Protecting You (A McCord Family Novel Book 1)

by Amanda Siegrist

  "Yeah, okay mom," Jimmy replied sarcastically.

  Ava took another sip of beer and almost spit it out. "Oh, come on. You should've caught that ball, idiot," Ava screamed at the TV.

  "Calm down, Ava, it's only spring training," Jimmy said laughing.

  "Oh, no, Jimmy. It all counts even in spring training. If that joker in the center field can't catch a ball now, who is to say he can catch it in the regular season." She looked back at the TV and shouted, "Take him out of the game."

  "Oh, boy. To think the Yankees could miss the World Series. That would be horrible," Jimmy said, placing a hand over his heart in a mock gesture.

  Ava shoved her empty bottle at him. "Get me another one before I sock you one for uttering such horrible words in my presence."

  Jimmy laughed and got up from the couch. "Sorry, Ava, that was the last one you just drained."

  "Make a run, smartass."

  A knock sounded as he shut the fridge. Jimmy glanced at her with a grin as he walked to the door. "Let's hope that's the beer patrol."

  Ava rolled her eyes as she glanced back at the TV and saw the same outfielder miss another catch, letting the Rays score another run. "Ugh. Take him out already."

  "Oh, are the Yankees losing, Ava?" Mahone asked as he plopped down next to her with a devilish grin.

  "Get out, Mahone, if you're going to speak ill about my Yankees. They'll come back, they always do."

  "What? I brought a peace offering," Mahone said as he handed her a beer.

  Ava smiled and took the beer. "I guess you can stay a while. Now that I think about it, the Dodgers play next. Watch what you say because I can dish it out just as nicely."

  Mahone lost his grin briefly and then said, "Game on, Ava."

  Jimmy grinned as he sat down on the other chair. "Now why would I want to be anywhere other than New York? I'd miss these beautiful moments."

  Ava smiled at him. "That's right. There's no place like New York."

  ***

  "What's the cake for? It's delicious, by the way," Austin said as he spooned another delectable bite into his mouth, rolling his eyes up in bliss.

  "Well, I guess I could've told you guys right away when you got back from the fields, but I wanted to make a cake and thought I would tell you now," Ava said.

  "You're pregnant?" Austin exclaimed.

  "What?" Zane shouted, as he threw his fork down looking at Ava, who looked just as shocked.

  "What is wrong with you, Austin? Are you mad?" Ava asked, glaring.

  "What? It was a legitimate question," Austin said with a wily smirk.

  "You need to have sex to get pregnant. You should know, you get plenty. I'm not pregnant. I'm positive I would tell the father privately before I would at a table full of people," Ava said matter-of-factly.

  Zane cleared his throat and picked his fork back up, taking another bite of cake.

  Ava refused to look at Zane. He had sounded angry. Did he think she slept with someone else? Did he not want a child with her?

  "Sorry. My mistake." He smiled at Ava. "So, what did you want to tell us?"

  "Chief Tanner stopped by today while you two were out in the fields. They found Frank. He won't be going anywhere for a long time as he had other charges tagged on from a drug bust."

  Zane sighed heavily as Austin grinned.

  "That's great news. A cake was a great idea to break that story," Austin said.

  "I, for one, am happy to hear that. That horrible family doing what they did. Imagine if you never left that barn and the fire caught up to you, Ava," Eleanor said, alarmed.

  "Well, it didn’t happen that way, so everything is good now," Ava said glancing at Zane finally. "Aren't you happy to hear that, Zane?"

  He looked at her and gave a weak smile. "Of course. That's great news. Just a lot on my mind with the farm. Wouldn't have it at all if it wasn't for Frank Westlen."

  "Well, I say this deserves a beer in salute. Let's turn on the baseball game. It's not the Yankees, but it can be an opportunity to turn you into a Twins fan," Austin said in teasing manner to Ava.

  Ava laughed. "That will never happen, Austin. I love my Yankees and will until the day I die. I might have to catch a game when I get home just because I miss them so much."

  "Home? When are you going home?" Zane asked with a hint of desperation.

