A Life Apart
Page 12
“It is a sensible suggestion,” Popham said. “There is never any question about an annulment when there has been a committal.”
“There is, however, one problem.” Darcy let his tone become a little milder as he broke the seal and swiftly read his uncle’s letter.
“Oh, what would that be?” The doctor did not appear to sense any impending danger.
Darcy walked across to his desk and put the letter away in a drawer. He walked back round the desk and leaned against it, surveying his caller.
“Why, the problem is that my wife is not insane.”
The doctor laughed heartily. “Why, that is not a problem at all, sir! I am sure you are aware that a letter from me will solve the issue, once and for all. There is no doubt that I can find her insane.”
“That is what I thought you would say.” Darcy scowled at him. “My uncle’s letter says it as well.” He walked to the window. He must be careful, not allow himself the anger he wished to show.
“But I am aware that you have not spoken to my wife, not examined her. It would hardly be professional of you to find her so unless you had examined her.”
The man smiled complacently. “That is easily rectified. The examination — or interview, if you prefer, can be very brief.”
Darcy clenched his fists. It would not help Elizabeth if he wrapped them around the man’s throat. But the thought of him examining her …
Popham was foolish. He did not know when to stop. “There will be no cost to you, sir. Your uncle has covered the entirety of my costs — unless you wish to contribute.” He beamed at Darcy.
Darcy looked at him and contemplated what was best. He could frighten him now, and throw him out, or he could use him. And then throw him out.
“Of course, with what you have said, and the evidence from my uncle’s letter, I have enough evidence to disgrace you utterly, sir!” Darcy stood over the man in the chair, who suddenly shrank away from him. “To offer to certify as insane a woman you have never met, and do not know to be so, is utterly disgraceful. You would never work again, once I had dragged your name through the courts!”
Popham gaped at him, his mouth slackly hanging open.
Darcy turned away in disgust. He stood looking out of the window. If he did that, nothing would change. Popham might be prevented from committing another poor soul, but another doctor would always be found who was as greedy as this man.
He sighed. But he could use him for Elizabeth’s security. Even if it did make him feel dirty.
He swung round. “Of course, I am aware that my uncle may not pay you without a certificate. I might be inclined to pay you rather more if you would be willing to furnish me with the opposite certificate.”
The man turned from grey to a more normal colour within seconds.
“Of course, sir, of course! I have already seen enough to know that the lady is in eminent good health!” Popham sat forward in his eagerness to save his miserable skin. Darcy tried not to let his lip curl.
He turned back to his desk and extracted a sheet of headed notepaper. Carefully he prepared the nib and placed the pen beside the ink well on the spare writing table. He nodded his unwelcome guest to it.
Then he sat at his own desk and waited while the man laboured over his letter.
He read it carefully, and nodded. “Very good.” He slipped it into his desk drawer. He would keep it carefully and it might prevent his uncle from pursuing that route in future.
Paying him off was like paying blood money and Darcy had to fight down his disgust. He saw the man away with a letter to the landlord of the inn at Lambton, instructing that he have the best chamber and service and the account to be rendered to the Pemberley estate, and he went without a murmur.
Finally, Darcy turned to the drawing room. He had been far too long. But she was waiting for him, and she rose gracefully and came towards him.
“Thank you, Mr. Darcy.”
He was puzzled. “What for?”
She smiled sadly. “I think you may have saved me from a fate some would think as worse than death.” Her gaze was steady. “I am most grateful to you.”
He swallowed, unable to think of anything to say.
Chapter 31
The next morning, Elizabeth rose, not knowing whether to feel happy or sad. She sat in front of the glass while Emilie brushed out her hair.
Elizabeth wasn’t looking at her reflection, though. Her mind was back in Leicester, finding out that her husband had been on his way to Pemberley to see her. Then her memory went back to their walk the previous day, watching the swan on the pond and hearing of Mr. Darcy’s interest in her thoughts of Pemberley.
But mostly she remembered the previous evening. She shuddered as she recalled the way the visiting doctor had looked at her covetously and her sudden knowledge that he might soon be declaring her insane for the convenience of the Darcy family.
But Mr. Darcy had placed himself between them. He had used her given name, he had kissed her hand. In front of the servants and this … doctor … he had been prepared to demonstrate the facade that their marriage was real.
She smiled faintly. And he’d winked at her, signed to her that he wished her to be silent.
It had been hard to trust him. Hard to wait patiently while he took the man aside. If he agreed to the plan, she had no recourse, would have no chance to run away, might be locked up and never have the chance to escape.
It had taken all her courage to stay in the drawing room, not try and hide away. Her heart had nearly failed her at the discovery that his family was prepared to do this to gain their own ends.
She must persuade him somehow to release them both. She must tell him that she would not contest an annulment, so that there would be no need to have her committed.
Today would be difficult, particularly because she didn’t know how he felt, what he wanted. But she must find out, must persuade him that her plan was the best thing for him.
