Amelia's Journey

by Martha Rogers

Clara Haynes sat in the middle of the seat with her back toward the driver, so that left Ben and Amelia to sit side by side. A twinkle in Clara’s eyes let Amelia know the seating arrangement had been thought out beforehand. For that Amelia was most appreciative.

  “Good afternoon, Miss Haynes. I’m so glad you were free to accompany us today.”

  “I looked forward to it, and please, call me Clara. Everyone else does. After all, I’m only fourteen years older than Ben.” She moved her parasol so that it blocked the sun from her face.

  Amelia did the same with hers and welcomed the shade it provided. “All right, I will.” She turned to Ben. “And remember we’re not standing on formality, so I’m Amelia and not Miss Carlyle.”

  Ben chuckled and shook his head. “I don’t think you’ll ever be anything but Amelia to me.”

  The coachman drove them along the street toward the Old North Church, one of Amelia’s favorite places to visit. Clara reminisced about the places they passed, then interrupted one of her stories to grin at Amelia. “Here I am going on and on about Boston when you probably know a great deal more than I do since I’ve been gone for a while.”

  What a perfect opportunity to learn more about Clara Haynes. “I was wondering, why did you choose to go out west with your brother?”

  “I went with the idea of being a teacher and helping with the mission work there, but then Matthew and Elizabeth needed me to help with the children. Five children were a lot for Elizabeth to handle. When Billy started school a few years ago, I went back to teaching the older students in the school. I’ve enjoyed it.”

  “Do you ever regret leaving Boston and all your family and friends here?” That would be the hardest for Amelia to do.

  “At first I missed my parents and other siblings, but Matthew’s household was so lively that soon I didn’t have time for missing them. I made many new friends at the church we attend there, so now I don’t miss Boston at all, although I still love this city.”

  “It all sounds so exciting to live on a ranch, but I’m not sure I’d want to leave everything here, even though I do love adventures and new things.”

  Clara smiled and leaned over to pat Amelia’s arm. “Oh, if the right man came along, you might change your mind. Love does strange things to us.”

  Heat rose in Amelia’s face as she caught a glimpse of the smile on Ben’s face. Yes, she was attracted to him, but he’d be gone in a few days. And would she be willing to give up her life here for life on a ranch in Kansas? For that she had no answer.

  The red spots on Amelia’s cheeks shot Ben’s thoughts far ahead to the future. He wanted to be that man in her life, but with the distance between them, he had no hopes of fostering a growing relationship. Mary Beth’s staying did give him some hope of seeing Amelia again, but with her beauty and spirited personality, she wouldn’t remain single long in Boston.

  As the two women talked, jealousy for the young men who would claim Amelia for a dance or two at the cotillions in the days ahead wiggled its way into his heart. One of those would most likely win her hand in marriage as well.

  He had no right to expect anything more than friendship from Amelia Carlyle, but his heart wished for more, much more. Her animated expressions and use of her hands while she conversed with Aunt Clara fascinated him.

  She turned to glance at him. “And what do you find so amusing, Benjamin Haynes?”

  Now it was his turn to have heat in his face. “I was admiring two lovely women enjoying their time together.”

  Aunt Clara clasped her hands and held them in her lap. “Here I’ve been rattling on like a buggy with a loose wheel. This is supposed to be your time together, and I’m monopolizing it. Please excuse me, Ben.”

  He laughed and bent over to grasp Aunt Clara’s hands. “You’re excused. Besides, your conversations are interesting, and I’ve learned a good deal about our hometown.”

  “Still, I should keep quiet and let you two have your visit. We’ll have to return home soon.”

  Indeed, the time passed faster than he would like, but perhaps he could salvage what was left. Before he had the chance to speak, Amelia shifted her parasol and gazed directly in his eyes. His breath caught in his throat at the depth in those brown pools of color.

  “Tell me what it’s like living on a ranch.”

