Bitter Memories

by Margaret Mayo

  Alejandro snorted. ‘There are dozens of Manuels in Tenerife. Did you find out his surname?’

  ‘Yes, but I don’t see that it’s of any great importance. Why are you phoning me?’ She heard his indrawn breath. He was angry with her for being evasive, but she did not care. He had no right at all to question her movements.

  ‘I want you to come to Santa Cruz.’

  It sounded like a mandate, and Tanya bridled. ‘Just like that? You give the order and I run, is that what You’re suggesting?’

  ‘If that’s how it sounded, I apologise,’ he said stiffly. ‘But it would be wrong of you to miss the carnaval, and I don’t just mean the grand parade; I mean all of it—all the heats, all the dancing, all the excitement. I have an apartment in Santa Cruz; you can stay there.’

  ‘No, thank you, I don’t want to come.’ Tanya deliberately hardened her voice.

  ‘Your sister is at work, I presume?’

  ‘Yes.’

  ‘Then it is a ridiculous state of affairs,’ he growled angrily. ‘You cannot call sitting around there by yourself a holiday. Our carnaval is second only to Rio; it is the largest in Europe, and you should miss none of it.’

  In truth Tanya thought it sounded pretty exciting, and it would be heaps better than amusing herself here, but to stay in Alejandro’s apartment? It would be putting herself too much at risk.

  ‘I am not using the apartment myself, Tanya, if that’s what is worrying you.’

  His astuteness surprised her.

  ‘I would be with you during the day, naturally; most people take a week off work at this time of year. But I would return to my house in Orotava each evening. You’d have no need to feel threatened by my presence.’

  ‘How thoughtful of you.’ Tanya deliberately filled her tone with scorn.

  Alejandro snorted his annoyance. ‘Perdóneme, I thought I was doing you a favour. If you don’t want to enjoy the carnaval, then so be it. Es tuya la perdida, no mia.’

  Tanya could just see in her mind’s eye the arrogant tilt to his head, the anger flashing in his eyes, but he deserved to be put down. Maybe it was because she had responded to his kiss that he thought she would jump at the opportunity. Maybe he did not know her as well as he thought!

  ‘I didn’t say I didn’t want to come,’ she said pointedly. In fact she thought it an excellent idea. Her holiday was beginning to pall, especially now Charlene had met Juan. He was all her sister could talk about. ‘I’m merely suspicious about your motives.’

  Another hiss of anger. ‘You have made it very plain, mi niña, that you want nothing more to do with me. Our relationship will, I assure you, be strictly platonic—unless, of course, you change your mind.’

  ‘I will never do that,’ announced Tanya quickly. ‘And in those circumstances I will be pleased to take you up on your offer, providing Charlene can stay with me if she gets any time off.’

  ‘Naturally, she is very welcome—but—’ and his tone hardened ‘—not your male friend.’

  Tanya was glad he could not see her smile. He actually sounded jealous, which was ridiculous when he had so many girlfriends. ‘Manuel will not like it,’ she said, trying to make her voice sound regretful, ‘but yes, I will conform with your wishes.’

  ‘Good.’ It was a curt response. ‘I will pick you up first thing in the morning. It was my plan to escort you there today, but—since you were otherwise occupied— that is now impossible; it is far too late. Buenas noches, Tanya.’

  The line went dead before she could respond, and as she put the receiver down she wondered whether she was making a big mistake. He had said he would behave, but, knowing Alejandro, how could he? He was an extremely sensual man. Right from the start of their relationship they had been unable to keep their hands off each other; how could they spend a whole week together without succumbing?

  Charlene was equally uneasy when Tanya told her about Alejandro’s invitation. ‘Goodness, Tan, that’s the craziest thing I’ve ever heard; You’re playing right into his hands. You know what the guy’s like—he’s only after your body.’

  ‘He assured me that our relationship would be strictly platonic,’ Tanya told her, ‘And he won’t be there at night; I’ll have the apartment to myself.’

  ‘And you believed him?’ asked her sister incredulously. ‘You want your head reading if you believe anything that man says. Have you forgotten already how he treated you? And how about all these other girls we’ve seen him out with?’

