Life is Short But Wide

by J. California Cooper

  Herman ate the meal, fell in his bed without a shower, and slept soundly with a smile on his face.

  The next day the men started early. By noon they had completed the outside walls, and attached the gate. There were a few things not quite up to par, but nothing that could not be put off for another day.

  Myine had been busy all the morning making all the beds, three upstairs. Flipping the mattresses, putting on fresh, fluffy sheets and pillowcases, with pretty spreads. Vacuuming the carpets; just doing everything. She also began setting up for her dinner. Their dinner. A fresh broiled salmon fish with broccoli and rice with chopped parsley, and a tossed green salad.

  When the men had been at work for a few hours, or so, Myine put her head out of the window, calling out, “Herman? You are going to eat over here tonight. Alright?”

  Herman stepped back, and looked up, with dust and a little paint on his face, and in his eyelashes. Startled, he nodded his head, and said, “Yes, ma'am.”

  She asked, “When do you think you'll be ready to eat?”

  Cloud answered for him, “We're gonna quit here in another hour or two. What time you want him?”

  Embarrassed for no good reason, Myine said, “Well … in a couple of hours, I guess. Whenever he's ready to eat.”

  Laughing, Cloud said, “He's ready now.”

  Myine slammed the window down hard, before she realized they could not read her mind, and did not know what she was planning. “Juliet told him!” Then she was too excited to be angry. She thought, “I don't care, this is my life; our life!”

  In a few hours, Herman looked around the room they had built, almost satisfied. Cloud went home. Herman was tired, but he went to the florist, and bought a huge bouquet of mixed, colorful flowers.

  “It looks too bare out there right now for Myine to see how it's going to look; so I'll just set a small wooden table out there, with two wood chairs, for the time being, and set the flowers on it.” And that's what he did. Then he went home to shower, and try not to fall asleep.

  The chairs, table, and flowers were already in the sunroom when Herman rang the doorbell at about 4,:3o or 5:00 that evening. Myine opened the door with a bright, eager smile, and held her hand out to him. “Herman, come in, please.”

  Herman tried to respond with cool dispassion, “Myine, Myine.” While he was thinking, “Mine, mine. Oh, Lord, please let this evening go well. I don't want to scare her.”

  She had on a soft, silken, pale-green dress that buttoned down the front; she looked lovely in it.

  He smiled, pleased at her effort. “You dressed for … dinner?”

  “Oh, Herman, this ole thing? I thought it might lift your spirits. I'm always in … some ole pants, or worn-out dress.”

  “You always look good. Always.”

  They enjoyed a good dinner, and after, she gave him a few vitamin pills. “I know you work hard, Herman, and I know you don't always eat right. You need a little extra.”

  “Oh, I can always use a little extra. Thank you. Say, you want to go downstairs and see how your room will look when we're through?”

  Myine stood, ready to go, “Yes. I've been, but I want to go again. I'm so excited, Herman.”

  “I am, too. I hope you like it.”

  As they started down the steps to the basement, Myine was in front of him. He put his hands on her hips, and held them there all the way down, saying, “Don't fall.” Her hips seemed to roil beneath his tender hands.

  She laughed, saying, “Herman, I've been coming down these steps for years.” But, she didn't remove his hands, and neither did he.

  There was a door to the sunroom, for privacy within the house; he made a little show of opening it. “Open O'sesame!” Then she walked slowly into the room that was empty except for a large, low-shag, sky-blue rug in the middle of the room.

  Myine blushed as she said, “I put that here today after you left.” They laughed, and he said, “It's pretty. I'm glad you are thinking of your new room!”

  “Oh, Herman, I could never come in here without thinking of it as ‘your’ room. You built it.”

  He was right on the verge of happy as he said, “Okay then, let's say our room.” She was on the verge of happy, also.

  He led her to the doorway leading outside, and opened it, showing the little table with a huge bouquet of flowers on it, and two chairs.

