Under My Skin (Shady Falls Series Book 2)

by Shelly Davis

  Emma placed another drink in front of me, but this one tasted different. Squinting my eyes, I looked at the clear drink and realized this wasn’t my drink. Where did my drink go? This was water. I didn’t want water.

  “What the hell is this?” I said, but my voice sounded weird and my words were slurred. Why the hell did I slur my words?

  “Honey, it’s time for you to take a break,” Emma said. She stood in front of me and touched my hand.

  “Bullshit, Em. Why’re you cuttin’ me off? I’ve barely even begun.” Begun … that word sounded weird. I giggled thinking about strange words. Maybe I did have a little too much to drink. But it felt good not thinking about … anything. But I was thinking, just none of it made any sense.

  “Honey, you’ve been here for hours and you’ve had almost an entire fifth of rum to yourself. If you were anyone else, I woulda cut you off a long time ago.” She paused. Why did she just stop talking like that? “Just drink your water. We’ll get you home soon.”

  “No,” I argued, but then stopped. I forgot what I was going to say. Why was I arguing? Then I remembered. “I don’t wanna go home. No one’s there,” I complained. “I’m sick of bein’ alone. I’m always alone. Even when I don’t think I’m alone, I’m alone, ‘cause Jake don’t want me and I don’t want no one else.” My forehead hit the bar and I winced as the pain shot through my head. What the hell was I saying? I couldn’t think through the throbbing in my brain. “Why does my head hurt so badly?” I mumbled into the wooden bar.

  “Mia, why are you here drinkin’ like this tonight? I gotta admit, I’ve never seen you drink like this before.”

  “I don’t drink.” I turned my head to the side so my words weren’t muffled by the wooden bar.

  “You coulda fooled me,” Emma said. “Is it about Grant bein’ outside?”

  “Hell no. I couldn’t care less about Grant and his stupid shit,” I said a little louder than I probably should have, given my throbbing head.

  “Well then, is it about what happened at the gym?” she pushed.

  “Nothin’ happened at the gym. Jake didn’t talk to me, but he talked to his long-legged whatever. They’re just friends, but they ain’t just friends. What-the-fuck-ever!” I was quiet for a moment, then realization slowly hit. Everything seemed to hit slowly. “How did you know about that?”

  “Derek,” Emma said. “He’s here now. He walked you to your car, remember?”

  “Yeah,” I sighed. Lying my head down on the unrelenting hard wood, I stared at the television. I swore I could hear the beat of my heart and the throbbing in my head was keeping steady pace.

  I waited a few moments before sitting up. I couldn’t focus on anything, the room seemed to be spinning and I couldn’t see anything other than what was directly in front of me. “I gotta … I gotta go home.”

  I stood too fast. Room spinning like a top, I couldn’t feel my legs or my feet beneath me. I was probably going to lose everything all over Uncle Bobby’s shiny floor. The world tilted and I knew I was going down, but I was too gone to stop myself.

  Strong arms wrapped around me and lifted me off the ground, and the world went black.

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  Jake

  “You need to come and take care of your shit,” Bobby growled into the phone.

  “What the hell’re you talkin’ about?” I said in a huff. It was like being a kid and being scolded by Mike or my dad. I felt like a petulant child, and it pissed me off.

  “You need to get your ass here and take care of your business once and for all.”

  “Do you care to tell me what business you’re talkin’ about, because I gotta tell ya, you ain’t makin’ much sense to me right now.”

  “Mia,” he said simply. “Now get your ass in your goddamned car and get here. I’ll explain once you’re here.”

  Sonofabitch. What the hell was the problem now? I didn’t have time for this shit.

  I turned to Cade and Monique. We’d just sat and talked everything through for the restaurant. We signed all the papers, worked through all the possibilities, and now the restaurant was officially mine. Things were finally falling into place.

  When Monique called she was so abrupt, I wasn’t sure what to expect. It turned out, she just wanted to get everything figured out before anyone had a chance to change their mind. Once the random nephew relented and agreed he didn’t have the skills to run the restaurant, the family contacted Monique. They told her they wanted to get the ball rolling and they wanted to sell directly to me, if I still wanted the building.

