Almost a Family

by Donna Alward

  She’d always thought she’d known everything. He scowled. She always had to be right. Even all those years ago, when he’d begged her to stay, she’d turned a deaf ear. Seeing her today should have been nothing. Nothing. Instead he’d opened the door and had felt like he’d been sucker-punched in the gut.

  Jason shook his head and drained his cup. That sort of thinking wasn’t going to help anything. The house seemed quieter without Sara already. He wondered how Molly was making out with her. Bedtime was the hardest part of the day for Sara. It was the time when Kim read Sara her favorite story and sang lullabies. Jason had tried his best and they’d managed, but Molly didn’t know the child at all. She had no idea how to look after a toddler. She didn’t know potty emergencies or nightmares or grapes cut in half. She knew files and legal documents and corporations.

  The focus had to be on Sara. He put his empty mug in the sink and grabbed his jacket off of the back of a kitchen chair. If he had to see Molly at the same time, well, it couldn’t be helped. That was not why he was going, he assured himself.

  He rang the bell twice. When his finger was poised to ring the third time, Molly opened the door, her neat sweep of hair now in shambles, her face devoid of makeup, her sleeves pushed to the elbows and water splashed all over the front of her pink sweater.

  “What in the blue blazes are you doing?” Jason pushed his way inside.

  Molly shut the door behind him and he heard her sigh with frustration. “Bath time. You could have warned me, you know.”

  He chuckled. “Sara loves bath time. Did you find her squirty shark?”

  “Find it? I’m wearing it.” Her voice was clipped and annoyed. She went past him and headed up the stairs again. “I shouldn’t leave her up there alone. Excuse me.”

  When she was gone, Jason wandered into the kitchen, catching his breath at the sight he found. Kim’s normally ordered kitchen was a disaster. For two people, they’d made an extraordinary mess. Plates smeared with ketchup, glasses with the scum of chocolate milk in the bottom and a greasy cookie sheet were piled in the sink. A thick blob of ketchup was on the tablecloth and a dishtowel stained brown was crumpled on the counter where it had wiped up a spill.

  He shook his head. Molly had come home to take care of things, but it was obvious she was out of her depth. He opened the dishwasher and began loading the plates and glasses inside.

  “What do you think you’re doing?”

  He turned to find Molly, her arms full of a scrubbed and shiny Sara, leveling an accusing glare at him.

  “Just loading your dishwasher.”

  “I can do that. I do know how.”

  He floundered, straightened. “I know that.”

  Molly put Sara down, resting a hand on the child’s damp curls. “What exactly are you doing here, Jason?”

  He stared at Molly for a few seconds, then knelt down, putting on a brilliant smile for Sara. “I came to say goodnight to my best girl. The house seemed kinda quiet tonight.”

  He held out his arms and Sara rushed into them, smelling of baby shampoo and lotion and clean pajamas.

  He laughed. “Here.” He nuzzled her neck, making her giggle. “Bubbles sent a kiss goodnight.”

  Sara gripped Jason’s face, stuck out her tongue and swiped a puppy kiss right up his cheek.

  “Sara!” Molly’s voice intruded, appalled, as Jason wiped the slobber from his face. Molly took a step forward, her mouth pursed in dismay.

  Jason stopped Molly’s progress with a look. “I think that was meant for Bubbles. But you know the rules about Snoopy kisses, muffin.” Jason looked Sara evenly in the eye as she nodded back at him, chastised.

  “No Snoopy kisses. They’re yucky.”

  “That’s right. Time for bed now.”

  She peeked at him over Molly’s shoulder as they disappeared, and Jason ran a hand through his hair. Bedtime wasn’t going to be that bad, it seemed. Sara wasn’t making a big fuss about it at all. He should go home now while Molly was upstairs.

  Yet something held him back, made him stay. Maybe it was the way Molly’s eyes darkened with doubt just before she shuttered them away. Maybe it was six years of wondering what had happened to her. Maybe it was nothing other than simple curiosity about whether her life had turned out the way she had wanted.

