Ink Exposed

by Carrie Ann Ryan

  His chest felt like there was a vice around it, squeezing until he couldn’t breathe, but he couldn’t focus on that. Not when Tabitha was hurt and alone.

  Damn it.

  Why the fuck hadn’t he been there?

  Oh, right, because he’d been too chickenshit to deal with his feelings, so he’d left her there for some asshole to find. The fucker had apparently been out on bail for a full day and had somehow found out where Tabitha lived. He’d attacked her when she was all alone, and now Alex would never forgive himself.

  “Slow down,” Storm muttered from Alex’s side. His brother was moving just as fast as he was so he could stuff it. “Security will take you out of here if you make a scene.” He cursed. “Our family has been in this fucking emergency room too many times to count. Or at least one just like it since, apparently, we keep ending up here.”

  Alex snarled. “Tabitha shouldn’t be in here at all. I should have been there to protect her.”

  Storm tugged on his arm and pulled him to a corner. Alex raged but didn’t fight back. Storm was right about security, and he couldn’t afford to get kicked out. Not when Tabitha was so close.

  “She fought back. You heard me say that right? The cops said she only got hurt because the fucker grabbed her at the last second and there was a patch of ice. She’d have been fine if she hadn’t fallen. But she fought back and kicked the guy so hard in the nuts, she actually ruptured a testicle.”

  Alex held back a wince at that but felt no pity. “She should have ripped his dick off.”

  “If she’d had more time, she probably would have. But she did the thing you taught her and got away. She ran. That’s the first priority, right? She ran and got help. If she hadn’t slipped, and if that step hadn’t been there, she would have been fine. She fought back, Alex. You helped her. Remember that, okay?”

  Alex let out a breath, his stomach turning. This was all too much, and he couldn’t focus. Before this, he would have gone straight for a drink to mask the emotions, but he couldn’t. He couldn’t. The fact that he’d thought about it at all though told him how close to the edge he was.”

  Storm met his gaze and cursed. “Hell. What can I do? Do you need me to call your sponsor? Can you handle this, Alex? Because you can’t go in there with your fists ready to hit something and break down in front of her. She needs you to be strong. Can you do that?”

  He wasn’t sure what he could do, and it must have shown on his face.

  “Damn it. Tabby needs you, bro. But she needs you healthy. What can I do?” Storm’s voice broke, and Alex knew that was the last straw.

  His family always did everything they could for him, and yet he kept fucking up. He was never enough.

  “I need…I need to see her.” He paused. “Then I need to call Steve.”

  Storm nodded. “Okay, then. Let’s do this.”

  The other Montgomerys had already shown up, but Alex moved past them, ignoring their questions and looks of worry. He couldn’t handle them right then, and he knew it.

  “Only one person at a time,” the nurse said. “Are you Alexander? She’s been asking for you.”

  Another punch to the gut.

  He nodded. “That’s me.” His voice was like rough gravel, but the nurse didn’t say anything. She just led him back to a small room where the only woman he thought he could love lay on a bed, her face pale and her arm tucked close to her.

  “Tabitha.”

  A broken breath.

  “Hi.”

  A small hollowness.

  The nurse left them alone, and he went to her side, his hands shaking. He couldn’t touch her. She was so fucking fragile, and he was wired. What if he hurt her again because he couldn’t control himself?

  A cut marred her forehead, and bruises dotted the side of her face. She had a splint around her wrist, and her teeth were digging into her bottom lip.

  “I’m so fucking sorry.”

  She met his gaze. There were no tears there, and he wasn’t sure if that was good or bad.

  “You shouldn’t be. You didn’t put me here. If anything, you made sure it wasn’t worse.”

  He bit off a growl. He couldn’t imagine her worse.

  “You need to go talk to Steve,” she said calmly. “You’re shaking, baby. And I don’t like to see you in pain.”

