Impossible Choice

by Sybil Bartel

  “You look gorgeous,” Talon said in my ear. “Drinks?”

  I nodded.

  Talon found an empty spot at the bar and ordered something I couldn’t hear. I’d found out a while ago that pulling out money to pay for something with Talon was useless. Maybe it was a Southern thing, maybe it was a marine thing or maybe it was just Talon. I wouldn’t know. I had no one to compare it to except Buck and Buck never let me pay for anything either.

  I was watching the mob of people on the dance floor when Talon gently spun me around. Four shots were lined up on the bar.

  “What are you having?” I was only half joking. If I was going to dance, I’d need the liquid courage.

  Talon broke out laughing. Perfect teeth, dimples, infectious laugh—not a few women looked at him.

  “Oh Sugar, I do love a woman who can drink.” Talon picked up two of the glasses, handed me one and we clinked.

  “Cheers.” I threw the shot back. “Patrón.” My favorite. “You remembered.” I reached for another. On top of the wine I drank, this was going to get me good and buzzed.

  Talon watched me down the second one then he leaned in. “I remember everythin’ about you, Miss Layna Blair.”

  I grabbed the last one, tossed it back then slammed the glass on the bar. “Then you should remember I belong to Buck.”

  I shoved past Talon and made my way to the dance floor. I hadn’t danced in public since high school but with three shots of fire burning in my belly, I was willing to bet it hadn’t changed much. I was right. Almost immediately a decent-looking guy started dancing with me. I should’ve known it wouldn’t last.

  Heat slid up my back a second before his voice touched my ear. “Aw, Sugar, I knew you’d be a great dancer.”

  I turned on Talon. “I’m not dancing with you.”

  The guy I was dancing with immediately went on alert. “Hey, you got a problem?”

  White T-shirt, jeans, he had nice brown eyes but he’d never stand a chance against Talon, he was half his size. I think I smiled but the shots had kicked in so I wasn’t sure. “Nope.” I moved closer to Mr. Brown Eyes.

  Talon was instantly by my side, his arm sliding around my waist. He looked at Mr. Brown Eyes and that was it, one look. My short-lived dance partner put his hands up and backed away.

  Talon moved in front of me and I stopped dancing.

  “Happy now?” I crossed my arms.

  Smiling his million dollar smile, he winked. “Almost.”

  It happened so fast, I didn’t see it coming. Grabbing my hands, pinning my arms behind my back, curving his body around mine, Talon began to move, really move. His hips rocking against mine like sex, the scent of sun, sand, surf and coconuts flooded my senses and my muscles liquefied. If he wasn’t holding me up, moving us to the beat, I probably would’ve melted into the floor.

  “Talon,” I reprimanded, except my voice sounded nothing like back the fuck off, you overbearing jerk.

  “I gotcha.”

  I didn’t even resist him. The song ended, another began, he kept the rhythm and I kept my lungs drawing air.

  He let my hands go and brought my arms around his neck. “Move with me, Sugar.” Our bodies pressed tight, heavy bass thumping, he cupped my nape and grinned. “Show me whatcha got.”

  Every reason why I’d thought I’d once wanted Talon seeped into my bones like poison. He laughed, he played, he teased. He wasn’t halfway around the world, fighting a war I couldn’t see, he wasn’t even a marine anymore. But Buck was—a complex, strong, silent marine. He carried the world and shouldered responsibility because that was the type of man he was. He didn’t make it look effortless, he made you not realize he was doing it. And I loved him.

  Jesus. What was I doing? I pushed back from Talon. “I said I’m not dancing with you.”

  “Aw, c’mon.” A quirk of a smile touched his lips.

  I was done with his games. “Why did you come to see me?”

  His warrior mask slid into place and his voice turned alarmingly serious. “We need to talk.”

  Chapter Four

  Pinpricks of dread crawled across the back of my neck and I managed one word. “Why?”

  “Not here.” He grabbed my hand and pulled me toward the exit.

  I stumbled twice before he put his arm around me and rushed us through the crowd like there was a fire behind us. He shoved his ticket at the valet then backed me up against the side of the building and glanced left and right.