He rose to greet her as she entered the breakfast room and she curtsied deeply, her body remembering the warmth of his lips on her hand the previous night. She shivered with the memory, and he frowned.
“Are you well, madam?”
He was back to calling her madam. She was unaccountably saddened, although she shouldn’t be, because they must soon part. She smiled mechanically. “I am well, sir.”
She sat down and he resumed his seat. She turned to the footman who knew her requirements by now, and he poured her tea and served her the coddled egg and small slice that had formed her breakfast each day.
Mr. Darcy appeared slightly distracted by the headlines on the newspaper, but she knew he had noticed what was on her plate by the small crease between his eyebrows.
“I will not be disturbed if you wish to read the Times, sir. It is early to make conversation.”
He dipped his head in acquiescence. “Thank you, madam.”
It was a good tactic. There was now a reason for the silence between them, and Elizabeth was able to resume her reverie.
She must marshall her arguments and prepare to make her case once they could not be overheard. She frowned slightly as she thought of how to counter any arguments he may think of.
Soon, she was unable to eat any more. She smiled at the footman and he poured her another cup of tea. She sipped at it as she watched him serve her husband with coffee. She must remember his preferences.
Finally, he folded up the newspaper and looked at her. “I wonder if you would be able to favour me with your company this morning, Mrs. Darcy? I am hoping to walk round the lake. There is a small hothouse on the other side and I could arrange for a light picnic to be available there for us.”
She smiled. “It sounds perfectly delightful, Mr. Darcy. Thank you.”
As she descended the stairs towards him, wearing her warmest coat and carrying her reticule, he frowned.
“Do you have warmer attire, madam? The air is becoming quite cold as the autumn draws on.”
She must not be warm
ed by his solicitude. She must not.
She smiled brightly, falsely. “I am used to walking out in all weathers, Mr. Darcy. I am sure I will be well.”
He nodded. “As you wish. But if you become cold, I will summon the carriage to continue on our way.”
As he spoke, she saw Mr. Reed out of the corner of her eye. He nodded very slightly and disappeared.
He really was the perfect steward. She knew that the coach would be following them, just out of sight, so that they didn’t have to wait more than a few moments if she indicated a desire for it.
Her husband offered her his arm, and they descended the steps and walked out towards the lake. She schooled her face to be expressionless, it was much colder than she had thought it might be.
Mr. Darcy chuckled. “You see, madam? Derbyshire is a very different place in the winter than you might expect, having only known Hertfordshire.”
She tried to stay serene. “It will not be long until I am accustomed to it, sir.” She would not say that she might not need to become used to it. If she obtained a position in the south, her life would be very different.
“I will tell Mrs. Reynolds to instruct a seamstress to call. You need a much warmer coat and you did not have the time, or possibly the inclination, to procure a full trousseau.”
She looked away. “You are most generous, sir. But it would be better to wait until other matters have been decided. It might not be necessary to incur such expense.”
He looked down at her. “I wish you to be properly attired wherever you might be.” He hesitated, but didn’t continue, and she wondered what he had not said.
She must not allow the mood to become too sombre, however she felt. “Different situations may require a different level of expenditure, Mr. Darcy.”
His frown deepened and she was silent, too, for a while, as they strolled on through the expansive landscape.
After what seemed a long time, Elizabeth realised that if she didn’t say something, they might lose the time completely.
“I have loved it here, Mr. Darcy. And I have only recently realised what it has cost you to stay away.” She could feel the tenseness in his body as she talked. But he had come to discuss with her what needed to be done, and she must be courageous.
“The fault is mine, Mrs. Darcy. There was nothing to prevent me coming here if I had wished it.” He was staring ahead, but his features were tight and controlled.
“Nothing, sir; except your anger at the actions of my family — and me, too, by being part of the misfortune that was forced upon you.” She didn’t try and make him look at her, she thought it would be easier if he was not facing her.
“That is my concern, though, and for me to overcome.” His voice was flat, and she wondered if he was trying to take all the blame and put none upon her.
She laughed. “So, tell me, sir, can you attest with perfect truth that you did not miss Pemberley while you were away, and that you would not have travelled here at all this past month, if I had not been here?”
She glanced up at him. His features were set, and a muscle jumped in his jaw.
She had perhaps not been properly considerate of his feelings, and she knew her voice was gentler as she continued. “It will be easier, perhaps, and enable you to use Pemberley as you are accustomed to, if I am not here.”
She struggled to keep her own face calm, struggled to keep her breathing light and untroubled. But she was not sure quite how successful she was being.
Where would she go? Would he assist her to find a position? And even if he did, her situation would always be precarious. And she already loved Pemberley. The view of the park blurred in her vision and she blinked hard. She must be strong, must be able to make him see the benefits to her plan.
He waited a few moments before he replied, and she forced herself not to shiver. But he finally sighed.