  He let out a hollow laugh. “You’re the one in the hospital. You’re the one with a splint on your arm and a bruise on your face. I’m fine.”

  She shook her head and winced. “You’re not.”

  He stayed silent.

  “I’m the one with a concussion and a cast to come. The break was clean so no surgery, thankfully. Apparently, I take enough calcium that it didn’t shatter like it could have. They might keep me for observation overnight, but when they let me go home, your parents are going to take me to their place to watch me. You mom wouldn’t hear another answer.” She closed her eyes a moment before opening them to meet his gaze. “You need to go, baby. You need to make sure you can handle this. You need to go because I don’t want to be the reason you break.”

  “Tabitha.”

  “I can’t be that reason, Alexander. I can’t.”

  He leaned down and brushed a kiss across her lips. “I…I’m so fucking sorry. I’ll be back, okay? I won’t let you down.”

  She gave him a small smile. “Go.”

  He felt like he was the one shattering inside, but he left like she’d asked. He passed his family, ignoring their questions, their glares, and went out to the parking lot. Storm followed him silently, and he was grateful. His brother had driven him here, after all.

  “I need to make a call,” Alex said, his voice breaking.

  “Where am I taking you?” Storm asked.

  “I don’t know yet.”

  He didn’t know anything.

  He called Steve right away, and the man told him to meet him at the center. Storm drove him there silently. His brother didn’t judge, didn’t glare, just took care of him.

  One day, Alex wouldn’t need this, but he didn’t know when that day would be. He hated this part of himself, but he knew this was a part that would never go away.

  “You can come in if you want,” he said once Storm had pulled up into the parking lot. “I don’t mind if you’re there.”

  Storm’s hands squeezed the steering wheel. “Not this time. Get the help you need. Find what you need. Then come back out here because Tabby needs you, too.”

  He nodded, but he wasn’t sure that was the truth. He didn’t think Tabitha needed him at all. And why should she? She couldn’t count on him when it mattered, so what other option did she have?

  Steve had two cups of coffee in his hands when Alex showed up. “Just got here, but I picked up coffee on the way. So, first off. Did you have a drink?”

  “No.”

  “Good.”

  “I didn’t want one,” Alex put in. “Not like before. It was just a quick flash of memory when I was at the hospital before I got to her, and I was afraid it would be too much. I fucked up, Steve. I really fucked up.”

  “Alex, you’re going to fuck up. We all fuck up. Even the people who haven’t tried to drink themselves to death will fuck up. But you can be strong again. Hell, you’re strong now. You came to me for help because you knew I’d be here, and I’m the comfortable one to ask. But I saw your brother drop you off. You can have him, too if you need him, I would think. You have a big family that I know you love, and who I know stood behind you through it all. You can lean on them. You can lean on your woman, too. You can lean on me. But you don’t need to lean on booze. I can promise you that.”

  They sat there and talked for over an hour before Storm walked in. He nodded at them both before taking a seat against the wall. Another hour passed, and Alex knew he’d be okay, at least for now.

  The thing was, he could have made it by Tabitha’s side. He knew that much. Only he hadn’t wanted to hurt her again. That was something he’d have to deal with once he saw her. Becaus
e he couldn’t keep running away every time things got hard. He’d once run to the bottle, but he couldn’t justify running at all anymore.

  When they were through, Storm drove him to Tabitha’s house instead of his own. “When you were in there, Mom called to tell me they’re taking her home with them,” he explained. “She said you had a key to get your phone. Right?”

  Alex nodded. “I’ll text her to see if she wants me there.”

  “Tab? Why wouldn’t she want you there?”

  “I left, Storm. She told me to go, and I did. I shouldn’t have.”

  Storm shook his head as he pulled up to Tabitha’s house. The police had come and gone, apparently, and he was allowed in, but her car was still in the driveway. Had it only been that morning that he’d been there, holding her in his arms and unsure what to do?

  He needed to see her, damn it. He just hoped she wanted to see him.