  ’There are only two.’

  ‘And two’s too many if he’s setting his cap at you again. Oh, Tan, darling, don’t make a fool of yourself a second time.’ Charlene hugged her sister tightly. ‘You can’t kid me; I know You’re still attracted to him—but he’s not worth it, really he isn’t. He’s not serious about you; I don’t think he could be serious about anyone. I don’t think he even loved his wife as a man should—otherwise he wouldn’t have started an affair with you.’

  Tanya heaved a sigh. ‘You’re right, I know you’re right, but it seems too good an opportunity to miss.’

  Charlene grimaced wryly. ‘It’s all my fault that you’re being neglected. Trust Carlos to go off sick at a time like this. And I don’t actually blame you for wanting to go to Santa Cruz. The carnaval really is something. If You’re so determined, all I can say is, be careful.’

  ‘I will, I promise. I’m older and wiser now. I’m going into this with my eyes wide open.’

  ‘So long as you don’t leave your heart wide open. Tan, darling, I love you. I don’t want you hurt again. And if I can scrounge a day or two off I’ll be up there like a shot. You will ring me as soon as you know the address?’

  * * *

  Matilde, not knowing the underlying tension between Alejandro and Tanya, was pleased that she was going to see all of the carnaval, though she insisted that Tanya come back to her for the final days of her holiday.

  Not unnaturally, Tanya slept little that night, tossing and turning in her normally comfortable bed, worrying, wondering what she was letting herself in for, hoping it was not a terrible mistake—like going to his party had been!

  She must remember at all times to keep her distance, not to let herself get into any compromising situations. It would be all too easy to give in to the dictates of her body. Although her mind agreed with her that she hated Alejandro, her body thought otherwise; it never listened to anything it was told.

  Alejandro turned up at eight, much earlier than Tanya had expected. Although he was casually dressed m beige trousers and shirt, he still looked devastating, and despite every good resolution she had made Tanya’s heartbeats quickened. He was so good-looking, so erotic! How could any woman resist him?

  Her case was packed and stood ready by the door. She had put on a pair of white cotton trousers and Tshirt, and Alejandro looked her up and down, slowly, thoughtfully, his eyes finally coming to rest on her face. ‘You look tired, Tanya. I trust you didn’t lie awake half the night worrying about whether You’re doing the right thing?’

  ‘I didn’t sleep well, that’s true,’ she answered, wishing he couldn’t read her so accurately, ‘but only because I was hot.’

  He didn’t believe her; it was there in his eyes. ‘It’s much cooler in the north,’ he announced, his lips quirking. ‘You should have no difficulty sleeping there.’

  Oh, but she would. How could she possibly settle in Alejandro’s apartment, knowing that he had slept in the same bed, or, if not, in another room? His presence would be stamped indelibly all over it, and she wished too late that she had refused to go. Charlene was right; she was making a mistake, a giant one.

  It was on the tip of her tongue to say that she had changed her mind when he said briskly, ‘Right, if You’re ready, we’ll go.’

  ‘What’s the rush?’ she asked. ‘Matilde has some coffee on; wouldn’t you like a cup?’

  ‘Proscrastinating, Tanya?’ The glint in his eye told her that he had guessed her thoughts.

  She turned swi
ftly away. ‘I was being polite, that’s all.’

  ‘Then we‘ll go.’ He picked up her suitcase. ‘Adiós, Matilde.’ He was outside the house in a matter of seconds, leaving Tanya to hurry after him. Her luggage was stowed in his boot. They both got in and he started the engine. Matilde waved them off.

  It was as though she were going to another planet. Tanya felt that she was leaving everything that was comfortable and familiar behind her. She was going away with this man who had once been her lover, she was entrusting herself to him, believing him when he said there would be nothing sexual between them—and yet already it had started!

  It was impossible to sit so close and not feel any reaction. It was faintly better because the car had an open top, but she was nevertheless still intensely aware of him—and if it was like this now what was it going to be like in a day or two’s time?

  She had thought he would drive south and pick up the motorway, making the journey to Santa Cruz so much quicker, but instead he headed in the opposite direction. ‘Where are we going?’ she asked with a faint frown.

