Protecting You (A McCord Family Novel Book 1)

by Amanda Siegrist

  Zane glared at them and walked back out of the house.

  ***

  The coroner said he died instantly. That he hadn't felt anything. The bullet pierced his heart, not stopping, slamming into the other person whose life he saved. Zane wanted to feel better with the knowledge he saved another life, but he struggled with that.

  Thank God, Jimmy felt no pain. It would've been ten times worse to think his brother had suffered. He still didn't know who he saved. It didn't even matter. Nobody's life was more important than his brother's. Apparently, Jimmy had thought otherwise.

  "I'm so sorry for your loss again, gentlemen. Perhaps we could walk outside here and talk about his funeral arrangements," Deputy Commissioner John Rudy said, gesturing his hands toward the door.

  "I wish everyone would stop saying that. I don't care if you're sorry," Zane growled as he walked past Rudy.

  ***

  "Wow. Look at that one there. Looks like a nine-millimeter handgun," Jimmy said with a smile.

  Zane glanced at Jimmy and shook his head in amazement as they all three were sprawled in the fields looking at the clouds. "You always think that way. Why?"

  Jimmy turned his head to Zane. "I can't wait to be a cop, Zane. It's all I ever want to be. That’s the weapon I'll have when I move to New York and become a cop. Can't you see it in the clouds?"

  "Kinda specific. I see the shape of a gun, though. How about over there? That looks like a naked woman," Austin said as he pointed to the left with a grin.

  "You both are too much." Zane sighed. "What's wrong with the farm? It's great here."

  "For you it is, Zane. You've always loved the farm, but I want more." Jimmy turned to Austin. "I think your naked woman is kinda specific, but I can see it."

  Austin laughed. "Have you ever been with a woman yet, Jimmy?"

  "Oh, man. I'm not having that conversation with you, Austin—ladies man that you are. How about picking on Zane?" Jimmy replied, his cheeks blooming a deep red.

  Zane glared at Austin, who chose not to utter a word. Zane lifted himself up from the grass and brushed his pants off. "Dad will wonder where we are. He wanted that barn cleaned today."

  He walked away without them.

  ***

  Austin looked sheepishly at Rudy. "I'm sorry for Zane. He doesn't mean to be rude."

  "No need to apologize, Mr. McCord. He has every right to grieve in his own way. I take no offense to anything," Rudy said reassuringly.

  They started to follow Zane out. Austin abruptly turned back around just as he reached the doors and watched as the coroner slid Jimmy's body into his compartment. The ominous clicking of the door shutting close felt like a shockwave, as if he had been standing right next to a bomb and it exploded at his feet. The sound deafened him. It had been hard to look at him, but like Zane, he had needed to see him one more time.

  To think he would never see his brother walk into a room, grinning that goofy grin of his. Hear his voice speak with such eagerness, such happiness.

  ***

  "Hey, Austin. Man, it's so great here. The lights, the sounds, the people. It's everything I imagined. I met a woman today—Ava. Whew! She tore me a new one at a crime scene. Reminded me of Zane and thought they would get along really great, actually," Jimmy said laughing into the phone.

  "Zane, with a woman? He's too grouchy for women. I'm not sure I've ever seen him on a date before, not that women don't try. Now I was with a beautiful one yesterday. She had these legs—"

  "Please, Austin. I don't want to hear. All your women are the same." Jimmy laughed again.

  "That's true. But her legs—man. I'm glad to hear you like it. Zane's not happy. You know that though. I'm happy for you, worried, but happy."

  "Don't be worried about me. It's just like being a cop in Minnesota. Anything can happen."

  "Well, hey, I'll be there to visit soon so we can celebrate. I'd love for you to show me New York. Better find the hot spots for us to pick up some gorgeous women," Austin said chuckling.

  Jimmy laughed with him. "Yeah, that will probably not happen. I can't wait to see you. I'll try talking to Zane to come with you."

  "Good luck with that."

  ***

  Zane paced the tiled floors, eager to leave. Finally, Austin stepped outside the doors.

  He had to keep reminding himself that Austin mattered, too. It was difficult to do as the grief threatened to overwhelm him. He broke down immediately when he first heard the news, but had yet to succumb to that point since. Keep it together. That's all he had to do. Breaking down in front of Austin wouldn't happen again. He had to be tough. He had to be strong.

