What He Fears

by E. M. Denning

  As the movie started, he kept glancing over at Rory and Nick. Rory’s head rested comfortably on Nick’s chest. He had an arm wound around Nick’s middle. He wondered what he’d do, or feel, or think, if Rory and Nick started making out during the movie. What would Rory think if him and Nick did? Would they give the other privacy? He supposed that would defeat the purpose of the whole arrangement.

  The idea that he could watch Nick get intimate with someone appealed to him. So much so that he shifted position to accommodate the sudden swelling in his pants. He'd never watched a lot of porn but now he wondered what it would be like to watch someone he cared about be intimate with someone, especially if it were someone they cared about. He already liked the way it made him feel that Nick and Rory allowed him into their world. They let him witness their private moments, even simple ones like cuddling on the couch. He suspected that watching them together would be far more mind blowing than any porn he could ever find.

  Andrew had never fancied himself to be a voyeur, but he’d wondered, more than once about the look on Nick’s face when Rory commanded him to his knees. He wondered if there’d be a power struggle, or if Nick would go willingly. He’d heard the song and dance before, about there being strength in submission, and he wondered what that strength looked like.

  The power of Dominance attracted him, but not because he wanted to be a Dom. The way he saw it, subs might have all the power, but Doms held that power. They protected it and kept it safe. The idea that someone could take someone’s whole being, their entire essence, and hold it in their hands and keep it safe, thrilled him in the strangest way and he couldn’t get it out of his head.

  He’d often thought about how powerful the connection between Dom and sub must be, and the level of trust that needed to exist between two people for them to interact in such a way. And the more he thought about it the more curious he became.

  “I love that she rescues herself.” Rory’s voice snapped him out of his thoughts and back into the present. “Too often people don’t realize they have the power to save themselves, but Danielle knew what she was capable of.”

  He realized that he’d sat next to Nick for the better part of an entire movie, daydreaming about watching him get expertly dominated, and fucked by Rory. He tried discreetly adjusting his package, but Nick noticed the movement.

  He glanced down at Andrew’s crotch, then shot him a crooked smile and leaned closer. “I could help you with that if you’d like.”

  Andrew’s mouth watered and his breathing hitched. Was he ready for that? Would Rory sit there and watch? Would Nick want to go all the way? Would they leave the room? If they did would Rory follow? Would he join in? Would he tell Nick what to do? There was a new thought for Andrew to mull over. Nick doing things to Andrew at Rory’s command.

  Next to him, Nick chuckled and brought Andrew’s hand to his mouth. He brushed a kiss across his knuckles. “It’s okay if you’re not ready, Andrew. I want you to be comfortable.”

  “I am.” Andrew said, but he wasn’t convinced by his own words.

  Nick squeezed his hand. “When I can ask that question and not see eight different thoughts cause a train wreck in your brain, then you’re ready.”

  Andrew didn’t want to feel relieved. He’d been trying to push himself to move faster. He didn’t want to be the closed off, frigid person he’d been accused of being anymore. The movie ended, and he rose from the couch. Eager to get home and dig into the beer in his fridge and sort through all these new and different thoughts and feelings, he thanked Nick and Rory for a wonderful dinner.

  Nick walked him to the door, not letting go of his hand the whole time. Nick turned and faced him. “Thank you for coming. You made tonight special for me.”

  He offered Nick a small smile. “All I did was show up.” We didn’t even do anything, he thought.

  Nick shrugged. “That’s all I wanted. It means a lot to me that you’re so open to being here with Rory and me. It’s not something that most people would be comfortable with.”

  He was keenly aware of Rory’s gaze on them as Nick kissed him goodnight. When Nick finally let go of his hand and stepped away, Rory came over to him and placed a hand on his shoulder. He rose up on his toes a little to press a kiss to Andrew’s cheek.

  “Thank you for tonight. For everything. It means a lot to both of us.” Rory’s touch vanished and he took a step back.