  ‘I thought I would take you to see my tomatoes. I still grow them, you know, the same as my father did.’ He was completely relaxed, a smile playing about his lips.

  ‘I suppose there’s no hurry,’ she said, trying to hide her annoyance. ‘Is there nothing going on today in Santa Cruz? I thought the whole idea was for me to see all the events.’

  ‘And so it is,’ he agreed, still smiling, ‘But in the main they do not start until late afternoon, and some, like the election of the reina del carnaval, do not start until after nine. They go on very late, I’m afraid.’

  Tanya took a deep, angry breath and sat up a little straighter, her eyes over-bright as she glared at him. ‘You’ve tricked me, Alejandro. My days will be just as empty as before.’

  ‘Oh, no, they won’t,’ he said confidently, ‘Because you’ll have me. We can do whatever you want to do—see the sights, swim, sunbathe, go walking. The world is your oyster, mi cariño—and you have to admit it will be much more fun than being on your own.’

  ‘I hate you.’ She looked straight ahead, her hands clenched tightly in her lap. ‘You set this whole thing up. You let me believe that all of the events took part in the daytime.’

  ‘Would you have come if I’d told you the truth?’

  ‘Most definitely not,’ she cned. ‘In fact I insist that you turn around right now and take me back to Matilde’s.’

  ‘Not on your life, Tanya.’ His foot went down on the accelerator as if to confirm his intention. ‘We need to spend time together, and this was the only way I could think of arranging it. You’re mine now, Tanya, for the next seven days, completely mine.’

  She looked across at him, her eyes narrowed coldly. ‘I’ve never belonged to you, and I never will.’ Her heart was panicking. What a situation! She had never dreamt that he would do this to her. She tilted her chin. ‘Once you go back to your house at night there’ll be nothing to stop me leaving. I refuse to be your prisoner.’

  Still he smiled infuriatingly. ‘Not a prisoner, Tanya, never that, and who’s to say I’ll go home?’

  Her blue eyes widened. ‘But you promised.’ Her heart thudded.

  ‘Promises are made to be broken.’ His voice had gone down to its gravelly depths, the way it always did when there were things on his mind other than prosaic conversation.

  Tanya’s mind darted this way and that, trying to think of a way she could get out of this situation. Nothing came immediately. She was trapped, whether she liked it or not. She had never thought he would do this to her; she had trusted him. But never again. If she got out of this unscathed—and she had every intention of doing just that—then she would make very certain that Alejandro played no further part in her life.

  ‘You’ve gone very quiet, amor mio.’

  ‘I am not your love,’ she retorted furiously.

  ‘You could be.’

  ‘Along with Inocente and Beatriz?’ Her eyes blazed as she looked at him.

  ‘Beatriz is my cuñada, my sister-in-law.’

  Again Tanya was stunned. She really was making quite a fool of herself. Her voice was little more than a whisper when she said, ‘Why didn’t you tell me?’

  ‘Because I thought Matilde would have said.’

  Tanya shook her head. ‘She did introduce us, but you know how quickly she speaks. I caught the name Vázquez, but that was all.’

  ‘So you assumed she was my wife, and then later, when I knocked that little theory on the head, you thought she was my mistress? What an opinion you have of me.’

  ‘I’m sorry, Alejandro.’

  ’Sorry?’ It was his turn to be angry. ‘I seem to be getting the blame for all sorts of things I haven’t done, and I’m not sure that I like it.’

  Tanya wanted to tell him that if he hadn’t done the dirty on her in the first place she would never have jumped to such conclusions, but he wouldn’t hsten, she knew, not in the mood he was in at this moment, and she could hardly blame him. And there was still Inocente, who was apparently his current girlfriend, and if that was the case why was he insisting on spending time with her, Tanya? It was a whole mixedup situation.

  ‘Have you nothing more to say for yourself?’ Gone were the low, sensual tones, replaced by a cold hardness that made Tanya squirm.

  ‘It was a legitimate mistake, one anyone could have made,’ she returned defensively. ‘And you haven’t told me about Inocente; what does she mean to you?’

  ‘Inocente is my friend.’

