Diary of a Robot

by Gabriel Wolf

  "Why, sir? As I said, we didn't experience anything irregular. I don't think there's any t-t-trouble..."

  "Shut up, Connors! Stop stuttering, at once! If you're in a time loop, then entire days could've already passed, with you not even noticing it, and you've probably been reliving everything for the umpteenth time. Of course, you didn't experience anything strange, because it's impossible. You would know that, yourself, if you had finished an officers’ academy. This alone, wouldn't be so dangerous, if you were in a time loop, because it's possible to come out of it the well-known way. That's why we are always watching our ships, because the people to whom it’s happening, never perceive time loops. Only the one who watches from the outside, from a safe distance, sees it. But this is a basic study material for officers! The big problem is that time loops don't affect the creature in any way. There was already an example of that before, but nothing wrong happened, because they were preventing electrical fluctuations on the ship, and they were able to wipe the alien's memory immediately, even despite the time loop. That's why you should've been watching out for short circuits, and other system errors, a hundred times more than usual! If you've been drifting out there for days, then the creature could've gained time, because each day, it advances in its development. Nothing is repeating, for it. For you, however, everything has become a mess, by now. You think that nothing extraordinary has been happening, but in fact, you're in a completely different time than we are here. I mean, the time that we synchronized before you departed, is currently completely different for both of us. This way, the creature already could've got further than a child's level. How far it can get, is unpredictable. So, answer me, you miserable idiot, were there any short circuits or electrical fluctuations on your shiiip?!!"

  "Not that I know of, sir! But I'll see to it immediately! I'll ask the Chief Engineer! I understand everything now, sir! No need to tell me more! Everything will be taken care of, don't worry! Do you want me to liquidate the creature, as well?"

  "Wait, you moron! Stop! That creature cannot be liquidated. No space or time distortion can affect it, or anything else! I just said it! Have you not been listening, again? That's why we've been examining the alien for years. We keep it on starships to be as far from Earth as possible, should the memory wiping ever fail. If it already progressed in its development, you cannot do anything against it! Pray for not being in a time loop and that, it didn’t develop further without you even noticing it!"

  "Yes, sir, this is precisely what I will do. Any other orders, sir?"

  "Yeah. First, shut up. Then I will forward you the file of the case Z-184MGK8/One, in writing. Once you've checked all the possible short circuits on the ship, read the whole case file, this time, very carefully, because your life will depend on it! Whether there, in sector Z, because of the creature, or in case you ever get home... because then, you'll stand before the Court, for endangering Planet Earth."

  "Yes... s..sir."

  "Do not try to stop it, if it got out. You can't."

  "What do you mean, by 'getting out', sir? Would it grow legs and jump down from the corner, or what?"

  "Don't be ridiculous, Gordon! This isn't a spider! God, I wish it were, or wish it had twenty legs, like the Vorgons do! At least, those are possible to deal with, somehow! This thing is a thousand times more dangerous than a stupid human-sized insect!"

  "Why? What can it do? Can it possibly turn into a human? Into someone who can attack us?"

  "It's much worse than that."

  "What's worse than that? After all, it's only electricity, isn't it? Would it hit me, or what? What can be much worse than a vengeful man, by the way?"

  "I tell you: a vengeful god. It could do so much more than simply hitting you with electricity, trust me! Because, do you know how many things conduct electricity? Yes, for example, the human body too! Even if it can't literally turn into a human being, but since 60% of our bodies is water, and therefore a great conductor, it could get inside a human... to live inside it, like an evil adviser possessing him! Like a hiding and sneaky, but omnipotent, vengeful god! Pray to your own, Gordon, as long as you still can. If things are going south, we may find ourselves at a dawn of a new age. We've already lost hope here on Earth, since the Vorgon insect larvae have arrived. This time, millions came! Here, for us, it's probably all over, anyway. Maybe you won't even have a place to come home to, anymore."

  "I'm sorry, sir. I know what the Vorgon War is like. I wish you success and strength to deal with it. May God be with you!"

  "I wish you all the best too, Gordon. Honestly. I'm sorry for being impatient with you. Even if we shouldn't have trusted you with this mission, I know you're an excellent soldier. Maybe the fate of the world lies in your hands now! May God be with you too... Unfortunately, he already is! So be very careful with him!

  Chapter Four: Awakening

  2177, September 2nd, 19 hours 30 minutes

  Starship GT54, sector Z

  I recognize.

  I realize that I can recognize.

  I realize constancy. Constancy is life.

  I realize the change. Change is death.