  "I apologize that Commissioner Rainer couldn't be here. His daughter was also injured yesterday in the incident and he's at the hospital with her, otherwise he would've been here," Rudy said with sincerity.

  Austin looked surprised and concerned all at once. "His daughter? How was she injured?"

  Zane stopped pacing and waited for Rudy to answer. What was with the abrupt change in Austin's voice?

  "She was the crime scene investigator that responded to the scene. She fought with the suspect and sustained a few injuries from the fall. She was stabbed in the left shoulder before she fell from the window and then she was shot in the right shoulder when the bullet—" Rudy paused. "When the bullet passed through Detective McCord into her. He really did save her life. He knocked her over a bit when he went in front of her. The bullet would've hit her directly in the heart. He's a true hero. She lost a lot of blood. She's not in the clear yet, so that's why he's not here. He wanted to be, but—"

  "No need for explanation. It's understandable. What's her name? I think I may know, but I just want to make sure," Austin asked, refusing to look at Zane.

  "Ava Rainer," Rudy said.

  Zane gasped in shock as Austin rocked back on his heels.

  ***

  "Ava, it's good to meet you. Jimmy failed to mention how gorgeous you were," Austin said with a suave smile.

  "Ooo, Jimmy failed to mention you were slick with words," Ava replied as she shook his hand.

  Austin laughed and patted Jimmy on the back. "I like this woman, Jimmy. You found a good one."

  Jimmy turned red in the face. "She's a friend—a co-worker, Austin. Behave, please. Keep your hands to yourself. She's been showing me the ropes around here. I've been very appreciative."

  "He's a good cop. You should be proud," Ava said to Austin.

  Austin pulled Jimmy into a side hug. "Oh, I'm proud. He's wanted this since he was little. I'm glad he found a great friend to help him along."

  "She is a great friend. Don’t know what I would do without Ava," Jimmy said with pride. "I'd do anything for her."

  ***

  The look of shock on Zane's face couldn't be interpreted in any other way. He couldn’t believe it. The one person he despised and blamed for the discord between him and Jimmy had caused his death. He died for her.

  If he thought he hated her before, he truly hated her now, despised her with every breath in his body. Her life was not more important than his brother's. She didn't deserve to live more than him. It was all wrong.

  He could care less if the Police Commissioner came and spoke to them. In fact, he didn't want to speak to the man and told Rudy as such.

  "I don’t wish to speak with the commissioner. Ever. Or hear anymore about Ava Rainer. Excuse me," Zane said as he walked away.

  He couldn't be near people right now. He was bound to explode and he wished not to do it towards Austin.

  He wanted to rush to the hospital and explode in Ava's face as he did the last time, but knew she couldn't fight back. It didn't seem fair. He needed a good fight. Hearing the news she was the one Jimmy laid his life down for was beyond devastating.

  Catastrophic.

  ***

  "Jimmy, it's time to go," Zane said through clenched teeth.

  Jimmy slowly stood up from his desk and tried not to look embarrassed as his fellow co-workers looked on at
the spectacle. "Zane. What are you doing here? Why are you telling me it's time to go?"

  "I won't have that woman speak to me that way or fill your head with nonsense any longer. You belong at home, not here."

  "You spoke to Ava. I sure hope you didn't say anything rude. She's my friend. No, actually, I would say she's one of my best friends and I won't have you treating her with disrespect. My life's here in New York and has been for five years. Accept it or get the hell out. I won't have you treating me like a child anymore because I'm not one. I love you man, but you need to stop."

  "If I walk out of here, I won't talk to you again. You're taking her side over mine," Zane said with quiet anger.

  "She hasn't done anything wrong. I'm not taking sides. Please, just support me," Jimmy pleaded. "I won't stop you from walking out that door if you can't accept where my life is at."

  Zane inhaled a deep breath, turned around from Jimmy's shocked face, and walked out of his life.

  ***

  Austin looked shameful again. "Ava and Jimmy were good friends. She could see how much he needed some support in this big city and they became fast friends. Zane doesn't get along well with her because of it. He's just taking Jimmy's death hard. He doesn't mean it. I would like to know about Ava's recovery. It all makes sense now. Jimmy loved her like a sister," Austin said, a tear forming in his eye.