  Ava averted her eyes. "Well, I talked to my dad today…and yesterday, actually. He called to see how I was doing and I told him about Frank. He wanted to know when he was caught. He was ready to send the whole New York police force here to help look for him." Ava laughed as she glanced at Zane, who sat there expressionless.

  "I feel better. You guys have helped me so much and I'm glad I came out here. He asked me to come home if I was ready to. I don't think I'll ever fully heal from losing Jimmy, but I've healed enough to move on with my life in a better way."

  Austin pulled Ava in a side hug. "I'm glad you came. It was nice getting to know you a little better and hear some good stories about Jimmy. I'll miss you. I'll come visit you, if you don't mind."

  "Thanks, Austin. I would enjoy the visit anytime," Ava said, squeezing him back.

  "Well, dear, I will wait for you to visit here as I'm not the best flier. I will miss you, though. You've been such a wonderful addition to this family," Eleanor said with sincerity.

  "I'll miss you, too, Eleanor. Hope I can call with baking questions?" Ava asked with a silly grin. "I was never much of a baker before. I'm still not."

  "Of course, dear. I'm always a phone call away."

  "Will you come visit me, Zane?" Ava asked tentatively, glancing at him.

  Zane snapped his head at her and glared slightly. "No. I told you I'd never step foot in that city ever again and I meant it. You want to see me, then you'll have to come to the farm."

  "The city isn't so bad. If you just—"

  "When are you leaving?" Zane snapped, cutting her off.

  "In two days," Ava said, maintaining eye contact, not quite figuring out what he was thinking.

  "Wow, that's quick. Now I'm really going to miss you. You don't have to leave so quickly. If ever," Austin said jokingly.

  "I can't stay forever, Austin. It's nice of you to say so. It's time. I miss New York," Ava said, getting up from the table. Nobody said anything as she scooted her chair in. "Excuse me, I'm finished eating and need to use the bathroom."

  "I think I'm done, too. You boys go and turn the game on for Ava and I'll pick up this mess," Eleanor said.

  "Thanks, Eleanor," Austin said, getting up as well.

  ***

  Zane followed Austin to the living room and as soon as they were out of earshot of the women, Austin whipped around into Zane's face. "What the hell is wrong with you?"

  "What? What did I do?"

  "Nothing. That's what. Tell her to stay."

  "Why would I do that? You heard her. She misses New York, she'll never stay."

  "Don't you love her?"

  "Why do you always bring that up? Does it matter?" Zane tried to walk away, but Austin grabbed his shirt into a fist.

  "Yes, it matters. Just tell her already. You two are driving me nuts walking around this house not shouting it to each other already," Austin said furiously.

  "Let go of my shirt, Austin, before I make you," Zane said through clenched teeth.

  "Make me then, Zane. Go ahead and punch me. Will it take the pain away? Will it make losing her any less harder? You've had so many opportunities to tell that woman you love her, to ask her to stay with you, and you always stand there silent. You're letting the best thing to walk into your life, walk out. You're an idiot."

  "Maybe you think so, but then again, you don't know what love is. You go from woman to woman so fast I'm surprised your head doesn't spin right off. Love is making her happy. If going back to New York makes her happy, then I'm not going to stop her. Now let go of my shirt because I will punch you," Zane said heatedly.

  Austin let go and backed away. "You're still an idi
ot. You just admitted you love her and won't do anything about it. Are you at least going to tell her?"

  "I'm done talking to you," Zane growled as he walked away from Austin without another word.

  ***

  Zane stood in his bathroom staring at the box of condoms he finally bought today. He shuffled them in his hands. What should he do? At the last minute, he tossed them in the trashcan as he walked out of the bathroom. If Ava planned to leave in two days, then he didn't want a real taste of her that way. It would just leave him wanting more that he couldn't have.

  He made his way to her room, even as he did, dreading it. Only two more nights with her. She was leaving him and he couldn't stop her. Sighing heavily, he thought of Austin, who thought he could. Austin just didn't understand. He was doing this for her own good. She wouldn't be happy here. She always talks about New York as heaven and he refused to take that away from her.