  Whatever it was, it kept him there and he went to the living room to wait for her return.

  Chapter Two

  After reading her a story and singing three songs, Molly finally had Sara asleep. All the frustration Molly had felt throughout the day evaporated as she’d looked down on Sara’s sleeping face. Innocent and trusting. With her blonde curls and long eyelashes, she looked like a slumbering angel. Kim had been raising this little spitfire all on her own, and Molly had a new appreciation for the courage and commitment it took to be a parent. Not to mention a single one.

  The hall was quiet, and she assumed Jason had gone as she quietly descended the stairs. He didn’t even wait to say goodbye, she thought, feeling a little let down and a little relieved at the same time. It was probably just as well. Seeing him was hard enough. It brought back all the memories of their breakup, and worse, the memories of when times had been good. And it had been good—for a long time. But that was over. It would be better for everyone if they tried to keep out of each other’s way over the next few weeks.

  Wandering to the kitchen, she sighed. Having kids required sacrifices. Sacrifices she was positive she wasn’t ready to make. In that she was sure she’d made the right choice. She had too many things to do before she thought about having children of her own. She remembered the way Jason had kissed Sara’s head as he’d given her milk that afternoon. No, she was where she wanted to be. No matter how the sight of Jason and Sara together twisted her insides.

  She was in the middle of pouring water into the electric kettle when Jason spoke behind her.

  “You making tea?”

  She spun, splashing water on the counter. “I thought you’d gone.”

  “I probably should have.”

  Her body shook, not from the surprise but because he was here, in the flesh, and she’d been thinking about him. His posture was relaxed, but everything about him made her pay attention. Right now it was the dimple crawling up his cheek that distracted her.

  Molly turned back and shut off the tap. “I’m extremely tired,” she explained stiffly. “Sara only slept half an hour today and I didn’t sleep very well stranded at the airport last night.”

  “You actually slept in the airport?”

  “We were only delayed, not cancelled. Except the delay ended up being most of the night. I didn’t take the hotel voucher. I was afraid I’d miss the next flight and I wanted to get here as soon as I could.” She plugged in the kettle and searched for a mug and the tea bags, deliberately taking out only one. “Whatever you stayed to say, I’d rather get into it another time.”

  She dropped the tea bag into a mug and faced him. He was staring at her steadily, his expression unreadable.

  “What are you thinking?” The words came out slightly breathless, and she grimaced inwardly.

  “I’m thinking about how beautiful you still are. I can’t believe I’d forgotten.” He shoved his hands in his pockets and leaned against the doorway to the kitchen.

  Her heart beat erratically as a memory slid in, unwanted. Their first kiss, on prom night. They’d been slow dancing, and he’d curled a hand around her neck and whispered, “You are so beautiful.” Even then, at the innocent age of seventeen, the smoothness of his voice had been able to raise all the fine hairs on her body. When he’d leaned in to touch his lips to hers, meeting them had been the most natural thing in the world.

  She stiffened, defending herself against memories. “It’s been six years, Jason. I’m here for exactly three weeks. That’s all.”

  “So I hear. Why did you agree to come exactly, Molly?”

  She unplugged the kettle as it began to scream. “Because Kim asked me. Because she’s my only siste
r and she needs me.”

  “Molly to the rescue, is that it?”

  Pouring the water and ignoring the bitterness in his voice, she replied, “Nothing of the kind. I had some holidays coming to me, and I brought work with me. There’s no reason I can’t do both.”

  Jason laughed sharply, then boosted himself away from the door with a shoulder and took another mug out of the cupboard.

  “What’s so funny?” Molly dipped out her tea bag, added milk and took a sip as she noticed he knew exactly where to find things in Kim’s kitchen.

  “You thinking you can work and keep an eye on Sara. Believe me, it’s not as easy as you think.”

  “You did it. Just this morning, in fact.”

