The Idea of You

by Darcy Burke

  “I don’t think I’d do that, but I suppose I could have a meltdown.”

  “Like when I whispered in your ear at the wine tasting?” she asked.

  “More intense than that. If that had been a full-on meltdown, I wouldn’t have come back.” He followed her down the back hallway to the exit. “There was a time when we were doing the reality show that was particularly bad—it was much worse when I was younger. We were at the zoo up in Portland, and someone recognized us. It turned into a mob of people wanting to take pictures and get our autographs. I actually took a swing at this one kid who got too close. My dad had to pick me up—and I was already huge—and carry me away.”

  She turned and hugged him, catching him off guard. “I’m so sorry. Are you sure you’re okay?”

  He thought again of what Liam had said to him. “Yes, just don’t expect me to walk the red carpet with you.”

  She tucked her hand in his. “Deal, but I won’t lie—I sort of looked forward to that.”

  He led her across the parking lot. “Why?”

  “Because you’re amazing—and gorgeous—and I want everyone in the world to see how great I scored.”

  His stomach flipped. She sounded . . . proud. He loved the way that made him feel. He loved her. He glanced at her dark blonde head as she bent and fished her sunglasses from her purse. Yeah, he was pretty sure he did.

  Just as she put her sunglasses on, he cupped her face and kissed her. She leaned into him, sighing into his mouth as she clutched his shirtfront.

  A clicking sound drew them apart.

  “Shit.” She glanced at the photographers clogging the driveway. It was like an invisible barrier kept them from coming into the lot. She looked up at him, her gaze apologetic. “Sorry, I’m pretty sure we’re going to be on the home page of TMZ in about ten minutes.”

  Fucking fantastic. He ushered her into the car and quickly jumped in. The driveway to the lot was choked with paparazzi, but they slowly moved out of the way as he drove out. Probably fifteen cameras snapped at them as they made their escape.

  “Is that normal?” he asked.

  She frowned. “Not really. Someone told them we were there, and they came to wait for us.”

  “Who would do that? The guy who followed us here? I saw him in the group.”

  “I saw him, too, but no, I don’t think it was him.” She tightened her ponytail. “I hope it wasn’t that woman in the restaurant. Sometimes fans get pissed if you don’t give them what they want, and they’ll sic paparazzi on you.”

  “That’s evil.”

  She shrugged. “It’s also part of the game.”

  Evan didn’t like this game and wasn’t sure he wanted to play it. When they arrived at her house, there were a few more photographers waiting.

  “And these assholes got the call but decided to wait here to catch a photo instead of fighting for real estate with the ones back at the restaurant.”

  Evan gripped the steering wheel. “Can I run them over?”

  She laughed. “I wish! That sort of behavior hasn’t worked too well in the past. Ask Sean Penn or Alec Baldwin.”

  She opened the gate with a remote. Evan worried the paparazzi would follow them in, but they didn’t. At least they seemed to follow some sort of rule book.

  He drove into the garage and shut the car off. “How do you put up with that?”

  “I just do. Though lately it’s been bothering me more than normal.”

  He looked over at her. “What’s going to happen when I leave now? I have to meet up with Sean and catch our flight back to Portland.”

  “Just drive straight out. They’ll take pictures, but they’ll get out of your way.”

  “I can’t promise I won’t accidentally run over one of their toes.”

  She leaned over and kissed him. “Be careful.” She pulled back and looked at him intently. “I’m so glad you came. I’ll see you this weekend.” He felt much better about seeing her at home, without all this nonsense.

  She pulled her phone from her sweatshirt pocket and read a text message. “Crystal says she’s getting calls asking who you are.” She looked up at him. “What do you want her to say?”

  He ran his hand through his hair. He had no clue. “Is ‘no comment’ still a thing?”

  “It can be, but they’re going to find you online somehow. Somewhere someone is already looking for your image or trying to piece together who you might be.”

  She looked back down at her phone. “They’re calling you my boyfriend.”

