Under My Skin (Shady Falls Series Book 2)

by Shelly Davis

  “I ain’t here out of obligation, Mia. I’m here because I fucked up. I’m here because I shouldn’t have tried to stay away from you. I’m sorry.” I paused and turned on the street where my new restaurant sat. Pulling up in front of the darkened storefront, I breathed a nervous sigh.

  “What’re we doin’ here?” she asked me as she looked around at the empty street.

  Pulling her toward the door, I took out my keys and opened the front door. I pushed it open and led her into the dark room. It was mine, finally mine. In this room, in this moment, I had everything I’d ever wanted out of life. Mia could either make me or break me. I probably shouldn’t have chosen to do this here, it could ruin my first memories of this place, but somewhere inside I knew I had to. It had to be here, tonight.

  “Jake, what’re we doin’ in this place. What is this?” She sounded nervous.

  “Well, this is what’s been occupyin’ my time lately. This and the gym. This is why Monique was at the gym last night. This is what we were workin’ on.” She had to know I wasn’t with Monique for personal reasons. I didn’t want Monique, I wanted her.

  I flipped the switch on the wall next to me. Light flooded the room from the hundreds of twinkle lights I’d hung around the room. They cast a warm glow in the otherwise dark room. Sitting in the middle of the room was one table, set for dinner for two.

  “This is why Moni came to the gym last night.” I paused, hoping she finally realized Monique was just a friend. “She was the agent in charge of sellin’ this property. The moment she saw it, she knew I’d love it, and I did. She’s been tryin’ to get everything arranged for the sale and it finally all came through yesterday.”

  Mia looked around the room again. She seemed to look everywhere but at me. After a few moments of silence she finally spoke. She kept her eyes on her plate, her fork moving around the food. “Why have you been ignorin’ me?”

  Her words were so quiet, but her question was unmistakable. She wanted to know why I suddenly pulled away. What was I going to tell her? Should I admit to overhearing her confession? Or that I got so freaked out I couldn’t think straight?

  “Mia …” I started but then paused. Letting out a breath I went on. “I wasn’t tryin’ to blow you off. The truth is …” I paused and collected myself. I needed to be honest here. Honest. “The truth is, I didn’t trust you.”

  “Trust me?” she asked, her voice barely above a whisper.

  “I overheard you talkin’ to the redhead in your classroom the day I came to help Gage with gym class. I heard what you said to her.”

  She turned her head to look at me. Tears collected in the corners of her eyes. Not one tear fell, however. She stared at me for a long time, understanding filled her sad eyes. Her eyes widened, the hazel color seemed to darken as the whites of her eyes reddened. A single tear slid down her cheek. She didn’t wipe it away or try to hide her sadness.

  “You heard me say I was fallin’ in love with you?” Her voice still at a hoarse whisper. “You stopped talkin’ to me because you heard me?”

  “Yes. Look, I freaked out a little. The last time I let myself have feelings for you, it all crashed around me. I didn’t handle it well this time, I’m sorry.”

  “I want to go home.” Her quiet plea was muffled behind her hands.

  “No. I need you to listen to me. I need you to understand.” I waited to see what she would do. If she was going to push to leave, I’d take her home. But if she waited and listened, I was going to be completely honest with her. I owed it to both of us to be honest.

  “Please, take me home.” She stood and quickly walked toward the door.

  Relenting, let her lead the way out to the car. Her shoulders were slumped, as she walked across the empty sidewalk. I desperately wanted to pull her into my arms and make it all go away, but I couldn’t. We needed to find common ground.

  We drove in silence toward her house. Her silent sobs started to ebb the closer we got to the bar. I didn’t know what to say to make her understand. It was the fight or flight response I’d developed when it came to Mia, I was programed for flight. I’d never actually fought for her or anyone. I was finally ready to fight, but obviously she wasn’t.