  She loved everything. Love was in the very air of the rooms. Herman moved the table so it would be in front of the chairs, and put the two chairs closer together, playfully saying, “Have a seat, ma'am.” He sighed, saying, “It does not look so good right now, but I'm going to make a little Japanese waterfall. And plant a delicate, slender tree, and some small evergreens. I was thinking of putting a big aquarium tank in that room, so you can get a whole new feel to the house down here.”

  “Oh, I love it, I love it, Herman.” She turned to look at him, “I do, I really do. It's strange how little changes can make such a big difference.” She reached for his shoulder, to pull him toward her, then he gently dragged her chair closer to him.

  Herman smiled down at her, getting ever so close to crossing that verge of happiness, right into it. “Well, thank you, Myine. Now, let me ask you something. I look at all this work we did in here, and … I wonder. Do you think I could have a kiss? A real kiss?”

  Myine blushed, for no reason except her shyness, and said, “Oh, don't ask me that, Herman. You don't have to ask that. Of course, you …” She leaned over to kiss him, but he stood up. “I don't want a side kiss, I want a kiss. Don't blush, Myine. It's just a kiss.”

  Myine stood up, stepping closer to Herman, as she lifted her face. He held her face with one hand, while pulling her real close to him with the other. When he raised his face from hers, he didn't step away from her, he held on to her, and asked, “Do you know how long I've wanted to do this?”

  Myine stood silent, still looking up at him, her lips closed, but smiling. He smoothed her hair, and murmured sweet sounds in her ear as he pressed her body even closer to his. He raised his head, his eyes searching into her eyes, slowly, steady, slowly, before she closed them. She felt his warm, soft lips on hers. She felt the muscle in her lips let go as she kissed him. Her lips, then, bloomed and softened under his lips; as did her body.

  Feelings were rushing through her body, and suddenly she was overwhelmed by a delirious joy as she clung to him. She was filled with such a hunger she had never felt before. “I desire him,” she thought to herself, joyously, “I want all of him in all of me.”

  The sounds of the wind in the trees, a distant roaring in her ears, were mixed inside her head. She seemed to feel the earth spinning beneath her feet. Her heart sang. “Is that my heart?” she asked herself. She opened her eyes and saw the stars, bright as flames; and Herman.

  Her knees weakened; he put his arms closer around her and lifted her into the empty room, onto the sky-blue rug on the cement floor, into the darkness; hot, struggling, and full of the voices singing in her heart.

  She remembered what Juliet had told her about relaxing, and picturing what he was doing to her, in her mind. The emotional feelings broadened, physical sensations widened, everything expanded the feelings she felt as he entered her body with his. Suddenly, something in her hips made a spreading, tender explosion, and her body and head were filled with the sound of her body singing.

  In a moment, he started to say something to her, but she stopped him with her fingers. “No, just let me lie here, and feel the feelings of you and me. Us.”

  He held her tightly, but tenderly, and murmured in her ear, “That was my hope, forever and ever. For you and me. Us.”

  She had not needed the jelly-crème this time.

  He had moved past the verge of happiness, over the edge, and was deep in the center of his happiness, finding ecstasy, and rapture there. He had brought her with him. He didn't come alone over the verge, and into the depths of love; they journeyed together.

  (My My My My)

  Now, life
being life, and love being love, in no time at all, Herman took Myine to be his wife at the earliest possible time. Myine couldn't stop smiling, and Juliet was smiling, too, throughout all the days, as she baked the wedding cakes, and sewed here and there on things she wanted to give Myine.

  Myine wore a simple long white silk dress, and a veil. Her bouquet was made up of purple orchids and pretty branches from the foliage on the land. Herman wanted her to have a grand bouquet, but Myine told him no.

  She said, “You must not understand. This way, with the foliage from here, all my family will be with me.” That was what she wanted. Herman didn't really mind; he was going to be part of her, part of her family. He smiled to himself, “My family at last!”

  It was a small wedding in the front parlor of the main house: “home.” All through that week, every time the couple passed near each other they brushed against each other, touching in any way possible. Smiling all the time.

