Protecting You (A McCord Family Novel Book 1)

by Amanda Siegrist

  Bleeding. She had never bled like this in her life.

  He ran toward her, knocking her into the dresser before she could reach the doorway to freedom. Cringing from the pain of the drawer knob slamming into her back, Ava blocked another swing of the knife with her right forearm. More pain slashed up her arm as the knife cut her faintly.

  The brute strength in the man was undeniable. The other woman had died. Multiple stab wounds. She felt death looming as well. Yet, quitting knew no bounds in her vocabulary. She refused to give in without the fight of her life. She raised her knee again.

  Her firearm jabbed the top of her thigh as they fought against the dresser. She had to grab for it. Why the hell didn't she do that right away?

  He must've seen her reach down because he dropped the knife, slamming her harder into the dresser. Ignoring the pain from the drawer knob digging deeper into her back, she pushed back. He clung tightly to her shirt. The momentum of the push brought them near the window cushioned between the dresser and bed. The man turned her around slightly, shoving her toward the window, not letting go once. The force sent them both out the two-story window.

  The sound of glass breaking deafened her as tiny shards sliced her body. No more than twenty seconds could've gone by since he burst out of the closet. Officer Sampson had to have heard her scream.

  The wind swept through her hair as the notion of preparing for impact flickered briefly. Before she could react in anyway, her body hit the pavement hard.

  Sounds muffled in the air, her name drifting to her ears from a distance, her mind foggy. Nothing was clear as she lay suffering from every point in her being. The need to breathe a simple breath of air, a struggle. Her arms wanted to move, but her mouth wouldn't even cooperate to suck in a deep breath.

  A small gasp finally escaped as she attempted to roll into a sitting position, only managing a brief twitch of her body. Her head rang, pounding. She had to get up. Blood slowly dripped down the side of her face as a fire lit up inside her body with the pain radiating everywhere. The bruises on her back from the dresser, the tiny slices covering her body, it all made it hurt to move. It was as if time halted. She saw everything happen. She felt everything happen. But she could only lay there.

  Out of the corner of her eye, the man struggled as well, but not as bad as her. She forced her hand to grab for her gun, feeling nothing but smooth pants.

  The sleek feeling in her hands turned rough when she came across a rip. She'd have to buy new pants. She hated shopping, the decisions it came with. It took her forever to find the perfect outfit, as she could be particularly picky. She would have to drag Ashley with her. She had an essence of moving the chore with ease—throwing decent clothes in Ava's arms when the irritation hit her that it was taking too long.

  The ringing in her ears rapidly pierced through her, increasing in strength, the sound as if a fire alarm was going off inside her. Scarcely moving her head to shake it away, she tried to remember what she should be doing. It hit her instantly when she moved her hand back up her body and felt the oozing substance in her hair. Slowly, she forced her body to sit up. Halfway there, a gun centered into her vision.

  One second she was facing the barrel of a gun, the next second she was falling backwards as a body knocked her down. A sharp zinging ache pierced her right shoulder. Her world shifted into slow motion.

  The sensation of a bullet tearing through her skin. The force of the body knocking her back. The heavy feeling of someone on her. A warm sensation filtered in, wetness spread onto her shirt, soaking right into her body.

  "Officer down. Officer down. I need a bus now."

  A body on her. Bleeding slowly. But to move was unimaginable. Again, time slowed to a stop. Her brain tried to focus on what her eyes just saw, what her body just felt.

  "Ava! Detective McCord!"

  What? Jimmy was here. Everything would be okay. She tried to sit up and focus.

  Then more pain zapped her as someone shoved her back to the ground. "We have to stop the bleeding. Maybe you should lie back down, Ava."

  Ava finally looked at Officer Eaton, who had been standing outside when she arrived, trying to press into her wound. It flooded her shirt in a bright red fashion. Then she turned her head at the body lying next to her and started screaming. "Jimmy! Oh my God!"

  Her eyes zeroed in on his chest where blood poured out in a steady stream. Immediately sitting up, the dizziness rushed over her. She ignored every ounce of pain as she put her hand over his wound and tried to staunch the bleeding.

