by Eric Vall
“What does that have to do with anything?” I asked aloud.
“Because he was assassinated by a political opponent … ” the imp argued, but none of us were following. “I was originally going to say JFK, but I thought that’d be too dark so … you know what? The joke is dead, Jakey! Let’s just move on and pretend it never happened, bro.”
“Gladly,” I sighed.
I closed my eyes and rubbed my brow as my head began to throb. I wasn’t one to get headaches too often, but this whole situation was frustrating beyond belief.
Beelzebub and Baphomet were already allied against me, and the only thing standing between me and their army was the downright indifference of the Kings of the Sixth and Seventh Circles. Surely, those two assholes could eventually find a workaround, and they’d be at my backdoor in no time flat.
Meanwhile, what was I doing? I was going to have to go out on the fucking campaign trail.
I let out another deep sigh, turned around, and headed toward the staircase.
“Where are you going, Jacob?” Sia asked curiously.
“I … I’ve got a splitting headache,” I explained. “I don’t know if it’s from all the blows I took from Tannin, or if it’s just all the stress. I’m just gonna go lay down for a minute, but you guys stay here and see if you can come up with any ideas on how the fuck we’re going to make this work.”
“Sure thing, my love,” Cupi purred as she gave me a sultry look. “Have a good rest.”
I turned away and wandered up the stairs as quickly as I could. When I got to the second story, I passed by Tristitia laying on the couch, watching some old footage of my fight with the Archangel Uriel. We gave each other a “sup” nod, and then I continued on my way. When I passed by Invidia’s closed door, I heard the distinct sound of All-American Rejects blaring on the other side.
I finally made it to my bedchambers and was overtaken by a rush of exhaustion as I entered through the massive wooden door. I’d let Libidine handle all the interior design of the room, and the succubus didn’t disappoint.
Our “bed” consisted of two california kings pushed together to form the illusion of one large mattress. Even though the succubi all had their own quarters, most of the time they ended up sleeping in my bed at the end of the night. The only exceptions were Vidia, who liked to keep to herself, and Tris, who almost always passed out on the couch long after the rest of us went to bed.
We’d commissioned a few of the Shades to build us a canopy bed frame out of whatever wood they could find, and the results were incredible. I had no idea what kind of fucking trees they had down here in Hell, but the entire frame was constructed out of a dark red wood, almost like mahogany. Whatever it was must have been extremely sturdy, as well. We’d made love on this bed too many times to count, and it never even so much as rocked.
There were white sheer curtains draped across the poles of the frame, a perfect compliment to the satin purple sheets that sat atop the mattress. Libidine had originally wanted to go with white sheets, but we all knew better than that.
The rest of the room was fairly subtle. Against the far wall sat a wooden dresser to hold socks, underwear, and any small knick knacks I might scavenge on our adventures, and just above that was a circular window that let in the brisk breeze of the outside world. A few feet away from the dresser sat two large wardrobes, one for myself and the other for the succubi. Most of their clothing was fairly skimpy, so it was able to all fit into one wardrobe.
On the opposite side of the bed was a small loveseat carved out of some sort of ivory or bone. It was one of the few leftovers from Azazel’s reign, but it looked way too badass to just throw away. Completing the room was a large, silver chandelier that hung from the very center of the ceiling and illuminated the darkness with candles aglow with red Hellfire.
It may not have been much, but it was our room.
I yanked off my shirt and pants, tossed them into a pile near the dresser, and dragged myself over to the shower for a quick rinse. When I was done less than five minutes later, I flopped down into the comfy embrace of the bed. The sheets felt incredible against my still-aching body, and the pillows surrounded my head as if they were made out of pure clouds. I closed my eyes and felt myself starting to drift off to sleep.
Then I heard the knocking.
At first, I tried to ignore the pounding on the door. I rolled to the side, forced the pillow around my ears, and tried to get comfy once more.
But the noise kept getting louder and louder.
I rolled out of bed, walked over to the entrance, and wrapped my hand around the large black knob. Then I gave it a twist and flung the door open in a huff.