  Herman, naturally, moved from his garage apartment into his new home almost before it was possible, doing everything at once. But, Myine wanted him “home.”

  After the small family wedding, no one had to leave because everyone who was at the wedding was already home, except the minister.

  Of course, Lola was there, beaming. Poem flew over from France a few weeks later to see Myine's new husband. She liked him, but it didn't matter to Myine anyway. Poem looked beautiful in her Parisian clothes. Myine held the young woman, as she said, “Girl, pardon me. Young lady, you look beautiful. I know your grandmother and Monee are proud of you!”

  Then they talked of Tante's ill health. “She is old, Aunt Myine. Older than you. But she still dresses every day, in case someone comes to call. I don't think she will be with us much longer. Her health has suffered for a long time now. She thinks it is a secret, but we know. She can hardly get around without a walker, and some help. She always liked secrets.”

  Poem left, traveling on to New York for some conference in international business affairs. Her mother had wanted her to major in business law and administration, and she had.

  She came back to Wideland on her way home, to tell Myine she was coming back to live there awhile. Herman and Myine took her to look at some land, but she wanted the old house right across the street that was for sale, cheap, and sitting on several acres.

  Herman told her, “Poem, that house is cheap, but it will cost you a fortune to fix it up for you to live in. A fortune!”

  She answered, speaking to Myine, “I don't care. The best time of my life was living here with Aunt Myine, in peace. I miss it. I miss the trees, and the grass, the animals; just everything country. The space! I live in a beautiful city, but you know what I really want?”

  She turned to Herman, saying, “I want a cow, a dog, a cat, some chickens like we used to have, and lots of land of my own to walk around on. Like you, Aunt Myine.”

  She looked thoughtful a moment, then said, “I met a nice man at the conference. It might develop into something. But, even if that does not turn into anything, I still want to come here, home, to live and breathe again.”

  Herman and Myine left her desires to her own decisions. They gave her the keys to Herman's old garage apartment. “This is your place when you come to get your house ready.”

  Herman's stepsons, James and Jerome, lived in Philadelphia and San Francisco, respectively. He told them, “This is your apartment when you are in town with your families. You'll be at home here. Myine and I just don't want anyone to live there all the time. It takes away from our space and peace. But we love you, and you'll be welcome.”

  Even Wings Val used the apartment when he came home on breaks from college. When he was graduated with a computer science master's degree, he was going to be on the road and in the air a great deal traveling for his work. He was still young, but had decided he didn't want to keep living in any large city.

  When Poem, who had returned to France for the moment, and with whom he had grown up, called him, she wanted to discuss a few things about her new property. They made a deal. “You help me rebuild my house, and I'll let you build one for yourself on the land.” Poem knew she would have many helpers; Herman and Cloud. They may be older men, but they were certainly capable, if only to supervise. Further, she knew someone needed to be living on land, or it would just decay. Land, like a heart, has to be loved to really live.

  Herman and Myine watched all the progress around them happily, as long as it was not too close. Cloud and Juliet felt the same way.

  So, the next few years passed smoothly, and quickly. Herman and Myine built such a happiness as to compare with any happiness on earth. A happiness that did not depend on money or looks. Using, or being used. They were happy, and content. Of course, everyone who happened to have a chance to be around either of them felt their joy in living.

  They had the usual human problems: taxes, health, if they didn't take care of themselves, small debts; nothing they could not handle. They grew all their own food; vegetables and several fruits from their trees. They had a glass of wine with their dinner sometimes. They didn't celebrate Christmas because they discovered Jesus Christ wasn't born December 25, it was a day to profit business stores. But they had eggnog at New Year's celebrations at home.

  They didn't have many people in their lives, so it was comparatively simple, quiet, and problem free.

  Herman and Myine had sex whenever they felt like it. If they had to wait they waited. But patience and love were woven through their days of marriage. The sex was always good, because it was in their heads and hearts, as well as their bodies.

  Herman and Cloud still had their machine shop that could have stayed overloaded if they hadn't refused some jobs. It paid well, more than they needed.

