Dear Olivia

by Fontaine , Bella

  That was the question that was even harder to ask. It meant him leaving again.

  He leaned forward and rested his hands on the top of my thighs. “Can I ask you to do me a massive favor? I know I don’t deserve any favors, but this is really important. Special.”

  “What is it?” My curiosity was definitely piqued.

  He reached for my hand and gave it a gentle squeeze. “Can you trust me?”

  Trust him?

  What an odd thing to ask. “Sam, that’s weird. Are you sure you heard my question right?” Because his response didn’t fit.

  “Dear Olivia, I heard you. I just need you to trust me. Please. If you can, then I promise I’ll tell you everything as soon as I can.”

  I continued to study him, observing the way his eyes pierced into me with desperation. Odd as the request was, when you trusted a person you did it without question, or the questions I had, or the questions of why such a request.

  “I can trust you,” I answered. “You know how weird and secretive that sounds, right?”

  “I do, and you have every right to be suspicious and curious. I just need you to trust me. Think of it as client confidentiality. You’d never tell me anything that was confidential, that way even if I begged…”

  “Okay.” I lifted my shoulders into a half shrug. “I got it. Can you tell me anything? I mean, it’s hard for me to think you’ll probably be gone by next weekend and I still won’t know where you’re going if you haven’t told me.”

  “Well, you won’t have to worry about that. I’ll be here next weekend.”

  I straightened up at the prospect. “Really, you will?”

  “Yeah, I’m thinking of sticking around for a while.”

  My heart skipped and fluttered in the cavity of my chest. “A while? Can you do that? I mean, is that doable with your work?” I was trying to tamp down my excitement.

  “It’s doable for this mission.”

  I chuckled. “Mission, you sound like you’re back in the Marines, lieutenant.”

  “It’s a very important mission.”

  “Can I ask what the mission is? Or is that part secret too?”

  Determination so strong and powerful washed over his handsome face. “It’s not a secret. The mission is to get my girl back.”

  I stared wide-eyed at him, sucking in a shallow breath.

  He gave me a sigh of exasperation and nodded. “Dear Olivia, the mission is to get my girl back.” His hold tightened slightly.

  I wasn’t sure what to say, except… “Dear Sam, your girl wants you back too.”

  Saying it snapped me out of that funk I’d been in for the last few years. That thing I was worried about. Love.

  I guess I just didn’t realize that maybe I was scared and couldn’t find love because he was lost to me, and for me he was love.

  He looked at me with it now. I could feel it in his gaze. He cupped my face and I moved to him, too, when his lips captured mine for the sweetest kiss.

  It was a kiss that soothed the soul, a kiss that healed, a kiss that made everything feel like I had everything. Just like when we were little. This was us, though. It was about us. No one else.

  Just as I allowed the sheets to fall from my breasts the doorbell rang, making us jump.

  Sam looked toward the bedroom door. “I don’t know who that is.”

  “Hey son, are you in?” Dad called from outside.

  Oh my God, Dad. It was Dad.

  “Joe.” Sam stood up.

  I grabbed the sheet again and thought of my escape route.

  “Thought we could go sailing or eat too much,” Dad bubbled.

  I was supposed to see him later for dinner. Had he not come by, I would have completely forgotten.

  “I’ll slip out the back.” I slid off the bed.

  Sam came around to me and took hold of my shoulders. “No. Not unless if you really don’t want him to see you here.”

  I froze and stared at him. This was what happened before. We’d almost get caught one way or another by Dad or Coop and we’d make some excuse.

  I didn’t want that.

  I shook my head. “I… I don’t want to sneak out.”

  “Good. Just get dressed then. Looks like we’re in for an interesting day.”

  He couldn’t have been more right.

  Chapter 17

  Sam

  12 years ago…

  “Sam,” Coop called from downstairs.

  I jumped out of my bed and rushed down the steps two at a time, believing Olivia was here. I hadn’t heard the door, but maybe Coop had seen her outside the apartment and left the door open.

