Explicit Memory

by Scarlett Finn

  ‘Let’s get one thing clear: I am not your woman. And Rushe lets me drink in whatever manner I choose to.’

  ‘I have done you a kindness. My uncle is a rational man, Rushe could be useful.’

  Flick was getting tired of hearing people say that about him. ‘Because he’s not squeamish?’ Flick asked, pleased that the warmth of alcohol was circling her heart, and replacing that hollow ache that had consumed her since the alley.

  ‘You chose to be here, chose to stand with me, at my side, to permit my lingering association with your family.’

  ‘As opposed to destroying the man I love? Yes, I did.’

  ‘Then you will learn to do as you are told,’ Antoine said. Narrowing the space between them, he took her glass away as she lifted it toward her lips again.

  ‘You are here to play a role, to be my woman, to give me cover for further dealings with your father. We are on the cusp of a crucial deal. My cut, I imagine, will be closely tied to how intimately related I am with your family.’

  ‘So I smile at you and laugh at your jokes while you exploit my relatives?’

  ‘This was your proposal; you negotiated this deal,’ Antoine said. ‘You wanted an alternative, and this is it. You will testify against Victor, and you will maintain the appearance of an intimate relationship with me. I will make money for your family—‘

  ‘And more than a little for yourself.’

  ‘It would be naive of our families not to unite. I promise you that it is in my interest to maintain this alliance with your family. They will be safe and protected, provided that they are useful to me, and that you do not threaten our unity. My uncle looks forward to meeting your father.’

  ‘No one will believe that we are romantically involved.’

  ‘You will make them believe,’ he said, sampling her drink, then swirling the remaining liquid in the base of the tumbler.

  ‘We barely know each other.’

  ‘You have proved yourself reckless and impulsive,’ Antoine said. ‘They believe that you do not always act with good sense. If you found yourself compelled to explore your attraction to me...’

  ‘I am not—‘

  ‘You want to be of use to me, as you wish Rushe to be free to be with his whore, do you not?’

  Antoine must have still believed that Rushe and Tawny were sleeping together. ‘I won’t have sex with you.’

  His lips contorted into a smile. ‘You may be as eager for me as you like, but your family must believe our relationship is sustainable. Our courtship shall be proper, but you will be faithful to me. Your attention will be entirely mine, and you will fulfil your duties as I choose them to be.’

  ‘You will never have me,’ Flick said, knowing that the only man she would be faithful to was Rushe.

  ‘Do not lay a challenge before me. Sex, ma chère, is easy to coerce.’ He put the glass on the table and brought his body against hers. ‘You shall serve me as I see fit and obey my every command. Your feelings, in time, may surprise you. You enjoy dangerous men, Felicity. Danger comes in many forms.’ He lowered his head as though to kiss her.

  Ready to shove away, Flick elevated her elbows, and then a sound in the corner raised her attention, and Antoine’s too. Charles Hughes stood there in the doorway with shock flaring from his expression, and a grinning Beverly stood next to him.

  ‘Oh my! We did not mean to interrupt,’ Beverly said, placing her palm on her husband’s arm, which was her equivalent of squealing in glee. ‘We should leave you alone.’

  ‘Non,’ Antoine said, thankfully backing away. ‘Felicity was on her way to refresh herself after our long journey. She must wash away the past.’ Though he didn’t look at her, Flick heard the implication of Rushe’s name on Antoine’s lips, and she shivered at the idea of ridding herself of the remnants of her love’s touch. ‘The trip was tiring, but she promises to entice me, and I find myself intrigued.’

  ‘We can intrigue!’ Beverly declared. ‘Come with me, and we shall indulge the men, tempt them as best we can.’

  ‘Très bon,’ Antoine said, bestowing a smug smile on Flick. ‘I look forward to it, ma chère.’

  With no other choice, Flick left the Frenchman to accept her mother’s outstretched hand. Beverly would preen her to what a perfect Hughes woman should epitomise. But Flick didn’t want perfumes and face packs, she wanted pizza and her lover.

  Antoine couldn’t be trusted, and so she couldn’t help but be preoccupied with fears for Rushe’s wellbeing. Without her touchstone at her side, she was already beginning to flounder.

