Explicit Memory

by Scarlett Finn

  ‘I don’t like this.’

  ‘Do you think I do?’ she asked, feeling the life drain down through her body and out into the roots of the family home. ‘But everyone’s alive, Liam, and everyone is safe. Tell Rushe to stay away. Tell him to keep working. His work is important, and he shouldn’t stop helping other women just because we’ve found ourselves in this mess. Please, Liam, keep him sane, keep him focused. I need to know that you and Eric are on this... What’s the alternative? Rushe goes to jail, my family is endangered, Tawny and Serendipity too, and why? Because I’m too stubborn to live in a building with my family and feign an interest in a specific man? That’s all I have to do.’

  ‘What if he decides that he wants more from you?’

  ‘Then he’ll be disappointed,’ Flick said. ‘Forcing the issue makes no sense from his position, either. I’m a shill. I’m here to sell Antoine to my family. He can have sex with anyone he wants to, it’s not like there’s a real relationship. This is a business arrangement.’

  ‘Convincing Rushe won’t be as easy.’

  Flick was surprised that Liam sounded almost sorry for Rushe, when the men hadn’t always seen eye to eye.

  ‘I know that,’ she said. ‘But Rushe trusts me, and he is logical, you just have to make sure that he doesn’t act on impulse. Remind him of how important his forethought is. Make sure he thinks this through, and he thinks through all of his actions. This isn’t over. There’s a long way to go, and we have to be willing to take our time and get this right.’

  ‘A marathon, not a sprint?’

  ‘Exactly,’ she said. ‘I want your word, Liam. Please look after him, and make sure he keeps his head.’

  On a dubious exhale, Liam spoke. ‘I’ll try my best, but I’m not sure that he’ll listen to me.’

  ‘Remind him that Tawny needs him, and that he needs to be there to look after her while this is going on. They know that Rushe cares for her.’

  ‘Who is Tawny?’

  ‘It doesn’t matter. Just remind him that I’m strong, and I can handle this. Tell him my guard is in place, and it’s not going anywhere.’

  ‘He’s a helluva lucky guy,’ Liam said.

  ‘I’m the lucky one,’ Flick said. ‘I have your word?’

  ‘Yes.’

  ‘Thank you,’ she said. ‘And thank you for your help through this; you’re a really great guy.’

  ‘You can thank me when we get you out of there, because we will get you out of there... somehow.’

  ‘I have to go.’

  Flick hung up the phone without waiting to hear more. She had said her piece, and she trusted Liam to follow through. But she couldn’t let herself believe that this was going to be an easy fix. She was in this deep, and Antoine was the only person here, other than her, who knew the truth. Flick was alone.

  Chapter Twenty-One

  Three weeks didn’t sound like very long when she said the words in her head. But as she watched her mother and father retreat down the hallway toward their bedroom, Flick tried to recall a time when she hadn’t been locked in this hell, and she failed.

  ‘You need to rest.’

  Flick snatched her hand out of Antoine’s and began to stalk toward her own bedroom on unsteady legs. ‘Don’t pretend that you care about me.’

  Spending time with the family was the peak of her torture. At least when she and Antoine were alone there was no illusion to propagate. When they went out on “dates” Antoine tended to hire a private dining space, which meant he could conduct business and they could ignore each other.

  Flick went into her bedroom and closed the door. She fell against the wall as she bent to yank her shoes from her feet, just so that she had something to throw across the room in frustration.

  Antoine had given her no time at all to settle in. Within the first forty-eight hours of being back in her parents’ house he’d taken her to the police. He’d declared himself as a “concerned family friend” who had heard her tale of woe and insisted that she come forward, despite her fear of retribution.

  It was actually easier than she would have thought to convince the police that she was scared for her safety, which was what apparently prevented her from coming forth sooner. Yet she claimed to now be tired of running. The police had spoken to her only briefly, and then she had been quickly turned over to the feds for further questioning. They’d had her in and out a few times and asked her the same questions over and over again, but she stuck as close to the truth as she could, only omitting Rushe’s name from the story.

