An Empty Cup

by Sarah Price

  “There she is!” Nan greeted Cate as if they were the best of friends, but her piercing voice caught them both off guard. Then, to Rosanna’s surprise, Nan came around the counter and knelt before Cate, as if she were a child of two and not twelve. “I heard I was to have a little helper today!”

  Rosanna thought she saw her daughter wince.

  “We just met your bruder,” Rosanna said, attempting to change the subject in the hopes that Cate could escape to find Reuben.

  It worked. Standing up, Nan glanced toward the door. “He was home, then?” She seemed disappointed, perhaps because he hadn’t stopped to visit with her. “I know they were going to a new job site this afternoon. He must have brought the horse home and gone with the driver.”

  Cate slipped behind Rosanna and gently nudged her leg. Taking her cue, Rosanna glanced around the shop. Better to get right to the point, she thought. No need to dillydally with false niceties. “Is Reuben here, then?”

  Nan gestured toward the back room. “Working with Daniel on a collar.”

  Not certain whether or not she should interrupt him, Rosanna hesitated. “Vell, I brought him some dinner,” she said, holding up a red-and-white cooler. “Might you see that he gets it?”

  With a broad smile, Nan nodded. “Of course!” She reached for Cate’s shoulder and began to guide her toward the counter. “Let’s get started. I can teach you everything you need to do while I’m helping in the back . . .”

  As they walked, Cate cast a forlorn look over her shoulder at Rosanna. It tugged at Rosanna’s heart but also made her want to smile. Even bad experiences helped a person grow, Rosanna told herself as she set the cooler on the counter and walked to the door.

  Thirty minutes later, the horse unharnessed and hosed down, Rosanna was out in the field, working under the warm June sun. The weather had been favorable during the spring, but June had roared in with cold nights and hot days. She hoped that wasn’t a foreshadowing of the summer. Without air-conditioning or fans, the house retained heat, resulting in sleepless nights on the second floor.

  Rosanna wore protective glasses as she weed wacked, and they made her face sweat. She did her best to ignore the beads of perspiration that rolled down her cheeks as she walked along the fence line, cutting the weeds that had grown against it. The gentle humming of the weed whacker drowned out any other noise and gave Rosanna time to escape into her head where no one was asking anything of her.

  The dirt felt dry on her bare feet, especially when she cut along the back of the garden. While she trimmed, she quickly assessed the rows of vegetables planted in the straight furrows she had plowed well over two months ago. Everything was growing nicely; the tomatoes were nearly in need of staking, and the zucchini plants were spreading their vines with a hint of yellow flower buds beginning to show. The two rows of beets were also growing well. Rosanna could almost taste the sweetness of pickled beets come late August.

  Out of the corner of her eye, she noticed movement near the fence. And then she smelled it: the bitter, woodsy scent of burning tobacco. She took a deep breath and quickly counted to ten before turning to greet her neighbor. “Hello, Gloria,” she managed to say with a smile on her lips. She hoped that she sounded friendly as she remembered Jesus’s Golden Rule: love thy neighbor. “Beautiful day, ja?”

  Gloria dragged on her cigarette, purposefully blowing the smoke in Rosanna’s direction. “Your dogs got loose on my property again.”

  Resisting the urge to cough, Rosanna took a step backward. “I’ll have Aaron check the fencing again,” she offered. “A groundhog must be digging under at night.”

  Gloria had short, curly hair that was too dark to be natural and dark, piercing eyes. She stared at Rosanna, clearly not in agreement with that theory. “Groundhog? I don’t think so!” she snapped. The wrinkles over her upper lip deepened as she inhaled the smoke from her cigarette again. “Camille’s goin’ to call the cops on those dogs. You best make certain you fix that fence!” She turned and marched back toward her ranch house, leaving Rosanna to stare after her.

  “Have a good day, too,” she whispered under her breath.

