The Leaving of Liverpool

by Lyn Andrews

  ‘Then they should do! I don’t want to go back there with you. My nose was broken and you knocked out some of my teeth!’

  He looked away. For the hundredth time that day he wished he’d never laid a finger on her. He wished he’d never even set eyes on her.

  ‘Emily says you can’t stay here. Our Jack and Jimmy won’t have you.’

  ‘Then we’ll have to go back to Florist Street, won’t we? You’re my wife. You were quick enough to get me to the altar and spend my money, so now you can look after me. “In sickness an’ in health”,’ he mocked.

  Phoebe-Ann knew there was no other course open to her. She forced herself to think of practical matters. ‘What will we do for money? Will the Parish give us anything?’

  That was something Jake hadn’t even thought of and it added to his humiliations. Jake Malone on the Parish! ‘Don’t you think I’ve got enough to put up with without bein’ on the Parish? You can work.’

  ‘How can I work and look after you at the same time?’ she demanded hotly.

  ‘I don’t know but we’re not going on the Parish!’

  ‘We’ll have to move. The rent is too dear and, besides, I won’t be able to get you up the stairs, not on my own,’ she added curtly. She didn’t care if she was being cruel. He had no right to demand anything of her.

  ‘Then you’ll have to go out and look for rooms, won’t you?’

  Tears were threatening to overwhelm Phoebe-Ann. She’d thought life was as bad as it could be, now she knew different. She’d have to spend the rest of her life in some drab rooms, always short of money, always working and always having to look after him. Her stomach churned when she thought of the things she would have to do for him. Wash him, dress him, change his soiled and stinking linen. Oh, she couldn’t even think about that!

  Emily helped her to get him back to Florist Street and as she’d unpacked her things, straightened up the place and made them a meal, Phoebe-Ann began to realize just how much work was involved in looking after him. The fact that Jake burned with resentment and frustration was lost on her. All she did was complain about her woes: that she wasn’t strong enough to be dragging him on and off the sofa or in and out of the chair; that her head ached from the stuffy atmosphere, laden with unpleasant odours; that her hands were chapped and raw with so much washing and scrubbing. In those first weeks they did nothing but yell at each other and Phoebe-Ann often thought of Rhys and bemoaned aloud the fact that she would have been far happier had she married him. A fact that infuriated Jake even more.

  As usual it was to Emily that she turned. ‘We’ll have to move and where am I going to find a job that will leave me time to see to him as well?’

  ‘You need some rooms on the ground floor, something not too expensive, but with a wash-house or the use of a wash-house. You can’t take his stuff to the bag-wash. You could bring it here if you had to but that would mean you living nearby and I don’t know of anyone who has rooms to let.’

  ‘Even if I found some, how would I pay for them?’

  ‘I could go and see Miss Millicent and Miss Nesta.’

  The thought of once again being surrounded by beautiful things, in a clean house that didn’t smell of carbolic, Jeyes Fluid and worse odours, made Phoebe-Ann look hopefully at her sister. ‘Would you, Em? Would you explain?’

  Emily smiled. ‘I’ll go and see them. It will be a start.’ She wondered if Phoebe-Ann would ever stop relying on her. Probably not, but at least she was being positive about things now.

  The house looked exactly the same, she thought as she knocked. The door was opened by a young girl whose hair was untidy and whose apron was grubby.

  ‘I would like to see the Misses Barlow, please.’

  ‘What’s your name?’

  ‘Emily Parkinson.’

  The girl nodded, indicated that she should go in and then disappeared in the direction of the drawing room, to return and state ‘You’re to come in.’

  Emily thanked her, thinking there was not much finesse about her.

  ‘Emily! Dear Emily!’ Miss Nesta cried.

  ‘Thank you for seeing me, miss.’ She smiled at Miss Millicent.

  ‘How are you, Emily? How are things at home?’ Miss Millicent asked.

  ‘I’m fine, miss, thank you. But I’ve come to ask a favour of you.’

  ‘Sit down,’ Miss Nesta instructed.

  ‘Thank you, miss, but I’d sooner stand. It doesn’t seem right.’