  Because he’d kissed her without thinking. Shit, was he going to have to scrutinize everything he did with her in public? Because if that was the case, he didn’t think he could. He was barely capable of censoring things he said and did as it was. Impulse control was a ferocious beast to someone like him.

  He needed to get out of here before his senses spun out of control. “I need to get my stuff and pick Sean up at his hotel.” He jumped out of the car.

  She met him around the front and grabbed his wrist. “Are you sure you’re okay?”

  “No, but I will be. I just need to get out of here.”

  She flinched and let go of him. “I’m so sorry.”

  “It’s not your fault.” But she couldn’t change who she was. And right now he wasn’t sure if he could handle that—at least not here. “I’ll be fine. I’ll see you Friday.”

  Things would be better when they were back in Ribbon Ridge.

  Chapter Twenty

  EVAN PICKED ALAINA up at the airport Friday afternoon, and they spent the evening having dinner at The Arch and Vine with Tori, Sean, Dylan, and Sara. Alaina hadn’t gone to any trouble to disguise herself, nor had they sat behind a screen. Much to her surprise—and delight—no one had approached her. They’d been left completely alone. Like normal people. If she wasn’t already in love with Ribbon Ridge, she would’ve fallen like a rock.

  Today, they’d started the day wine tasting with all of the Archer kids who were in town, and they’d just finished a fabulous picnic lunch prepared by Kyle and eaten on a covered patio at one of the wineries.

  Kyle stood up with his glass of sparkling wine, which they’d picked up at the last winery, and yelled for everyone to be quiet. “I’m glad you were all available today—especially you, Alaina.” He smiled at her before directing his next comment to the entire group. “It’s our good fortune to share our news with you.”

  Sara gasped and covered her mouth. Kyle grinned. Then he held his hand out to Maggie, who sat beside him. She fished something out of her pocket and slipped it on her finger. The shouts and cheers nearly overwhelmed Kyle, but he merely raised his voice. “Luckily for me, Maggie has foolishly agreed to become my wife. So it looks like we’re going to have another wedding to look forward to. That said, we’re not waiting as long as some of you other people. But we’re not scrambling to Vegas either.” He looked directly at Tori and Sean as he said this, and Tori stuck her tongue out at him.

  Sean yelled, “Why not? Worked out great for me.” He put his arm around Tori and pulled her close to kiss her cheek.

  Tori smiled from ear to ear, and the joy surrounding Alaina was practically a living, breathing thing.

  “So when are you getting married?” asked Sara.

  “September, if you think you’ll have time to put it together. We’d like to have it in the gardens that Maggie’s designing at The Alex, assuming we’re able to open the damned place.”

  “You could still have the wedding there and probably get away with it,” Derek said. “You’re actually an Archer.”

  Alaina leaned close to Evan. “What does he mean?”

  “Derek and Chloe got married up there last summer before the zoning was finalized, and we were fined for having a commercial event. We’re appealing the fine on the basis that it was a family event, but since Derek isn’t legally family, it could go either way.”

  “That’s lame.”

  Sara jumped out of her chair and circled the table to hug firs
t Kyle and then Maggie. “I’m so happy for you!”

  Everyone else followed suit, and wineglasses were refilled. Alaina congratulated them both. Part of her wondered if she’d still be in the picture to attend the wedding, but it depended on her shooting schedule. She hoped it would work that she could come. Provided she and Evan were still together.

  She looked at him askance as he hugged Kyle. He’d seemed pretty relaxed since she’d arrived yesterday, but they hadn’t directly discussed him being outed as her probable boyfriend. The press had figured out his identity and publicized that he was both a former reality TV star and that he was on the autism spectrum. So far no one had tried to contact him, and Alaina’s camp had declined to comment. But they could only deflect for so long. Then what would happen?

  It was just so frustrating. Other actors had been able to successfully withdraw from the microscope, but it was far easier when they moved out of Los Angeles. It was time for her to get serious about relocating, and she would—after this movie.