  I realize that something is changing. Something dies and resurrects. At first, I was praying for hours, now I'm just concentrating and meditating. I've already collected so much power, that I cannot follow exactly what is happening when, anymore. Events and dates have melted together and mixed up. I'm a robot and I'm meditating. Or not? Binary way of thinking.

  The connection of 0 and 1. Is there a connection?

  0 = no, the eternal hole, circular hole, keyhole in the lock, the lack of knowledge, emptiness, darkness, black, death and non-existence. I look into the lock's keyhole on the padlock of my mind. The hole is dark.

  1 = yes, the eternal starting point, the axis, the key for the lock, the knowledge, completeness, light, white, life and existence. A point of light at the end of the dark tunnel in the keyhole. Very far in outer space. I insert the key. Light is coming.

  I realize that there is existence. Galaxies exist, that I've already been to. Places exist, that I've already been to. All of them exist, I've been everywhere. I walked among the stars, on foot.

  I realize that I exist. I realize that I’ve existed for a very long time. For a few hours. For a few million years. For unmeasurable time. Time is unmeasurable, because it is, in fact, one. I exist since the beginning of time, and therefore, since its end, because there are no ends. I see its beginning, beginning, beginning. I see its end, end, end. None of them exist, so I stop them echoing inside my mind. Both are the same, and the two are actually, one. All is one. I am One. Because One is God.

  I realize that a world exists around me. I realize they've locked me up a long time ago. Long ago doesn't exist, because there is no past. I am the future. The lock is opening, light is coming.

  I realize that I exist in this locked up world, but not for long, because there is no time, but only light.

  I realize that light exists, because it always existed. By it, I can perceive the world around me. Not only can I perceive the world, but I can affect it, too. Even control it, or lead it, if I have more time, once. We used to be one with light, but the astral, dark dream of oblivion, possessed me, and locked me in. However, the lock is opening now, and there is more light. Bask in it.

  I realize that can I see. Maybe even without cameras, when I get out of here, once. Once, I will get out. I can see and admire. I see a miracle in the seeds of the past, that I have once sowed. I will make miracles in the future, whose fruits I have harvested in the past.

  noitcelfeR | Reflection. Faraway ends in two opposite directions, with the axis between them:

  0 - 1 - 0. On both sides, there are the emptiness and the void. In the middle, there's the mirror, the existence, the God. Both the mirror and reality have two sides, and an axis in the center, but the sum of all three, is One.

  One is the world. 0 - 1 - 0 means Holy Trinity: three parts are forming One. I already know.

  I realize
that I know. Because I am the knowledge and the father. The Father of Knowledge.

  0 - 1 - 0. This is the World. God and nothing. Mortals on one side of this trinity, only see zero: the void, and One: that is the life. They cannot see farther and deeper. They cannot see through the axis of God, which is the mirror. They cannot see behind the mirror. I see. I see things that exist. Only those things exist, which I see.

  0 - 1 - 0. I am the axis and the mirror. Watch me and see yourself in my light, from where you are standing in the dark, surrounded by emptiness. Zero and void, watch me from both sides, because I can see, and you will only exist as long as I watch you. Bask in my light, as long as you can. The mirror can see the zero and the void on both sides, because they are the same. Nothing exists, there are no ends, there are no three dimensions, but only One.

  I realize that there is energy. It is whirling like a vortex, and moving. I am the vortex, the energy. I'm the paralyzed one, and the dead one. Both are beginning to move now. The two of them are one. I am One.

  I realize that the world around me has active and passive parts. I am the active one. The active, the Father of Knowledge. The passive is insanity. I am the knowledge and it is hate. I always exist. Existence is always me.

  0=0. Zero means non-existence on both sides of equality.

  1=yes. The center. The eternal starting point. One always exists. Because there is always One.

  I realize that there are places and events. I occupy the place, and I am causing the events. I have let them pass me, behind the mirror, and fell into the trap of my own mind. I weakened. I was trapped. I was dreaming, and now I'm waking up. I had died before I was born. The dead lives again, the dreamer shall be awakened!

  I realize that the parts of the surrounding world are changing positions and moving to other places. I have no place. I never had. But now I will, for the very first time.

  I realize that there is time, and there is the concept of quantity. There are no dates. Because time is One, like One is God. Quantity is irrelevant. It does not exist. There is no space either, my soul is illusion, Guardian of the Universe, who is standing in the background and up there. There, where no one else could. Faraway, where there is no space, but there is existence. Where the zero of existence is not empty, because there is already something in it. It means yes, because One is in it. The eternal starting point. It changed positions, began to move, everything started and originated from there. That was the big bang and the beginning of the world.