  Chapter Twenty

  Watching Rushe be hurt in that alley would have induced Flick to agree to anything in order to prevent his pain. Her parents were thrilled that she was here, and Vivian seemed happy about it too. Flick forced herself to look at Antoine when he spoke, but she couldn’t bring herself to adore him, though it was obviously what he expected of everyone.

  As soon as Lucia saw that Antoine remained at Flick’s side and that he kept touching her, much to Flick’s difficult-to-disguise chagrin, the eldest Hughes child appeared dismayed. No one asked any questions about her and Antoine’s frequent proximity, but that didn’t surprise her. Appearances were what mattered in this household, and they were all beautiful people, admiring and fawning over each other. This was the life she had fought to escape from.

  Tossing the last of her wine to her throat, Flick left Antoine’s side on the couch and went to the bar for the bottle. She filled her glass and downed half of the sweet liquid without taking a breath.

  ‘Felicity, dear, don’t be inappropriate,’ Charles said.

  ‘Don’t worry, Charles, we’ll school her again in more ladylike ways,’ Beverly said. ‘We shall remind her what it is to be a Hughes. Please do not be deterred by her crassness, Antoine.’

  Flick now saw that her family would make no secret of their desire to see her coupled up with the European. So she was being pitched as a marital prospect by her family, again.

  ‘I am not,’ Antoine said. ‘And that shall be her last drink.’

  Keeping her eyes trained to the aloof Antoine posed on her mother’s couch, Flick took her glass up to her lips. He made her sick.

  ‘You can’t auction Flick off to Antoine,’ Lucia said. Flick didn’t think that she’d ever heard her sister mouth off, though she did so now in a delicate way. ‘Antoine has taste.’

  So any hint that Lucia might have been defending her baby sister was dispersed rather quickly.

  ‘Felicity is a very attractive woman,’ Antoine said. ‘She has displayed interest that I am aware of. But these are our personal matters.’

  ‘Of course, of course,’ Charles said. ‘We care not—‘

  A loud crash from beyond the room startled them all into silence. Shouting ensued with a maelstrom of clatters and rabbling. The din came closer, then ceased for half a beat.

  ‘Kitten!’

  Inhaling a gasp, Flick’s hands fell and dropped the fragile wine glass, which caused a splinter of shattering sparkles. But Flick was already moving, already across the room, out the door and running up the hallway toward the lobby. Bursting through the door, she dashed around the staircase and saw him there, spinning to face her.

  ‘Lover,’ she whimpered, and ran to him.

  Rushe swept her off the floor with his forearm under her ass and his other hand cradling the back of her skull.

  ‘What the fuck!’ he hollered at her.

  His eye was blackened and his jaw was bruised. He’d been more than cast aside, he’d been beaten. But he was alive, and he was here.

  ‘You came here,’ she said, smudging her mouth to his. ‘You shouldn’t be here, you can’t be here.’

  ‘We’ve called the police,’ a steward said. Flick hadn’t been aware of the dozen or so others in the foyer.

  ‘No,’ Flick said, clamping her arms tighter around him. ‘No police, he’s fine, he’s allowed here. Lover, you came for me.’

  ‘What the fuck did you think
you were doing?’ Rushe snarled at Flick, oblivious to the others. She noticed then how loose his clinch was. His enfolding arms were holding her form back from his ribs, and if he hadn’t been so focused on her he might have registered pain on his expression beyond his clenched jaw and gritted teeth.

  ‘They hurt you,’ she wept, cradling his face. ‘Oh Lover, they hurt you.’

  ‘We’re leaving.’

  Flick had been intending to free him from her hold, and as he turned toward the door, she slithered down him and hooked his pocket. Rushe kept hold of the back of her neck, keeping her body eclipsed in his.

  ‘The police are on their way, ma chère.’

  The exotic accent froze her in her steps, bringing Rushe to a halt at her back.

  ‘They’ll put you away,’ Flick exhaled.

  ‘We’re leaving,’ Rushe insisted.

  She cast her wet eyes up over her shoulder to her scowling love. ‘You have to go.’

  His brows drew closer together, and that piercing black stare seared through her. ‘We are leaving.’

  ‘What about Serendipity and Tawny?’ Flick asked. If her family were in the room they’d no doubt believe these names were of women that Rushe had dallied with.