  He opened her door, shut it quietly, and climbed into bed. Ava immediately crawled to him and curled into his frame. It never mattered what happened during the day. They always managed to leave it at the door, unless one of them opened their mouths, which they rarely did.

  They lay in silence as Zane rubbed her back as he normally did. Most of the time, he brought his hands in other places as well. But this time, he made his hands stay firmly on her back.

  "Why won't you come visit me? I wish you would," Ava whispered into his chest.

  Zane stilled his hands. "Ava, I already told you I won't. Please stop asking me."

  She lifted her head. "But why not?"

  "Because I can't. Just like you said you healed, but not fully. Well, I'm the same way. New York reminds me of Jimmy and I can't handle that. Even before he died, I hated that city. Imagine how I feel about it now when I know he died there. Don't ask me to go."

  Ava grasped his cheek. "Okay."

  Zane closed his eyes as she caressed his cheek, slowly bringing her hand down his neck onto his chest. She rested her head back down on his chest and softly stroked him. He lay there silently as he let her smooth her silky hand around his body. She steadily made her way to the edge of his boxers. He had stopped wearing a shirt and sweats to bed one night without asking and she hadn't objected once.

  A small hand started to reach underneath when he grabbed her hand. "Don't. I can't take the pain."

  "You didn't buy any condoms yet?"

  Zane sucked in a breath. "No."

  "Then let me do this," Ava whispered.

  Zane maintained his grip on her hand, bringing it back up to his chest. "No."

  "Please. You always make me feel good, let me make you feel good for once."

  "Ava, you always make me feel good. Just lying here with you makes me feel good. I don't need that. I don't want it." Zane sighed. "You're leaving in two days, it's probably best we don't."

  She suddenly rolled on top of him and grabbed his face into her soft hands, lowered her mouth and kissed him. He couldn't resist her kiss and met her assaulting tongue with ease. She lifted her mouth and whispered, "I may be leaving, but I still want you. Let me have you."

  Zane looked into her eyes, wishing he could give in. He just couldn't. "Ava, I'm sorry. Please—"

  He stopped talking when she started moving on top of him, grinding softly into his heat. "You like that, don't you?"

  He grabbed her hips and stopped her. "Of course I do. But you're leaving and—"

  "Pretend I'm not then. Just once. Please." She grabbed her gown and tossed it off.

  Zane's eyes glossed over from ecstasy at the sight of her beautiful body. "Ava, you're killing me here."

  She bent down and laid her chest against his as she pressed into him. "That's the point. I want you," she whispered in his ear, then lightly bit it.

  He moaned at the contact and without thought, as fast as lightning, flipped her underneath him. Ava cried out in surprised delight, grabbed his butt, and pressed into him again. He met her beautiful body as she did that, kissing her fiercely on the mouth. They moved as one as the torture inside him started to build. He broke the kiss, sending spiraling kisses down her neck to her breast, sucking hard on her tip.

  She screamed with pleasure and cried out. "Please, Zane. Break the barrier."

  She pushed down his boxers. Now only her panties were a shield from his pleasure. He kicked his boxers off his feet, continuing the rapture of her breast as he slid his hands to her hips and slid her panties off with ease. He pressed into her softly, resting against her entrance as he begged to be let in. Lifting his mouth from her breast, he looked deep into her eyes. "Do you know what you're asking of me here? Do you have any idea what you do to me? Do you know how I will feel when you leave me?"

  "No, I don't. Tell me," Ava whispered breathlessly.

  Instead of answering with words, he entered her slowly, staring into her eyes. Moaning in satisfaction at the ecstasy of being inside her finally, she held him tightly as he kissed her neck with pleasure, moving slowly inside her.

  He knew he would die inside the minute he had her. There was no way he'd survive her leaving now, not after tasting her this way. They moved as one, the connection between them tightening to extreme pleasure. He forgot what they were doing. That he never grabbed those condoms from the trashcan and moved effortlessly with her as she clung to his body.

  Suddenly the pressure climbed to the top, just as he felt her climbing with him. He didn’t increase the movement, no need to, as the pleasure was too much already. The slow joining they were creating was enough for them. He kissed her hard on the mouth as they climaxed together, the amazing fusion of their bodies overwhelming.