  When she broke the silence I was shocked, but her words infuriated me. “You take one moment, and you assume you know everything.” Her soft voice was loud and clear in the quiet car. “You don’t know anything about me or how I feel. And the way you ignored me shows me you don’t care about me at all.”

  Her angered words set fire to my insides. I didn’t know how she could possibly think I didn’t care about her. How didn’t she understand I loved her? I told her, I showed her, and she was the one who threw me away. And after all this time, my brazen beauty had returned. The timid woman was nowhere to be seen.

  Heart hammering in my chest, I was determined to pour everything out of me, once and for all. She would know without a doubt that everything I felt was real.

  Chapter Twenty-Four

  Mia

  The rest of the ride home was silent. Jake’s rigid posture told me I’d probably pissed him off once and for all. I was sure it was better this way.

  He followed me to my door and just as I was ready to leave him for good, he stopped me cold.

  “You think I didn’t know you? You think I don’t know you now?” His deep, growling words sent a shock through me. I wasn’t afraid of him, but I was afraid of what he was going to say.

  “You don’t know anything about me.” My voice sounded uneasy, even to my own ears. “You need to leave,” I said with more firmness.

  “You love kids. You have since you were a kid yourself. You always knew you wanted to be a teacher. You volunteered every day at a school for children with special needs. Every single day you went and spent time with children who didn’t have anyone else. You planned dances and parties for them, you even learned to sew to make dresses for the girls just so they could feel like princesses for one night.”

  I felt my eyes widen. I stared at him in stunned silence. How did he know?

  “Then after you volunteered your time, you went to your real after school job. You worked every single day you could and saved every penny so you could help your mother. You didn’t want your single mother to kill herself working to take care of your needs, so you worked and secretly gave her money.”

  How did he know all this about me? I stared at Jake, shocked. I couldn’t speak. No one, not even my mother, knew I’d hide money in her purse or wallet so she had more than she realized.

  “You haven’t spoken to your father since he refused to help with your gym costs. He decided your gymnastics career wasn’t important, so he stopped paying. When he told you he wouldn’t help you, you let him walk out of your life and you never asked him for anything again.

  “You love brownies and chocolate cake. You love reading fantasy.” He paused for just a breath, but then immediately continued. “Any book dealing with wizards, demigods, aliens, or supernatural forces.” His voice filled my living room, and his words made me weak. My stomach churned and my heart hammered, thundering in my ears. How could he know all of this? Toni didn’t even know all of this.

  “You love romantic comedies, especially ones dealing with teenage love, you can’t get enough of them. You’re in love with the feeling you get every time you see the underdog get the person of their dreams. You’ve collected every book you’ve ever read. And you come to the gym every single day because you want to see me, and truth be told, I want to see you too.

  “Don’t tell me I don’t know you, Mia. I know everything worth knowing. I’ve paid attention to you, listened to what you had to say, and I see you. The real you, not what you want other people to see. What the hell do you know about me?”

  He turned and stormed out the door, into the dark winter night. A moment later his Jeep door slammed closed and his engine roared to life. I stood there and watched as his taillights faded into the night.

  Tears made tracks down my ch
eeks. I couldn’t believe he’d paid so much attention to me, even after we were no longer friends. What he didn’t know was that I watched him too. I saw him. And I suddenly realized how badly I screwed up everything.

  So he freaked a little when he heard me admit to my feelings. Was it so wrong of him to be afraid to open up to me?

  ***

  The next morning I sat in front of my vanity and took a good look at myself. My eyes were puffy from crying most of the night and my skin was blotchy and almost sickly looking. Not pretty at all, and my mother was coming to make plans for the wedding and reception. She’d know instantly there was something wrong.

  It had been a long night, with little gained from my lack of sleep. I still had no idea how I was going to fix things with Jake. How do you ask forgiveness for being a complete bitch not once but several times over almost a whole decade? Was there a special greeting card for that?

  A knock on the door drew me away from my mirror and my miserable thoughts. I needed to find a way to fix things with Jake. Even if I’d screwed everything up beyond repair, I wouldn’t forgive myself if I couldn’t at least find a way to apologize for being a total git.