  I went to the living room, gearing myself up to see her, but all I could see was Coop standing by the Christmas tree with that annoyed expression on his face that told me he was about to jar me about something.

  He shook his head at me and raised his brows. The sharp cuts he’d had styled into them rose, looking like the sharp edges of a knife.

  “What is it?” I opened my palms.

  “The tree, this thing you insisted on getting.” He pointed at the little tree I bought last night.

  “What’s wrong with it?”

  “Smells like ass,” he snapped. “How did you manage that? The tree smells like ass, Sam.”

  I would have laughed if I thought he was joking. I knew he wasn’t and I didn’t even want to know how he knew what ass smelled like.

  “Shit, Coop. That’s a new one.” I frowned.

  “Yes, shit, but old shit. Where did you get it?”

  “At the supermarket. It came with a wintry fresh scent that you are calling ass.”

  “Man, you sound like you grew soft.”

  “It’s a tree. I just wanted us to do something this year.” I thought Olivia might like it.

  “Dad has a tree with our presents; you didn’t need to get this thing to take up space we don’t got.” He snapped, “Throw it away.”

  “No, it stays.” I stood my ground. He had the luxury of the place to himself while I was away. This was one small thing. “I don’t ask for much, Coop, and when last I checked I had to pay for the last five months’ rent in a place I wasn’t at.” I quirked a brow.

  “You know what happened, man. That was an emergency.”

  Like hell it was. He’d told me he needed a new car to get to this new job of his. I heard he got a new car, but as for a job… Well, to my knowledge, Coop was still temping.

  What the temp jobs were that he did, I didn’t know. I didn’t know and it was cause for worry.

  That aside, the tree really was one small thing. One small thing that meant a lot to me.

  Every year we’d gather at Joe’s house on Christmas day and he’d talk about what he was grateful for. We each had to say one thing. While Coop thought it was lame, Olivia loved it, and I loved that she loved it.

  I had this vision of putting on the fire in the little fire place and sitting beside the tree with Olivia in my arms. Couldn’t do that at Joe’s place. Definitely not on Christmas Day to completely steal his tradition, as well as his daughter, away from something he enjoyed.

  And…maybe I was kidding myself about doing it now, today, tonight. Tonight when Coop wet out.

  “You’re seriously going to keep the tree?” He frowned.

  “I am.” I smiled, knowing it would make him crazy.

  “You’re a real ass, you know that?”

  I spread my arms out either side and smiled proud. “I know, Coop. I’m L.A.’s finest asshole.” I laughed and brought my hands back down to my sides. Back to focus. “Olivia say when she was going to get here?”

  She told me between five and six earlier, when she spoke to me. She landed in from Boston late last night because her flight was delayed. I wanted to meet her at the airport but honestly, I was worried as all hell of what I’d be like around her. In front of everyone else, I could have been a walking time bomb.

  “Nope. Why is she coming here again?” Coop gave me a quizzical look.


  My breathing stilled. “Just to see me.”

  “Not me? I didn’t know she was coming here until you said earlier. We’re supposed to be meeting up at Dad’s tomorrow.”

  I released the breath I was holding onto and brainstormed what to say next.

  Here I was, a big, bad Marine who’d just started his service. I already felt like the job was made for me because I used that fearlessness inside me to my advantage and sailed through everything I did the minute I started. And yet… It terrified me that Coop would be against me seeing his sister.

  I worried that Coop would be against me and Joe would kill me.

  Coop knew what I’d been like with women in our younger days.

  We were both terrible in our teens. Really terrible. At twenty-four, I was certain Coop was just as bad, if not worse, but I’d calmed right the hell down.

  It was right from that night. That night when Olivia was sixteen and we both practically confessed how we felt about each other.

  Something happened to me. Something more to make me want her, but no way was I going to do anything with her when she was sixteen.

