The Monster Hunter's Manual

by Jessica Penot

  A light switched on in a room at the end of the hall and we all dropped to the cool ground. We tried to make ourselves invisible. We could hear footsteps coming closer and voices. My heart was pounding in my ears. I couldn’t breathe. I pulled Alex close to me. The footsteps came closer and I could hear the slayers talking. They were talking in English.

  “We should just kill the old lady,” a man said.

  “That’s not what Ms. Angerboda wants,” a woman responded. Her voice was cold. So cold, I shivered.

  “I don’t see the point in keeping her alive.”

  “It’s not your job to understand. You aren’t important. You do what you are told to do. You capture everything you can and not just the monsters. All of them. Ms. Angerboda particularly wants the mole people that live beneath the castle,” the woman said. “And she wants the girl, the ghost child.”

  The man seemed irritated by this. “Why? They are harmless.”

  “What did I tell you about asking questions?” The woman’s voice was so icy it sent chills down my spine.

  “I’ll do my best. The castle is well guarded. There is a line that we can’t cross. The old lady is powerful.”

  “Do your best. You are a resourceful man. Maybe you can find a way to lure them away from the castle…”

  The voices faded and the footsteps vanished. I realized I had been holding my breath and I summoned the courage to breath. Alex breathed in deeply to. It was only when the light went out and the footsteps completely disappeared that I found the courage to speak.

  “We have to get out of here,” I whispered.

  Eleanor appeared again and the darkness vanished with her. “I found him,” she said.

  We all followed her through an ocean of howling monsters to where Alex sat, weeping in a cage. I reached through the bars and took his hands. He smiled up at me. Everyone huddled around me and I put my arms around my little group of friends.

  “Chateau Larcher,” I said clearly, and before the words had even left my mouth, we were home. I exhaled. We were back and we were safe.

  Uno wrapped his arms around me. “Thank you.”

  “We would never leave you,” I said.

  The five of us climbed up to Eleanor’s room and sat on the floor with the book between us. I looked at Eleanor. “No more lies. What’s going on here?”

  “I shouldn’t tell,” Eleanor protested.

  “You have to. We have to know,” I said.

  Eleanor nodded and her light faded a little, as if her sorrow dimmed her very existence. “Every thousand years a new monster hunter is born. It is up to the old hunter to find the new hunter. When the new monster hunter comes of age and is fully trained, the old monster hunter will die. It is at that time that Angerboda will break free from her prison. The new monster hunter must fight and imprison her again or she will rule the world and monsters will take over the world. If they are working for Angerboda, something has gone wrong. She shouldn’t be able to influence the outside world. Aunt Perrine used powerful magic to bind her to the earth a thousand years ago. The magic shouldn’t be fading yet.”

  “So Aunt Perrine is a thousand years old?” Alex asked.

  “Older,” Eleanor said. “She’s been a hunter for a thousand years. She’s been alive for longer.”

  “Wow.”

  “She thinks one of you will be the next hunter. So do the molemen.”

  Alex looked at me with envy. He knew that they had given me the amulet because they thought I would be the hunter. I saw his look. He wanted to be a hunter too. I clutched the amulet. I could already see it dividing us.

  “Only one of us?” I asked.

  “Only one of you.”

  “If she’s a hunter, why does she keep so many monsters?” Alex asked with a hint of bitterness.

  Eleanor threw up her hands in frustration. “Because, the monster hunter is more than a killer. She’s not a slayer. It is her job to keep balance, to protect the innocent no matter who they are. In the old days, in the Dark Ages, there were monsters everywhere. People lived in fear because the last hunter didn’t do his job, but Aunt Perrine changed that, she knows the balance. She’s made her mistakes, but she keeps the world safe.”

  Uno looked confused. “How do you know all this?”

  Eleanor hesitated. She was afraid to say what she needed to say. I smiled at her and she smiled back. “I’m her daughter.”

  We were all silent for a moment. Eleanor’s light faded and shadow passed over the room. I could hardly see her face. Her glow was a pale blue in the moonlight.

  “When we were alone in that room,” Roger asked. “We heard some people talking about a Ms. Angerboda. Could that be Angerboda?”

  “No. It hasn’t been a thousand years yet,” Eleanor said. “She shouldn’t be free yet.”

  “The old ones said that too,” I said. “They said Angerboda walks again.”

  No one answered me. There was only silence.

  “We need to tell Aunt Perrine about this,” I continued. “This is important.”

  “She’ll be mad,” Roger said.

  “Who cares? She needs to know.”

  Everyone followed me back into the house. I hesitated before I knocked on her door. My knock was met by silence. I knocked again and the door opened. Aunt Perrine came out in her long bathrobe. She turned on the light and invited us in.

  “Please sit,” she said.

  We all found places to sit amidst the army of cats that covered her bed and sofa. Aunt Perrine sat down in a large armchair and studied our faces. In that light, surrounded by her cats, she looked almost fearsome and I couldn’t summon the courage to talk. “So,” she said. “You all ’ave gotten into to trouble again. Twice in one night?”

  I nodded. “We need to tell you something.”

  “Yes.”