  “We’ve never talked much, just the two of us.” Andrew found himself saying. He didn’t know what he was doing, but the look on Nick’s face when he thanked Andrew, the affection in his gaze, Andrew was greedy for that. He wanted more from both men. He realized it when Rory brushed the kiss against his cheek that he wanted Rory to like him, too. To want to hang out with him because Rory liked him, and not only because it would make Nick happy.

  “Tomorrow is Sunday. This one,” Rory slid an arm around Nick’s waist, “has an early shift. You’re welcome to come over. We can have breakfast together, then, when Officer Young is busy keeping our streets safe, we can hang out.”

  Andrew nodded. “Yeah. Okay.” He reached up and rubbed the back of his neck. “Goodnight.” He thanked them again for dinner and went back to his apartment and couldn’t stop his thoughts from drifting to images of Rory and Nick, and sometimes all three of them, all night long.

  Chapter Eleven

  Rory

  After Andrew left, Rory led Nick up to his bedroom. Nick wrapped his arms around Rory from behind and nuzzled his neck. Rory sank into the warmth. “I think tonight was a real success.”

  “He still seems unsure about everything.”

  The tinge of defeat in Nick’s voice made Rory want to hold his boy and reassure him. “He’s rather introspective, isn’t he?” Rory reached up behind himself until his fingers found the back of Nick’s neck. His fingertips tickled the hair there as Nick’s lips moved against his neck, softly kissing his skin.

  “He’s timid.”

  Teeth skimmed Rory’s skin in the barest of grazes. He dug his fingers into the back of Nick’s neck in a silent warning not to cross the line he approached. “He’s braver than you think. He needs a push.”

  Nick’s hands skimmed lower on Rory’s torso, down toward the button of his pants. They hovered there, waiting, unmoving until Rory nodded. Nick flicked the button open and pulled Rory’s fly down. “I don’t want to scare him off.”

  “He’s more afraid of himself than he is of you or me.” Rory leaned against Nick and let him slide a hand into Rory’s briefs. “I bet he’d let you do this.” Rory mused. A smile formed on his lips as he tilted his head to the side, opening himself to Nick’s advances. Nick’s fingers wrapped around Rory’s cock and he bucked his hips, thrusting into Nick’s hand, encouraging him to continue. “I bet he’d stand here and let you jerk him off.”

  “Sure he would. We already did that.” He gave Rory’s cock a slow tug and Rory moaned.

  “I bet he’d let you do it while I watched. I bet he’d watch me fuck you, too. Your boy is timid, but he’s curious. If you don’t see the desire in his eyes, Nicky, it’s because you’re not looking past the fear.” He gripped Nick’s hair in his fingers. “More.”

  He breathed against Rory’s skin as he tugged on Rory’s cock. Rory closed his eyes and sank into the feeling and let the memories wash over him. “Don’t you remember, Nicky, that first time, the courage it took to cross that line.”

  Nick shuddered against him and Rory tilted his head to the side a little farther, allowing Nick better access at his neck. “Fuck. I was so hard.”

  “The courage it takes to sink to your knees that first time is no small thing.” Rory gasped and bucked into Nick’s hand. He swiped his thumb over the head of Rory’s cock and smeared a drop of pre-cum. “Don’t you remember, Nicky, your first time? That first command? Your first scene? The fear, the courage, the raw desire all rolled up into one.”

  Nick whimpered into Rory’s hair. “I remember.” His hand moved faster and Rory mat
ched Nick’s desperation with his own. “I remember. God, Rory, I fell in love with you that night.”

  The confession pushed Rory to the edge, and he tumbled into blissful oblivion. He let Nick hold him, support him while he shuddered and spasmed. Nick’s hand didn’t stop moving, even after Rory’s cock emptied out onto his fingers. He smeared Rory’s cock with his release, coating it, not stopping until Rory let go of him and turned around.

  Rory let Nick tuck his cock back into his briefs before placing his hands on Nick’s chest. “Tell me what you need, Nick.”

  He stared at the floor, then slowly his gaze lifted to meet Rory’s. “I need you to help me. I don’t know how to do this.”

  “Yes, you do.” He stroked his fingertips along Nick’s jaw. The stubble scraped at his fingertips. “You do.”

