Protecting You (A McCord Family Novel Book 1)

by Amanda Siegrist

  Ava stood up stunned. "What do you mean a facility? I don’t need help."

  "Yes, you do. You're not eating. You don't leave this apartment. You were sitting in this room just staring into space I'm assuming. It's either professional help or the fresh air of Minnesota. Make your choice. If you don't come with me, your father will come and take you to the other place. I assure you. Call him," Austin said, still holding the phone out with a challenging eye.

  Ava saw it in his eyes. He wasn't lying. She believed him that her father would do that. She didn't think going to Minnesota was the best idea, but it was a better thought than entering an institution where a doctor picked her brain. Why couldn't everyone just leave her alone?

  "Zane agrees with this?" she asked nervously, avoiding eye contact with Austin.

  "It doesn't matter what he agrees to. I want you there and you're coming. That's what matters."

  Ava nodded and relented. She walked past Austin into the hallway to change and pack. She came out a few minutes later with a small suitcase, dressed in a T-shirt and jeans.

  ***

  Austin sucked in a breath at how the clothes hung from her body. She looked so unhealthy it broke his heart. He had barely recognized her when he first walked in. If she hadn't spoken, he wouldn't have known it was her. She looked worse than her father described. She was withering away right before his eyes and it saddened him.

  Then, just as swiftly it punched him in the gut, thankful she gave in to coming home with him. This would be good for her, for him—even Zane—who had no clue he was bringing her home. He didn't care about his reaction. The most unusual ideas sometimes turned out to be the best ones.

  Austin smiled, hoping she would smile back, but instead, she turned her head away. She was fragile and he had to remind himself of that. He had never seen her fragile, so this was new for him. He could still remember how her arm felt like pure bone as he held her earlier. The urge to throw up again overwhelmed him. Just a gentle squeeze and he probably could've broken her arm in two. So damn fragile.

  Time. It would all take time. He gently took the suitcase from her. "Come on. Our flight leaves in two hours. We should be home before supper, or close to it. Eleanor, our cook and all around second mother, makes delicious meals. You could use one."

  Ava said nothing and followed him out. They made their way to the airport, silence the entire way. As they flew to Minnesota, he tried to engage her in conversation, but she refused to talk. Instead, she leaned her head on the window and closed her eyes.

  Austin sighed in frustration at her lack of cooperation and knew it would be a rough road ahead, especially with Zane in the mix. When he flew to New York, he had no idea this is what would happen, but knew it was the right call. He just hoped it all worked out in the end.

  ***

  "Hey, Austin, how's the weather fairing there?" Jimmy asked into the phone as he made his way out of Ava's office.

  "You know how it is. It's April. Starting to get a little nicer, but we still have some cold spells. Getting the fields ready soon. Pray for a better summer. Winter was rough this year with the crops from last year. How's New York—and Ava?"

  "You know, great like always. On both accounts. Just got done visiting with her. I took a small break from interviewing witnesses on an assault case I have," Jimmy replied, as he walked back to his area in the precinct, a few officers waving at him as he walked by.

  "That's good to hear. Zane's just as grouchy as ever, if you were wondering," Austin said as he walked through the pig barn heading toward the exit.

  "Yeah, about that. Thinking I would come home for Memorial weekend. Haven't been home in a while and it would be nice to see everyone. Even Zane." Jimmy hesitated. "Maybe we can talk finally."

  "I'd love that, Jimmy. It'd be great to see you and for you to talk everything over with Zane. I can see he wants to make up, but you know how stubborn he is." Austin sighed. "It's been hard around here. Seriously, I would love for you to come home. He needs to see you."

  "Well, good. It's settled. Ava's been bugging me to call home, so she was happy to hear that I'm going home. She feels bad, you know. Actually, I tried to get her to come with." Jimmy laughed.

  "Yeah, not sure that would go over well with Zane. You know how he feels about her. But it's your choice. I love Ava. She's fun. It'd be fun to see them squabble over crap. She dishes out some good fighting words," Austin said, laughing with him.