  In the summer when I first kissed her, I was happy I found the courage to do it then. After that night, we met up every night to make out, right up until the night before I was leaving for duty. That was the last time I saw her. Today would be the first since and I didn’t know what we were going to be like. All I knew was I couldn’t wait to see her.

  “Sam, come on.” Coop frowned, grimacing.

  “Come on what?”

  “You know what I mean? You know she’s had this crush on you from the dawn of time.”

  “And so what? Why can’t she have a crush on me?” I was testing the water. Testing how far I could tread. And how deep.

  “Because it’s silly and you continue to encourage her, knowing you’d never be interested.”

  I wanted to inform him that I would. That I was, but held my tongue.

  “Coop, she’s just…”

  “What bro?” He gave me an expectant look.

  “Bringing me chocolate and sweets from Boston. That’s thoughtful and cute.”

  “Oh my God, what will that girl think of next. Sam, what the hell is the difference between sweets from Boston and sweets in L.A.? It’s not like she went to somewhere like Belgium.”

  I should have found a different excuse. Said something different or just kept my mouth shut. Missing her was making me talk shit.

  I didn’t know I was going to miss her as much as I did. It hit me right from the first day I left, then worse when I landed in Afghanistan. The only thing I missed about home was her. I felt like a fool for not kissing her on her eighteenth birthday like I planned. I planned it out, then froze up when the time came. I could have had over a year with her. She was the only woman to do that to me. The only woman to make me think about working hard to be with her and earn her respect.

  She was nineteen now; I was away for her birthday. Nineteen and at college far away from home. Anything could have happened to that angelic being I left behind. She wrote to me every week I was away and I wrote back the same, every week. But… I knew what life was like. I knew what guys her age were like, and I couldn’t blame her for wanting to live a little.

  Coop shook his head at me and moved to the coat stand to get his jacket, but stopped short when a stream of blood ran down his lip from his nose. He rushed to the desk in the corner and grabbed a tissue.

  I rushed up to him. Being this close, I could see how the skin on his nose looked like he’d had some sort of reaction.

  “What’s going on, Coop?” I asked. “That was blood.”

  “Hay fever.” He dabbed at his nose with the tissue.

  Looking close, I noticed the insides of his nostrils were raw. He’d had some reaction alright, and it wasn’t fucking hay fever.

  I grabbed his arm. “Don’t fuck with me.”

  “Hey man, stop it. What the hell, you on steroids?” Coop laughed at the grip I had on him and shrugged out of my grasp.

  “You’re taking drugs again,” I challenged. I didn’t pussyfoot around this stuff. He was using again, or hadn’t stopped.

  “Okay fine. I just use a little when I need to.”

  “A little of what?” Whatever it was made his nose bleed. That had to be some hard stuff. I tried it once and ended up on the edge of a bridge thinking I could fly. I didn’t remember how I got down, or how it was I didn’t die. It was a mix of shit I got from a dealer called George. I didn’t even know what was in it. Heroin and something else. I heard he died from the stuff and that was enough for me to stop. I wasn’t a user, but I dabbled enough.

  Too many times to be a bad influence on Coop. God knew how much I blamed myself for that damn influence. I mixed with the good kid at school and turned him bad.

  “A little of what, Coop?” I demanded.

  “Heroin and coke.”

  “Fuck. What the fucking hell is wrong with you?” I hissed.

  “Nothing. Sam, you know I’m careful. I’m no fool. Wouldn’t take too much.” Coop gave me a playful punch in my shoulder.

  The doorbell rang and I looked toward it. My heart…

  My nerves spiked. It was her.

  “Time for me to go,” Coop sang. “You two have fun eating sweets from Boston. Crazy girl.”

  He was literally saved by the bell, but I made a mental note to go through his stuff later and get rid of his stash. I wasn’t about facilitating anything anymore.

  Coop would never admit it or accept it, but he had a problem. He’d had a problem for years and it was getting worse.