  Miss Millicent nodded approvingly. ‘You always had such impeccable manners, Emily. Which is more than can be said for that little chit. I don’t know what domestic staff are coming to these days or where Richard finds them. Highly unsuitable all of them.’

  ‘It’s about work that I’ve come.’

  Miss Nesta clapped her hands together. ‘Emily, you’re coming back to us! Isn’t that wonderful, Millie?’

  ‘No. No, miss. I’m sorry, but I wasn’t asking for myself.’

  They both looked disappointed.

  ‘It’s for my sister. Phoebe-Ann was Miss Olivia’s maid, before she was married.’

  ‘But she’s married, so why does she want to work here?’ Miss Nesta enquired.

  ‘Didn’t I hear that there was some trouble? Didn’t he turn out to be a dreadful person?’ Miss Millicent quizzed Emily.

  She nodded. ‘He did. He beat her badly.’

  ‘Oh, the beast!’ Miss Nesta cried.

  ‘Quite. Has she left him?’ Miss Millicent asked dryly.

  ‘No. You see he is now crippled. He can’t walk or stand or do anything for himself, so she needs to work to keep the house going. But she also needs a job where it will be possible for her to go home in the day to see to him. A job that will be near so she won’t have to waste time travelling.’

  ‘I see. How dreadful for her. Do sit down Emily, you are giving me a crick in my neck looking up at you. Never mind the proprieties.’

  Emily sat on the edge of the chair Miss Millicent indicated.

  ‘If she worked for Richard Mercer then she will be suitable, no doubt about that, and we do live near and, of course, we would have no objections to her slipping home. But I’m afraid we can’t pay her very much. Not as much as she would get in a factory or shop.’

  ‘She knows that, but she couldn’t possibly work in a shop or a factory, they’d never let her take time off. She’ll just have to manage.’

  ‘Won’t she get any help from the Parish or whatever charitable organization sees to these cases?’

  ‘She’s got her pride, Miss Millicent. I’ve told her I can let her have a bit now and then, to help out.’

  ‘You always were such a kind girl, Emily. Well, it’s settled then. Tell her to come and see us.’

  Emily rose and smiled at them both. ‘Thank you. You’re so good and kind. I knew you’d help, if you were able to.’

  ‘And what about your young man, Emily? How is he?’

  ‘Quite well, thank you.’

  ‘Haven’t you set a date for the wedding yet?’ Miss Nesta enquired

  ‘Nesta! What a thing to ask. It’s none of our business. You’ve been associating too much with the dreadful girls Richard keeps sending us.’

  ‘I don’t mind, miss. It’s difficult you see. He won’t move in with us and I don’t blame him. We’d not have much privacy. Albert . . . Mr Davies, is not himself at all.’

  ‘Such a shame,’ Miss Nesta murmured.

  ‘Don’t interrupt, Nesta.’

  ‘And I won’t leave him. He was so good to me after . . . after I left Mr Mercer’s employ. His nephew, Rhys, begged him to go and live with his mother, back in Wales, but he wouldn’t go. So, you see, it’s difficult.’

  ‘How upsetting for you, and now your sister is burdened with this dreadful man. His mother has the most awful reputation, so Sally, the last girl we had, told me.’

  ‘I’d better be going and thank you so much for being so understanding.’

  ‘We did say that you were to come to see us
if you needed anything, Emily.’

  Emily smiled at Miss Millicent, thankful they had at least taken one burden from her. All she had to do now was find Phoebe-Ann some decent rooms.

  As she walked back to Lonsdale Street she wondered if she would ever be free of all the demands made on her. Would she ever marry Edwin and have a place of her own, a life of her own without having to shoulder everyone’s troubles? But when she examined the situation closely, she realized sadly, as she had often done before, that Phoebe-Ann was to blame for all the misfortunes that had overtaken them.

  Chapter Twenty-one

  PHOEBE-ANN MANAGED TO FIND rooms in a house in Liffy Street. They were clean, which is all that could be said of them, she told Emily sourly.

  ‘What more did you expect for the money? As long as they aren’t crawling with bugs or riddled with damp, that’s the main thing. You’ve got some lovely furniture and things. They will look nice when you’ve fixed them up.’