  She then took it upon herself to start the loan papers. Once the papers were signed and using the gym as collateral, I was now the proud owner of my own restaurant.

  I didn’t know what was going on with Mia. We hadn’t talked much lately and if I was being honest with myself, I’d acknowledge it was because of what I heard her tell her friend. But I was rarely honest with myself.

  Now I was being called to Bobby’s bar to deal with some stupid shit, when I should’ve been celebrating with Cade and Monique.

  “What’s up?” Cade asked when I came back.

  “I don’t know,” I complained. “Bobby said somethin’ up with Mia and I need to go see what the hell’s goin’ on.”

  “I told you,” he said.

  “What the hell’re you talkin’ about?” I growled. I was getting sick of Cade getting on my shit lately.

  “I’m sure whatever’s goin’ on has somethin’ to do with you ignorin’ her.”

  “Are you ignorin’ her?” Monique asked, looking between Cade and me.

  “I’m not ignorin’ her. I’ve been busy gettin’ projections and lookin’ into suppliers and shit for the restaurant like you told me to, you know, just in case it came through. Plus I’m workin’ eighteen hour days tryin’ to get shit done around here. Who the hell has time for anything else?”

  “You’re tryin’ to fuck up the whole thing,” Cade insisted. “You can’t ever just be happy. You do shit to screw it up every time. Well to hell with that. You need to go and see what the hell Bobby needs you to do.”

  “Jake, Cade’s right. You can’t keep people at arms’ length and expect to be happy. You love her. I saw it the first time I saw you together.”

  “Look, as much fun as it is listening to you two, I gotta go. I apparently have shit to deal with,” I deadpanned.

  Walking out into the cold December night, I was confused. Everything in my life was falling into place. The gym was doing great and with Cade taking on Julius’ pit crew practices, the gym would flourish. My dream of owning my own restaurant was finally coming true. I wouldn’t be able to open until February or March, but that was okay.

  I should’ve been ecstatic. I was about to have everything I ever wanted – ever dreamed of. But I wasn’t happy, I was miserable.

  I pulled in front of Bobby’s bar in time to see the last customer pull out of the parking lot. I hadn’t realized it was as late as it was while I sat and talked to Cade and Moni.

  I walked inside just in time to hear Mia’s drunken rant.

  “I’m sick of bein’ alone. I’m always alone. Even when I don’t think I’m alone, I’m alone, ‘cause Jake don’t want me and I don’t want no one else.”

  I froze in the doorway as her head fell to the bar. I couldn’t move. What the hell was I supposed to say? What was I supposed to do?

  “You see why I called you to come take care of your shit,” Bobby said, walking up to me. “She’s here because of you. She drank almost an entire fifth of rum because she was upset. That asshole showed up here, skulkin’ in the shadows. Apparently he’s still followin’ her around and she hasn’t said a word about it.”

  “What?” I asked, snapping my eyes away from Mia and toward Bobby. “Why?”

  “She said she didn’t want to bother anyone with her problems. She said she wasn’t gonna mess up people’s lives because hers is so fucked up.”

  Mia and Emma continued to talk. Whil
e I stood back and tried to figure out what I should do. I had kept my distance because I was afraid of what I felt for her, I could admit that to myself now. It only took a couple days of us hanging out and talking for me to know I could fall for her again. When I heard her admit she was in love with me, I knew I needed to back off. I wasn’t ready to feel those things again. I wasn’t ready to let her into my heart.

  “She was pissed when she saw Monique walk into the back room at the gym,” Derek said. I hadn’t even realized he had stood up and walked over to us. “She left right after. I had to chase her down to walk her out to the parking lot.”

  Emma looked up and across the room to where Derek, Bobby, and I stood and talked. She leaned down and asked Mia a question.

  “Nothin’ happened at the gym. Jake didn’t talk to me, but he talked to his long-legged whatever. They’re just friends, but they ain’t just friends. What-the-fuck-ever!” Mia talked into the bar. Her forehead was still rested on the wood, but her every word could be heard through the silent tavern.