  That he could do with ease. “It’s busy. We have a large herd of cattle and lots of land for them to roam. I ride my horse every day while we’re checking the herds and repairing fences. I hope to get a parcel of land and begin my own ranch one of these days in the near future.”

  “What is the weather like in Kansas? I’ve heard you have bad storms.”

  He remembered the tornado last year during the springtime and nodded. “Yes, we do have tornadoes, but we also have droughts, and once our creek flooded after a heavy rain. The winters are cold, and we have snow much like Boston.” He groaned inwardly. His talk of the weather could turn her against the land. “But the beauty of the prairie and the freshness of the air in springtime and the beauty of the fall more than make up for the few times we have storms.”

  A glance across at Aunt Clara revealed her twirling her parasol with a satisfied smile. She liked Amelia and would be a good ally to have when he started courting Amelia to win her hand. Wait a minute. What had given him that idea? He couldn’t court Amelia halfway across the country, and he had too many responsibilities to remain here. He swallowed hard to quench the desire in his heart.

  “Mary Beth has told me a few things about your home there. It sounds quite nice.”

  Ben blinked his eyes and returned his attention to the girl beside him. “It’s a large house with barns and stables and a garden sitting out on the edge of our property. If we didn’t have such a large family, I imagine it would get lonely for Ma. Our nearest neighbor is several miles away.” There he went again, bringing up the negatives. He’d never win her interest if he didn’t bring up some of the good points.

  Aunt Clara shook her head. “Don’t let him scare you. We go into town for supplies twice a month and to church on Sunday. Sweetwater Springs is a nice-size town, and the people are quite friendly.”

  “And we have lots of socials and fun events, especially in the spring and summer.” If he could make the town sound more appealing, perhaps his parents could convince Mr. Carlyle to bring his family for a visit. He was only kidding himself. If they had any intention of ever coming to Kansas, they would have done it long before now. But he could dream of such a visit—and even pray that it might happen.

  Chapter 4

  Friday morning Amelia spotted the Haynes family at the railroad depot, but she had eyes only for Ben and headed in his direction. Her parents followed behind, and her father called out to Mr. Haynes. Memories of that other farewell at this same station filled her mind. Then the huge engine had frightened her, but today it brought sadness into her heart.

  Ben greeted her with a smile and placed his hand on her arm. “Let’s go down this way a bit, so we can talk more privately.” He led her several yards away from his family and the noise of the train as it prepared to depart.

  “We don’t have but a few minutes, and there’s so much I want to say.” Ben grasped her hands in his and gazed at her with his deep brown eyes that glittered with a sadness to match her own. “I can’t begin to tell you how much this past week and renewing our friendship has meant to me.”

  Moistness filled her eyes, and she swallowed hard. “I’ve enjoyed every minute with you, and I will miss you very much.”

  “Then we must keep in touch. Mary Beth can give you our address, and she’s already given me yours. Please say you’ll write to me.” His hands exerted a slight pressure on hers as though to plead her answer.

  “Of course I’ll write.” Even if he hadn’t asked, she planned to do just that. No matter what propriety may say, she didn’t intend for this friendship to fade away because of distance. “I’m glad Mary Beth is staying because now I’ll have another way of finding out a
bout what your family is doing besides just your letters.” Heat rose in her cheeks, and she dipped her head. He must think her to be terribly brazen, but she meant every word.

  The heat from the train added to the heat of the day, and trickles of perspiration formed on Ben’s forehead. He released her hands and removed his western style hat. He also wore cowboy boots, and his suit was not the same as those her father and other men in Boston wore. His hair now slipped down over his forehead in a dark brown wave. It added a boyish appeal to his handsome face.

  “When do you think you might return to Boston?” With Mary Beth here, surely the family would be back for a visit in a few months.

  “I don’t know. If Ma wants to visit Mary Ann at all, it’ll have to be before November and winter setting in. The weather gets really cold with ice and snow, so travel is pretty much limited until spring.” His fingers brushed hers. “I don’t want to wait until then to see you again.”