“What’s going on?” I demanded. “Did you--”
It was Eligor.
Her bright blue eyes shined back at me for a moment, and then they slowly began to wander around my scantily-clad figure.
“I was just uh … ” the knight mused, obviously distracted. “I just wanted to come up and apologize. I know the news I brought you wasn’t exactly great and it caused more problems than it did solutions. I just … I didn’t want to leave on bad terms.”
“Leave?” I questioned. “You just got here.”
“I know,” the knight sighed. “My duty was to deliver Lilith’s message, and that task is completed. I’m going to be heading out soon, but I wanted to come and apologize first.”
“Why don’t you stay?” I blurted out before my brain could process what I was thinking. “It’s, uh … it’s a long haul back to, uh … wherever you’re going.”
Eligor quirked an eyebrow and crossed her arms over her chest.
“You don’t even know where I’m headed to, do you?” She smirked. “You have no idea where Lilith lives.”
“What can I say?” I conceded. “I may be a King of the Fourth Circle, but I’m still a rookie at this whole ‘Heaven vs. Hell’ thing. At least, compared to the guys who’ve been around for thousands of years I am.”
“I’d say you’ve done pretty good for yourself so far,” the blonde woman retorted with a gleam in her deep blue eyes. “Maybe you just need an advisor to help get you up to speed?”
“Maybe an advisor who has ties to the second-highest ranking demon in the Chain of Being?” I asked not-so-subtly. “One who has incredible knowledge of how things work down here, and who could play the political game for me? Someone like that would be great, but I don’t even know where we’d ever find them … ”
Eligor rolled her eyes.
“You know I can’t do that,” she sighed. “As much as I’d love to be your representative and help you get the other Demon Lords on your side, I’m too well-known in this world. They would see me and automatically assume it meant one of two things. Either A, Lilith has devoted herself to your cause, and that would mean very bad things for her. Or B, I’ve betrayed Lilith’s wishes and committed an act of open treason against my mistress. That ends with my head on a spike on her trophy wall.”
“Then what about just the advisor part?” I was now nearly pleading. “The succubi are fabulous, but their knowledge is limited to what they’ve heard second hand, or from what little bit of freedom Azazel and Earl let them have. You know just about everything there is to know about the inner workings of Hell.”
“And what would that look like, even?” the knight pushed. “Would I be staying here most of the time? How would I split my time with Lilith?”
“If Lilith really is as enamored with me as you claim she is, then she doesn’t really have much of a choice,” I answered. “She’s not going to blow the whistle on you, because then her secret would be out. And that would lead to some very bad things for her, right?”
“I suppose that’s correct,” Eligor mused. “I guess I’ve never seen it that way before.”
“So then stay,” I asked again. “You can still serve Lilith, but first, we can figure out a solution to this whole mess together.”
“Together?” the knight purred as a smile crept up he
r lips. “What exactly do you mean by ‘together?’”
I didn’t have anything else clever to say to Eligor, so I just showed her what I meant. I wrapped my hand around the small of the knight’s back and pulled her in close. Then I pressed my lips against hers, and she responded with a deep moan of satisfaction.
Our tongues explored each others’ mouths as we started to make our way over to the bed.
Eligor raised up her leg behind her and pushed the door shut with a loud bang. Then she shoved me down onto the bed and began to unfasten her armor.
“You know I’ve taken a vow of celibacy, right?” she chuckled. “You’d better be as good as I’ve heard you are.”
“A vow of celibacy?” I asked coyly. “With armor like that?”
“Trust me,” the beautiful blonde shot back, “this may leave little to the imagination, but what actually lies beneath is beyond your wildest dreams.”
Eligor unfastened the snaps on her side, and the metallic plating of her chest piece fell away. Underneath was a set of dark red nipples that stood pert atop her massive, perky breasts. They hung down as she tore off her metal boots, flung them to the side, and then came back up for her panties. Eligor’s breasts bounced happily as she wiggled her hips and slid the armor off her bottom.