  Her interactions with the Smith family always left Rosanna feeling a lot of gratitude for having been born Amish. If growing up Englische made people so miserable, then she found extra comfort in her plain and simple lifestyle. While she interacted with the Englische on an infrequent basis, she had never met any Amish person who so lacked civility and seemed so miserable. Even old man Weaver, who barely mumbled hello to anyone after worship service, was more pleasant than the Smith family.

  The sound of a buggy in the driveway interrupted her thoughts, and she turned toward the house, wondering who had arrived. Squinting in the sun, she thought she made out the shape of a young man and knew that it must be Daniel sent from the store by Reuben to help Aaron. She retrieved the weed whacker and her hoe before heading back to the house. By the time she stepped onto the driveway, the hot black macadam burning the soles of her feet, Daniel was already there.

  “Danke for coming,” she said as she extended her hand to properly welcome him. Rosanna hadn’t interacted much with him, but Reuben often spoke of him with praise for his work ethic and common sense.

  The young man smiled crookedly; it gave him a warm and friendly appearance. His straw hat, battered from years of use, was as crooked as his smile as it sat cockeyed atop his curly blond hair. “Glad to help!”

  Rosanna set the weed whacker on the ground by her feet. She still needed to trim the grass along the driveway and then use the hand mower on the patches of grass around the house. Despite having asked Cate to do that earlier in the day, Rosanna knew her daughter had been too excited to concentrate on any of her chores.

  “How are things down at the shop?” she asked.

  “Just fine. Cate’s working the front desk while Reuben shows Nan how to use some of the equipment,” Daniel replied. “She’s a fast learner.”

  “Cate?” she asked, unable to hide her joy and almost beaming with pride at his compliment.

  “Nee, I meant Nan.”

  Of course, she thought, hiding her disappointment. It wasn’t his fault, she told herself. After all, he barely knew her daughter. Forcing a smile, Rosanna nodded her head. She knew that it was good for Reuben to have a strong person helping him in the office. It made sense that he train Nan on all of the different aspects of the business. However, Rosanna knew that, deep down, there was something not right with his choice of a possible successor. Besides, she thought, given Cate’s affection for the shop, she might even be interested in taking it over herself one day.

  For the rest of the afternoon Aaron and Daniel worked in the fields while Rosanna focused on the yard. From time to time, she paused and looked in the direction of the mule-pulled hay baler. Most of the time they were too far away, and she could barely make out the faces of the two men. But when she did, she could tell that they were working hard.

  It was good that Reuben had sent Daniel to help. Aaron needed more male role models in his life, especially when it came to farming. Reuben had not grown up on a farm and knew little about crops and fertilizing. His family did not even own cows, although his maternal grandparents did live on a farm. The fact that he sometimes helped Aaron with the morning milking and feeding was just short of miraculous. Rosanna was thankful that Reuben had been willing to learn. The act of teaching his stepfather to handle the animals had done wonders for Aaron’s self-esteem.

  Now, if she could only help Cate find that same level of confidence.

  CHAPTER SIX

  He’s got nowhere to go, Rosanna,” Reuben said.

  The sink water ran in a steady stream from the faucet, the noise muffling his voice just enough so that she couldn’t read his emotions. With his back to her, he went through the motions of scrubbing the day’s dirt from his hands. When he turned off the water, shaking his wet hands over the sink, she handed him a dish towel. The clock chimed five times: suppertime. The table was set and
the food ready to be served; all they needed was bodies seated on the bench and chairs. But other than Rosanna and Reuben, the kitchen was empty.

  It wasn’t like Reuben to bring someone home for supper. He’d never done that before. So Rosanna had been more than surprised when Reuben walked into the house with Daniel in tow. While she didn’t begrudge Daniel a seat at the supper table, she found herself caught off guard at Reuben’s request that the young man stay overnight. As Reuben continued talking, Rosanna realized that overnight might extend to weeks or even months.

  “What happened to his home?” She kept her voice low, just in case their voices carried through the open window. She could see Aaron and Daniel leaning on the fence by the barn. They were talking and watching Cate throw a stick for one of the dogs.