  “We took your book.” I handed it back to her. She took the book and looked at me with an almost angry expression.

  “And?” she said.

  Alex stood up. “The slayers took Uno and we all went to save him and we heard some people saying that Ms. Angerboda wants to catch the molemen and Eleanor.” He blurted the words out so fast I almost didn’t understand him. He sat back down.

  “And,” Eleanor added, “the old ones said that Angerboda walks again.”

  Aunt Perrine was quiet. She leaned back in her chair and stroked the small tabby cat that had curled up on her lap.

  “So zis is all?” she asked after a while.

  “Yes,” we all answered in unison.

  “Well,” she said calmly. “I’ll take care of it.”

  She picked up a bowl of candies and handed one to everyone but Eleanor. We each took one and put it in our mouths. Just like my first night at the castle, I found myself overwhelmed by the desire to sleep.

  “Now off to bed,” Aunt Perrine ordered. We all listened except Eleanor who curled up in her mother’s bed. I climbed the stairs and fell into my bed. Alex collapsed next to me.

  “Can I sleep with you?”

  “Yes,” I said, and I drifted off into a deep, dreamless sleep.

  Chapter 9

  The Old Cathedral

  We all slept late and Roger and Uno slept through the day. When Alex and I woke, Aunt Perrine made us a brunch of different kinds of crepe filled with everything imaginable. It was like the night before had never happened. Aunt Perrine didn’t mention it. She hummed happily, as she always did, and set us down to practice our French.

  In the afternoon, she took us into the village and introduced us to our neighbors. We met a nice lady and her two little girls, an old farmer who lived mostly with his pigs, a heavy lady who was the school teacher, a priest, the lady who owned the local creperie, and an artist. Of course, we couldn’t talk to any of them because we still didn’t speak French, but that didn’t stop any of them from talking to us in rapid French like we should understand them.

  We went to the boulangerie to get bread and pastries stuffed with meat and ham and to the patis
serie to get sweet pastries and tarts. For dinner, we ate at the creperie. Aunt Perrine bought us each a little knight from the toy store and some new shirts. By the end of the day, we were tired and had almost forgotten all the adventures of the night.

  We didn’t talk about what happened, we just enjoyed being out and part of the village. I listened to the French and tried to understand as much as I could and Alex tried to communicate with the village children by grunting at them and poking them. The children may not have understood him, but he certainly made them laugh.

  Evening came quickly and we were both more than happy to go to bed early. As usual, Aunt Perrine came upstairs and sat on Alex’s bed. I lay down next to him and she told us a story.

  “Once upon a time,” she began. For the first time, I realized her accent faded when she told stories and her English became clear and crisp, as if she was born to it.

  “There was a poor serf. Do you know what a serf is?”

  Alex shook his head.

  “In the Middle Ages, they were the poor people that were bound to the land and almost slaves to the lords of castles like this one. So, there was a poor serf girl. The girl was no prettier than any other and she wasn’t a hard worker so her poor parents thought that she was doomed to be a spinster with no dowry. The girl had nothing, but one day, a Peluda came to the village. A Peluda is a horrible dragon with a porcupine-like body and a mess of hair-like projections hanging from its body that are covered in poison. He could launch these at will, killing the person who had been shot. The Peluda terrorized the village for over a year and the people sought help from the lord of the land. The sought him because it was said that he was the keeper of the old magic and that he would know what to do.

  “But the lord was old and he was not strong enough to defeat the Peluda himself. So the lord of the land decided to make a sacrifice to the Peluda. He would offer it a young girl and since the poor serf girl had no money, prospects or particular beauty, she was chosen to be given to the monster.

  “Now the girl was terrified, but she was also quite clever and she knew the secret ways of magic, so the night before she was to be given to the beast, she went into the woods and found the old ones. She begged for their help and since she had always honored them and kept their shrines, they helped her.

  “The old ones gave the girl three rings and said she must rub them in times of need.

  “The next day the lord of the land ordered the girl to be dressed in rich velvet and fine jewels and had her tied to a tree for the Peluda. The Peluda came and carried her away to his cave.

  “‘I would like to eat you,’ the Peluda said. ‘For I am very hungry.’

  “‘Let me sing to you first,’ the girl said. And the girl had a lovely voice and the Peluda smiled as she sang to him. He became comfortable and while she sang the girl rubbed the first ring.

  “The Peluda cried out, for it had become blind. Enraged, it shot its arrows blindly into the cave and sought the girl out, but the girl was not afraid and she rubbed the second ring. This ring made the Peluda deaf and the Peluda fell to its knees and wept. When the girl rubbed the third ring, it became a sword. It was common knowledge in those days that Peluda’s only vulnerable spot was his tail, and the girl cut off his tail, killing the beast.”

  “The girl was celebrated as a hero and the lord called her to the castle. The lord was a wise man who was known throughout the kingdom for his justice and virtue. He took the girl aside and gave her two choices. He said she had earned a great prize. He said he would give her great wealth and land that she and her family could keep as her own. She would never want for anything again or she could choose to marry his son, the heir to his land and fiefdom. His son was a bit of a dimwit and she would have to rule for him, but she would inherit the lord’s strength and power and a book of magic that contained all the secrets of all the monsters in the world. She would be given the power to protect the kingdom from monsters, as he had once done in his youth.”