I was currently in nothing but my boxers, and the thin plaid fabric was next to worthless at hiding my erection.
Then again, that was the last thing I wanted to do right now.
Eligor’s blue eyes grew hungry as she stared at the massive tent I’d just pitched. She strutted over to where I was laying, bent over, and slowly tugged off my boxers. The knight gasped when my erection almost hit her in the face, but then she bit her lip and marveled at what she saw.
“I have to warn you,” she admitted as she tossed my underwear to the side, “I’m probably going to be a bit rusty at this. I’ve been under my vows for, well … let’s just say a long time.”
“I’ll make up for your shortcomings,” I joked back with a wink.
“Excuse me?” Eligor gasped. “I’ll show you, ‘my liege.’”
The blonde woman walked over to me, spread her legs open so she was straddling me, and then slowly eased herself down onto my cock. Her eyes filled with concern when she got about halfway down, but then she bit her lip and forced herself to take the rest. Once Eligor was all the way down onto my erection, her eyes rolled back into her head, and she let out a satisfied groan.
“That’s … holy fuck,” she nearly whimpered.
My legs were still dangling off the side of the bed, so I sat up and pulled Eligor’s lips against mine. I ran one of my hands through her blonde locks as we made out, and I let the other wander around her naked body.
The knight began to brush her gentle hand along my back as she moved her hips up and down on my dick. She kept a slow pace at first, and the two of us simply stayed in this position, enjoying each other, for as long as we could before we got down to the hardcore stuff.
Eligor must have eventually gotten antsy, because the next thing I knew she pulled away, gave me a flirty smile, and then shoved me back down so I was flat on my back. The knight then flicked her golden locks back behind her body, arched her back, and began to ride me vigorously.
I let out a moan of intense pleasure as I watched her huge breasts jiggle up and down with each thrust and felt her walls tightening around my dick. A familiar, warm tingle began to spread through my abdomen, and I knew if we kept going like this, it would all be over too soon.
I wasn’t going to let our fun time be cut short.
In a rapid series of motions, I sat up, grabbed Eligor around the waist, and then flipped us over so I was on top of her.
The blonde let out a shriek of glee, laughed, and then pressed her soft lips against mine. She wrapped her legs around my lower body and released a series of soft, muffled moans as I began to thrust slowly.
Despite her rough personality and the “hard as nails” persona she always portrayed, Eligor’s body was softer than the finest silk, and her touch was as tender as any I’d ever felt. Our bodies continued to mingle for a bit longer, but then she gently tapped me on the shoulder.
“Jacob?” she asked. “I … I have a request.”
“Oh?” I panted as I stopped my motions.
“It’s just that … I’ve fantasized about this for a long time now,” she purred and bit her lip. “Would you … you know what? I’ll just show you.”
Eligor pulled her body away from mine, and I slid out gracefully. Then the blonde woman flipped over so she was on her stomach, arched her back, and stuck her curvy ass up in the air.
She was right, she didn’t need to say another word.
I stood up on my knees, wrapped my hands around her waist, and gently slid myself into her from behind.
Eligor released a few hurried gasps as I slid her pussy lips all the way down to the base of my cock.
I made sure I was gentle at first, and I glided in and out of her wetness in a slow, rhythmic pattern.
Our sounds of pleasure mixed together in perfect harmony as I made love to the blonde woman. I started to go a little bit harder, and Eligor’s noises grew into pleasureful grunts. What finally sent her over the edge was when I reached around and started to play with her clitorus at the same time.
“Ohhhh, Jacob!” she gasped as her walls began to spasm around my dick. “I-I’m going to--ohhhhhhhh!”
Eligor could do nothing but moan intensely as she orgasmed, and her warm walls clenched around my cock.
The sight of her tight, curvy ass bouncing, mixed with the sounds of her climax, brought me to my breaking point. I pushed myself as far inside as I could go, let out a long, low moan, and released my orgasm inside of her.