  ‘Your friend?’ asked Tanya, her tone derisive. ‘She looks far more than that to me. The girl’s in love with you.’

  ‘We are close, yes,’ he admitted.

  More than close, thought Tanya. Lovers might be a more accurate description.

  ‘You are jealous of Inocente?’

  Tanya tossed him a swift, sceptical glance. ‘That’s the very last thing I’d feel. You’re welcome to her; You’re welcome to as many girls as you like. Just don’t try and add me to your list.’

  His hands clenched the wheel suddenly, knuckles white, and Tanya guessed she had struck a raw nerve. He hated to think that he had once had her in the palm of his hand and then lost her; he hated the thought that she might never really have had any deep affection for him. He needed to try and prove himself. He had a massive male ego, and she had bruised it.

  Within half an hour they had reached his tomato finca, and Tanya was extremely impressed. There were acres and acres of tomato plants growing in serried ranks, much bigger and thicker than any she had seen in England. They were supported by twigs and taller than a person, and women were between the rows, picking the tomatoes, putting them into baskets, in which they would eventually be transferred to the packing plant.

  ‘What surprises me,’ said Tanya, ‘is that the Canary tomatoes we have in England are very small, and yet I’ve seen no small ones here. Why is that? Are there different sorts?’

  ‘No, they’re all the same,’ he said, shaking his head. ‘It’s just that the English specify small tomatoes. You will see later how they’re graded on conveyors. Such places as Holland and Belgium, Mexico, the USA, they all want big ones.’

  ’They’re certainly much tastier,’ agreed Tanya.

  Some of the tomatoes, growing on higher ground, were sheltered from the strong winds that sometimes blew on the island by walls of strong nylon sheeting stretched between posts.

  They did not stay long; the tension between them was too great. It was a brief, whistle-stop tour, and then they were on their way again. The road through the mountains climbed higher and higher, and Tanya caught occasional glimpses of Teide in the distance, snow-peaked and dramatic against an unbelievably deep blue sky. They passed through a village where purple and red bougainvillaea made a brilliant splash of colour against the white walls of the houses.

  He drove a little too quickly round dangerous hairpin bends, the wind blew through her hair, and the higher they climbed the colde
r it became, and the silence between them was tangible. Stopping to look at his tomatoes being grown had done nothing to lessen the tension.

  When they reached the road that took them past Mount Teide he finally spoke. ‘Do you want to stop and take a closer look? Take a ride in the cable car, maybe?’

  Tanya shook her head. ‘I went up with Charlene, but I could do with a jumper out of my case.’ If she had known when they set off that he was going to bring her this way she would have been prepared. There was frozen snow on the lava either side of the road, frozen snow on the shrubs and plants. She knew it was frozen because she and Charlene had tried to make snowballs. It amazed her that the sun didn’t melt it more quickly; she had learned that it took months for it to disappear off the top of the mountain.

  Alejandro stopped the car and opened the boot, waiting while she unsnapped her case and took out a thick jumper. He shrugged into a jacket himself, and then they were on their way again. Neither spoke.

  They dropped slowly down out of the mountains, through town after town, until finally, thankfully, they reached the outskirts of the capital.

  ‘Where is your apartment?’ Tanya spoke without thinking, and it was as though her voice had cracked the silence, for Alejandro looked at her and faintly smiled. ‘Not far now.’

  Tanya had not been to Santa Cruz before and found it was not quite what she had expected. She had always thought that all capitals were beautiful, but this one wasn’t. And as if knowing what she was thinking, Alejandro said, ‘It might not have great looks, but it has great people. It’s nicknamed “Capital de la Amabilidad”, the Capital of Kindness. The Santacruceros are a warm, friendly people, as you’ll find out.’

  If I stay long enough, thought Tanya.

  His apartment was at the top of a high-rise block, not very far from the commercial centre. A high-speed lift took them up, and once inside Tanya was staggered by its opulence. She had expected a tiny bachelor apartment, furnished with only the essentials for infrequent visits; instead it was a veritable home from home. It wanted for nothing; it was as luxurious as his house in Orotava.

  ‘Do you stay here often?’ she asked. Perhaps he used it as his love-nest, entertained his lady-friends here.