  Victor and his gang were the focus of the investigation, though it was clear that the feds suspected involvement from other parties. Mercier hadn’t been happy when she had referenced the “man who protected her” from Skeeve and the others at the shack, but Flick tried to use her own forethought. Being honest about Rushe, without naming him, would ensure that if the Merciers ever tried to have Rushe arrested she could point to him as her protector.

  Law enforcement already had her, and her name, on record, and it turned out that they had tried to trace her. Flick advised them that she had gone into hiding at her protector’s insistence and had only recently had the courage to return to her family home.

  Antoine had access to a lot of information, a lot more than she and Liam had managed to collate. But that didn’t surprise Flick, because she knew that the criminal had ties to the police force. So Flick’s job became to confirm details that implicated Victor. But she basically told the truth about everything… except the sex and the love that followed.

  As for her time at home, Flick could see just how things with the family were going to play out. Lucia was the only other unhappy person around the dinner table these days, and Flick knew it was because she sat beside Antoine. She struggled to believe that Lucia had actual feelings for Antoine, which may be hurt, but that could be because she herself despised him so. But Flick knew Lucia’s distress was more likely wounded pride. Still, it didn’t sit well with her to be at odds with her sister. Not that Lucia ever vocalised her consternation.

  Standing in her bedroom, Flick took a deep breath and reminded herself to remain calm. The increasing difficulty she had in tolerating Antoine and the situation they were in was directly tied to how much she missed Rushe. All she thought about, every minute of the day, was her love and his welfare.

  Avoiding all contact with Rushe, and the others, had been a deliberate choice on her part, because it wouldn’t be fair to tell Liam to stay away and then constantly be pestering the men herself. So she’d made a promise to herself to have one month without contact, and then she would phone to check in with Liam and get news on Rushe.

  ‘You need to learn greater control, ma chère.’

  Flick spun around to see Antoine inside her bedroom, with the door closed to give them their privacy. ‘Get out of here,’ she said, pointing at the exit behind him.

  ‘Your family is very pleased about our relationship.’

  Coming toward her, he ignored her request, and he took her hand from its position in mid-air. She hated it when Antoine held her hand, or when he curled her fingers around his arm. She hated it when he kissed her cheek and stood so close to her with a possessive hand against her spine. She hated it because she hated him.

  ‘Yes, I had realised that,’ she said, yanking her hand away from his grasp. ‘Now get out of my bedroom.’

  ‘You are beginning to struggle.’

  ‘Beginning to?’

  ‘You must learn to hold it together. Your drinking is becoming unacceptable. You are intoxicated every night. But our love should be strengthening now; you should be happy with me,’ he said. ‘Are you thinking about him?’

  ‘I think about Rushe every day,’ she said, meeting his eye and not hesitating for one moment in using her love’s name.

  ‘He has accepted your separation,’ Antoine said. ‘He is enjoying the girl, the whore.’

  ‘Maybe.’

  ‘He is,’ Antoine said. ‘We have news of him; I hear t
hey are very happy together.’

  Flick wasn’t going to believe what Antoine said of Rushe’s relationship with Tawny. Except there was a chance that Rushe wanted Antoine and his cronies to believe that he and Tawny were intimate, so Flick wouldn’t refute it.

  ‘Then all is well,’ she said.

  Antoine took her hand from her side. ‘This arrangement benefits us all.’

  ‘I’ve held up my end of the bargain.’

  ‘And so have we.’

  ‘Good, then,’ Flick said. ‘Please leave my bedroom.’

  ‘Why do you fight so hard, ma chère?’ he asked, sweeping her hair back over her shoulder and taking her knuckles to his lips. ‘You do not need to fight me. We are allies here.’

  ‘I’m not interested,’ Flick said, edging away from the obviously impending seduction. ‘Your accent doesn’t do it for me.’