  "Yeah, she does have a way with words. She's a fighter alright. Always looking out for me, that's for sure. She declined, though. I'm excited to see you guys. I may be here, but I do miss home," Jimmy said, as he sat down at his desk, grabbing for the case file he had been working on.

  "I can't wait to see you. Tell Ava I said hi next time you see her," Austin said right before he hung up.

  ***

  They made it to the farm a little after four o'clock in the afternoon, Austin thankful they made it before supper. Ava needed a good home cooked meal in her stomach. That's if she even ate. He grabbed her suitcase from the back seat and waited for her as she slowly exited the car. He glanced around quickly and was grateful not to see Zane. He wanted to tell him about Ava before he had a chance to see her. No angry explosions from Zane would be great. And that was asking a lot.

  "Welcome to the McCord farm. You'll like it here. I swear we can get through this together, Ava. I promise," Austin said, as he gently grabbed her hand and led her to the house.

  ***

  Ava ignored the comment, looking around, amazed how big it was. Directly in front of them, stood a big two-story white house with a large porch in front and a swing hanging on the left with two rocking chairs on the right. She instantly pictured Jimmy sitting on the swing with his mother when he was younger, right before she died of cancer.

  He regaled many stories of that front porch. How he treasured his nights swinging away in the nighttime breeze as the calm sounds of the farm sailed with them. The crickets, the barn animals, or even the occasional squeak of the swing as he talked with his mother about anything—everything. He had told her once that she reminded him of his mother. He could talk to her about anything, risk free of judgment. He said he had even enjoyed the nighttime peace on that swing with his brother Zane after his mother died. Zane had taken over for her when she left them all.

  Suddenly, she was afraid to be here. She didn't want to see Zane. See the anger, the hatred. She was still waiting for the hatred from Austin. Where was the hatred? That's all she felt inside. So much hatred at herself for allowing Jimmy to die.

  Tears threatened to flow. She drew in a small breath and kept looking around.

  To the left, a huge barn, also white, stood proudly with the air of hard work. She knew Jimmy grew up on a farm, so she assumed that's where the pigs and other animals were. She didn't know a lot about his farm other than the many tales he told her. It was bigger than she imagined.

  What did it look like inside? Curiosity swarmed her, but not enough to share that with Austin. She didn't even know why she wanted to walk in there. Seeing a simple swing almost made her cry. She couldn't imagine what walking into the barn where Jimmy had many more memories would do to her. She could also run into Zane. Anything to avoid him was what she wanted to do.

  Her mournful eyes kept trailing to the right where she landed on a much smaller building, also white. All of a sudden, she wanted to laugh. Maybe these silly men needed to add a little color here. Wasn't a barn supposed to be red, at least?

  Next to the smaller building, or more like situated behind it, sat several tall cylinder like structures. She thought they might be silos, but she wasn't positive since it was her first time stepping foot on any kind of farm.

  ***

  "Oh, man, I remember one time we were playing in the silos, jumping around in there because it was fun. Definitely weren't supposed to be doing that because Dad said it was off limits." Jimmy laughed at the memory. "I jumped wrong and hit the side of the wall before I landed. Broke m
y arm. Dad was pissed, but Zane stepped in and said he had been the one who wanted to go in there, even though I had pressed the issue at him. I was only ten."

  Ava picked up a piece of pizza, taking a quick bite as she said, "Looking out for you, huh? That had to hurt breaking your arm." Ava cringed with pain from thinking about it. "What's a silo for? Why weren't you supposed to be in there?"

  "That's where we keep the silage we make for the animals. You know, food. Mostly holds us over for the winter. It can be dangerous, especially the gases that form when you first fill it up. Dad always said it was off limits because of the danger it posed to us." Jimmy laughed. "Or breaking a limb."

  Ava laughed with him as he grabbed another slice of pizza.

  "Game is about to start. Let's go, Twins," Jimmy rooted.

  Ava glared at him. "Oh, no, my dear little friend. Let's go, Yankees. I may be tempted to throw you in a gas filled silo otherwise, if you say one bad word against them."