Then I pulled out of Eligor, fell onto my side, and rolled over onto my back.
The blonde knight was still laying with her face against the pillow, and her hair was completely matted up as she panted like she was about to pass out. Finally, she fell down onto her toned tummy and turned her head so she could look me in the eyes.
“That was worth it,” she said with a grin. “Fuck my vows.”
“You know,” I mused, “your request really wasn’t that weird. Now Ira’s? Those are fucking weird.”
“I just wasn’t sure how you’d respond to me ordering you around,” she admitted. “In my fantasies, it always seemed to work.”
“Fantasies?” I asked with a raised eyebrow.
Eligor rolled over onto her back, and her breasts heaved up and down on her chest with each breath.
“Just because I had a vow of celibacy doesn’t mean I didn’t think about it.” She smiled. “I’m still a girl with needs, you know.”
“Well, I think those needs have been satisfied,” I shot back coyly.
“For now,” she admitted with a shrug. “But I’m hoping this is only the first of many.”
“So, does that mean you’ll stay?” I asked hopefully.
Eligor looked me deep in the eyes, and I could tell she was somewhat disheartened by what she was about to say.
“I’ll stay for a bit longer,” she promised. “At least until we’ve gotten your army built up somewhat. But then, I’m afraid I’ll have to return to Lilith. She is still my mistress, after all.”
“Then it’s very, very important we get her on my side,” I said with a nod. “Who knows? Maybe she’ll release you from your servitude or something when that happens?”
“Doubtful,” Eligor sighed, “but I love that you’re thinking positive. Ya know, Cupi was right … ”
“About what?” I questioned.
“She warned me if I came up here to talk with you, I’d end up sleeping with you,” she chuckled. “She was completely right.”
Eligor and I snuggled in bed for a few more minutes, and then we got out of bed, got dressed, and decided to head back down to where the rest of the group was gathered. As we entered the main room of the castle, we saw Todd and the entire Circle of Sin were w
aiting for us.
They had moved all the furniture around so they were in a makeshift circle, almost like something you’d see at an alcoholic’s anonymous meeting.
When Todd saw us, he let out a long wolf whistle.
“How’s it going, Vlad?” he asked giddily.
“Vlad?” I asked, even though I knew I’d regret it.
“Fuck yeah, Vlad,” the imp snickered. “You just got done impaling her, right?”
The room went silent as we all stared at Todd. The imp slapped his hand against his head and rubbed at his small tuft of hair vigorously.
“Dad jokes?” he mused. “What … what am I? I think this lack of weed is really fucking with my head, bro.”
“It’s alright, Todd,” I reassured the imp. “As soon as Martatelli figures out how to get us back to Earth, your supply will be renewed.”
“It better be,” Todd sighed and hung his head. “What’s next? Fucking knock-knock jokes?”
“Ha!” Cupi snickered and prodded Gula. “I was right, Sister. Time to pay up.”
“Yeah, yeah … ” Gula mumbled. “I guess I owe you a free meal.”
“A free meal of my choice,” the blonde succubus corrected. “At any time I want it.”
I frowned. “Did you bet on if we were going to hook up or not?”
Cupi placed her hand against her chest and made a hurt expression.
“Me? Do that?” she giggled. “Never.”
“Uh-huh,” I said with a roll of my eyes. “What did you guys figure out? It looks like you have a whole little pow-wow going on down here.”
“We think we’ve found a solution to our problem,” Sia spoke up. “It might be a little unorthodox, and it might be dangerous, but if it works, we can begin filling our army with Demon Lord generals.”
“I like the sound of that,” I laughed as I sat down in one of the empty chairs. “Hit me with it.”
“Well,” Libidine spoke up, “we first thought we could beat a few of them into submission. But then we realized that would only sow hatred toward you, not true loyalty.”
“Machiavelli.” I nodded. “Better to be loved than feared.”
“Isn’t that the Chef Boyardee guy?” Todd interjected. “I had no idea he was a philosopher, too.”