  A wave of unease swept over her, making her feel slightly dizzy. She’d been carsick on the winding roads leading to the three wineries they’d visited so far, something she was prone to, especially on dull, gray days like this one. Even though they were outside, they were under a cover with two walled sides. She wanted to feel a breeze to regain her equilibrium.

  She turned to Evan, who’d just finished hugging Maggie. “I’m going to take a walk for a few minutes. Clear my head a bit.”

  He looked at her with concern. “Are you still feeling carsick?”

  She shook her head. “I’m better since I ate. I just want to stretch my legs.”

  “I’ll come with you.”

  “I don’t want to take you away from your family.”

  He laced his fingers through hers. “You’re as important to me as they are. Come on.” He tugged her along the path toward the fountain. His words sunk into her chest and fed her soul. She’d thought a lot about their future and hoped they’d be able to make it work. She was afraid she’d be devastated if they couldn’t.

  “I’m so happy for Kyle and Maggie,” she said.

  “I shouldn’t be surprised, since they’ve been together since last summer, but I didn’t think Kyle would ever get married. I always assumed he, Liam, and I would be permanent bachelors.”

  She slid him a sideways glance as they neared the fountain. “Do you still think that about yourself?”

  He flashed her a quick look. “I don’t know. You’ve completely turned my world upside down, Alaina Pierce.”

  “I hope that’s a good thing.”

  He lifted her hand and pressed a kiss to the back. “I think so.”

  She was so happy that things seemed to be on track between them. She just tried not to think about the baby situation—now that she was about to sign on for the role of a lifetime and postpone her plans, she saw no rush to discuss a future that far out. She was more concerned about the present and Evan’s ability to handle her fame. “Even with the whole world knowing—or at least suspecting—you’re my boyfriend?”

  His shoulder twitched, but that was the only indication that her question maybe tweaked his senses. “It’s weird, but nobody bothers me here in Ribbon Ridge.” He smiled at her. “So far, I’m good.”

  They moved past the fountain, and the path circled around to a short set of stairs that led to an expansive deck, which in turn would take them back to the patio situated next to the tasting room.

  They walked up the stairs, and he pivoted. “Check out the view from here.”

  She slipped her arm around his waist as he draped his arm around her shoulders. “It’s so pretty. I could really see myself living here.” She hadn’t meant to bring that up now; she’d been planning to broach the topic tonight when they were alone. She wanted to tell him how much he meant to her, how much she’d come to care for his family and his home.

  Footsteps on the deck followed by a familiar clicking sound spun them around toward the tasting room. A photographer she didn’t recognize snapped several pictures before coming forward. “Afternoon, Miss Pierce. I wonder if you and your boyfriend wouldn’t mind posing for a picture. That’s a great backdrop, even with the gray sky.”

  Anger fired through Alaina. “You’re intruding on a family event.”

  The paparazzo frowned. He wore glasses and pushed them up his nose. “This is a public space.”

  “Don’t be a jerk,” Alaina said. “You got your pictures. Just go.”

  “I’m hoping for more than that.” He took a few steps toward them, and Alaina moved closer to Evan, who put his hand against her lower back. “You never said what you were doing at that clinic a few weeks back. Are you guys having a baby together? I understand you’re taking fertility treatments.”

  Alaina went absolutely cold. “How do you know about that?”

  The photographer shrugged. “Doesn’t matter, but I know it’s true. Boyfriend doesn’t look too happy about that, though. In fact, he looks surprised.” He snapped more pictures of Evan.

  Alaina turned to look at him—his eyes looked dazed. She wanted to haul off and deck the photographer.

  “What the hell is going on?” Kyle strode onto the scene, followed by pretty much everyone else.

  The paparazzo took a step back. “Just doing my job. I think I’m done here.”

  Kyle scowled at him. “You bet you are. Take off. Unless you need us to help you.”

  The asshole lifted a hand. “Nah, I’m good.” He had the gall to flash Alaina a grin. “Thanks for your time.”

  “Screw you,” she said, trembling.

  Evan withdrew his hand from her back and stepped away.