  "Game on. Have to find a silo first." Jimmy grinned.

  ***

  On the left side of the barn sat a small corral where three horses roamed around. She had been on a few horses in her time, but she was no expert. Suddenly, the urge to jump on a horse overwhelmed her. To ride away into the wind as far from Austin and the farm as she could possibly get. As far away from Zane as she could get. She didn't think she could handle this. Austin was certain that this was the right plan. It only made the pain worse inside.

  Before she could act on that crazy urge, Austin said, "Here, watch your step. This second board is somewhat loose. We've been meaning to replace it and just haven’t gotten around to it yet." He looked at her as the tears glistened in her eyes. "Are you okay, Ava?"

  Ava looked down to where he was pointing and shook her head yes without uttering one word. She carefully walked up the steps and into the house as Austin still held her hand. As soon as Austin shut the door, he let go of her hand, and a portly older woman with gray hair came into the foyer.

  "You made it. I'm so glad to finally meet you, Ava. Jimmy said such wonderful things about you when he called home," the woman said as she pulled Ava into a hug without asking. The woman pulled her slightly away after embracing her fiercely. "My poor child, you are paper thin. We'll fix that right up. I'm making pork chops, green beans and delicious homemade rolls because these boys around here like nothing better than homemade bread."

  Ava wanted to smile for politeness, but couldn't manage that simple task. "Thank you. I'm not sure I'm hungry right now."

  Austin stepped over by them. "You'll eat. No more starving yourself or whatever the hell you’ve been doing. This is Eleanor. The woman of many wonders I told you about. Her rolls are to die for, absolutely delicious. I still don't know how she does it because I tried once with Jimmy and they tasted horrible."

  "Oh, you silly boy, they weren't that bad. They were a little hard, but edible," Eleanor said with a chuckle.

  "I think I need to lie down. The flight wore me out," Ava interrupted.

  Austin looked like he was about to argue. "Of course. I'll show you your room and come get you when it's time to eat. There will be no arguments on that." He started to walk down the hallway, then turned to the left.

  Ava followed him. He stopped in front of the second door on the right and opened it. Ava smiled inside at the plain beauty. The simplicity drew her in. The charm that swirled around her brought her a touch closer to Jimmy in that moment.

  A queen-size bed sat in the middle with a gorgeous oak headboard. A nightstand that looked handmade out of oak, sat next to the bed. On the left side near the closet sat a dresser just as elegant as the bed. Several pictures hung on the wall, most of the boys when they were younger. Ava's soulful eyes zeroed in on Jimmy right away.

  She glimpsed at the door to the right side of the bed, assuming it was to a bathroom when Austin confirmed that. "It's small, but our only guest room. There's a connecting door to the bathroom right there and a nice dresser for you to unpack your clothes. You can stay as long as you want, or as long as it takes. Either way, make yourself at home."

  Ava turned toward him and nodded.

  Austin set her suitcase by the bed and walked out, closing the door softly. Ava walked to the bed, sitting down with a heavy heart, the weight of anguish crushing her. She wanted to crawl under the blankets and hide from the world. She was afraid, though, that Austin wouldn't allow that. Nervously clasping her hands, she wondered where Zane was and silently let the tears flow out.

  ***

  Austin made his way out of the house and to the office building. It was getting later in the evening and assumed that's where he would find Zane. He opened the door and stepped inside. Zane sat at his desk.

  Zane looked up from his paperwork. "You're back early. I thought the conference was a few days."

  "I didn't go to a conference. I went to New York," Austin said as confidently as he could.

  Zane leaned back in his chair confused. "Why would you lie? Why did you go to New York?"

  "To see Ava. I was concerned about her." Austin put his hand up to stop Zane from interrupting him. "She's in bad shape. She's worse than you, and you have been the worst grouch I've ever seen you be. You have a short fuse, hollering at people unnecessarily. This will be good for all of us. We all need to move on and heal."