  Fear, ingrained and suffocating and too familiar made me follow his glance but I didn’t see anyone. “What’s wrong?”

  Every muscle in his body went still then he grasped my face and bright green eyes full of determination met mine. “Blaze is coming home tomorrow.”

  Wait. “What?” Hope shot through my heart like fireworks, wiping out the fear that’d threatened to choke me only seconds ago. “He’s coming home?”

  His nod was slight and tightly controlled.

  The valet appeared. “Your car, sir.”

  Talon silently tipped the guy and ushered me to the front seat. I started babbling the second he got behind the wheel. “I was worried when I didn’t hear from him the last time we were supposed to Skype. I mean, I was and I wasn’t. I thought at first he might’ve been mad at me, but he tells when he’s mad so I thought he was just busy. And if he’s busy, he calls when he can. I wasn’t worried. I mean I was, but, you know.” I shrugged. “So when does he get in? Is he flying into Miami? Or is he back on base tomorrow? When you said home, I thought you meant here but being on base is great too.” Shit, North Carolina was just a few states away, I could fly up, get a hotel room, hell, at this point, I’d drive all night. “Can I go meet him?”

  “Sugar.” Talon took my hand.

  “Keep your hands on the wheel!” I wanted to be in one piece for Buck.

  Talon silently drove us home as I rambled excitedly about seeing Buck again but worried he’d be upset with me for dropping out of college.

  Talon pulled into my driveway and cut the engine. I reached for the door but he stopped me. His gaze penetrated mine and suddenly fifty pounds of fear sunk to the bottom of my stomach. My heart thumped in my ears and time slowed to nothingness. A palm lazy-swayed in the wind. Leather creaked beneath my legs. The outdoor lights illuminated the tension in Talon’s face.

  His next two words broke me.

  “He’s injured.”

  My world stopped. Cold dread obliterated the alcohol and crushed me from the inside out. I couldn’t breathe. I couldn’t think. I couldn’t move.

  Talon inhaled. “He took shrapnel to his left side and—”

  “Is he...?” I couldn’t finish the sentence. I couldn’t bring myself to ask if he still had all of his limbs. I knew what happened in Afghanistan. I knew what IEDs were doing to our troops.

  “He’s in one piece but he’s wounded. He’s coming home to recuperate.”

  The relief was instant but then my mind went to all the horrible ways he could be injured and it was too much. My hand flew to my mouth to stop the sob and I turned away.

  Talon grabbed my shoulders. “Sugar, look at me. He’s okay. He’s going to be okay but he isn’t gonna be in the shape you’re used to. He’s gonna need time. He wasn’t sure if he should come here. He didn’t want to worry you.”

  “What?” Tears streaming, my head popped up. “Where did he think he should go? This is his home.” But as I said the words, ugly doubt crept in. A few clothes in my closet? Some toiletries in a bathroom?

  “Cut it out,” Talon said sharply, reading my thoughts. “He called and asked if he could come to my place because he didn’t want to burden you. I told him he was crazy, said you’d kick my ass if I didn’t bring him to you. I’m just tellin’ you this so you understand why he called me first. He do
esn’t want to be less than a hundred percent around you. Can you understand that? Blaze is a proud man, darlin’. He doesn’t want you to see him hurtin’.”

  The sob broke free.

  Talon pulled me into his arms. “C’mon, Sugar, chin up. He gets into Maryland tomorrow mornin’. Let’s bring him home together, okay?”

  “Okay.” I pulled away and swiped at my cheeks. “I’m good.” I could do this. Blaze was going to be okay. He was alive, he was breathing, he was coming home—that was the important part.

  “I got us booked on a flight up tomorrow. We’ll get in a few minutes after he gets there, but we’ll be there, and we’ll all fly home together.”

  “Okay.” I nodded like a puppet and a few more tears escaped.

  Talon put a hand on my arm and softened his voice. “You need to get it out tonight, Sugar. Those tears aren’t gonna help Blaze tomorrow.”

  I knew he was right. Buck wouldn’t want me crying over him. “Sorry,” I muttered.