  Since last week’s invitation to help at the harness shop, Cate had become an elusive figure at the farm. She tended to spend most of her time with Reuben. If she was at home, she was begging Reuben to let her work there the following day. While it pleased Rosanna that her daughter demonstrated such a good work ethic, she was becoming increasingly tired of doing both her chores and Cate’s. Her back hurt and her feet were swollen from standing all day with nary a break. If Cate thought she was going to work at the shop all summer, Rosanna knew she had to correct that—even if it meant disappointing her daughter.

  And now there was the Daniel situation. Granted, he was friendly enough. Just last Saturday afternoon, Daniel had returned to help with the barn work. Aaron had seemed right pleased, and the two certainly got along well. But for him to move into their home?

  “He’s willing to help Aaron with the morning and evening chores,” Reuben said. “That frees me up to leave earlier in the morning and stay later when needed.”

  “That’s all well and good—” Rosanna started.

  He interrupted her. “And he can help Aaron break that horse.”

  She pursed her lips. The horse was fine, having clearly been used on a buggy before Reuben had purchased him. His ground manners and familiarity with the harness had been established a week after he arrived. “Something else is going on here,” she said. She had a sinking feeling in her stomach.

  “He doesn’t have any family here,” Reuben finally admitted. “I just want to help him out. He’s a gut young man, Rosanna.”

  The sorrow in Reuben’s voice was obvious, and Rosanna regretted her hesitation. She could tell that Daniel’s situation reminded Reuben of his own lost family. With both of his parents deceased and only one sibling still alive but living in Ohio, Reuben was truly alone.

  “No family?” Rosanna asked.

  Reuben refused to meet Rosanna’s gaze. “No immediate family anyway.”

  Respecting the emotion she read in his face, Rosanna softened her tone. She changed the subject, knowing that there was a reason for whatever Reuben was leaving unsaid. “Where has he been living, then?”

  Dropping the dish towel on the counter, Reuben shrugged. He didn’t seem to notice that she quickly picked up the towel and folded it neatly. “With cousins. But it’s far from the shop, and his horse is lame.”

  “What about the house at the shop?” asked Rosanna.

  Reuben frowned at the question, his irritation more than evident even before he spoke. “Rosanna . . .”

  She knew what he was going to say. It would not be proper for an unmarried man to live with an unmarried woman, even if they were coworkers and even with Nan’s brother residing there. Clearly, living on the shop property was not an option. Ashamed that she had even suggested it, she turned her back to him and tried to swallow her embarrassment.

  It was not that she begrudged Daniel a roof over his head. No, that wasn’t it at all. But she had just started to get used to having a family—a real family. Selfishly, she enjoyed the soft conversation at the breakfast table as everyone began to wake up and discuss what they would be doing that day. She enjoyed the quiet evenings after supper, watching Cate play with the dogs and Aaron work with his new horse. There was always something going on, but they were the activities of her own family and did not include a complete stranger.

  Glancing out the window again, she saw Aaron toss back his head, his brown curls looking windblown. There was an expression of delight on his face as he laughed at something Daniel had said. It was more than apparent that the two of them got along well enough. For that fact alone she had to admit that it was nice to have Daniel around; it was gratifying to finally see Aaron connecting with another young man. For the past three years he had worked so hard on the farm to help her keep things under control and money flowing that he hadn’t experienced much of his youth. It would be good for him to have a companion, as well as someone to lighten his load of work.

  “Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ,” she whispered, more to herself than to Reuben. Then she turned away from the window and back to Reuben. “You know I’d never say no.” Rosanna sighed and tried to smile as she glanced toward the stairwell. “And there is that spare bedroom upstairs anyway.”

  For the other children I never had, she wanted to add, but didn’t.

  While the house was not large, there were three bedrooms upstairs and one larger bedroom downstairs, a typical setup for an Amish home. With children sharing bedrooms, she could have had plenty more kinner. But after Cate came along and Timothy sank into that dark abyss, God intervened and decided for Rosanna that two was enough. So the spare room had remained unoccupied for all of these years, and both of her children had their own rooms.