  ‘I can’t take all my things. There is only one bedroom and a big living room that I have to use to cook in as well.’

  ‘Is there a range?’

  ‘Yes, but there’s no inside privy. Some of those houses have them.’

  ‘We’ve never had an inside privy! Even fourteen Florist Street didn’t have that luxury, Phoebe-Ann!’

  ‘There’s no wash-house either. Just a line in the backyard.’

  ‘Then you’ll have to bring the washing here and maybe our Jimmy will fix up a rack in the living room for you, like mine.’

  ‘You don’t have all the stuff I have to wash, and after I’ve done a day’s work at Princes Avenue too.’

  Emily had looked at her sister with annoyance. She was always complaining these days. All the softness had gone from her face, and lines were forming on her forehead and at the corners of her mouth, for she never smiled now. Emily sighed. Phoebe-Ann didn’t have much to smile about so she shouldn’t be hard and impatient with her.

  ‘If I give you some money you can buy new sheets and towels and use all the old ones for him. That way you won’t have to wash every day. You can just put them in to soak.’

  Phoebe-Ann looked grateful. ‘I don’t know what I’d do without you, Em. Not many girls have sisters who are so good or so patient.’

  Emily laughed. ‘Is my halo slipping?’

  It was that very night, after Phoebe-Ann had gone, that Jack and Jimmy announced that they had finally saved up enough money to emigrate.

  Although she was glad for them, Emily felt as though she’d been physically struck. Only now did she realize how much she depended on them. Oh, Albert was working again, not as much as he used to and usually only mornings, but it brought in enough money so they’d been able to manage. It wasn’t just their money she’d miss though, it was their company and their support.

  ‘It’s taken you long enough to save up so I shouldn’t feel so miserable. It’s not as if you’ve just dropped it on me out of the blue. Oh, but I’ll miss you both.’

  ‘We’ve thought about it for a long time, even before Mam died, and we have been ages saving up, you know that, Em,’ Jack reminded her.

  ‘I know and I know there’s not much in the way of prospects here. So, when will you go?’ she asked.

  ‘We went down to the shipping office today. The Aquitania is the first ship available. We’ll be going next weekend. I know it’s a bit short notice, but maybe it’s better like that and we’ll be going from Southampton.’

  ‘Oh, I’d forgotten that. I wish you were going from Liverpool. We could wave you off but I don’t think we can afford to go to Southampton.’

  Jimmy put his arm around her. ‘It would be a bit of a wasted journey and, besides, you’d be miserable all the way back.’

  ‘What will you do when you get there?’ Albert asked, looking at them sorrowfully. He’d become very fond of them both.

  ‘Get somewhere to live to start with, then get a job.’

  ‘There’s some very rough neighbourhoods.’

  ‘There are in every city, Albert,’ Jack replied. ‘But do you remember Blanco Kimnel who lived down Lowther Street? He went out about five years ago and he’s doing great now. His mam gave me his address and said to look him up, that he’d help us find work. He sends her a “fistful of dollars” each month, to use her words.’

  ‘That’s a relief. I won’t worry so much about you now,’ Emily said. ‘I suppose I’d better start and get all your stuff together. Don’t you need papers and things?’

  ‘Aye, we’ll have to sort all that out this week. At least we won’t have time to go getting cold feet,’ Jimmy answered.

  No-one had much time to think about their forthcoming departure. Emily was kept busy washing, ironing and packing while Jack and Jimmy sorted out all the red tape. Albert watched them sadly, thinking yet another part of his life was ending. They’d become the sons he’d never had and they’d been companions as well.

  ‘I wish I was going with them. I’d give anything to just sail away from everything and everyone and start a new life,’ Phoebe-Ann sighed. She’d come round to go to Lime Street station with them.

  ‘Don’t you think I’ve wished that too, except that I wouldn’t want to go without Edwin.’

  ‘You? I thought you were happy here, Em?’

  ‘I’m not really complaining, but it would be nice just to sail away with Edwin. No more worries, no more responsibilities.’

  ‘At least Edwin’s not crippled. There’s nothing in the future for me to look forward to.’