  He eyed her shrewdly. “Yes, I did. And it wasn’t easy, juggling animals and clients and kids for five hours. Thankfully, my staff likes Sara as much as I do. We’ve all been making do and helping out.”

  He made it sound as if he were such a paragon of virtue. She’d never met anyone who could make her feel as small and incapable as Jason Elliot. She took her cup and walked away, heading for the living room before she said something snotty and rude. Why couldn’t he just leave so she could get some sleep? She was sure she wouldn’t be so crabby if she could get seven or eight hours of uninterrupted rest.

  He followed her, to her supreme annoyance.

  “Sara’s favorite breakfast foods are toast with peanut butter and apple juice or toaster waffles and syrup. But she doesn’t like any butter on them, just the syrup.”

  “I’m sure we’ll manage just fine.”

  “She’s potty trained, so you’ll be okay there.”

  “Jason, stop it.” Molly put her cup on an end table and clenched her fists. “I can handle it. Sara can actually speak for herself, quite well for a girl her age, I think. I’m twenty-seven years old and have been looking after myself for some time now. I don’t need you to ride in on your white horse and save the day, got it? You’re free to get back to your practice. You’ve made sure we’re settled. Your duty to us is hereby discharged.”

  She cringed at her shrewish tone. She didn’t want to pick a fight or stir up recriminations. What was it about him that got under her skin?

  “You really haven’t changed, have you?” Jason put down his own cup and squared off against her. He was only inches away, close enough she could smell his cologne. He flexed his fingers, snapping the index ones with his thumbs. “You always had to do everything yourself. Had to prove yourself. Do everything your way, with no help from anyone.”

  “You know why,” she answered in a low, threatening voice. Their gazes locked and hers warned him not to dig too deep into the past. He knew the secrets she held inside, the ones that brought out that need for independence and her eyes begged him not to use them against her now.

  He snorted with derision but backed off just a little. “I thought that after all these years, you’d be over it. I should have known.”

  “And I would have thought that you’d have learned you can’t control other people’s lives and have everything your way. But I guess you haven’t changed either,” she retorted without thinking. She pressed a hand to her forehead, annoyed that she’d been goaded into responding. Six hours. Less than six hours home and they were arguing already.

  “So where does that leave us?” Agitated, he ran his hands through his hair, his eyes openly hostile.

  She smiled thinly. “Exactly where we were before today. You have your life. I have mine. Let’s keep it that way.”

  “Fine,” he bit out, glaring. “You’ll be begging for my help before the week is out.”

  He stomped to the door and she heard it slam behind him. “The hell I will,” she muttered to herself.

  *

  Molly was exhausted by the time Jason picked them up to go to the hospital the following evening. She’d broached the subject of going without him to Sara and had met with stiff resistance. The child was clearly attached to her “Uncle” Jason, and rather than rock the boat, Molly acquiesced. How one child could demand so much attention, she wasn’t sure. But she knew that keeping the house in order and entertaining Sara had filled her day, leaving her no time to even open her briefcase.

  The dinner mess was at least tidied up when he arrived. He looked big and outdoorsy-handsome in his thick brown coat and heavy boots. His hair had been whipped up by the winter wind, his cheeks were ruddy with cold. She opened the door, left it ajar and went to get her own coat, leaving him standing silently in the gap while the brisk air rushed into the foyer.

  “Come on, Sara. It’s time to go.”

  Sara came around the corner carrying a teddy bear and a folded piece of paper. Molly fluffed her hair over the collar of her coat and knelt to help Sara put on her winter boots.

  They still hadn’t spoken, and it was getting on Molly’s nerves—feeling his big presence behind her, knowing he was standing there. Close enough to touch. Close enough to be folded into those strong arms, enveloped in his jacket. How she could want to and still feel so hostile toward him confused her.

  “Why don’t you drive my rental?” she suggested, stuffing Sara’s arms into her jacket. “That way we don’t have to move the seat back and forth.”