  I hadn’t realized how much my distance affected her. She didn’t deserve my detachment, but I didn’t know what the hell I was doing. What the hell did I want?

  “You need to figure out your shit so you can put that poor girl outta her misery,” Bobby said. “She don’t deserve to be treated like shit. She’s a good girl.”

  He was right. Whatever my problem was, it wasn’t her fault. She didn’t deserve to be ignored.

  “I gotta … I gotta go home,” she announced before standing and swaying. She held onto the bar and the stool, but she still listed to the side. Her legs seemed like gelatin beneath her.

  Without a word to Bobby or Derek, I rushed forward and caught her before she fell. One arm around her back and the other under her knees, I scooped her off her feet. Cradling her in my arms, I pulled her close to my chest and held her tight.

  She glanced up at me, but her glazed stare probably couldn’t figure out who had picked her up. A sigh escaped her as she nuzzled her head into my chest and passed out.

  “Where’s her bag, I need her key.” I looked between Emma and Bobby.

  “Here,” Emma said. “I hid it from her so she couldn’t just leave.” She reached in and pulled the keys from the purse. Emma flipped through until she found the key to open the door. “She’s pretty smashed. Take care of her, Jake.”

  “Yeah,” I mumbled before turning and leaving out the back door.

  I walked steadily across the parking lot to Toni and Mia’s house. The house was dark and seemed empty. Her complaint when I walked into the bar earlier rang through my memory – Even when I don’t think I’m alone, I’m alone, ‘cause Jake don’t want me and I don’t want no one else.

  Unlocking the door, I pushed it open and walked into the dark living room, closing the door with my foot. I knew the layout just about as well as Toni and Mia, so I carried her toward the bedrooms, maneuvering easily through the gloom.

  I noted how effortlessly I carried her. Her tiny frame fit perfectly in my arms. I allowed myself the moment to enjoy the weight of her in my arms and how just holding her made my heart race. It was in that moment I realized trying to pull away and stay away from her would be impossible. All I did was upset her and act like a complete dick in the process, and for what? It didn’t make me forget about her. I could never forget about her.

  Gently, I placed her down on her mattress and covered her with the blanket. She looked incredibly peaceful lying there, sound asleep. I smoothed a curl from her face, pushing it behind her ear, and running my fingers through her soft curls. She was the most beautiful woman I knew. So why was it so hard to let myself have her? Why couldn’t I just let myself be happy? She was the only girl I ever wanted, no matter if it was middle school, high school, or now. It was time to get her back.

  Pulling a blanket and pillow from the closet, I made a bed for myself on the couch. Before lying down, I got a glass of water and aspirin, and placed it on the table next to her bed. What I wouldn’t do to just lie down and wrap my arms around her little body and nuzzle my face in her beautiful hair.

  ***

  “Jake?” Mia’s questioning voice pulled me from my restless sleep.

  It took me hours to fall asleep. The combination of the uncomfortable couch and Mia’s proximity made it impossible to sleep. It took all of my self-control to stay on the couch and not climb in bed with her.

  Sitting up, I rubbed the sleep from my eyes. Mia stood in front of me, the same clothes she wore last evening hung in disarray from her slim body. Her hair was a nest of curls sticking out in all directions. She looked gorgeous.

  “Jake? What’re you doin’ here?” she asked. Her russet skin was pale and sickly looking. She rubbed at her face and eyes, seeming as though she needed to clear her vision.

  “You had a little too much to drink last night. I brought you home. I didn’t want to leave you here alone, in case you needed somethin’,” I explained.

  She stood silently for a few moments before sighing loudly. “Ugh. It’s comin’ back to me now. I didn’t have a little too much to drink. I drank more than I ever have, ever.”

  Suddenly, she spun around and sprinted away. And there it was, the alcohol was coming back to get her.

  I followed her into the bathroom, just in time to see her fall to her knees in front of the toilet and start heaving. I moved in close and pulled her hair back from her face and neck, and held the mass of curls.