  ‘We’re leaving.’ Rushe seemed almost unable to accept her refusal to move, but she was refusing him because she had to.

  Twisting in his arms, she laid her forearms against his torso. ‘You have to go, and I have to stay. You have a job to do, and so do I.’

  ‘No,’ he said, and dipped to take her off her feet.

  Marching for the door, the stewards and staff circled them, and she recognised the trapped animal in Rushe emerging. He was ready to lash out and damage the threat to him and his prize.

  ‘There are many witnesses to this kidnap attempt,’ Antoine drawled.

  ‘This is making it worse,’ Flick said. ‘Be patient, Lover.’

  ‘You are my woman.’

  ‘Not anymore,’ Antoine said, approaching their periphery. ‘She chooses to be here with her family, with me.’

  Rushe dropped her and Flick stumbled on her heel, collapsing to the floor as Rushe spun on Antoine to bear down upon the European.

  Flick saw Rushe’s fist ball, and as it came up she clambered across the floor.

  ‘No!’ she shouted. ‘It’ll make it worse! Leave him! Please, Rushe!’

  The howl of a siren made her prickle, and he whipped around to look at her. ‘Kit,’ he murmured.

  ‘Go,’ she whispered.

  In two strides, he was at her side, and he bent to snatch her arm and haul her to her feet. ‘I love you.’

  Admitting it so openly was a first, and she hated to see the conflict rage in him. ‘I know.’

  The siren grew louder. ‘I’ll come for you. Maintain your guard.’

  In a sweeping crouch, he snatched her head and captured her mouth in a brief but consuming union. All too quickly, he was gone, and she closed her eyes to lock up tight the memory of what could be their last moment together. Flick wanted to keep it deep within her.

  ‘Shouldn’t we stop him?’ came a staff voice.

  ‘Good luck trying that,’ Roger said.

  Flick met Antoine’s eyes. ‘Let him go... we let him go.’

  ‘He is pained to lose you,’ Antoine said, coming to her. He brushed her lips with his fingers, wiping away her lover’s kiss. ‘It is done, and there will be no more... oui?’

  The salt of her tears touched his fingers, but Flick had to nod because now she was locked in here, and there were no other options.

  ‘No more.’

  ‘Then we shall dismiss the police,’ Antoine said. ‘And put this down to a final, dramatic goodbye.’

  ‘But what about—‘Charles began.

  ‘We have Felicity to ourselves now,’ Antoine said. ‘This marks the end of that chapter. No more drama, we want only family, and he will no longer take up any of our time. He is the past.’

  With those cold foreign eyes Antoine made Flick shiver, because if Rushe was the past, Antoine wanted to be her future, and there wasn’t anything she could do to prevent that disgusting truth from becoming her new reality.

  ‘It’s me.’

  Flick had waited until everyone had gone to bed, then she had left a decent interval for everyone to find their slumber. Her two sisters and their husbands had elected to spend the night here in her parents’ house; everyone was sufficiently disturbed by Rushe’s intrusion that they didn’t want to risk going home alone.

  Once she was sure that everyone would be sleeping, Flick tiptoed her way down to the family library, seated herself at the cherry wood desk, and picked up the phone.

  ‘Thank god,’ Liam exhaled down the line. ‘We were starting to get worried. You called to say that you were going to visit Jansen, and you said you would get back in touch after you’d seen him. That was a lengthy hospital visit.’

  ‘Something happened.’

  ‘Yeah, we figured that out. What?’

  ‘I’m back at my parents’,’ she said into the receiver. ‘They ambushed Rushe and me at the hospital. They wanted to call the police, to say that Rushe had been attacking me when Antoine’s men stepped in.’

  ‘Giving you the chance to be honest about the tyranny you’ve lived under for all of these months?’

  ‘Yeah,’ she said. ‘Something like that. I couldn’t let them do it.’

  ‘I don’t understand what that has to do with your parents’ house,’ Liam said. ‘Did they arrest Rushe?’

  ‘No,’ she said. ‘Antoine made me an offer, he made a request of me...’

  ‘During your negotiations?’