  He shuddered as he rolled her with him to lie on his back, her head resting on his chest again. He lay there silently, trying to control his rapidly beating heart and his heavy breaths that threatened to choke him. She lay there silent as well. The power felt between them required no words.

  Neither spoke. Zane held her in his arms as he did every night and started lightly stroking her back. They made no move to redress either. He didn't know what to say and since she hadn't spoken yet, he stayed silent until he felt her breathing become even.

  Knowing she finally fell into a peaceful sleep, he kissed the top of her head, and whispered, "Don't leave me."

  Chapter 12

  Her suitcase sat by the front door as her heart lay shattered in the bedroom. Ava sighed deeply and leaned back into the couch as she waited for Austin to finish using the bathroom before they headed to the airport.

  Eleanor was busy in the kitchen baking cookies she suddenly insisted she make. Ava had already said good-bye, Eleanor replying she just hated to see her leave, but to have a safe flight.

  Zane, well, she wasn't sure where he was. She saw him earlier in the morning as they finished their morning chores of feeding the chickens and goats. He had abruptly turned to her and snapped, for the first time in a long time, "Safe Flight. Good-bye." He left her standing there without giving her a chance to respond.

  She wasn’t surprised their farewells to each other ended that way. Last night, he hadn't even come to her room to sleep with her. It had been a long lonely, cold night. The temptation to go to his room to find him and ask why swarmed her mind for a very long time. But she decided to take the coward's way.

  Apparently, it was too much to ask to have one more glorious night with him. Just like the night they had taken each other with such passion. Tears settled behind her eyes, begging to fall. That's probably why he hadn't come to her again. So he wouldn't fall into temptation.

  Was it because he couldn't resist her—or because he regretted what they did? Did she push him too far? She had craved him and hadn't wanted to leave without taking a part of him at least once.

  "You ready?" Austin asked.

  Ava sucked in a tiny breath to compose herself and gently smiled. "Ready when you are."

  "You know, you don't have to leave just yet. Have you talked to Zane today? Did he say anything?"

  "Yes, I di
d. He said good-bye. Let's hit the road, Austin, or I'll miss my flight." She grabbed her suitcase and stepped outside.

  ***

  Austin sighed and followed her out. He drove to the airport in odd silence. He didn't know what else to say other than coming out directly to her about Zane. But he couldn't. He wouldn't mess in Zane's affairs that way. If he couldn’t tell Ava he loved her, then Austin wasn't going to do it for him.

  He hugged Ava good-bye at the airport departure drop-off. He watched with sadness as she rolled her suitcase toward the double doors, not looking back once. He thought he brought her here to heal and he felt like he was sending her home just as broken—a new reason for it this time.

  He made his way back home and parked the car, yanking the key out of the ignition with more force than was necessary. Damn his brother. What an idiot. He stalked around the farm until he found Zane in the hog barn.

  "Do you have any idea how dumb you are?" Austin yelled at Zane's back as he mucked out a pig stall.

  Zane didn't turn around, but kept at his task. "You know, I'm getting really sick and tired of hearing you call me that. I do recall throwing this manure at you before and I have no problem doing it again."

  "Go ahead. Make yourself feel better if that's what it takes. I can take a shower and wash the shit off. How can you wash it off yourself? You can't. You didn't tell her. Why?"

  "It's none of your damn business, Austin. What do you know about love? Nothing, that's what. You go around from woman to woman enjoying them, like that's what life is about and it's not. How about you come to me when you know what you're talking about and then maybe I'll listen to your asinine words." Zane whipped around.

  "Love? You want to know what I know about love. Let me tell you about it. It takes a hold of you without a moment's notice and just as quickly, it rips your heart out. I fell in love once. I gave it all I had. I even told her. Well, it didn't end the way I wanted it to, but at least I had the guts to meet it head on. So maybe I enjoy women now. I had love once and decided it wasn't for me. But you…this is the first for you. Don't try to deny it because I know. You didn't even tell her and that's the coward's way out. So don't stand here and preach to me that I don't know what love is. I think I have a better understanding than you ever will," Austin spit out.