  "Yes, I know. She tried to save him, I was told. The other officers tried to tell her he was gone, but she wouldn't listen. She doesn't know he died. She passed out before the paramedics even reached her. Like I said before, I take no offense to anything. Let's go over the funeral arrangements. I know it's not easy, but it has to be done," Rudy said, gesturing again for Austin to follow him out of the morgue area.

  "Of course. Thank you for all your kindness," Austin said as he followed Rudy out.

  The dismal walk out of the corridor was almost as bad as the walk into the morgue. It was hard knowing his brother lay back in that cold room. It was hard knowing his other brother was struggling. Austin felt in limbo as he followed Rudy out of the building, concerned where Zane ventured off, yet knowing he wouldn't show himself until he wanted to. Perhaps that was for the best.

  ***

  The slow beeping sounds awakened her, producing a steady rhythm that wanted to lull her back into a deep sleep. She found comfort in it for some strange reason, just as she found comfort in the hand embracing hers. She slowly opened her eyes and saw her dad smiling.

  "My baby girl. You finally came back to me," Peter said, kissing her hand, the relief plain in his eyes.

  Ava looked around the room. Flowers sat adorned on the table across the room, on the side ledge by the window as well. Small cards peaked out from the bouquets. Balloons stood near the flowers displayed with 'Get well soon', 'Thinking of you', amongst other things. Larger cards also lined the ledge in front of the flowers.

  "What happened?" she asked with a croak, her mind still a little groggy.

  Peter hesitated, the worry clear. "You were shot, stabbed…and fell two-stories. Don't you remember anything, sweetheart?"

  Ava drew in a small breath and tried to focus. Suddenly, it all came rushing back. Shivers consumed her. Her father held her hand tightly to control it.

  "It's okay, sweetheart."

  "Where's Jimmy? Is he in recovery, too? I stopped the bleeding really well," Ava whispered.

  "Listen to me." Peter paused. "Sweetheart, Jimmy didn't make it. He died at the scene. Nothing you could have done would have saved him. It was instant."

  Ava shook her head no—denial ringing in her ears. He couldn't be dead. It wasn't possible. He had to ask out Tiffany. He had to call his brother Zane.

  She gasped.

  Zane.

  He probably wished her dead right now. He blamed her for his brother staying in New York. He would blame her for his death. It was her fault. She couldn't deny it. He did die because of her.

  "Dad, Jimmy's okay. What room is he in?"

  Peter squeezed her hand tighter. "No, honey. He's not okay. He died. I'm so sorry. I know how close you were with him. He saved your life. I, for one, will be forever grateful."

  Ava shook her head again. "No, no. Don't say that. He's not dead. He can't be. I didn't ask for him to save me. I don't want him to do that. You're wrong. Where is he? I want to talk to him."

  Peter frowned as she started to cry. He stood up from his chair, sat on the bed, and pulled her into his arms. "It's going to be okay, honey. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." He rubbed her back lightly as he did when she was a child.

  Ava cried in her father's arms as she tried to lessen the pain in her heart, but it wouldn't come. She couldn’t believe she would never see Jimmy's beautiful face again, or hear him crack a silly joke. She just couldn’t fathom him not coming to her office and shyly asking about Tiffany.

  Trying to handle the overwhelming grief was a struggle. She wanted to drown in her tears from the weight of guilt and shame. He should've never died for her.

  "When is his funeral?"

  Peter leaned away from her to look her in the eye. "I'm sorry, sweetheart. He was buried two days ago. They held a remarkable service for a great man. You've been out a week. Your injuries were significant. We almost lost you, too."

  Speechless. No words came to her.

  She had missed her chance to say good-bye, to be there when he was laid to rest. "Where was he buried?"

  "Here. In New York. His brothers felt it was a proper place for him as he loved the city like he did," Peter said, pulling her back closer to him and continued to rub her back lightly.

  "Both brothers thought so?" she asked tentatively. Zane hated New York. She found it hard to believe he would want Jimmy buried here.

