking thing to ask.

  God I was a douche.

  My plan was to keep her talking long enough that she would feel comfortable and open up to me again. I needed to know what Cam had meant. It wasn’t curiosity anymore, it was a compulsion. I had to know.

  “I’m not a big fan of Halloween,” she replied quietly. “I’ve never been trick or treating.”

  I looked at her again, she was frowning. “What? Never?”

  Lee shook her head. “No, have you?”

  Even I, the kid who’d be passed from pillar to post had been trick or treating as a kid, albeit my costume had usually consisted of a black bin liner over my shoulders and a dollar store mask. Still, I had done it every year until I grew out of it. Kids loved trick or treating.

  “Yeah I went as a kid. Why didn’t you Lee?”

  She shuffled around in her seat, fidgeting with her hands. “I was never allowed,” she said softly. She looked so sad, I wanted to reach out and hold her hand, but I was too scared that she’d reject me.

  “Why?” I couldn’t help myself. I wanted to know more. I wanted to know everything about her.

  Her lips tightened. “You would have to ask my father,” she said. “He was very…controlling.”

  What the fuck kind of father didn’t let his kid go trick or treating. It made me wonder.

  “Did you like school when you were growing up?” I asked as we passed the college campus.

  “I enjoyed the l
earning side of it.” She was being implicit.

  “What about the rest of it?” I asked. “You know, like going to field parties with your friends. School dances, homecoming, dating?” I was prying. I knew I was, but I had this itch inside of me to know her inside out.

  “I didn’t have any friends and I wasn’t allowed to date. My first party was when I first moved here, the night you…” Her voice trailed off and I cleared my throat.

  She was referring to the night I’d kissed her in my kitchen; the night that had ignited this fucking obsession with her. I rubbed my hand over my chest. It hurt when she said she didn’t have friends growing up. I felt a raw protectiveness towards her that I’d never felt for anyone in my life. I wanted to tuck Lee under my arm and shield her from the shit reality of life.

  “So you weren’t allowed to date, but did you ever sneak out?” I asked. “It’s hard to believe that a beautiful girl like you never went on a date.” Now I was nosy.

  I peeked over at her and frowned. She was gone deathly pale; her whole body tensed.

  “What did Cam tell you?” she whispered. She looked…devastated.

  “She told me enough, I’d rather hear it from you,” I lied. I hadn’t a fucking clue what she was talking about, but from Lee’s reaction, I was on to something.

  “It was a mistake. I shouldn’t have gone. It truly was my own fault.” She pressed her fingers against her temples.

  “I don’t think it was,” I said, hoping I was on the same page as her.

  “Kyle, if I hadn’t gone, none of what happened afterwards would have happened. I’d have my diploma and be in college by now.” She looked angry with herself. What the fuck had she done? Where had she gone that stopped her from graduating highschool?

  I raked my brain for the most ambiguous response I could muster. “What do you think would have changed if you didn’t go?” I was kind of proud of myself for that one.

  “You mean apart from the fact that I wouldn’t be a highschool dropout?” She was angry. I needed to thread carefully.

  “Yeah, apart from that?”

  Lee sighed and I could hear the quiver in her voice. This was upsetting her. “I wouldn’t be here for one,” she said and I flinched. Ouch, that stung like a bitch. “I’d still have nightmares, but I’d only have one monster to run from,” she whispered.

  I knew about the nightmares. They were fucking scary.

  One monster? How many monsters did she have?

  “And I wouldn’t be terrified and fearful that every time a man came too close, he was going to try and rape me.”

  I couldn’t see straight. I couldn’t fucking breathe. My mind couldn’t focus on anything other than that one word; Rape. Someone had tried to rape her?

  Lee….My Lee.

  Mother Fucker…

  Lee

  I hated Cam for telling him. I hated Kyle for making me tell him again. Cam I would forgive, but not Kyle. Not now, that he was ignoring me again. He’d asked me and I told him. It wasn’t the worst secret I had, but it was a close second.

  “You can let me off anywhere here,” I told him. We were driving down a street I was familiar with. I could find my way back to the house on foot.

  He didn’t respond, or slow the truck down. “Kyle, I said let me out,” I snapped.

  I was done. I was so done with all the bullshit. I should have never gotten into his truck. I was a glutton for punishment.

  I looked over at him. He had his hands wrapped around the wheel so tight; I thought the skin around his knuckles might crack. His jaw ticked, he swallowed hard. “Just give me a minute,” he said between clenched teeth.

  “No. Let me out now.”

  He rolled his neck and inhaled deeply through his nose. What was wrong with him? “Lee, baby I’m having a hard time trying to stay calm right now, a real fucking hard time. If you get out of this truck, I’m gonna lose it.”

  My mouth dropped open. Awareness smacked me straight in the chest.

  “Cam didn’t tell you anything did she? You tricked me.”

  His eyes flashed to mine and I could see the guilt in them. I could also see crazed fury. There was no point in asking him to let me out; I knew he’d have more questions.