  As soon as he got his phone, he sent her a text to make sure she was okay.

  I’m okay. Going to sleep soon though your Mom will wake me up in an hour to check on me.

  He let out a breath and replied back. Want me to come?

  Her response took longer than he’d wanted. Not today. I need some space to heal. And I think you do, too.

  He blinked away the sudden stinging in his eyes and nodded though she couldn’t see. Let met know if you need anything. Thinking of you, baby.

  Same here.

  He stuck his phone in his pocket and slid into Storm’s car. “Take me home.”

  Storm looked at him with a frown on his face. “Seriously? You’re not going over there.”

  “She said she needs some space.”

  “Fuck, man. I’m sorry.”

  “Not as sorry as I am.”

  He’d fucked this up, and he wasn’t sure what to do about it. He’d give her the space she needed, though, because she deserved that much. She deserved so much more.

  Could he love her?

  Hell did he love her?

  Was love this never-ending ache for a person he wasn’t sure he could fully live without? Because if that was love, then he fucking felt it for her. He just didn’t know if he was strong enough to survive it.

  Because Tabitha deserved more than a broken man who couldn’t stand by her side.

  So he’d wait for her to be ready.

  And when that time came, he knew if he didn’t live up to what he needed to be, he’d lose her forever.

  And he’d deserve every ache and pain that came along with it.

  Chapter Fifteen

  Tabby wanted to hurl her phone across the room, but she didn’t think that would help anything. It had been three days since she’d come to stay with the Montgomerys. She could have gone home after the first day, but Marie could be persuasive when she wanted to be.

  And it probably wasn’t lost on the older Montgomery that her son hadn’t been by to visit Tabby once.

  Oh, he’d tried, but Tabby had warned him off. She’d been honest when she’d said she needed space, even when it hurt her to say it. She would do anything for that man, even stay away because she loved him.

  Because she’d seen what happened to someone when she pushed too hard like with Michael, and she wasn’t about to do that again with Alexander. If he couldn’t be the person he needed to be with her, then she couldn’t be with him.

  He needed more than that.

  She needed more than that.

  Over the past three days, they had exchanged multiple texts but no calls. They were truly giving each other space, but to what end? She would never blame him for what had happened, especially considering what he’d taught her had helped her survive. Just as she would never blame him for needing to see Steve.

  But she might blame him a little if he couldn’t love her because he was too afraid.

  She wasn’t strong enough to deny that.

  The two of them had fallen into their relationship and had progressed far too quickly for where they’d both come from. They had so much baggage between them it wasn’t even funny, so it shouldn’t have surprised her that they were having trouble now.

  But since they’d moved that fast, they each had to face the consequences.

  Her phone buzzed, and she frowned, wondering if it would be Alexander calling her. Instead, the screen read Loch’s name and she answered.

  “Hey, you,” she said, putting false cheer into her voice.

  “Hey back. How you feeling? Your head okay?”

  She’d told her family what had happened as soon as she’d gotten to the Montgomerys, and after Alexander had texted the first time. She knew she’d been stupid in not telling them the first time it had happened, so she wasn’t about to make the same mistake. As it was, the Montgomerys and her brothers had gotten together to add new security to her house.

  She let them do it because it not only made them feel better, but it also made her feel a little safer. She’d been attacked twice by the same man, and the judge was going to make sure it didn’t happen a third time. But with the new security that her parents, as well as Marie and Harry, had assured her wouldn’t be overboard, she’d have that extra layer to help her sleep at night.

  “I’m okay, actually. My arm aches a bit but not as bad as before. The doctor said I could go back to work after the weekend.”

  “Hmm.”

  She rolled her eyes, even though he couldn’t see. “I’m fine, you big brute.”

  “If you’re so fine, why did Storm call to tell me that you haven’t seen Alex.”

  She closed her eyes and groaned. “How many big brothers do I need?”