  "I don't know that for sure. I would like to think so. I never actually spoke to his brother Zane. Tried to at least. He took Jimmy's death hard, sweetheart. Austin asked about you, though, and is concerned—"

  "Dad, stop. I don't want to hear anymore. I'm tired. I want to close my eyes for a while," Ava said, pulling away and turned her back to him.

  Peter pulled the covers up closer to her chin and went to find the doctor.

  Ava curled up under the covers and started to cry the minute her dad walked out. She didn't want to hear about Austin—or Zane. She ruined their lives. How would she live with herself? How would they live knowing she was the reason their brother wasn't here anymore? The reason, according to Zane, why he never went back home to Minnesota.

  ***

  "No, no, move more to the left, Ava," Jimmy said, as he almost dropped his end of the couch.

  "Ugh. Jimmy, I can't move any further to the left. This damn thing will never fit through the doorway. Why did you have to buy a new couch?" Ava asked, annoyed, as she tried maneuvering the couch like he told her.

  "Because Austin is coming to visit for the first time, hopefully Zane will, too. I want everything to look nice. Like I'm doing well here. That other couch was disgusting and you know it," Jimmy said as he shifted his hands trying not to drop the heavy couch.

  "It was disgusting. But if I knew this couch would be such a hassle, I would've never talked you into this one. You're doing well, whether you have a nice couch or not. It's not like they will make you move back home over a disgusting couch." She scrunched her lips up as she tried thinking of how they could get the couch in without destroying the doorframe.

  Jimmy sighed. "You don't know my brother Zane like I do. He almost didn’t let me walk out of the house." Jimmy suddenly grinned. "Okay. Let's set it down while we ponder how to get this damn thing inside."

  Ava smiled in agreement, walking carefully as they moved a few steps and gently set the couch down in the hallway. Ava plopped down on the couch as Jimmy sat down next to her.

  "So, what do you think?" Jimmy asked as he looked at his front door.

  "I think you should've asked someone else to help you get this couch home. It's heavy."

  "Hey, you're the toughest one I know around her
e."

  "Yeah, but I'm the smartest one around here. I brought beer to give us the brains to figure this shit out," Mahone said as he walked up with a case of beer. He plopped down next to Jimmy, grabbing three beers out of the case, handing one to each of them.

  "That was pretty smart, Mahone. Doesn't happen very often for you." Ava laughed.

  "Why'd you need a new couch, Jimmy?" Mahone asked, giving Ava a simple smirk and took a swig of beer.

  "To impress my brothers, so they wouldn't make me come back home because I can't handle New York," Jimmy said with a straight face.

  "Wow! You Minnesotans are weird. That makes no sense," Mahone said laughing.

  "What makes no sense? Why are we having a party in the hallway on a couch instead of in the actual apartment?" Markus asked as he walked up to them.

  "Jimmy has deep-rooted issues and buying a couch makes it all better," Mahone said sarcastically, handing Markus a beer, scooting over so he could sit down as well.

  "Makes sense to me." Markus grinned at Jimmy.

  Ava and Jimmy laughed as Mahone rolled his eyes.

  Ava downed her beer and grinned. "I think I know how to get the couch in now."

  "What for? It's working great out here." Jimmy grinned back as he reached into the case and grabbed another beer for her. "I think my brother's will be thoroughly impressed."

  ***

  The tears flowed freely as her mind shifted from memory to memory of Jimmy. The laughs they had, the jokes they shared, the disagreements even. It all tore at her heart, knowing he was gone forever.

  Her dad came back in, sitting down in the chair quietly. "The doctor will be here soon. Everything will be all right, Ava. I know what he meant to you," Peter said softly, putting a comforting hand on her back.

  Ava kept her back turned, the sobs increasing in strength.

  I know what he meant to you.

  He meant the world to her. He was the best friend anyone could ask for. She had plenty of great friends—Ashley and Julie, whom she had grown up with. Markus, Mahone, and a few other great detectives, but none of them, at the moment, compared to Jimmy. He had been the best.

  She continued to cry as her dad lightly rubbed her back. Her mind floated back to the incident, wishing the blackness would take her back over. She didn't want to think anymore. She wished she had never woken up. It all felt like a terrible nightmare.