  I left him and went to get the door. It swung open and there she stood.

  The most beautiful girl I’d ever seen in my life stood before me wearing a teal knitted jumper that slinked down her shoulders and jeans that clung to her legs. Her hair ran straight and shiny down her shoulders, parted down the middle.

  My heart stopped as I looked at her, then my pulse quickened as it started up again.

  “Later guys,” Coop said, pushing past me. “Wow, nice hair, Liv.”

  He didn’t wait for her answer, he just kept walking down the corridor. I watched him go, feeling that concern pulling at my insides again, but I returned my full, undivided attention to the woman in front of me.

  “I’m sorry I’m late,” she said.

  “You’re not late.”

  “How’s my favorite Marine?”

  “Missing his girl.” I reached for her. “Come here.”

  I took her and pulled her inside. She was smiling and was about to say something else, but I could no longer control myself.

  I wanted her bad. I covered her delicious, sexy mouth with mine and kissed her the way I dreamed of kissing her all these long months.

  Fuck, she tasted so good.

  “Sam,” she giggled against my lips.

  “No, I don’t want to stop kissing you.”

  “Don’t. But…” When she pulled away I moved to her neck and kissed the silky, smooth skin there.

  “But what, baby?” I nibbled on her neck and she released a little moan.

  “Is Coop coming back? I mean, I don’t care if he does, I’d just want to tell him first. I mean…if there was something to tell him, I’d tell him. Like if we were actually together.”

  I panicked. “We’re together. You thought we weren’t?” Why did she never mention that before? That she was worried about what we were.

  “I hoped we were. I…didn’t want to assume.” Her voice quivered like she was worried.

  I reached for her face and instantly felt that warmth that always coursed through me when I was with her. God help me. What the hell was happening to me? Since when did I think about warmth and feelings? I couldn’t stop thinking about her and I didn’t want to. “We are, and Coop’s not coming back tonight. He’ll be gone all night. We won’t see him before tomorrow at your Dad’s place.”

  I knew what Coop was like. I got home on my vacation leave two da
ys ago, and I’d barely seen him. I was tired, so I slept and called Olivia. I thought Coop and I would hang out some more but he had other things on his mind.

  “All night?” Her voice cut into my thoughts.

  “All night,” I answered, picking her up.

  She squealed as I hoisted her over my shoulder and gave her perfect ass a firm pat.

  “Sam, you are so crazy. It took me two hours to make my hair look like this for you.”

  “Woman, was that why you were late?” I squeezed her ass and made my way up the stairs.

  “You said I wasn’t late.”

  “Dear Olivia, any minute you aren’t with me makes you late.”

  She laughed.

  We got to my bedroom and I locked the door.

  I set her down on my bed and dove back to her lips. She ran her hands through my hair then down my neck and shoulders. The kiss turned hungry when I swept my tongue into her mouth and sucked on hers, making her give me that little moan again. Except this time sounded more erotic. This time it drove me wild and I had to force myself to stop.

  It wasn’t until I stopped that I realized that I was getting carried away, or had gotten carried away. She was in my bed with me kissing her. That was carried away.

  She wasn’t some…

  She was Olivia. No mere girl. She reached up and touched my jaw.

  “What’s wrong?”

  “I don’t want you to think I wanted to um…” Maybe I had gone soft if I couldn’t even say the word sex.

  She eased up onto her shoulders and seemed to catch on to my discomfort. “I didn’t, but…it would be okay if we did.”

  Shit. The only thing worse than the temptation of her was her saying what she just said.

  “It would?”

  “It would. I might not be um… I mean, I don’t really know what to do. I’ve never…” Suddenly she looked embarrassed and freaked, but to me it was the best news ever. She hadn’t lived it up in college as I had feared. She was still that sweet girl I left at home.

  I felt like the fucking devil ready to ravish the angel. “Never?”

  She shook her head. “Never.”

  I cupped her face again and lowered back to her lips. “You’re mine.”