Amelia's Journey

by Martha Rogers

  If only she could muster up the enthusiasm for such show as Mary Beth, who had talked about nothing else in the week since her family returned to Kansas. All the while Mary Beth talked about dresses to wear and whom she might meet, Amelia had been devising ways to get out of the entire ordeal.

  No good plan had materialized, so now she had to face her parents and let them know she didn’t really want to participate as one being presented. Attending wouldn’t be a problem, but the parading of herself as a young woman now eligible for marriage created a bitter taste.

  She pasted on a smile and entered the room. “Sorry, I’m late, Mama, Papa. My hair gave me fits this morning.” Not exactly the truth, but not a complete fabrication either for she had changed hairstyles twice.

  Papa eyed her with a smile. “You look lovely, my dear.”

  Mama didn’t say a word but searched Amelia’s face. For what, she wasn’t sure, but it had happened the past several mornings. It was almost as if Mama was trying to read Amelia’s mind.

  After bowing her head and saying a short prayer of thanksgiving, she spread her napkin across her lap. Maeleen set a plate with eggs and bacon on the table. Amelia thanked the servant and followed her departure back to the kitchen with interest. Now there was a young woman who would turn heads. Even her servant’s uniform could not hide her comely figure and attractive features. Amelia sighed and picked up her fork. Sometimes she believed she’d rather be a servant than a wealthy man’s daughter.

  Mama buttered her toast as she peered across at Amelia. “Don’t forget we are to go for a fitting for your presentation gown this afternoon. I believe Mrs. Haynes is bringing Mary Beth for hers at the same time.”

  Here was her opportunity to approach the subject of the cotillion. “Mama, do we have to have a presentation for me? Mary Beth could have it all to herself, and then we wouldn’t have to be concerned with the cost of so many dresses and parties for me.”

  If she had dropped a cannonball in the middle of the table, her mother’s expression could not have expressed more horror. Even Papa’s mouth skewed into a terrible frown. His forehead creased and his thick brown eyebrows formed a straight row across it. “Whatever gave you that ridiculous notion?” he said. “You’re seventeen and just graduated from Mrs. Harcourt’s finishing school. This is your season.”

  Mama’s hand gripped her napkin until the knuckles turned white. “Amelia Carlyle, I will not even consider such nonsense. You will go to each and every party given, and you will be presented with Mary Beth at the cotillion.”

  “But it’s such a waste of money.” No sooner had the words left her mouth than she wished them back.

  Mama blinked her eyes and pursed her mouth. “The dates are set, plans are made, and invitations ordered.”

  Papa pushed back from the table. “You will participate like the Carlyle you are, and I won’t hear any more from you about canceling. Understood?”

  “Yes, Papa.” Oh, she understood all right. The Carlyle name would be sullied if they backed out now. Anything to protect their precious reputation. Amelia pushed away her plate, her appetite gone.

  When he had left, Mama leaned toward Amelia. “My dear, I know you don’t really care for the social life like Amanda did, but this is what we do, and it’s what is expected of you. You’ll meet many nice young men who are all good prospects for marriage.”

  “Oh, Mama, don’t you see? It’s like I’m being paraded like cattle to auction for the men to assess and evaluate my worth.”

  Mama’s eyebrows raised and her eyes opened wide. “Wherever did you get such a ridiculous notion? What do you know about cattle auctions?”

  Heat rose in Amelia’s face as she regretted her choice of words. She mustn’t implicate Ben in any way. The less they knew about her feelings for him, the less likely they were to forbid a relationship. “I believe Mr. Haynes mentioned something about cattle auctions while they were here. He said they took herds to Kansas City where a price was determined by their size and appearance.”

  “I see.” She tilted her head. “It’s best you remove that idea from your mind and concentrate on all that lies ahead in the next month. We’re going to be quite busy, and I need your full cooperation.”

  “Yes, ma’am.” She laid her napkin on the table and stood. “I’ll be ready when it’s time to leave this afternoon.” Her sedate exit from the dining room became a mad dash up the stairs once out of her mother’s eyesight.