  “Mia, you home, honey?” My mother’s voice sounded happier than she’d ever sounded before.

  “Comin’ mom.” I ran to the door and threw it open. Launching myself into her arms, I hugged her tight.

  “Honey, what’s wrong?” she asked, concern laced in her tone.

  The tears fell as I silently sobbed into her shoulder. It was a special trick only mothers possessed. You could be strong, holding yourself together, but the moment you see your mother every emotion boils over until you can’t control the tears, and right now I couldn’t stop the tears.

  “Mia. Tell me what’s wrong.”

  “I …” Stuttering, I told her the whole story. Everything poured out of me, starting back in high school and it all lead up to yesterday’s confrontation. “And I don’t know how to fix it.”

  “Sounds to me like you need to figure out what you want exactly. Because, based on what you’ve just told me, you’re not even sure yourself.”

  “What do you mean?” I asked, frustrated and confused. “I told you, I want Jake.”

  “But honey, have you shown him? It doesn’t seem like you have. You’re sendin’ that man mixed signals. If you want him, you gotta show him. He ain’t gonna read your mind and he certainly ain’t gonna keep chasin’ after someone who can’t make up her mind.”

  “But what do I do?” I whined. I felt like a petulant child that wasn’t getting her way, but I needed help. I needed my momma to tell me what to do.

  “Did I ever tell you how Mike and I got together?” she asked.

  Surprised, I realized she hadn’t. “I just figured it was proximity.”

  She laughed, her smile warm and full of love. “Not even close. Mike used to help me out when you girls were kids. He’d fix things, make sure the car was runnin’, and do odd jobs around the house. I always thought he was just bein’ nice. Since your father left, it was hard for me to trust. I couldn’t figure out what went wrong in our marriage. I blamed myself for years.

  “I didn’t see Mike, not for who he was, for a long time. He was kind and sweet, and he loved you like you were his own daughter. When your own father couldn’t be bothered, Mike was always there for you, for us. I always thought it was because you and Toni were such good friends. But one day, not long after y’all moved away to college, he came by and we got to talkin’. I found out it was never about you girls, not really. Over the years we became friends, and then we became more than friends. We became companions. And then we fell in love. Essentially Mike has been by my side and loyal for five years now. It was hard for me to trust after your father, but then, when I stopped blamin’ myself and realized it was your father who was to blame, I was able to move on.

  “You lost faith in love, Mia. Just like I did. Your father’s betrayal affected you just as much as it did me, maybe even more. You were so young, and suddenly your reality was ripped out from under you. But what you haven’t learned yet is what will help you. All men aren’t alike. Every man is different, and most don’t cheat, lie, and manipulate. Jake isn’t your father. He’s loved you since y’all were kids. And if you love him, you need to let him into your heart.”

  “But what if he is like the rest?” My voice was rough and raw. My emotions were shot to hell and I wasn’t sure how I was going to handle the weekend’s events.

  “He’s not, Mia. Don’t you see? He’s always been there for you. Remember, he’s always come to the rescue when you needed it. If he was like the rest, he woulda been done with you years ago.”

  She was right. Of course my mother was right. How she could’ve been through so much and still truly believe in love, it was amazing to me. But if she could do it, if she could find her love, then so could I. I just had to hope it wasn’t too late.

  “Now,” she said, taking my hand. “Let’s go. There’s been a change in plans.”

  “What change? What do you mean?”

  “Well, the party ain’t gonna be at the bar anymore. Jake’s lettin’ us use his new restaurant, and he and Dottie are makin’ the meal.”

  ***

  Hours of cleaning, stocking, and arranging at Jake’s restaurant left us no time to talk. There was so much to do and so many people around, it was impossible to even think about how I could talk to him.