  Emily was sorry she’d spoken and she hoped Phoebe-Ann wasn’t going to break down at the station, because she knew if she did, then she would too and that would upset her brothers.

  Before they left the house Emily brought out a bottle of whisky and all the men had a small glassful. They all had misty eyes, too. She’d surreptitiously tucked a five pound note into Jack’s pocket, some of the money Miss Nesta had given her. He’d protested but she’d been adamant. ‘I’ve nothing else to give you. It’s my going away present. Take it.’ They’d both kissed her and she had swallowed hard, fighting back the tears.

  There was the usual crush at the station: people waiting for trains to arrive, others waiting to board, all anxiously glancing up at the clock. They all wore their best clothes, for it was a special occasion. Despite this, Phoebe-Ann looked dowdy and untidy and Emily looked at her sadly, thinking how smart and pretty she’d always been, and she wondered if her brothers were thinking the same thing. If they were they gave no sign of it as they hugged them both. They then shook Albert’s hand and Edwin’s. He’d been granted extra leave as his Aunt Sarah had died.

  ‘Just don’t forget to put pen to paper once in a while,’ Emily instructed them.

  ‘It won’t be that often, Em. You know we were never much good at letter writing.’

  ‘Don’t you dare lose touch, Jack Parkinson. Don’t go disappearing off the face of the earth or I’ll come and find you.’

  ‘Don’t worry about them, Emily. I’ll look them up each shore leave.’ Edwin laughed and was rewarded by a smile of gratitude from Emily.

  ‘Now see what you’ve gone and done. He’ll be spying on us and reporting back,’ Jimmy joked.

  They all laughed but for them all the tears were very close to the surface.

  ‘I wish I were coming with you,’ Phoebe-Ann said miserably.

  ‘So do I, but there’s no use dwelling on things.’ Jack hugged her and she clung to him until Emily gently prised her away.

  ‘Better get aboard. I think I heard the last call.’ Edwin called their attention to the fact that the train was preparing to leave.

  Emily clung to them both, tears in her eyes. She’d probably never see them again, she thought. ‘Take care of yourselves and good luck,’ she whispered.

  ‘We’ll send for you all when we make our first million,’ Jimmy joked.

  The little group stood huddled together watching as the two men walked quickly down the platform. They turned
and waved before they got aboard and then they leaned out of the window, waving until they were lost in the clouds of steam as the train pulled out.

  I’ll always remember them like that, smiling and waving, Emily thought. Just as she remembered Harry and Rob, proud and smiling in their uniforms.

  They were all downcast as they turned to leave, but Phoebe-Ann was more forlorn than anyone else. It was as if her youth, her dreams and her happiness were disappearing in that cloud of steam. She didn’t want to go back to Liffy Street, back to him, back to that stinking mess that even now made her retch at times. So she seized eagerly on Edwin’s offer of a drink before they went home. They all needed cheering up, he said.

  As Emily linked her arm through his, he looked down at her. ‘If only . . .’

  ‘I know, but don’t say it or he’ll be upset if he hears you and think he’s being a burden, which he isn’t.’

  He sighed. ‘Oh, Emily, how much longer?’

  ‘I don’t know, but something will turn up, you see.’

  Whenever she could manage it, Phoebe-Ann went round to spend half an hour with Alice. It was the only break she got from Jake or work. He had been openly hostile to the idea but she’d ignored his protests.

  ‘Why don’t you come out with us one night? No-one could object to you having a few hours’ enjoyment,’ Alice suggested.

  ‘I couldn’t. Even if he didn’t make such a song and dance about it, I couldn’t afford it.’

  ‘Ginny and me will treat you.’

  Phoebe-Ann thought of the days when Jake had been at sea and she’d had her job at the B&A. She’d had money then. Money of her own to spend how she wished. It was a bitter, depressing fact that now she never even had a few shillings to spend on herself. ‘No, that wouldn’t be fair.’

  ‘What if I paid one week, Ginny the next and you the third week, that’s fair? You could save up a few coppers each week that way. You need cheering up, Phoebe-Ann. God, I don’t know why you haven’t gone round the bend yet, stuck with him and the only break you get is going to work.’