  “Who was he?”

  I debated telling Kyle to go screw himself, but I couldn’t. “Why should I tell you anything about my life?” I argued. “It’s not like you trust me to confide in.”

  He grinded his teeth. “Just answer me Lee and I’ll answer anything you want.”

  I contemplated his gruff words. I could tell he was trying to control his temper.

  “Perry Franklin.” I said shakily.

  He nodded excessively. I could tell he was filing the name away in his head somewhere.

  “When?” he asked, his voice laced with anger.

  I look up in confusion, “When?”

  Kyle slammed his palm on the steering wheel. “Yes when Lee. When did this happen? When did this guy attack you? And when the fuck, were you going to tell me?”

  He didn’t give me a chance to answer, before the truck swerved to a stop and he was pulling me into his arms, telling me everything would be all right. I knew it wouldn’t, but the story from that night spilled from my lips.

  I found myself telling Kyle everything about that night. I opened my soul and let all the pain and suffering I felt from that night weep out. I found myself revealing much more to Kyle than I had to Cam. How I was tricked by Perry to go to prom with him. How I had found out he had asked me as a dare from his other teammates. How it felt when his rough hands groped me and how I had wanted to die. I wasn’t sure why I told Kyle, but it felt like he could heal me.

  In that moment, it felt like Kyle Carter could break my fall. He could give me back that piece of me Perry had broken. I didn’t tell him about my father though. Not even Kyle could fix that piece of me.

  I let him hold me. I let him kiss my hair and rub my back. I let myself cry in his arms and be comforted by his words. I felt like a weight had lifted. Kyle was here and he believed me. Kyle might not love me or want me the way I did him, but he did care. He cared and I was safe.

  I imagined this would have been how it would have felt, if someone had believed me at the time.

  Chapter Twenty-five

  Kyle

  She was pulling away again. I could feel her withdrawing. We were sitting beside each other on the back step of the house, drinking coffee and Lee hadn’t said a word in the twenty minutes we’d been back.

  I knew she was overthinking things. I wanted to make her feel better. I wanted her to know that I didn’t judge her, or blame her for that asshole.

  I raked my brain for something, anything that would bring her back to me. “I grew up in foster care.”

  Well, that wasn’t something I’d ever anticipated coming out of my mouth, but there it was.

  Lee’s eyes widened as she turned to face me. “But, you’re rich?”

  I laughed at her innocent accusation. “I wasn’t always.”

  She didn’t say anything, which both comforted and confused me. Was she afraid to ask? Did she not care?

  “What are you thinking?” I asked her. I needed to know.

  She sighed. “Honestly?” I nodded. “I want to ask you a million and one questions, but I’m not sure if you want me to.”

  I smiled at her answer. “Why don’t you ask me one at a time and we’ll see how it goes?”

  She turned her body towards me, cradling her cup between her fragile hands. “How did you go from being in foster care to owning a string of hotels?”

  “It’s a long story,” I said, pondering the best way to tackle it. “My mother was sixteen when she had me. I didn’t know my father; I don’t think she did either.”

  I watched her face for her reaction; she didn’t look horrified or disgusted. She looked at me with accepting eyes. “I don’t remember her clearly,” I continued. “Just that she was blonde and beautiful. She died from a drug overdose when I was t
hree. She had no family and my father was a John Doe so I was turned over to the state.”

  Lee rested her hand rest on mine and the words flew out of me in a rush. “Don’t ask me how, but, when I was twelve my father’s father found out I existed and he filed for custody of me. He was granted custody of me and I moved to Boulder to live with him. He died almost two years ago and left me everything.” Grandpa and Linda had found me at a time, when I was starting to lose hope, beginning to get into trouble. They had saved me.

  Lee blew out a breath. I kept my eyes on her face, gaging her reaction.

  I couldn’t believe I’d told her. I hated talking about my past. It was humiliating. It was fucking upsetting and I didn’t want anyone’s pity.

  Lee squeezed me hand. “Do you miss him?”

  I didn’t expect that question. I’d never been asked that before. “Frank was a hard man, not the soft fuzzy type of grandfather, but he saved me from a life of being passed around like a fucking parcel. I’m more grateful than anything.”

  Lee shifted closer to me and I wrapped my arm around her. She nuzzled into my side, “Do you see him now?”

  I knew who she meant and stiffened. She noticed and snuggled closer into my side, nuzzling my arm with her cheek, until my body slowly relaxed.

  “He has his own wife and family. I see him occasionally, but I don’t acknowledge him as anything other than the man who donated his sperm.”

  Lee stretched up and kissed my cheek. I frowned at her. “What was that for?”

  She smiled softly. “For being Kyle Carter. For enduring what you have and becoming the best man I know.”

  I couldn’t answer her. I squeezed my eyes shut to stop the tears that threatened to fall. She’d know how much her words meant to me if she looked into my eyes. Fuck, she was making me feel things; I was losing control.

  Lee