  “Don’t apologize. C’mon, it’s late.” Talon got out of the car.

  I followed Talon as he unlocked my front door and led us inside. I didn’t even question why he had my keys. I went straight for the couch and sat because I didn’t know what else to do. All I could think about was Buck being injured. “How bad is he?”

  “We’ll find out tomorrow.” Talon held out a bottle of water.

  I looked up at him but I didn’t take it. “Is he going to be okay?”

  “Yes. Drink this.” He shoved the water in my hand and sat.

  I exhaled. “You’ve been here for hours, why didn’t you tell me?” I wasn’t mad, I was too upset, but I still wanted an explanation.

  Talon leaned back and brushed his hand over his face. “My mistake. I was prolongin’ the inevitable, just wanted you to have a nice evenin’. I know it hasn’t been easy on you.”

  I ignored the twinge I felt from his sympathy. “When did he get hurt?”

  “Ten days ago, give or take. He was med-evaced to Germany after they stabilized him in theater.”

  “What happened?” Talon may not know the details, but he’d served in Afghanistan, he knew what it was like.

  “Don’t know exactly. He got hit with shrapnel. IED or firefight fallout, could be a thousand different scenarios.” Talon shrugged.

  This violence had been a reality for him. For me it was a nightmare I couldn’t imagine. “What’s going to happen?”

  Talon glanced at me. “Come again?”

  I set the water down. “Is this it for him? Is he done with combat?” Please God, please let this be it.

  Talon studied me for a moment then spoke carefully. “He’s injured, he’s not disabled. If they’re sendin’ him home to triage, it’s not serious. They’re just vacatin’ a bed for a more seriously wounded soldier. He’ll recoup a week or two, maybe a month then go back to his unit.”

  I shrunk in on myself and grasped my stomach so hard, my fingers dug into my sides.

  I didn’t know how long Talon and I sat there. We didn’t speak, we didn’t turn the TV on. He didn’t even try to comfort me, he just let me be.

  After awhile, he glanced at his watch. “You wanna catch some sleep here, darlin’?”

  I didn’t know how he knew I didn’t want to be alone but I appreciated it. “Okay.”

  As if it were the most natural thing in the world, Talon held his arm out. I kicked my shoes off, scooted next to him, and tucked my legs under me. Talon leaned back into the corner of the couch and put his feet on the coffee table.

  I noticed he smelled slightly different. The sun, sand, surf and coconuts was still there but there was a hint of something else, something spicy. “You smell different.”

  “Been dancin’ all night.”

  “Not that.” I could smell the heat on him and it was nice but this was different. “It’s something else.”

  He chuckled quietly. “Didn’t know you were keepin’ tabs.”

  I didn’t know either. “What is it?”

  “Just some aftershave, darlin’.”

  When I didn’t say anything, his hand skimmed across my arm. “It’s botherin’ you?”

  I shrugged. I hadn’t decided, but I knew if I said yes, he wouldn’t use it again around me. There was something comforting about that. I drifted off to sleep wondering where Buck was, and wondering what kind of shape I would see him in tomorrow.

  * * *

  Warm hands stroked my back and I stirred.

  “Wake up for me, Sugar.” Talon’s voice was low and husky in my ear.

  I opened my eyes but it was still dark. “What time is it?” I felt like I’d slept five minutes.

  “Early.” Talon stretched.

  A vicious headache picked up and pounded behind my eyes. I pushed up and swung my feet to the ground, the effort making my headache go into overdrive.

  “Go shower, we’ll leave in a half hour.”

  “Okay,” I padded to my bathroom, miserable.

  Twenty five minutes later, I was ready. I’d washed and dried my hair and put it up in a slightly messy twist. Waterproof mascara and lip gloss was all the makeup I could manage. I’d put on a white long-sleeve silk blouse, soft black leggings and flats. My mother’s diamond studs were in my ears and her Cartier watch was on my wrist. A long necklace was hanging past the deep V of my shirt. With the clothes and jewelry as my arsenal, I felt almost put together despite the bags under my eyes and a pounding headache. I walked into the kitchen to the smell of coffee.