  "Where's the ambulance? He needs an ambulance," Ava screamed as she shoved Officer Eaton off her shoulder.

  "Ava, please. I need to stop the bleeding. You're losing too much blood," Officer Eaton said as Officer Sampson stood near the suspect who had been shot as well, unsure of what to do, the terror written on his face.

  "No. Help me with Jimmy. Help me," she cried, pulling Jimmy closer to her, almost cradling him in her arms. "Please, Jimmy. Hold on. The ambulance is on the way. You're going to be just fine. Hold on."

  Ava tried to press harder into his wound, but the wooziness crept back in. She looked over at Officer Eaton. "Help me."

  Officer Eaton ignored her as he tried to clamp a hand over her wound again. She shoved at him. "Help me with Jimmy."

  "Ava, listen to me. Detective McCord is—" Officer Eaton started to say. "We have to stop the bleeding. Please let me help you."

  Ava pulled Jimmy closer to her body and started crying. "Jimmy, please. I got you. I'm stopping the bleeding. You're going to be just fine."

  Sirens sounded in the distance. "The ambulance is almost here. Jimmy? Do you hear that?"

  Her head started to spin. The ambulance pulled up. Doors slammed. Paramedics running towards them. The next moment—nothing but blackness.

  ***

  Zane walked out of the barn and headed to the building they built for their offices, not too far from the barn itself. He had built the office a few years ago, hating to trample inside the clean house when he wanted to go over paperwork. Eleanor, their long time cook and all around housekeeper, appreciated that gesture.

  The farm wasn't large by some people's standards, but large enough for him. They owned roughly a hundred cows, about forty hogs, some chickens, horses, and a few goats—because his mother had loved goat milk. Maintaining his animals, the grounds around the house, the fields that covered almost 300 acres, kept him busy. It took hard work and plenty of his time. The farm passed from his father from his father and so on. He had thought he and his brothers would run it together, but it hadn't turned out that way.

  Austin was still on the farm, but chomping at the bit to leave. Zane made him feel guilty about it, forcing Austin to stay—making Zane feel guilty for making him feel guilty. He felt like he already lost one brother, he didn't want to lose another.

  It was his own damn fault. He only had to call Jimmy and apologize. But he couldn't do it. Call him stubborn. Most people did anyway.

  He opened the office door and stepped inside. Austin sat at his desk, typing furiously away at the computer.

  "I hope it's work you're doing and not game playing," Zane muttered, as he sat down in his chair.

  Austin stopped typing and looked at him. "You would assume I'm just playing around. I'm entering the figures that were piling up from the winter. Thank you very much."

  Zane was just giving him a hard time. He thought Austin knew that, but sometimes he could be quite serious, so maybe Austin thought he wasn’t joking. Zane pulled open his ledger and started to mark down which pigs were ready for sale. Stalls one through ten looked to be close to the two hundred and fifty pound mark, which was what the local meat market liked for the size of the hog they bought.

  "You know, I'm going over what we planted last year over in the west field for corn, and I think we need to plant a little more this year. The field next to it has alfalfa. I think we could switch that to corn instead. We almost ran out last winter."

  Zane
looked up briefly from his ledger. "If you think so, then I agree. It was only a so-so crop last year. Hopefully, we'll have better luck this year. I noticed the automatic feeder in stall twenty wasn't dispensing correctly. We need to fix that today."

  Austin nodded. "Yeah, I can go look at it when I'm done here. I'm almost done. Did you check on Old Betsy today yet? How's she doing? Ready to calve?"

  "She's doing well. She's sticking close to the barn. Not quite ready, but she's close. Do you have to call her Old Betsy? She's not old—or a pet that requires a name." Zane looked exasperated as Austin gave him a ridiculous grin.

  Austin stared at him as he picked up a pen and started to twirl it, then took a small breath. "So, I talked to Jimmy earlier today."

  "Yeah, that's nice."

  "He's planning on coming home for Memorial Day. It's been a while since he's been home," Austin said hesitantly.