  The night before the wedding, the restaurant was ready for the reception. Food and cake were prepared, decorations set, and gorgeous flowers were spread out around the room. Looking around, my heart swelled. The room looked elegant, romantic. The tables were set and tomorrow they would be lit with candlelight.

  Toni, Monique, and I were the last ones there the night before the wedding, putting the final touches on everything. Tomorrow my mother would marry Toni’s father in a little ceremony, then we would return to the restaurant to celebrate.

  “I knew this place was perfect for him,” Monique said. She walked up next to me and smiled. “Doesn’t this place just scream, Jake Hanson?”

  “Yeah.” I didn’t know what else to say. Part of me was irritated she knew him so well, that she could pick the perfect place for him, but at the same time I was happy she found his dream for him. Jake deserved to be happy.

  And that’s when it finally hit me. All these months of pining, of being mad or sad or frustrated; it was always about me. I wasn’t ever worried about what would make Jake happy, I was always just worried about what made me unhappy. Years I was away, doing my own thing and all of the sudden I’d thrown myself back into his life. I didn’t ask if he wanted me there, I just placed myself there. And when he wanted me, I punished him. I thought it made me stronger or made me feel better to be able to be around him and ignore him, but it just made me pathetic. He was a good man, who’d been there for me and helped me, and I treated him like shit.

  But Monique did things to give him what he wanted. Hell, she’d even tried talking sense into me. I wasn’t stupid enough to think that was ever about helping me, it was about helping Jake. She saw something when we were together and thought it meant something. Maybe it had, but I’d screwed it up.

  “You know, it ain’t too late,” Monique said without looking at me. “He cares. He’s pissed and confused, but he cares.”

  “She’s right, Mia.” Toni walked up to my other side and stood there. “He loves you. He doesn’t want to right now, you broke his heart again. But he’ll forgive you. You just need to show him what is in your heart.”

  “Are you sure?” I asked. There was nothing more for me to say. I knew they were both right. It was time for me to let go of the past, of my fears, and let him in completely.

  “Yes,” Toni said. “I gotta go. Julius texted, he’s waitin’ outside. You want me to walk you out?”

  “No, I’m fine. Thanks though.”

  “Okay, see y’all tomorrow.”

  They’d finally moved all of her things o
ut of our place over the past weeks. Slowly but surely, Toni had finally stopped staying at our house and had started staying with Julius almost every night. I was happy for her. I knew it was only a matter of time before he popped the question. But until then, I knew she’d still stay with me from time to time.

  “I love her,” Monique said. “Toni just tells it how it is. But, she’s right. Jake loves you. He may be mad right now, but you’re who he wants. Talk to him.”

  “How can you be so sure?”

  “Because I know Jake.” Her answer was simple and straight forward. “I’m gonna go too. You ready?”

  “No, I wanted to put a few finishing touches on my mother’s bouquet. I’ll see you tomorrow at the ceremony.”

  It felt good to finally be alone. Over the past few days, there had been little alone time. Gathering the flowers and the bouquets, I began to add to the arrangements, all the while my mind wandered. My insecurity and indecisiveness was what had caused all of the problems with Jake. He had been there for me; years of being there when I needed and paying attention when I didn’t think anyone actually saw me. But he did.

  By the time I placed the bouquets in the refrigerator, it was almost midnight. My tired limbs, aching and heavy, barely wanted to carry me to my car.

  The night seemed so much darker than normal, snow clouds had rolled in, blocking out the moon and stars. Even the streetlights didn’t seem to light up the night. I hated being alone in the dark. Walking by myself in the dark always made me uncomfortable. I’d imagine monsters and aliens were watching from the shadows, waiting to pounce. My car was only across the street, just under a streetlight.

  “Mia.” My name echoed down the empty street and I knew instantly that monsters were real. But instead of otherworldly beings, my monster was flesh and blood, and much more dangerous.

  I rushed forward and tried to get to my car before Grant caught up with me. His fast footfalls were just behind me. I didn’t think he was dangerous, but apparently I wasn’t the best judge of character.