  Her heart beat with fury beneath the gauze of her bodice. She didn’t want to wait that long either. Before she could respond, his mother called to them.

  Ben glanced toward his family. “I suppose we must get back. Ma is ready to board.” He grasped her hands again. “Please don’t forget me.”

  “I…I won’t. I promise.” When he released her hands and turned toward his family, the heat from his touch remained. She walked as close to him as possible without touching him in order not to draw her father’s attention.

  The months loomed ahead with loneliness even though she would attend many parties and events leading up to the cotillion and her presentation to society. Her friends from school had talked about nothing else before graduation last year, and most of them had made their debuts that fall, but she’d been too ill with pneumonia to participate.

  Ben leaned close to whisper, “Don’t go falling for any of those fellows you’ll meet in the next few months.” Then he grinned and winked before picking up his youngest brother.

  Heat rose in her face once again. She had no intention of caring about any of the young men she might meet in the coming social season. In fact, if she had her way, there would be no parties or cotillions at all. They were a complete waste of time and money as far as she was concerned. Still, her parents expected it and had already made several commitments.

  Clara wrapped her arms around Amelia. “It’s been so much fun to be with you and your family.” She grinned and added, “Remember, I’ve been through what you are to experience in the next few months, and it doesn’t mean you have to pick one of them for a husband.” The sparkle in her eye left no doubt as to her meaning.

  Amelia hugged her close. “I do hope I get to see you before another six or seven years go by.”

  The train whistle screeched through the air, causing Amelia to jump much as she’d done as a child. Clara laughed and picked up a small valise. Mr. Haynes stepped up onto the car platform and waved to her parents. “Let’s keep in better touch now, Isaac.”

  Amelia didn’t see or hear her father’s response. Her attention focused on Ben, who sat near a window with Billy on his lap. Both of them waved at her.

  The train moved down the track at a snail’s pace, then as it cleared the depot, it picked up speed and carried Ben out of her life—but only for the time being. He’d be back. He had to, because if he didn’t come, her heart would break into a thousand and one fragments.

  Ben gazed out the window until he could no longer see the dot of yellow that was Amelia. For the first time in his life, he didn’t want to go home, but common sense bade him see otherwise.

  The hardest thing he’d done in the past few months was to not kiss Amelia good-bye. He could have reached her forehead if he’d moved just inches closer, but he had really wanted to taste her pretty lips. Only the shocked reaction that would come from her parents prevented him from doing so. He had to do everything right to stay in their good graces, or Amelia would be put off limits faster than he could rope a calf.

  The ranch would require much work in the days and months ahead to prepare for the winter season. He and his brother Gideon would help the ranch hands round up some of the herd to take to auction in Abilene, and the rest would be gathered into the winter pastures closer to the ranch house and barns. Pa had purchased two new bulls before they left home and was expecting their arrival on the ranch to coincide with the family’s return.

  That would mean new calves next spring and more work rounding them up and branding them. If things went well, one more trip to Boston before winter might be possible, but if not, then a return would be put off until early summer.

  He settled Billy in the seat beside him. Gideon and Grace Ann sat across from him. Gideon narrowed his eyes and grinned. “I think you would have liked to stay behind with Mary Beth.”

  Ben jerked his head back. “Whatever gave you that idea?”

  “Ha, that look in your eyes every time you’re near Amelia Carlyle is a dead giveaway, brother.”

  Grace Ann sighed. “She is so pretty, and she has such beautiful clothes. I wish I had a dress like that one she wore today.”

  Ben shook his head and chuckled. “And just where do you plan to wear something like that in Kansas?”

  She shrugged and lifted her eyebrows. “I don’t know, but if I had a dress like that, I could think of somewhere to go…maybe a church social or one of the dances in town.”

  Gideon punched her in the arm. “You’re not even old enough to go to those yet. Pa said you had to wait until you’re sixteen.”