  “Fine,” he said quietly. She could feel the heat from his body as he leaned inside further, reaching to pick up the keys from the small table by her left hip. Her heart beat just a little bit faster at the his nearness.

  “Okay!” she said brightly to Sara while her insides trembled. It wasn’t only Jason. She was going to see Kim, too, and was afraid of what she might see, how she might feel seeing her sister lying broken in a hospital bed. She hadn’t seen Kim in a couple of years. This wasn’t exactly how she’d envisioned their next meeting.

  “We’re all ready. Got your card?”

  Sara held up her folded paper in a fuzzy mitten.

  “I’ve got my purse. Let’s go.”

  She locked the door behind them, leaving on the porch light. The sedan was already warming up, and Jason came forward to scoop up Sara and secure her in her seat. Head held high, Molly opened the passenger door herself and got inside, buckling her seat belt.

  He pulled out of the drive, everyone eerily quiet.

  She glanced over at his legs. He was in jeans again, faded ones that creased at the knee as he sat. His jaw held a hint of dark stubble, and his fingers—those long, glorious fingers—were gripping the steering wheel, encased in brown leather gloves that matched his coat.

  Fingers that had touched her intimately years before. Fingers that had wiped her tears and had fed her chocolates at Christmas. Fingers that he’d once loved to sink into her hair…ones that had touched her skin…

  Scowling, she turned her head and stared out the window at the inky darkness of the river as they headed into Fredericton. Ten minutes. In ten minutes, they’d be at the hospital and out of this silent prison. In ten minutes, she could stop smelling him and feeling him so close.

  “Uncle Jason?”

  “Yes, sweetie?”

  “Are you mad at Aunt Molly?”

  Before she could stop it, Molly’s head swiveled in his direction and his gaze met hers. She felt her heart leap at the emotion there. It wasn’t animosity. It was acceptance. Acceptance of the inevitability of how things were between them. She wondered if her eyes mirrored the same thoughts. That the things they hadn’t resolved six years ago still hung between them.

  He looked in the rearview mirror as he answered the child. “No, Sara. I’m not mad at your Aunt Molly.”

  “Then why aren’t you talking?”

  Molly hid a smile and waited for his answer.

  “Aw, we’re just thinking about seeing your mommy again. I know she’s excited to see you.”

  Molly’s lips curved deeper at his clear manipulation, turning the topic away from them.

  “I made her a card.”

  “I see that. She’ll love it. I know she misses you. But she still has an owie, okay? You’ll have
to be very careful getting up on her bed and stuff.”

  “I know.”

  Molly stared out the window again, wondering about the thought process of a three-year-old. What did Sara think and understand about what had happened to her mother? Did she even grasp the enormity of the accident? Cracked ribs and a ruptured spleen were nothing to fool with, and neither was a concussion. It had been the better part of a week and this was the first time Kim had been alert enough to see her own daughter. Molly didn’t even know exactly what had happened. All Kim had been able to manage through the medications was a brief phone call asking for help. The weak, thready voice on the line had frightened Molly sufficiently. She’d started making arrangements as soon as her hands had stopped shaking. She had meant to ask as soon as she arrived, but seeing Jason had made her so uncomfortable that she’d tried to keep their conversations to a minimum.

  Now her sister was well enough for them to visit, and Molly was glad Kim was recovering nicely despite the seriousness of her injuries. She hadn’t hesitated to come and help, but she only had three weeks off and then she had to be back to work. She thought back to the files she’d brought with her. Land leases and royalty contracts. Even on vacation, she couldn’t afford to slack off a bit. A week after her scheduled return, she’d have her performance review and she’d know if she got her promotion. A promotion that would entitle her to a corner office with her own paralegal and a raise—not to mention a lovely stock option.

  She smiled to herself. She never would have had the same opportunity had she stayed in New Brunswick. Moving to Calgary and getting into the corporate legal business had been her smartest move. And she’d never regretted her decision. Much.

  Jason pulled into the hospital parking lot, went down the second row and found a space.