  “Well, apparently, all of us together aren’t enough since you’re in pain, baby sister.”

  “If you called to talk about my relationship with Alexander, I’m going to hang up now. The two of us will figure out what we’re doing when we’re ready. Alone.”

  “Hmm.”

  “Loch.”

  “I actually called to talk about something else, not that. But I still don’t like seeing you hurting, Tab.”

  She played with a stray thread on the comforter. “I’m okay.”

  He sighed into the phone, and she almost sighed with him. “They found Michael, Tab.”

  She sat up, ignoring the twinge in her arm. “What?”

  “He’s sober, apparently. He got a job, and Angel is in school. They moved out of Denver a month ago and live in Cheyenne now. They’re doing okay according to my contact.” He paused. “You don’t need to look for them anymore, little sis. He’s doing okay. You need to be okay, too.”

  She blinked a few times, trying to collect her thoughts. For the past four years, she’d spent countless hours worrying about the man that had been part of her life, and the child she’d loved. Only she wasn’t enough for them. She thought she’d lost them forever in the worst way possible, and had blamed herself for standing up to Michael when he’d been too much.

  But if he was sober now, and Angel was in school…then it was all over.

  For her, at least.

  They were going to be okay, at least from the looks of it.

  Maybe it was time for her to be okay, too.

  “Thanks for letting me know.”

  “Damn it, Tab. Tell me what you’re thinking. I can’t tell over the phone.”

  She sniffed, and he cursed. “I’m really okay. I know I keep saying that word, but it’s the only thing I can think of. I searched for them for so long because I thought I had to help them. But if they’re doing what they can on their own and doing it well, then I guess I don’t need to keep looking. They aren’t here anymore.”

  “No, they aren’t, baby sister. But you’re there. And so is that man you love.”

  She froze. “I never told you I loved him.”

  “We all saw it in your face the moment we looked at you. I don’t know how he missed it.”

  “He wasn’t ready to see,” she whispered.

  “Well, he’d better damn well get ready, or I will come back there
and kick his ass. You got me?”

  She smiled at her brother’s words and laughed, knowing she wouldn’t technically ever be alone. “I got you, Loch.”

  The two of them talked for another few minutes before saying goodbye. She let herself collect her thoughts for a bit longer before getting up and heading downstairs. Today, she was going home, and though she figured the Montgomerys might want her to stay, it was time.

  It was past time.

  “I’ve already packed the car, hon,” Harry said with a wink. “I knew you’d want to fly the coop eventually.”

  Tabby smiled. God, she loved this family so freaking much. She hugged him hard and sighed at how much he reminded her of his son. “Thank you for taking care of me.”

  “Always, Tabby. Always.”

  Marie hugged her next, and Tabby blinked back tears. “No matter what, baby girl, you’re one of ours. Okay?”

  Damn it, this family was going to kill her, and she couldn’t help but want to keep them close. They helped her gather her remaining things and headed over to her place. She sat in the back, her gaze on the passing road as she tried to think about what she would do next. She needed to call Alexander, she figured. She needed to call and see him. She wasn’t sure what would happen after that, but the time for giving each other space was over.

  When they pulled up in front of her house, however, it seemed she wasn’t the only one who had been thinking that.

  “I hope it’s okay that I called him,” Harry said softly. “I figured he could help me get everything out of the car. I’m an old man, you see.”

  She rolled her eyes and leaned forward to kiss his cheek. “You’re not that old, mister.”

  He grinned and got out of the car first, followed by Marie, who looked like she was holding back a smile, as well. You seriously couldn’t get much past a Montgomery, it seemed. And the family sure knew how to meddle—hopefully in the best of ways.

  “Tabitha.”

  She looked over at him and held back a sigh. She’d missed him so freaking much. “Hi.”

  She didn’t know what else to say. Three days of not seeing him, of not hearing his voice, had been too much, and yet she didn’t know what to say now.