  ‘I told him to go to hell at first, but... I’m going to testify against Victor, see that he and his gang are implicated without the Merciers entering the equation.’

  ‘I still don’t see what that has to do with—‘

  ‘Antoine told me that wasn’t enough,’ Flick admitted, shutting her eyes against the memory of those words. ‘I offered him that, and he said it wasn’t enough.’

  ‘No, ‘cause he wants you to suffer. All of you.’

  ‘When it’s done they’ll let Serendipity go, they won’t touch Jansen again... Rushe will be free.’

  ‘That’s too easy. You give a statement, then stand up in court, and that’s it? No,’ Liam said, with a note of suspicion. ‘What else?’

  ‘He wants my family name, their credibility and connections.’

  ‘Your family...’ At first, Liam didn’t follow. ‘Wait, are you telling me...? You’ve entered into some sort of sordid arrangement to use yourself to protect the others?’

  ‘It’s not sordid,’ Flick said. ‘It’s not sexual, I’ve made that clear to him.’

  ‘For crissakes, Flick, you can’t... do you think Rushe is going to let that happen? That he’ll let you hang off that guy’s arm just to better the frog’s business prospects?’

  Flick had never heard Liam use an insulting word to describe anyone. ‘It’s a low price to pay. It makes sense. No one will lose their lives. The threat will be gone, no more pain, no more hurt, and everyone can be free.’

  ‘Except you,’ Liam said. ‘How long do you expect this to last? Does he want to marry you? Does he expect you to give up the rest of your life?’

  ‘I don’t know,’ Flick said, as saline rushed to her tongue. ‘I don’t know, Liam. All I know is that I couldn’t let them hurt Rushe anymore.’

  ‘What is jail time?’ Liam said. ‘Rushe will do—‘

  ‘That’s why I’m calling you,’ Flick said. ‘I need you to talk to him. Find Eric, then both of you talk to Rushe.’

  ‘And tell him what?’

  ‘That this makes sense, and that he has to let me go. I’m not in pain, Liam. I’m healthy. Antoine is not molesting me. The conditions here are perfectly acceptable, excellent in fact. If a person had to choose their own prison I imagine my mother’s home would be a near ideal choice. I won’t want for anything here.’

 
‘Except freedom. I can’t condone this, Flick.’

  ‘Rushe will drive himself insane. He’ll self-destruct. He’ll blame himself for this. If he does something stupid—‘

  ‘Like what? Turn himself in?’

  ‘I won’t testify against him,’ Flick said. ‘You need to tell him that going to the police won’t do anything to free me. I’ll still be here. Antoine will still have me, and there won’t be a thing that Rushe can do about that from inside a jail cell.

  ‘Someone needs to watch my tail, and he can do that, he can check in with me periodically, just... tell him to stay away from here. He can look from afar if he wants to. Antoine will only be understanding for so long, and seeing Rushe will only remind me that I can’t... Antoine expects me to be faithful.’

  Flick knew that she had no intention of being intimate with anyone except Rushe. But she couldn’t let her lover think that that prospect was on the horizon. If Rushe kept coming back here they would only get into trouble, because she wouldn’t be able to resist him. If Antoine decided to be done with her, or if he felt embarrassed when she was caught in a compromising position with Rushe, there was no telling what he would do.

  ‘I thought it wasn’t a sexual arrangement.’

  ‘I’ll be celibate. The request of fidelity is about control,’ she said. ‘The point is that you have to convince Rushe that coming here will do no good. I still don’t trust that Tawny will be safe, or that they’ll be kind to Serendipity while they have her. Someone needs to get in touch with Jansen, to tell him what is going on, and to let him know that when Victor’s mob officially gets the blame that Serendipity will be turned loose.’

  ‘You believe that will happen?’

  ‘I believe that we have to let Antoine believe we’re going to hold up our end of the bargain. As long as his interest in my family remains business-oriented, then there’s no need for me to go back on my word. They’re in danger here too. If I risk his business interests...’ she sighed. ‘All he wants is an in. He’s not asking for much more of me than my parents were when they wanted me to marry Robert. That arrangement was meant to better the Hughes’ business network. The Merciers will have connections that will tempt my father too, and he’ll want the cemented association. Antoine has made a big deal of family, so if he has me, he’s... family.’