  Herman liked to buy things for Myine; perfumes, silk scarves, flowers. He had music he liked to play for her in the evenings when they sat on their porch in the swing, or downstairs in their sun-garden, sitting in the dark. Juliet told Cloud, “Myine is happy, chile!”

  When Wings was at home, he began to set up a computer for automobiles for his father, because so many things had changed in the automotive industry, becoming computerized. Half heartedly, Herman and Cloud waited, and watched, to see how it all worked out. They never did really understand it, and seldom, if ever, used it.

  They really felt semi-retired, so new things, to them, did not matter. They felt too tired to bother learning new things, but … just in case, they listened to Wings.

  What everyone wanted was to see what kind of young woman Wings would bring home; who would share in their life. Well, he took his time. He liked to spend time out on the reservation with his relatives, as well as travel.

  He liked trips to New York, or San Francisco. He flew to France to visit Poem once. She gave him the use of her house and a map. They had lunch or dinner together several times. They even cooked a meal at home, together, a few times, laughing and talking about “ole country Wideland!” Even discussed plans for their houses on her land.

  Myine went regularly to the Jehovah's Witness Hall on Sundays, and often, Herman went with her. Cloud asked him about it, because Herman had said, “I don't like organized religion. All the people I hear on TV lie a lot, and beg for money. If I want to learn about God, I go to my Bible.”

  When Cloud asked him about the Hall, Herman sighed, and took a moment to answer. “Well, Cloud, you know I don't like liars. And you know it's not hard to see through most of the people preaching in this world. But … these people … every time they tell you something they hold that Bible up in your face and make you read it for yourself! It's hard to lie about the Bible that way.

  “And another thing, they make you study that Bible; you can't read just one scripture and let it go. You have to study. I know people who say they skip all over the Bible. But, listen. I studied mechanics, and we had to read many books dealing with mechanics to learn all we could about the work.

  “Well, it's the same thing. The Bible has sixty-six books in it. The Ol
d Testament, and the New. All these people are talking about Jehovah God, and Jesus; the past, and the future. When they skip around from one chapter to another, they are reading what each one said about their own experience with Jesus and God. So skipping around is necessary for a person to get a full picture of things. Focused on one subject at a time.”

  Cloud looked thoughtful, because he respected Herman and his mind. Then he asked, “Why do they call Him Jehovah? Isn't it the same God for everybody?”

  Herman smiled, “Yea, that's the same thing I asked Myine.”

  “What'd she say, man?”

  “She told me, and showed me in the Bible, at Psalm 83:18. Don't laugh at me, man. I have remembered a lot of things that were worth less.” He laughed, briefly, then continued, “Anyway, He says His name is Jehovah, Myine said, like in the prayer where everybody says, ‘Hallowed be thy name’? Well, God is not his name, God is what He IS, it is not his name.

  “So at that Psalm 83:18, it says, Thou whose name, alone, is Jehovah, is the most high over all the earth.' And, I'll tell you the truth, Cloud, I have heard people called many names out of that Bible; Jesus, Isaiah, Benjamin, and others, but I have never heard of anyone called Jehovah, but Jehovah. Now … how did that prophet know that, that long ago? Thousands of years ago?”

  Cloud looked at Herman, his best friend, very seriously. They had never written a contract, never did a thing but shake hands on anything. They never argued, or if they did, it was argued like a math problem; solved and forgotten. “And,” Cloud thought, “Herman is not a dumb, silly man, by any measure.”

  He said to Herman, “My people believe that Nature is God.”

  Herman laughed, lightly and briefly, again. “Man, God created Nature. That's one thing I always liked about you; you are real, and I think your beliefs are real. But, I am learning, ‘Don't love the creation as much as you should love the Creator of the creation.’”

  Cloud answered, “We believe in a Supreme Creator, man, but my people keep it simple, and real. I can't speak for everyone, but we don't get involved in all this ‘Mine is greater than yours’ kind of mess. God is God; surely He will decide. He said not to judge, anyway, man.”