  She shoved the door of her room closed behind her and threw herself across the bed. It had already been made up, and she grabbed one of the lavender silk throw pillows and hugged it to her chest. So much for that little idea, but she had tried. When her father had that look she’d just seen on his face, no argument could change his mind.

  The next few months loomed ahead as a dark blot on the horizon of her life. If only she could just go about her daily routine of reading, practicing the piano, and taking care of volunteer duties at the church. She had no taste for the luncheons and other social events in which her mother was involved.

  In addition, all the other girls looked at the season as a time of competition for the most eligible men, and hurt feelings, jealousy, and resentment often resulted. She couldn’t forget some of the things said about Amanda behind her back when Charles Bishop had proposed.

  No matter what others had said, Amanda loved Charles with all her heart. She had confided in Amelia during those days when Charles courted her. Amanda dreamed of her life with Charles and the love they had. One only had to look at their faces when they were together to see that theirs was a love ordained by God. It spoke of purity, trust, loyalty, and faith not only in God but also in each other.

  That’s what Amelia wanted. God wouldn’t show her the man of her future at some fancy dress ball. She’d prayed about it often enough to know that God would give her the best young man for her. Perhaps, just perhaps, Ben Haynes was that young man. One thing for sure, he’d at least get an invitation to the cotillion from Mary Beth, whether he was able to come or not.

  Lenora glanced up from her writing when Isaac entered the bedroom and approached her. He placed his hands on her shoulders. “Dear, that little outburst of Amelia’s concerns me. She has a free spirit that doesn’t enjoy being bound by the duties of her station in life, but we can’t allow her to have free rein with her likes or dislikes.”

  “I know, and we had a little talk after you left. She compared the cotillion to being paraded in front of the men like cattle at an auction.” A tiny smile passed her lips. “I never thought of it like that, but we are presenting her to eligible young men to see if they might choose her for their bride.” Of course Isaac would never see it that way, but she had an inkling of how Amelia felt as she had experienced her own introduction to society.

  “That’s the way it’s done. And some of us are fortunate enough to find young women we truly love as I did with you and as Charles has done with Amanda.” He leaned over to kiss her cheek. “If nothing else, we know that our Amelia will keep us guessing, but I’m sure in the end she’ll find a young man who suits her tastes.”

  Lenora reached up to press his hand against her shoulder. “I do pray that will happen. She’s such a special young woman, and God is sure to have great plans for her in the days ahead. I only hope she’ll listen to what He tells her and not what she wants.” She anticipated many more talks with her self-willed daughter in the weeks ahead, but Amelia was a smart young woman, so perhaps it wouldn’t take long for her to settle into the routine expected of her.

  “Have faith. Everything will work out for the best.” He squeezed her hand. “Now, I must be getting about my business.”

  He left the room and headed downstairs. Lenora picked up her pen to continue with the invitations for a luncheon planned for several weeks from now. So many of her friends now had daughters the age of Amelia, and all of them looked forward to the coming season with much enthusiasm. Being around them and talking about what they would wear, who would be on
the dance cards, and who was the best hostess should help Amelia to be more excited about her role.

  Lenora’s thoughts clouded. She didn’t want to completely squelch Amelia’s spirit, but somehow it would have to be bridled in the weeks ahead, or they would all be in for a most trying social season.

  Ben stepped off the train, very happy to see the dark yellow and brown depot in Sweetwater Springs. Home at last. He breathed deeply only to start coughing from the soot in the air.

  Gideon laughed and slapped him on the back. “Wait until we get away from town before you start trying to breathe fresh air.”

  “Yeah, I have to remember that. I was just so glad to get off that stuffy train, and I’ll be even happier when I can change out of these clothes.” He reached up to remove his tie and unbutton the top two buttons of his shirt.

  “I can’t wait either. It’s too hot for so much clothing, but Ma insists we look halfway decent. Not that I see it matters any.” He followed Ben’s example and tugged off his tie.

  Ben waved toward the luggage piling up on the platform. “Let’s go get our things and help Pa get it loaded into the wagons.”