  “I’ve never had a new submissive before. I don’t know for sure that Andrew is a submissive. I don’t know anything. I’m flying blind, Roar.”

  “He wants this.” He placed both hands on Nick’s chest and applied a little pressure. Nick read his cue and slowly backed up. When the back of his legs hit the bed, he sat down on the mattress and Rory wasted no time. He straddled him, pressing his semi-hard cock against Nick’s granite one. He pressed down on Nick’s shoulders with his hands and forced him to lay back on the mattress. He’d trained Nick to be the perfect submissive, for him, and if this worked out, if Rory played his cards right, he’d get to keep him forever, it felt too good to be true.

  Rory ground himself against Nick’s erection. “He wants this. You didn’t see the look on his face. He wants to know what it’s like.”

  Nick sucked in a deep breath and reached over his head to fist the blankets. “What what’s like?”

  “Us. You and him. Everything. Maybe one day, even me and him.”

  Nick groaned and Rory ground against him again, digging his fingers into Nick’s chest. The sharp edge of pain would only heighten the pleasure Nick felt.

  “He wants this, Nicky. He’s afraid of it, but he wants it.” He reached up and wrapped his hands around Nick’s wrists. Rory swivelled his hips and leaned down, brushing his nose up Nick’s cheek. “He’s afraid of something, but it’s not you, or me, or this.” He nipped at Nick’s earlobe. Nick’s hips bucked up, seeking more friction and Rory traced the curve of Nick’s ear with his tongue. “He needs a push, Nicky. He needs you to take control.”

  Rory felt Nick’s breath puff against his skin as Nick groaned and tried unsuccessfully not to writhe underneath him.

  “He’s curious, Nicky.” Rory licked the curve of Nick’s neck. He released one of Nick’s wrists and wrapped his fingers around his throat instead. He felt Nick’s pulse race beneath his fingertips. “He’s curious and cautious and a little afraid, but a little fear is okay.” He returned his hand to Nick’s wrist and pressed them both into the mattress. “A little push, Nicky. That’s all he needs.”

  Nick bucked his hips. “Roar. Please.”

  Rory pushed himself up a little and looked at Nick. His forehead was beaded with sweat. His pupils were blown wide. He blushed a shade of red that made Rory want to dot it white with his cum. “Give him a little push, Nicky.”

  Rory leaned down and slanted his mouth over Nick’s. He slid his tongue inside and swallowed Nick’s desperate moans. When his back arched, Rory broke the kiss then grinned at Nick as he ground their erections together. Rory took him to the edge of bliss. His mouth travelled up the side of Nick’s neck and his teeth latched onto his tender flesh. Nick gasped and bucked and came.

  He was quiet for a moment, then, with a husky voice that trembled slightly, he spoke. “Roar, I… I can’t. What if he’s not ready?”

  He ran a hand through Nick’s hair. “You know how to do this Nicky. It’s okay. You open a dialogue, you gauge his moods, his reactions. If all else fails, you ask him if he wants you to order him to kneel at your feet and suck your cock. You ask if he needs that push.”

  Nick covered his face with his hands and Rory watched him take a few slow, deep breaths. He crawled in behind Nick, then sat down and gently tugged his head into his lap. He ran his fingers through Nick’s short, black hair. There was barely enough to grab onto, unlike Andrew, who wore his blond hair a little longer, long enough for someone to get a good fistful.

  Nick pulled his hands away from his face and stared up at Rory. “You’re cruel.”

  Rory smiled down at him and traced the contours of Nick’s face with his fingertips. “You love it.”

  “I love you.”

  “I love you, too.” Rory bent and kissed him awkwardly on the mouth. “Time for bed, my sweet sub.” Rory kissed him once more before scrambling out from underneath him. He wriggled out of his clothes then crawled under the covers and waited for Nick to climb in and wrap his arms around him.

  ***

  Rory watched Nick as he opened the door and greeted Andrew. For a man who’d only recently come to terms with his bisexuality, he seemed to have embraced it. Andrew rarely made the first move, Rory noticed, but whenever Nick reached for him, Andrew melted into his touch, like he’d been waiting for it. He seemed starved for affection.