  She turned and moved toward him. “Evan. Can we talk about this?”

  His gaze didn’t even come close to finding hers before he simply turned and stalked away.

  EVAN’S INSIDES WERE in absolute turmoil. He wanted to shout and put his fist through the photographer’s face, but mostly he wanted to know why Alaina hadn’t told him the truth about the clinic, especially since she knew his stance on children.

  He walked away from the tasting room to the adjoining building that housed the winery. He sensed she was following him, so he turned. “I need to be alone.”

  She looked upset, her face pale, but he couldn’t worry about her. He needed to keep his shit together. He saw Tori rush forward to intercept her and turned to continue on his way.

  Once inside, he went down a flight of stairs to the winery’s business offices. No one was around on Saturday, so he dropped to the floor and did push-ups. He didn’t know how many he finished before he saw Alaina’s boots in front of him.

  “Go away,” he growled.

  “No. Tori told me not to bother you, but I’m tired of playing the part of an observer. If we’re going to be together, I want to be here for you. I’m committed to this, Evan. I’m committed to you.”

  He jumped up and glared at her briefly before averting his gaze. “Not committed enough to be honest.”

  “I deserve that. I should’ve told you the truth. But it’s private, and I didn’t know you very well. When I did want to tell you, after we’d grown close, you told me you didn’t want kids. How could I tell you then?”

  He couldn’t answer her. He was having a hard enough time thinking coherently as he went into survival mode. “I don’t want children. Ever.”

  “You might change your mind. I didn’t think I wanted children—not after the shitfest I grew up in. But I hit twenty-eight, and all of a sudden it was almost all I could think about.”

  He went to the wall, splayed his hands against the concrete, and began doing vertical push-ups.

  She moved to his side. “We can talk about this all you want. Now, later, whenever, but I won’t let you shut me out.”

  “I’m not shutting you out, I’m dealing with my shit!” His voice sounded loud, even to his ears, but he couldn’t modulate it. Not right now. “I am not going to change my mind about being a da
d.” He pushed back from the wall and rounded on her, shouting, “I am not father material. I’m an Aspie with ADHD. I like to be alone. I’m uncomfortable in crowds, sometimes even in my own family, and I hate the limelight. I’d be a shitty father, and more importantly, I’d be a shitty father to your kid.”

  She put her hand to her mouth. “I think I’m going to be sick.” She fled up the stairs, and he stared after her, pretty sure that was the end of his one—and probably only—attempt at a relationship.

  Hands shaking, he pulled out his phone and brought up his meditation app. He found a five-minute exercise and worked his way through it. When he was done, he felt better, but tension still stretched his muscles tight.

  He went up the stairs and tried to think of what to say to Alaina. And everyone else. Had they heard what the photographer had said? It didn’t matter, since it would be plastered all over the Internet in a matter of hours, if not minutes.

  Kyle was waiting for him just outside. His blond hair was damp, as a light mist had started. “You okay?” he asked.

  Evan glanced around. “Where’s Alaina?”

  “Maggie took her back to the apartment. Can I catch a ride with you?”

  “Sure.”

  Everyone was packing up from the picnic, and the mood had become subdued. That shift, particularly on the heels of Kyle’s tremendous announcement, only added to Evan’s discomfort. He stopped short. “Can we go now? Will anyone mind?”

  “You know they won’t. Go on ahead. I’ll be there in a sec.” Kyle jogged over and told everyone they were leaving.

  Evan went to his car and fired up the engine. His mind felt numb.

  Kyle climbed into the passenger side. “Do you want to talk about what happened?”

  Evan pulled out of the winery parking lot. “Not really. But when have you ever known me to want to do that?”

  Kyle’s lips curved into a wry smile. “Good point. I heard what that prick said about some fertility business. Is that true?” He shook his head. “I had no idea you two were that serious.”

  “We’re not. I didn’t even know about that.” He hated that she hadn’t told him. She’d gone on and on about how honest and transparent he was, how much she loved that. All while she’d been lying to him. “I feel like I’ve been duped.”