  Antoine’s features slackened to a smile. ‘You are not as repulsed by me as you would have me believe, though you no doubt wish that you were. You are more comfortable with my hands on you now than you were in the beginning.’

  And when Flick realised he still had a hold of her hand, she whipped it away. ‘Your hands will be the only thing on me, and they are there despite my protests.’

  ‘My uncle shall return to the country next week,’ Antoine said, not discouraged. This news piqued Flick’s attention. ‘I look forward to introducing him to your family.’

  ‘You’re a snake.’

  ‘It’s a part of our deal, that our families will work together,’ Antoine said. ‘He shall come here for dinner. Our families will meet. And we shall announce to him our engagement.’

  Her eyes crept up to his at the same rate that conceited indulgence spread on his face. He enjoyed torturing her like this. ‘Our what?’

  Dipping his hand into his pocket, he pulled out a small square box, which he urged into her hand. ‘You will start to wear the ring tomorrow, because you will be unable to contain your excitement. Thus, you will be announcing our engagement to your own family. This act shall bother me, as I will tell them that we had agreed to conceal the joyous news until my uncle’s arrival. But you are impulsive and selfish and wish to boast about our union.’

  ‘We’ve known each other for three weeks—‘

  ‘As far as your parents are concerned, I have helped you through a difficult time. They believe that since I brought you back here, we have discussed your past and your fears for the future. They think that you have confided in me, and that we have trust. I offer you security and am intrigued by you. You have a tendency to be swept up in the romantic. Three weeks is a very respectable interval for a couple as in love as we are.’

  ‘They believed that?’

  ‘They had no reason not to,’ Antoine said. ‘I, of course, will imply that I concealed our physical dalliances to protect your modesty.’

  ‘You’ve told them that we’ve…’

  ‘I have not told them anything,’ he said. ‘But they will assume. I did tell them of your advance toward me the day after the anniversary event.’

  ‘All that time ago?’

  He reached for her hand again. ‘It is the reason why I came to retrieve you. I knew that you were unhappy with that man. It can’t be a surprise to you that your parents were disgusted by the idea of Rushe as your partner.’

  ‘They weren’t worried about me, or disgusted by him, they were worried about themselves, and about how it looked for the family.’

  ‘Oui,’ Antoine said. Their relationship might be false, but that meant there was no need to tiptoe around the truth and pretty things up. Antoine saw the truth of her family, and she knew it. ‘Rushe does not fit in here. I do.’

  ‘He’s a better man than you could ever dream to be.’

  ‘Ah, perhaps,’ he laughed. ‘You are vehemently passionate about a man who cares not for you.’

  ‘He cares.’

  ‘He does not care that you are here, with me, in my bed.’

  ‘I’ve been nowhere near your bed.’

  ‘He does not know that,’ Antoine said. ‘How will he react on learning of our engagement?’

  Flick didn’t doubt that Antoine would make sure that news got back to Rushe. But she had faith in her love, and squaring her shoulders she maintained eye contact. ‘My agreement with you keeps everyone safe and alive. I don’t regret it.’

  ‘I am glad to hear that,’ Antoine said. ‘Because you and I will be allies for many years to come, Felicity.’

  ‘My father may not approve of such a hasty betrothal.’

  ‘I have no intention of marrying you next week, unless it serves my interest. So we may plan on a prolonged engagement,’ Antoine said, and the enjoyment in his face made Flick cringe. ‘But the suggestion was your father’s. He made very clear to me how he valued my ability to keep you on the straight and narrow.’

  ‘My father suggested that you propose marriage to me?’ Flick shouldn’t be shocked, but she still didn’t understand how such an idea, the idea of marriage without love, could be palatable to anyone. But her family didn’t see the truth, only what she and Antoine presented for appearance sake.

  ‘Your father is not a bad man,’ Antoine said. ‘He is pragmatic, very sensible, practical and logical... not unlike yourself, Felicity.’

  ‘Me?’

  ‘You had an issue with our initial request of you. You were active in seeking a solution that would suit all parties. You did not run. You did not hide. You did not make things worse for anyone by being dramatic. You came to me, and we reached an accord.’