  Nick leaned in and brushed a kiss against Andrew’s mouth, then entwined their fingers and tugged him toward Rory, who shoved off the wall and padded back to the kitchen. Rory checked on the sausages in the oven before giving the hash browns a quick stir. Nick and Andrew entered the kitchen, and he turned his head to shoot Andrew a wide smile. “Good morning, Sunshine.” He gestured to Nick, who’d already showered and dressed for work. “Enjoying the view?”

  Andrew’s cheeks reddened, but a smile threatened to form. He didn’t seem to know what to say so Rory jumped in and rescued him. “I know. He’s too hot for words. It should be a crime to look as good as he does.”

  Nick swept past him on his way to the table and grabbed the cheek of his ass. He feigned indignation and pointed the spatula he’d stirred the hash browns with at Nick. “You behave. Don’t go giving the cub any wrong ideas about who’s in charge here.”

  Andrew took a seat at the table in the breakfast nook and Nick grabbed a stack of plates out of the cupboard. “Yes, yes,” he said, setting the plates on the counter. “We all know that I’m armed and you’re dangerous.”

  “Don’t listen to him, Andrew, I’m harmless.” Nick raised an eyebrow and Rory shot him an amused smile. “All my fun toys are in the playroom.”

  “You could do plenty of damage with that spatula.”

  “Do you know this from experience?” Andrew quipped, then quickly reddened. His embarrassment was obvious, but Rory couldn’t resist tormenting the boy, if only a little.

  “He does. In fact. He might be a man of the law, but deep down inside he’s still a naughty little boy.” Rory winked at Andrew, who looked at Nick.

  Nick shook his head. “Rory is far too anal about hygiene to put his cooking utensils anywhere near my ass.” Nick poured two cups of coffee, one for him and one for Andrew, then sat down next to him. Nick watched Rory as he served breakfast, heaping three plates with the sausages and potatoes. “What did you have planned for today?”

  Rory winked as he set two of the plates down in front of Nick and Andrew before retrieving his own. “Wouldn’t you like to know?”

  Rory plopped down on a chair at the round table. His position put him across from Andrew who stared at him, wide-eyed, as Rory stabbed a sausage and sliced a chunk off with a knife.

  “Aren’t you a vegan?”

  Rory stilled. Andrew barely knew him, but the knowledge that he somehow remembered a small fact like that, warmed his insides. “Yeah, and these are the best vegan sausages that money can buy, now eat up.” He smiled at Andrew. Andrew held his gaze for a fleeting moment, then turned his attention back to his food.

  Today was going to be a great day, Rory could feel it.

  Chapter Twelve

  Andrew

  Nick’s taste still lingered on Andrew’s lips when the door shut behind him. And
rew was alone with Rory for the first time, ever. Rory didn’t give him a chance to wonder if it would be awkward or not. He grinned at him, a warm smile tinged with a bit of mischief before he spun on his heel and started walking away.

  “Follow me, Andrew.” Rory cast a glance over his shoulder to make sure he followed. “Do you prefer Andrew?”

  “I’m fine with anything but Andy.” He followed Rory upstairs. Rory’s house perfectly matched the man who owned it. Tastefully decorated with a flair of color in every room, the only thing in Rory’s house that was more vibrant than the decor, was him.

  Andrew followed him down the hallway and Rory led him into what had to be the master bedroom. He stopped in the doorway and stared at the monstrous bed. Instead of something grown up, like a solid color, or plaid, Rory’s bed was dressed in galaxy linens that would’ve looked out-of-place anywhere else, but in here, they worked.

  “Come along, Andrew. There’s something I want you to see.” Rory breezed past the bed and exited the room through a door that led outside onto what had to be a balcony.

  Andrew passed the bed and did his best not to think of everything that had gone on there, of all the things Nick and Rory did together. His imagination wouldn’t be ignored though, and he could almost see himself there with Nick. Nick pressing him down into the mattress. Nick kissing him and grinding against him. And Rory, watching, his hand lazily pumping his cock until he decided he’d had enough of self pleasure and commanded one of them to—Andrew shoved that particular thought aside and stepped outside.