  Of course, if Daniel was to stay with them for a while, she’d have to get that unoccupied bedroom on the second floor ready. It would need to be dusted and swept, and she’d also have to put fresh linens on the mattress before Daniel could retire there that evening. More work, she thought. “I’ll freshen it up with clean linens after the supper dishes are washed, then.”

  Unaware of her inner thoughts, Reuben was clearly pleased by her answer. He smiled, his expression relaxing as she relented to his request to accommodate Daniel. “It won’t be for long, I’m sure,” he said, reaching out to cover her hand with his. “You have a big heart, Rosanna Troyer.”

  The compliment brought color to her cheeks, but this time due to modesty, not shame. She lowered her eyes. “No more so than any other woman, I’m sure,” she demurred politely.

  Prior to marrying Reuben, Rosanna hadn’t heard many compliments. Even in her youth, good grades and hard work were expected, not celebrated. During her marriage with Timothy, complaints were the norm, whether they were about her cooking or cleaning, or her appearance or demeanor. She had been criticized to the point that she had grown immune to the pain, having learned to tune it out.

  She appreciated this compliment from Reuben—especially when it implied that she could have made a different decision; that she could have determined whether or not to allow Daniel to stay in that room. She took Reuben’s accolade as confirmation that she had a say in this matter and that he did not want to subject her to his whim. It made her feel like a partner of sorts, and it was important to Rosanna that Reuben considered her not just his wife but his partner. This was not common within the Amish community. Large decisions were normally left to the husband.

  Rosanna mused that perhaps this was due to the fact that both she and her husband had been through prior marriages, which had led him to become more permissive. Although he was older, Reuben was amazingly open-minded. “If women can work in the fields or in my store,” he sometimes declared, “then, in my book, they are entitled to making their own decisions. Men do not always need to make them for them.”

  Ten minutes later, the five of them sat around the table and bowed their heads in silent prayer. The newcomer, with his blond hair and hazel eyes, seemed out of place among Rosanna’s dark-haired family, but his manners were impeccable, and she couldn’t complain about his appetite. An entire loaf of fresh wheat bread baked just that morning disappeared along with the cold cuts, a cup of cheese, an
d a bowl of chowchow. Working at the shop certainly gave young Daniel a hearty appetite.

  When the serving plates were empty, Rosanna jumped up to refill them. Reuben and Daniel talked about the shop, and Cate seemed to listen with her full attention. It was unusual for Cate to be so interested in something, so Rosanna let her sit instead of asking her to help serve the meal.

  When she finally had a chance to sit down, she reached for the bowl of chowchow to scoop some onto her plate. As she did so, there was a break in the conversation among the men, so she took advantage of it. “Reuben said you’d be needing a place to sleep for a spell,” she said, curious to see Daniel’s reaction.

  But there was none. He did not seem surprised at her words, and Rosanna realized that, despite Reuben asking her for her permission to house the young man, he’d likely already told Daniel that he could stay. Although she’d agreed to the arrangement, it bothered her, and she felt her pulse quicken in irritation.

  Daniel didn’t notice. He wiped his mouth with the back of his hand and nodded. “That’s right. My cousins let me stay with them, but my horse is lame and needs to be off work for a few weeks. Too far to walk to work at the shop.”

  His and Reuben’s stories matched, not that Rosanna expected them to conflict. She just wasn’t used to being expected to house other people in her home, especially for an extended period of time and without some sort of warning. Still, Daniel was a nice-looking young man, she thought, and his eyes reflected an emptiness that, despite her displeasure at being taken for granted, tugged at her heartstrings.

  When the supper-meal was complete and the after-prayer said, Aaron and Daniel disappeared outside, and Reuben retreated to his recliner by the windows in the sitting room. He liked to relax after eating by reading the Bible or the Budget newspaper. Cate helped to clear the plates from the table while Rosanna turned on the hot water, waiting for it to steam before she began washing the dishes. Out of the corner of her eye, she noticed Cate slink toward the door.