  The foreman of their ranch, Zeke Stone, and Steve Harris, another ranch hand, had brought two wagons to take the family the rest of the way to the ranch. Ben strode to the pile and picked up two bags and carried them to the first wagon. “I’m sure glad to see you. It would’ve been hard to wait for you in this heat.”

  Zeke removed his hat and wiped perspiration from his brow. “It’s a killer, that’s for sure, and here it is September.” He glanced around. “It’s good your pa had you wear your western hats. It’ll help shade your eyes against this sun.”

  Ben gazed up at the cloudless sky. From the looks of the dust covering everything around, rain was still badly needed. He removed his jacket and rolled up his sleeves. By the time he finished loading the wagon and sat Billy up on one of the bags, sweat drenched his back. Ma and Pa would drive one wagon with Zeke and Steve on the other one. He climbed up behind the ranch hands, and Gideon joined him. That left Grace Ann and Billy to ride with Ma and Pa.

  Getting back to Sweetwater Springs, Kansas, meant getting back to work as well, but Ben welcomed the diversion it would create. It would also put his mind to business rather than on one brown-haired girl with an independent spirit. A smile creased his face at the memory of her.

  Gideon leaned over and winked. “That smile isn’t for all the work we have to do. I bet it’s for one pretty girl named Amelia.”

  Ben’s cheeks burned. “And what if it is?”

  “Well, now, I say you’d better forget her. A fancy young woman like her isn’t going to fall for a cowboy like you.”

  “Oh? And why not? Ma came out here with Pa, and they’ve done very well.” That’s the hope he could cling to with all his heart. They had come and been happy, so maybe he and Amelia could do the same.

  “Ha! I don’t think Mrs. Carlyle is anything like Grandma Haynes is. Mrs. Carlyle is a snob.”

  “Gideon, that’s no way to speak of Mrs. Carlyle. If you can’t do better than that, then keep your words to yourself, and if you don’t, I’ll tell Ma.” Although the boy spoke some truth, he didn’t need to voice his opinion like that, and Ma would never stand for his criticism of her best friend.

  “I’m sorry. But I still think you’re wasting your time mooning over Amelia.”

  Wasting time or not, Ben couldn’t help but think about her and what it would be like to have her as his wife.

  When they arrived at the ranch house, Ben gazed out to the prairie before climbing down from the wagon. Someday, he and Amelia would have a home out there. He believed with all his heart that God would provide the way despite any opposition from his or her parents. No matter how long it took, he’d dream and plan until it happened.

  Chapter 6

  Amelia waited while Maeleen buttoned up the back of the blue and cream dress to be worn to the dinner tonight, the first of many parties to come. Amelia didn’t look forward to it with the enthusiasm her parents expected. However, out of respect for them, she would smile and enjoy the evening as much as she possibly could. Having Mary Beth along would help, but not enough.

  Maeleen stepped back. “Now, ye be all fastened up, and if ye don’t mind me saying so, ye be a beautiful lass. And a good time ye and Miss Haynes should be having, but I dunna see the spark in your eyes.”

  “You’re right. I don’t really want to go, but Mama and Papa expect it, so I’ll go and have an enjoyable evening for their sakes.” She pulled one curl over her shoulder and tilted her head to peer into the looking glass. No, that was coquettish. She shoved it back to her neck and patted the waves on the side. There, that was better.

  After Maeleen left, Amelia reached over for her letter box and removed Ben’s letter. Once again she devoured the words as he described arriving home and resuming his chores at the ranch. She let her hands drop to her lap and imagined Ben in his work clothes and on a horse. A smile played about her lips. What a grand picture that made.

  Mama stopped in the hallway by the door. “You look lovely, my dear. Now come, Papa has the carriage drawn around, and don’t forget your wrap. The evening air is cool, and we don’t want you to catch cold after the first dinner party and miss the season again.”

  Amelia hid the letter in the folds of her skirt. “Yes, Mama.” She waited until her mother left before stuffing the letter back into its box. She picked up the shawl matching her dress and shrugged. A lot of good it’d do if the air were truly cold, but she never again wanted to be as ill as she’d been last year. When Amelia stepped into the hall, Mama was already halfway down the staircase.