  “What do you think the girl chose,” Aunt Perrine asked me.

  “She chose the magic,” I said.

  “Yes. She chose the magic, because although the girl seemed plain, she had a warrior’s heart and sometimes it doesn’t matter at all what something seems to be, only what it is. The lord knew this and that is why, when the lord died, the girl ruled over all vast lands and inherited all his wisdom and power.”

  For once, Alex had listened. He had sat up and really listened.

  “Do you like my story?” Aunt Perrine asked.

  “It’s my favorite so far,” I answered.

  “Mine too,” she said. “It is time to sleep now, little princes, and dream of magic castles and secret caverns.”

  We both nodded and went to sleep. We ignored the rattling and bumping from the attic. It’s funny how something that once seemed so scary can become kind of reassuring. It was nice to think that Roger and Uno were upstairs rattling around. It made the old castle seem more like a home, filled with people you liked. I slept better that night than any other night since I had left America.

  In the morning, Alex went out with Roger. Roger said he knew these gnomes who lived in an enchanted forest. He said that the gnomes could find mushrooms that would make you taller and shorter. Alex, like a boy reading Alice in Wonderland, was completely fascinated.

  I let Alex go. I stayed and studied French with Aunt Perrine. She sat with me, helped me with my work, and spoke to me in words I could understand.

  Alex told me I was crazy to spend my day with an old lady when I could be finding gnomes with a walking skeleton, but I knew that I had chosen more wisely. I had seen Aunt Perrine fight the slayers. I knew that if I really ever wanted to be the monster hunter, I should stay close to her. And from the first moment I knew there were monster hunters, I knew I wanted to be one.

  Alex came back for lunch and we all ate outside.

  “You should stay and practice your French,” Aunt Perrine said to him patiently.

  “Roger says we can go back to the gnomes this afternoon. You would like them Gabriel,” Alex said. “They live in little cities in mushroom houses and have crickets for pets, like dogs.”

  I shook my head. “You can show me some other time. I want to stay with Aunt Perrine.”

  “Come on,” Alex begged. “You’d really like it. They make honey wine and candied grapes.”

  “You have Roger,” I said.

  “Yeah,” Alex said in a forlorn voice.

  After lunch, Alex ran off into the woods with Roger and I sat at the table with Aunt Perrine.

  “Do you really want to work all day?” she asked.

  I shook my head.

  “Would you like me to show you the most magical place in the castle?”

  I nodded and smiled broadly.

  She took my hand and we walked out of our little house and into the courtyard. It was a quiet afternoon. There was no sound in the courtyard except the rustling of leaves and the purring of sleeping cats.

  We walked slowly across the courtyard to the great church, Aunt Perrine unlocked the doors and we walked in. The church was stunning. The ceilings were so high they seemed to float above me and were supported by a series of long slender columns that had reliefs of monsters and dragons chasing people. Some of the monsters were even eating people. The monsters decorated every column, every corner. They were everywhere and the engravings had been painted in bright reds and yellows so the monsters seemed to leap off the walls. Along the top of the columns, above the monsters, there were engravings of saints and angels and Jesus and Mary as if to say those things were somehow above those of us who lived below, with the monsters.

  The walls were made of stone, stacked up and smoothed over. There weren’t many windows and the ones there were seemed not to fit. They seemed wrong in the ancient church.

  “The church was built first,” Aunt Perrine said. “It was built in the year 900, when most of the land was still building with wood. They built it here because this place
was and had always been sacred. The Romans built here, the Celts, everyone. It wasn’t until a hundred years later that they tore down the wood fortress and built the church into the stone castle.”

  “Why would they have all these horrible pictures in a church?” I asked.

  “All the really old churches have them,” Aunt Perrine said. “The one at Chauvigny has the same pictures. I think that’s just the way life was back then. People lived in constant fear. There were monsters everywhere. The monsters didn’t have to hide. They roamed the hills and hunted in villages. It’s better now and most people have forgotten that there ever were monsters, but these churches serve to remind us of the way things were.”

  “Why do the windows look so weird?”

  “All the original stained glass was blown out in the Second World War. These are just cheap copies. It happened to many of them, all over the Loire Valley.”

  “Aunt Perrine?” I asked.

  “Yes,” she said.

  “Can I help you?”

  “With what?”

  “I want to be the next monster hunter,” I said. “I want to learn from you.”

  Aunt Perrine only smiled the smile that adults smile when they don’t want to answer your questions. “Let’s light candles for your parents.”

  We went to the knave of the church and lit two candles. Aunt Perrine knelt in front of the candles and she said two prayers, one for my mom and one for my dad. The church bells above us struck three and the priest came in to prepare for a service.

  “It’s still used?” I asked.

  “Oh yes,” she answered. “In a few hours zis place will be filled with people.”

  “Why is this place the most magic place in the castle?” I asked.

  She put her hand on my shoulder and closed her eyes. The stained glass bathed her in an eerie blue light.

  “Can’t you feel it,” she said.

  I shook my head.