  Zane still looked confused. "What will be good for us? What do you mean by bad shape?" Zane shook his head. "Forget I asked that last question, I don't care about her. I don't even want to talk about her. I told you never to mention her name in front of me. I haven't been that bad. It's just been a rough start to the summer."

  Austin sighed. "You're in denial, it's not even funny. You better be on your best behavior or you'll answer to me. I've had enough of everything going on around here and I won't stand for it anymore. I brought Ava home with me. She's in the house resting."

  Zane shot up from his chair so fast he knocked it over. "What the hell do you mean you brought her home? I don't want that woman anywhere near me, let alone in my home."

  "Well, it's not up to you. I want her here, so she's staying. Stay out of her way and ignore the fact she is here, or help me," Austin said, not falling into the trap of yelling back.

  Zane clenched his fists. "Help with what exactly? I'm not into helping her with anything. She took Jimmy from us."

  "First of all, she didn't do anything but be in the wrong place at the wrong time. If it wasn't her who had been attacked, it would've been somebody else. Second of all, the man who pulled the trigger took Jimmy from us, not Ava. And third of all, why don't you go look for yourself and see what I mean by helping me? It'll only take one look." Austin turned around and grabbed the door handle. He started to open it and then whipped around. "I mean it, Zane. Leave her alone if you can't be cordial. You're my brother and I love you, but I will deck you if I have to."

  Austin didn't wait for a response and walked out.

  ***

  Zane stood staring at the door. What had gotten into Austin? It occurred to him, he wasn't exactly sure, as they didn't talk much about anything anymore. The minute Jimmy died all the life inside him died as well. Austin had been partly right about him being a grouch. Lashing out was easier than dwelling on his guilt and regret with Jimmy.

  Zane picked up his chair and sat back down. The anger still raged inside. He wasn't sure he could be cordial to Ava. And damn. Never was he threatened by one of his own brothers. Over a woman, no less. One he despised. He wasn't sure how he felt about that.

  He stared at his computer screen until he could calm down, and even then, he remained in his chair, afraid of what would happen when he walked inside the house.

  Chapter 4

  Zane sat outside on the porch swing, enjoying the night air and the calming sounds of the farm. The brisk wind bit into him, but not enough to go grab a jacket. His phone started ringing, drowning out the distant moos he heard coming from the pasture. He always found the night sounds peaceful, even in the ligh
t of day. They settled his emotions better than anything else.

  "Hey, Jimmy," Zane answered.

  "Hey, big brother, how's life?" Jimmy asked sincerely as if he missed the sound of his voice, even though it had been only a week since they last talked.

  "Good. Busy. You know how it is. It might not be as bad if you were here," Zane replied, pushing his foot to make the swing continue its momentum.

  Jimmy sighed. "Can't I call and talk without you reminding me why I should be there instead of here? Ava, a friend of mine—"

  "I don't wanna hear about that friend of yours. She doesn't sound like a good influence, not with what I hear."

  "And just what do you hear? Besides things from me, and maybe Austin, which is all good things. So she encourages me to speak out more. What's wrong with that?"

  "Doesn't matter anyway. Just come home already. I miss you," Zane said with a slight pleading tone.

  "I'm not coming home, Zane."

  ***

  Zane stood outside Ava's door. Should he knock or just enter? He had finally decided to confront her and inquire why she was feeding his brother lies. There could be no other reasonable explanation why Austin wanted this woman here, unless she talked him into it. He wouldn't have her in this house. He just wouldn't.

  Eleanor saw him come in, but he didn't stop to say anything to her. He hoped that she didn't go fetch Austin because he wanted to do this without interruption. He wasn’t looking forward to a potential fistfight with his brother. A very strong indication that could happen with him entering this room.

  Damn it, this was his house. He shouldn't have to knock. Whipping open the door, he saw Ava sitting on the right side of the bed, close to the edge, staring at a picture in her hands. He couldn't see her face as her hair covered it, but her hair didn't seem right. It seemed dull, not vibrant and colorful the last time he burst into a room where she was.