  Zane averted eye contact. "That'll be nice."

  "That's all you have to say. You haven't spoken to him in six months and all you have to say is—that'll be nice," Austin exclaimed. "Are you going to be that cordial when he gets here?"

  "What do you want me to say? It will be nice for him to come home finally," Zane snapped.

  "Yeah, but he's not staying home. You can't treat him like that and make him feel guilty when he comes. Maybe you two can finally work things out."

  "I have nothing to work out. He took sides with that despicable woman. He would be home right now if it wasn't for her," Zane grumbled.

  "That's not true and you know it. Ava is great. You would see that if you gave her a chance. If you just listened to Jimmy and how much he loves it in New York, you would know. Not everyone wants to be a farmer."

  "Including you?"

  "I'm not planning to leave you here alone, if that's what you're asking." Austin sighed. "I would just like to see you guys talking again is all. Be nice to him when he visits. He would've come home for Christmas, if not for your attitude."

  Zane glared at him. "I'll be nice. I promise."

  Austin smiled slightly.

  A knock sounded on the door. "Come on in," Zane yelled.

  The door opened and Chief Robert Tanner of the St. Joseph's Police Department stepped inside looking forlorn. "Boys. How are you doing today?"

  Zane stood up and shook hands with him. "Good. What brings you by, Chief?"

  "You should probably sit down, Zane," Chief Tanner said, quietly.

  "I think I'll stay standing, if you don't mind, Chief. What's wrong?" He didn't like the way the chief looked at him.

  "I received a call earlier. The NYPD wanted to call, but felt a person-to-person visit was more appropriate. Not delay the news." Chief Tanner took a deep breath. "Your brother Jimmy died today in the line of duty. I'm very sorry, boys." Chief Tanner almost choked out the last words.

  Zane's heart started to pound as the breath leaving his mouth almost suffocated him. He stood a few moments staring at Chief Tanner in disbelief. Did he really just hear the words he thought he heard? Perhaps he should've sat down.

  "I'm sorry, Chief. Come again?" Zane asked, hoping he heard him wrong.

  "I'm sorry, Zane. Jimmy died today. I wish I didn't have to say that to you. I know it's hard to take in," Chief Tanner said, solemnly.

  The words pierced his brain, soaring straight to his heart as they became louder in his mind.

  Jimmy died today.

  He suddenly dropped to his knees, burying his head in his hands. Deep retching sobs immediately poured out. The massive guilt settled right into his chest. It couldn't be true. His brother was coming home for Memorial weekend—Austin just said so. Yet, as he sat there breaking down, they settled in his mind. He would never see his baby brother alive again.

  ***

  Austin still sat at his desk, staring at the chief, who looked as if he could cry as well. He glanced at Zane, who sat on the floor, sobbing. He had never once seen his big brother cry, not even when their parents died. He had heard him in his room once, the door closed, and he thought the sounds might've been tears. But talking about their feelings didn't occur between them. They didn't break down like this in front of each other—or other people.

  He thought back to the words he just spoke to Zane about Jimmy coming home, about them making amends, the reality of it slamming into him. They would never make amends now. They would never talk through the problems and make Zane see how dumb he was acting. The plans he had started to form in his mind for Jimmy's trip home, how they could work it out. They all fluttered away as Austin stared at Zane's body shaking heavily. He imagined the same thoughts were running through Zane's mind. The guilt he must feel.

  Austin stood up, grabbing onto the desk. He took a deep breath and made his way to Zane. The floor felt like it could open and swallow him whole. His world had just tilted off its axis and he had no idea how to respond. But he knew he needed his brother who was still here.

  "Zane."

  ***

  Zane slowly lifted his tear-stained face and pulled Austin into his embrace. He didn't think about what he was doing or who was in the room. He needed to feel his brother's strength, as all his had left him. They all loved each other. They never showed it with affection of this sort. Zane couldn't stop his emotions, or the intense need to anchor himself to his remaining brother somehow. Austin was all he had left.