  “You don’t need to stay here for this,” she mumbled between heaves. “I’m fine. I can take care of myself.”

  Sometimes she was so infuriating. Of course she would pick this moment to assert her independence.

  “I know you can take care of yourself, Mia. You’ve never needed anyone to take care of you. I’m just tryin’ to help, is all. Let me help.”

  After that silence descended over the bathroom, she didn’t ask me to leave and I didn’t speak. I pulled a washcloth from the cupboard, wet it, and placed it on the back of her neck. Then just held her hair and rubbed her back while she expelled her demons from the night before.

  When she finally plopped down on the floor next to the toilet and leaned against the wall, her face was flushed, but her normal coloring was returning. She used the washcloth to wipe away the tears and sweat that had collected on her face.

  “Why’re you here bein’ so nice to me? You’ve barely talked to me in weeks. So why’re you here now?”

  “Takin’ care of my shit,” I mumbled more to myself than to her.

  They were right – Cade, Bobby, Gage – they were right. I was running from her. I still had the sense of fight or flight around her. I never knew how she felt because she was never open with her feelings. All of the confusion and misunderstandings were hard to let go of, it made it hard to just be with her. But I wanted her more than any other woman. It wasn’t just her body or her looks, it was her love for her family, her love for her students, and her brilliant mind that drew me to her.

  “What does that mean?” she asked quietly.

  “We need to talk, Mia. But not here,” I said gesturing around the bathroom. “And not now. Will you go out with me tonight?” I asked.

  “I don’t know, Jake. I mean I have a lot to do. The wedding is in less than a week. My mom and Mike will be here tomorrow.”

  Kneeling down in front of her, I looked her in the eyes. “Just a couple hours. It won’t hurt, and I’ll promise to help get things together. We need to talk.”

  This was it. I was going to fix my shit, or she was going to end things. One way or another, our story was going to reach its climax tonight.

  “Okay,” she whispered. “What time should I be ready?”

  “Seven o’clock. I’ll be here by seven to pick you up. Dress warmly, it’s cold out there.”

  ***

  Hours later I sat outside of Mia’s house and just stared at the door. I was a little leery of my plan for the evening, but she needed to know I was one hundred percent investe
d in her. She needed know I wanted her in my life, every part.

  I wasn’t sure what prevented me from sharing with her before, but she needed to know now.

  Out in the frigid December night, snow had started falling again, covering the grass and rooftops with a fresh layer of the white stuff. I rushed across the parking lot toward the door, just in time for her to swing the door open and step out. I stopped in my tracks, and stared at her long jean-clad legs. She wore black heeled boots up to her knees, and a black wool coat buttoned up to her throat.

  “What’re you doin’?” she questioned. “I thought you were waitin’ out here for me.” Her brow furrowed, she looked at me with confusion.

  “I was just thinkin’, that’s all. I’d never beep the horn for you to just come out.” I looked at her and smiled. She was beautiful all bundled up and ready for the cold. “You ready to go?” I stuck out my hand for her to take it.

  She placed her hand in mine and I pulled her into my arms. Why the hell I was running and hiding from my feelings, I wasn’t sure. Why I was afraid of what she felt, I didn’t know. All I did know was I was done concealing my feelings from her. I was done running.

  Rushing through the cold to the car, I tried to calm my rampant heartbeat. Today I’d open up to her completely and let her see everything about me.

  We drove quietly through town. I wasn’t sure why she was so quiet, but just as I was ready to ask, she started talking.

  “Jake, about last night …” she paused. “Why were you at the bar? What were you don’ there?”

  Honesty, she was looking for me to tell her what had prompted me to talk to her after my silence. “Bobby called me. Told me I needed to get there.”

  “You needed to deal with your shit.” She mumbled the words. I wished I hadn’t said that aloud earlier, but I had. “He made you come and take care of me.” Her words firmer this time, I could tell she was pissed, or at least getting there. “Just take me home. This was a mistake. I don’t need anyone to take care of me out of obligation.”