  Grace Ann blinked her eyes, but a tear still slipped down her cheek as she rubbed her arm. Ben poked Gideon to remind him not to tease his younger sister so much. Gideon shrugged and picked up a book to read.

  Ben reached over and squeezed Grace Ann’s hand and winked. That elicited a smile. Satisfied she was all right, he turned and gazed out the window as the train sped across Massachusetts. Farm after farm dotted the land as well as trees everywhere.

  The white spire of a church steeple lifted its point toward heaven as they passed through a small town along the way. He would see many of those between here and St. Louis, where they would change trains to head across Missouri to Kansas. Many times he’d considered the first families to move west and marveled at the stamina it had taken to travel in covered wagons for such distances. He was thankful his father and mother had chosen Kansas, close to the Missouri border, for their final destination.

  Now that he was older, he better understood the generosity of his grandparents who had helped Pa with the funds he needed for the ranch. He glanced now at his parents seated across the aisle. They talked with their heads together. His mother had given up so much to adventure out with Pa. Would Amelia ever do something like that for him?

  Pa beckoned to him from across the aisle. “Come and sit with us, Ben. We’d like to talk.”

  Ben settled onto the bench and waited for his father to speak his mind.

  “We noticed that you took quite an interest in Amelia Carlyle this week. Is there something there we should know about?”

  Ben gulped. There went his belief that he and Amelia had been discreet. If his parents noticed, hers were bound to have done the same. “I don’t think so. At least not yet.” He lowered his head to make his confession. “But I do like her, and we’ve promised to write to each other.”

  His father frowned. “Son, I understand how you could be attracted to a girl as pretty as Amelia. But you must understand her life is very different from ours. You are bound to have seen that this week.”

  “I did, but I also sense a spirit of adventure in her.” The memory of her shoeless feet at the reception brought a smile to his heart. Life with Amelia would be one of fun and surprises.

  Ma leaned over and grasped his hand. “Ben, it’s more complicated than that. Her parents have certain expectations for her and have many plans for her future.”

  “But you and Pa lived that life, and your parents were willing to let you and Aunt Clara go and have your own life. I just
know Amelia would love it on the ranch.” He could see her riding across the range with him now, her silken hair flowing behind her.

  Pa shook his head. “Her father is much more conservative than either of your grandparents. In addition, I have two brothers who went into business with my father, and a sister who married and stayed here. Your mother was the same, except she had three sisters who all married well. Amelia and Amanda are the Carlyles’ only children, and to have one of them move so far away would be unthinkable for them.”

  His father spoke the truth, but Ben could still dream and hope for Amelia’s love to be great enough for her to want to live in Kansas with him. “If it’s what Amelia wants, and she loves me, I don’t see how her parents could stand in the way of our happiness. I wondered if we could ask her parents to come out to Kansas for a visit, so they could see how good it would be to live there. Then maybe they wouldn’t object as much.”

  Ma pressed her lips together and covered her mouth with the handkerchief she held in her hand. She turned her gaze out through the window, but not before he noticed the glisten of moisture in her eyes. Why would his desires make her so sad?

  His father’s voice became deeper, a sure indication of his concern. “Ben, you have to be sensible. Consider all the consequences and ramifications of your actions. You have nothing to really offer Amelia now. When you turn twenty next year, you will get a share of our ranch where you can build a house for yourself, and you’ll find a girl in Kansas who will be only too happy to share it with you. That’s the life you will have to plan for your future.”

  Ben nodded without meeting his gaze, then rose and returned to his seat next to Billy. He’d expected opposition from Mr. and Mrs. Carlyle, but for it to come from his own parents rent his soul in two. Still, he would not be dissuaded. Only Amelia herself could stop him from pursuing her.

  Chapter 5

  Amelia breathed deeply and squared her shoulders before entering the dining room for breakfast. She had no desire to go through the social season and hoped to convince her parents that she didn’t need to do so. Most likely she would lose this argument, but she had to try.