  ‘To save the lives and ensure the liberty of those I care about.’

  ‘That is your priority,’ Antoine said. ‘Your father’s is business, and money; he is a man tempted by capital. Wealth to him is what Rushe is to you. You were logical and came to me with a sensible solution. You were also wise enough to recognise what was reasonable. This may not be your first choice of location, and I may not be your first choice of husband, but you are not cruelly treated here. This is an arrangement that suits the many and costs only the trivial needs of a few.’

  She had never considered herself as having shared any qualities with her father, but what Antoine said made sense, and for the first time Flick began to look at things from the point of view of her family.

  ‘Is Jansen out of the hospital?’ she asked, recognising that Antoine was more in touch with the happenings of her comrades than she’d wanted to admit before. If he was a reasonable man, then there was no need for him to withhold such details from her, but Flick had never asked before.

  ‘No.’

  ‘How could you do that to him?’ she asked, letting her muscles lose some of their rigour. ‘How can it be acceptable behaviour to you to order such a thing?’

  ‘What of Rushe’s past behaviour?’

  ‘We’re talking about Jansen; you had him beaten,’ Flick said. ‘He could have died, and you live with that on your conscience.’

  ‘My uncle makes the decisions in our family,’ Antoine said.

  ‘So that’s it? That’s how you absolve yourself? It was someone else’s fault?’

  ‘He was spying on us, he threatened our operation, and he could’ve exposed us.’

  ‘He was doing his job,’ Flick said.

  ‘As am I.’

  ‘Does Simone still stay with Serendipity?’

  ‘Yes,’ Antoine said, and led her toward the ottoman bench at the end of her bed to seat them both. Flick placed the ring box on the bench beside her thigh. ‘The women remain together.’

  ‘Your cousin is evil.’

  His palm skimmed up her forearm to her elbow and down again, as he shifted her extremity to his lap. ‘I am sure there are those who would say the same of Rushe.’

  ‘He is a good man, and hurts only those who deserve it.’

  ‘And who makes that decision?’

  His hand carried on up her arm to her shoulder until he touched her jaw. ‘I’m not that drunk,’ she said, slapping
his caress away when his thumb made a move to tip her chin.

  ‘I am surprised,’ he said, when she bounded up off the ottoman. ‘You have spent most of these last three weeks in a stupor.’

  ‘That’s what being with a man like you will do to a sane woman,’ she said, snarling at him. Antoine was on his feet and coming at her, but she didn’t flinch, not even when he grabbed her arms to haul her closer to him.

  ‘You should be grateful to me! You will be grateful.’

  ‘I will not,’ she said. ‘I will never be.’

  When he repositioned to pull her higher, Flick threw her head back and spat forward, spraying his face with her disgust. He roared out and shoved her back, while wiping the saliva from his skin.

  ‘You are a cheap whore, nothing to me! That animal suits you.’

  ‘Yes,’ she said with a depraved smile. ‘He does.’

  With one stride, Antoine was on her again. ‘You will wear the ring. You will do what you are told.’

  ‘Don’t bet on it.’ Flick made for the door, ready to open it and throw him out.

  ‘I will hurt them,’ he said, causing Flick to halt. ‘Lucia will happily fulfil my desires if you will not.’

  ‘Leave my sister out of this mess.’

  ‘Your sister has desire for me, she craves me, and she will do what I wish, what I tell her to. We can make your life difficult.’

  ‘What do you think my life is now?’

  ‘You forget the power that I have, the lives I control. If you do not please me...’

  And that was why she hated him, beyond what criminal and debauched activities he took part in. He did have power over her, and she resented it. All of the people who had been drawn into this plot could be controlled by this man and his family, because they had positioned themselves perfectly. They had Serendipity, Jansen couldn’t help himself, and Rushe was a victim of his own isolation. The only person who could prevent Rushe’s permanent incarceration was Flick, here, by doing what Antoine told her to do.