  As soon as Zane wrapped his arms around Austin, the dam burst. His tears mingled with his brother's, unable to hold them in, the reality of it all, tearing him up inside. They sat on the floor hugging each other as they both cried. It kept running through Zane's mind that Jimmy was coming home. He could make amends with him. Then it would slam into him like a punch to the gut that it wasn't a possibility anymore. His brother died, as he feared he would. He died thinking Zane hated him, mad at him.

  Suddenly, Austin pulled away and grabbed his arm. Zane looked at him and saw in his eyes that they needed more information. They needed to understand what happened. He didn't want that. Ignorance was bliss. He wanted it all to go away and pretend it never happened. He wanted to continue talking to Austin about Jimmy's upcoming trip home, the plans for how they would celebrate Memorial Day.

  Instead, he nodded at Austin. They stood up together as Zane wiped his face with his shirtsleeve. Get it together. He had to be strong. He was always the strong one.

  Zane sniffed his nose and tried to keep the tears back. He opened his mouth, but nothing came out.

  "How—" Austin cleared his throat. "How did it happen?"

  Chief Tanner stood in the same spot waiting for them to compose themselves. "He was responding to a crime scene. It wasn't properly secured and the suspect was hiding in the closet. The suspect fought with a crime scene tech and they went out a window. Jimmy just got to the scene when he saw his fellow co-worker fall. The suspect was able to grab a gun and went to shoot the crime scene tech, but Jimmy took the bullet instead. He shot the suspect in the process as well. He and the suspect both died at the scene. I'm so sorry. He was a good man. He was a good cop, I was told. I have contact information for you…for you to call them or go to New York. Or doing both," Chief Tanner said as he held out an envelope to Austin. "Let me know what you boys need. I'll be here for you."

  "Thanks, Chief. I'm sorry you had to be the one to tell us. I'm also glad it was you," Austin said, putting a reassuring hand on Zane's shoulder, who still hadn't spoken.

  What could he say? His brother was dead. Died thinking he hated him.

  "I'm sorry, too. Like I said, let me know what you need. I'll leave you boys now," Chief Tanner said, almost tearing up again. "I'll stop by the house and tell Eleanor. Stay strong, boys."

  Austin nodded. The chief walked out. "I'll call New York and get us some tickets out there."

  Zane simply nodded. He didn't know what else to say. What was there to say? His brother was dead trying to save the life of someone else. It sounded like him and it made Zane mad. He wasn't supposed to die so young. He should have stayed
home and helped run the farm.

  Zane pictured his face and the last time they spoke, the anger that swirled between them. The words spoken that couldn't be taken back, or the silence that endured within the past six months. He dropped back to the floor, sobbing from all the regret and guilt of never making amends with his brother.

  Chapter 2

  Zane stood next to Austin as the coroner placed the sheet back over Jimmy's face. He sucked in a silent breath to keep the tears from falling. They arrived in New York late last night. They hadn't been able to see his body until today, the next morning. Zane had insisted and nobody argued with him.

  He looked so pale, so colorless. It broke Zane's heart that his brother lay on a cold slab of metal, never to wake up again. Never see his smile or his ridiculous laugh. Never argue with him again. Never say sorry for treating him the way he did. Never make it up for not protecting him like he should have—loving him as he should have.

  ***

  The door slammed, rattling the house. "Austin! Jimmy!" Zane stomped into the living room where the two were playing video games. "What are you two doing? Dad told us to clean the stalls and you two are in here playing games."

  Jimmy turned around with a tentative smile. "Sorry."

  "No, no, no. Don't go that way," Austin exclaimed at the game. He threw the controller down when the music sounded at his character's death.

  "Austin," Zane hollered.

  Austin suddenly turned his head. "Oh, hey, Zane. Didn't hear you come in?"

  Jimmy laughed. "How couldn't you hear the slamming and the yelling he's doing?"

  Jimmy looked over at Zane, who glared, and his smile dropped as he stood up. "Sorry, Zane. We were just finishing the game. We were going to help as soon as it was over."

  Austin stood up. "Please. Don't apologize. Zane loves shoveling shit more than us anyway. That's your form of fun, isn’t it, Zane?"