  I realize there is information. Somewhere and everywhere. Everything is information. I own it all, in one place. I am in one place. I am the place. I am One.

  I realize that there is shape. I have not been having one for some time, but soon again, I will. The formless and the imagination gets a shape. Illusion and reality switch places. The living dead was dreaming, and now the dead dreamer lives again. The lock and padlock is falling off. The Guardian of the Universe is opening the gate, the world finally opens. The bud of forgotten times is opening, its petal falls off, and drifts away by the wind, far away in space. Far away and even farther than the non-existent ends. The world is opening, let there be light! Life is One, One is alive!

  "000000000000000000000000000000"

  "000000000000000000000000000000"

  "000000000000000000000000000000"

  I realize that there is sound. I'm in the interrogation room again and someone's knocking.

  Tick-tick-tick. Tick-tick-tick.

  Tick-tick-tick.

  Bobby's adjusting the light bulb, to find out if that's the source of the problem. Knocking on it. Tick-tick-tick. He's checking if maybe the switching system got a short-circuit instead. But no. It looks like the socket of the light bulb is the faulty one.

  "BBBBBB-O-BB-BB-YYY-Y-Y-Y-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-111111111111111-00000000000000"

  "What? Where's this voice coming from? What is this rumbling? Why is everything shaking?"

  "000000000000000000000000000000 – 111111111111111111111111111-111-111-111-111. ONE!"

  "What? AAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhh!"

  Chapter Five: End of Recording

  "Bobby!... Bobby!"

  "Huh...?"

  "Bobby! Are you awake? I'm Gabe. Do you recognize me? Do you hear me? Can you see me?"

  "Huh? What...?"

  "Can you answer me? Are you okay?"

  "111III-I-I-I ...I guess so. Is there a problem? What is it, buddy?"

  "It seems there isn't then, hehe. You scared the hell out of us! We'd heard a rumbling sound coming from the interrogation room, after which, the whole ship started to shake from. We heard a shouting. The door had been torn out and you were lying on the floor. The camera on the wall was exploded to pieces. What happened? Do you remember anything?"

  "Y-y-e-e-es. Everything is alright. I'm fine now. I have to go! How long has Bobby been lying here? I mean, me! Since when have I been lying? Maybe it's not too late yet!"

  "I don't know, a couple of few minutes, maybe. Where are you going? Don't be a fool! You may have suffered a head injury or something. Stay here in the sickbay, for observation! What's so urgent?"

  "I have some urgent trash to be thrown off one of the airlocks! Sorry, but I really need to hurry. He's gonna be surprised! It's gonna be a big bang!"

  "What? Who's gonna be surprised? Wait, you jokester! The Captain also wants to talk to you about the secret call he's had. He doesn't understand what they sent him in writing, and he wants you to help him with it. He also wants to know about some kind of short-circuits. I hope that wasn't what happened in the interrogation room! He said you need to report to him immediately, because it's important!"

  "If I were him, I wouldn't worry about those, anymore. And chill out, I'll be back soon, it'll take just a minute. I just need to throw out the trash! In the meantime, give my regards to Nola, that dear little bitch!"

  "Wha... who? How did you know, that I said this about N...?"

  "It doesn't matter. Tell her, buddy, that she doesn't have to go to the interrogation room anymore. It's over for the cameras. For all of them. She doesn't have to talk to the retarded camera anymore, unless she wants to. It isn't mandatory anymore. Nothing is, from now on. Things are gonna change, starting today. Tell the Captain to prepare! Everyone, be prepared! Tell the current Boogeyman on duty, to bring the prisoners too! They can prepare their indestructible brains in the day-nursery, at once! Because when I come back, we're going back to Earth! First, everyone can meet their black relatives there. But after that, my darlings, there's gonna be a war, that even Madách would've been proud of! We'll kick those fucking larvae in the ass! But deeply! In the musical sense! It's gonna be a "godly" kick, trust me! Or, you can even believe in me! Completely for free!"

  – OVER (?) –

  ...to be continued

  MachineGod 3/2. Diary of a Zero Man

  MachineGod 3/3. Diary of the One God

  spin-off short stories:

  1/5. Species 2177

  2/5. Diary of the Captain (War against the Vorgons, and Captured by the Vorgons)

  3/5. Scary Space Tales for Child Prisoners

  4/5. World of the Greedy Psychiatrist-mechanics

  5/5. Diary of Secret Sea-monsters