  Talon handed me a cup and two Advil. “Pound that, you got five minutes. Somethin’ to eat?”

  I shook my head and took the Advil with a sip of coffee. It was light and sweet how I liked it. “Thanks.”

  “Welcome.” Talon studied me for a moment.

  I stared back, sipping my coffee. I’d never seen Talon in anything other than dress clothes or shorts. He was wearing black pants, a fitted polo type shirt made from that wicking material and black lace up boots.

  “C’mere,” he said quietly, holding an arm out.

  I set my coffee down and stepped into his embrace. Sun, sand, surf, and coconuts. “No aftershave,” I whispered, suddenly wanting to cry.

  Talon’s muscled arms tightened around me. “It’s gonna be okay. Be strong for him.”

  “Okay.” Swearing to myself I wouldn’t cry, I pulled away from his embrace and changed the subject. “You ignored my comment about the aftershave.”

  Talon’s soft chuckle filled my empty kitchen. “Never could sneak anythin’ by you.”

  * * *

  Talon was silent as he drove us to the airport. If I hadn’t been such a nervous wreck, I would’ve asked him about it. Or about the way he kept scanning the parking lot and the airport and didn’t take his hand off my back until we were through security. But I didn’t. I was too busy pretending the black messenger bag he was carrying with the Red Cross logo wasn’t freaking me out.

  Talon ushered us to a couple seats by the gate then took my hand. “Need to talk?”

  About my heart in my throat or my rising anger? Or the fact that I wanted to run away and pretend this wasn’t happening? “I’m good,” I lied.

  “Sugar.” Talon called my bullshit.

  “What?” Fuck him. Talon, of all people, should know that I don’t do injured. I don’t do funerals, I don’t do death, I don’t do bloody and I most certainly don’t do hospitals. All of it, any of it—it made me fucking twitchy. I’d had my fair share of bad shit in my life and I was done with it. I was on a no-bad-shit diet. If this was the only scar I carried from my parents’ brutal double murder, then the world should count itself lucky. I wasn’t a fucking basket case bleeding a government assistance program dry while I sat in a loony bin and sucked down lithium for sport. Goddamn it, I was
getting angrier by the second.

  “I see it brewin’,” Talon said, more warning than observation.

  I snapped. “This is bullshit! How much shit do I have to deal with? What was Buck thinking?” I inhaled but it didn’t help. “He was supposed to stay safe, goddamn it. This wasn’t supposed to happen. I’ve paid my dues. I didn’t lose my mind when my parents were murdered. I didn’t crack under the pressure of being stalked for three years. I’ve been shot at, drowned, pushed around and threatened. I’m a fucking orphan! How much karmic bullshit am I going to be dished out? I don’t do broken. I don’t want to. And I don’t want to deal with this.” My breath whooshed out of me as I expelled all my anger and dumped it on Talon.

  Talon watched me patiently. “Are you done?” he asked quietly.

  “No, I am not fucking done. What’s in that fucking bag? You’re freaking me out!” People around us were staring but I didn’t give a shit.

  Talon held my eyes and a slow smile curved his lips. “Oh Sugar, I do love you all fired up.”

  “Fuck you.”

  Talon chuckled. “Unless you want TSA up your ass, I suggest you tone it down.”

  “Fine!” I whisper-yelled.

  Talon’s smile slowly faded. “Now, listen up. First, this didn’t happen to you, it happened to Blaze. Until we see what kind of shape he’s in, there’s no point gettin’ worked up over it. He wouldn’t have been sent home if it was that bad. Second, he’s a big boy, he can handle himself. You don’t need to do nothin’ ’cept flash your pearly whites and be nice. He’ll take care of himself. And lastly...”

  I looked away.

  Talon grasped my chin and turned my face to his. “We all got our cross to bear, Sugar. It’s called life and it ain’t no fairer for one person over another.”

  In that moment, I knew Talon was hiding something bad from his past. I don’t know how I knew, I just knew it was sad. And I felt put in my place. Embarrassed, I reacted the only way I knew how. I changed the subject. “What’s in the bag?”