  Papa helped Amelia and Mama into the carriage. As Amelia smoothed her skirt so as not to wrinkle it during the ride, she remembered her afternoon with Ben a few weeks earlier. How she wished he could be her escort for the evening, but another young man, Stephen Armistead, would have that privilege tonight. At least Mrs. Killingsworth was known for her dinner parties and the food would be good. In addition, her daughter, Isabella Killingsworth, had been a good friend at school.

  They arrived at the Killingsworth home and alighted from the carriage. Papa grasped Mama’s elbow and ascended the short steps to the entry. Amelia followed close behind. The house windows glowed with gaslights throughout the rooms. The low hum of conversation filled the foyer as they stepped inside.

  Mrs. Killingsworth greeted them right away. “Mr. and Mrs. Carlyle, so nice to see you.” She nodded to Amelia. “Isabella and the other young people are waiting in the drawing room. Dinner will be served soon.”

  “Thank you. I’ll join them. If you’ll excuse me, Mama, Papa.” She left them talking with Mrs. Killingsworth and another guest.

  The drawing room had been cleared of all furniture except for chairs lining the walls. Floor-to-ceiling windows looked out onto a terrace that was lit with oil lamps and candles for strolling in the fresh air later. Space had been set aside for a stringed ensemble that would play for dancing after the dinner, and cloth-covered tables would hold punch and pastries to enjoy during that time.

  She headed for a group of young people at one end of the room. Isabella turned to greet her as she approached. “Amelia, my dear, come and join us.”

  Stephen stepped forward. “Ah, my lovely dinner partner has arrived.”

  Isabella handed her a dance card. “As you can see, Stephen has already claimed three numbers with you.”

  “Thank you, Isabella.” She smiled at Stephen. “It’s nice to see you, Stephen.”

  An arm encircled her waist. “I thought you’d never get here.” Mary Beth leaned close and whispered, “I don’t know anyone except Isabella, and I’ve only just met my escort.”

  Amelia hugged her friend. “Don’t worry. You’ll do fine.” She turned to Stephen. “Have you met Mary Beth Haynes from Kansas? She’s returned to Boston for the season and is staying with her grandparents.”

  “Yes, I’ve had the pleasure. I do h
ope you will save a dance or two for me later this evening, Miss Haynes.”

  A handsome young man with sandy hair and blue eyes stepped up. “After I’ve had my spots filled in, there may be one or two left for you, Armistead.” Andrew Farnsworth extended his hand. “Shall we, Miss Haynes? I believe dinner was just announced.”

  Amelia observed the exchange with delight. She desired for Mary Beth to find a proper young man here and perhaps even marry and stay in Boston. Either Stephen or Andrew would be perfect. She grasped Stephen’s elbow. “I’m looking forward to dinner and chatting with you.” She cringed inside because she wasn’t being completely truthful. The food yes, but sitting with Stephen, not really.

  They entered the opulent dining room where a crystal gas-lighted chandelier lent a golden glow to the surroundings and created a sparkle in the crystal and silver appointments. Mr. and Mrs. Killingsworth had spared no expense in entertaining for their daughter. Stephen held her chair until she was seated then slid it slightly forward.

  After the blessing of the meal, conversation flowed and course after course of delectable food appeared before the guests. Stephen spoke beside her, but nothing that needed her rapt attention. She replied when necessary and smiled. How tempted she was to slide off her shoes under the table, but Mama and Papa would be humiliated were she to be discovered. Pinched toes were all a part of being entertained during this season.

  Her mind wandered to Kansas and what Ben would be doing at this hour. No doubt he’d be having dinner with his family. She pictured him in his home with his parents and siblings. What a wonderful time they must have together.

  Envy invaded her heart for Mary Beth having brothers. Sometimes she wondered why her parents hadn’t had more children. She swallowed a sigh. If there had been more children, her parents wouldn’t have had to smother her so much.