“Perhaps you will be able to tell me what you would like for the future?”
The opportunity to tell him was with her now and she must not fail him.
“It is very generous of you to ask me. As I have said, I think that my family made the most unreasonable demands upon you, and you must resent it — must resent me for being part of that family and the cause of your present situation.” She wondered how much further it was to the hothouse he had mentioned, but pulled herself back to the conversation. “I would suggest perhaps that you apply to have our marriage annulled. I will not contest it and I only ask that you might be able to assist me in finding a suitable position to enable me to work.”
He stopped and turned to look at her. His gaze was intense and enigmatic. “And is that what you desire, Mrs. Darcy?”
His eyes pierced her, demanded she be truthful. And her legs threatened to fail her.
She took a deep breath. “I wish most sincerely that you are able to go back to your life as you knew it before you met me, sir.”
He continued to look down at her, his expression showing that he knew full well that she had not answered his question. But she could not lie to him.
Chapter 32
“I am gratified by your concern for me, madam.” He smiled slightly and she looked away hastily, determined to control the sudden weakness in her legs.
“But we have arrived. I think you might enjoy the warmth within.” Mr. Darcy leaned forward and opened the door to the hothouse and she could feel the warm, moist air swirling out.
“Oh!” She caught sight of lush, verdant green plants inside and stepped cautiously in.
It certainly wasn’t as small as she’d imagined when he had said it was small, but she supposed that, compared to most places on the Pemberley estate, it seemed so to him.
She stood just inside and looked around in awe. The air was heavy with the scent of growing things, and strange, foreign-looking trees with enormous leaves reached for the high glass panes of the roof.
“It’s beautiful, Mr. Darcy. I had no idea it was here.” Elizabeth turned and smiled at him. “I must have a word with Mr. Reed. He never told me of this magical place. Never once.”
Mr. Darcy seemed pleased at her delight, although a little surprised. “Perhaps you have not walked this way before.”
“That is true,” Elizabeth agreed. “We had much to see in the gardens nearer the house.”
Mr. Darcy walked over to a small ironwork table and chairs and held one of the chairs for her.
“Thank you.” Elizabeth took the chair and he moved round and sat opposite her.
“I was most impressed with some of the tropical plantings at the botanical gardens at Kew.” Mr. Darcy sounded quite conversational. “I was able to induce one of the garden designers to come to Pemberley.” He looked round with pride. “It is a restful place to be.”
“Restful,” Elizabeth repeated. “Yes, that is the right word for such a place as this.” She turned to him. “Thank you for bringing me here, it is the perfect place for us to discuss the future — calmly and carefully.” She smiled. “And without interruption.”
He chuckled. “Well, we will be interrupted for a few moments soon, when they bring in our picnic. But you are right. After that, we will not be interrupted at all. I hope very much that we can agree on what must be done.”
She nodded. There didn’t seem to be much to say and perhaps he wished to wait until the servants had been and gone before returning to the topic of their future.
In the silence, she could hear a very faint roaring noise. Puzzled, she tipped her head on one side and listened carefully. She could not imagine what it was.
“It is the noise of the stoves in the adjacent room behind us.” Her husband had divined her puzzlement. “The hot air from the fires keeps the glasshouse warm enough for the plants to live through the winter.”
“I see.” Elizabeth’s attention was drawn to some of the tiny mosses and ferns threaded along beside the trees and larger plants and she was thus happily occupied until the servants had arrived and carefully laid out the picnic for their convenience.
“Please try not to be so concerned, madam.” His voice was quite different now. He seemed concerned and gentle, as if he really cared that she was satisfied with whatever decision was to be made.
She swallowed, he almost sounded like the gentleman who had saved her in the woods again. “I am …” She had to stop and clear her throat. “I am only concerned that I am able to put right this injustice, sir.”
He reached over and touched her hand lightly. A thrill communicated itself up her arm and she had to force herself not to flinch. She didn’t want him to think she was afraid of him.
“I respect very much your determination to make amends, Mrs. Darcy.” His tone was low and she had to listen carefully. “But, as I have already said, I must also make amends to you for my disgraceful behaviour in leaving you here without family or friends, after such a great change in your circumstances.”
Elizabeth looked down at her hands, tightly clasped, in her lap. She almost fancied she could see the spot he had touched, as one could see a burn that still throbbed painfully.
She looked up. “You have nothing to make amends for, sir. Given the extent of the misfortune that had befallen you, you could not be blamed for your anger, nor for that anger being directed at me, for I was a ready target.” Her smile was natural this time.
“In fact, given the nature of the offence, you might have been a great deal more forceful in your anger.” She almost wished she could reach out to him, as he had to her. “But you have never given me cause to fear you, and for that, I am most grateful.”
He jerked his head, almost irritably. “That is beside the point. But we shall forget the past, if you wish it so.” He indicated the plate of pastries.