JAYDEN

by Becca Fanning

  Before she could do little more than wail, he managed to fit a fourth finger into her cunt. She shrieked and clamped down on him in reaction. “No!”

  Her holler had him wincing, but he kept his fingers there. “Baby, feel me. Feel how good it is when I do this…” He returned to raking down her front walls, and though his mouth was fucking superglued to her clit, he looked up and watched her react to the touch.

  Within thirty seconds, release was pounding through her. He saw it coming in the dazedness of her eyes—she was blind. Though her eyes were open, she wasn’t seeing anything. He saw it in the shuddery breaths she took, as well as the tension in her stomach which was clamped down so hard it would ache later.

  As it roared through her, she didn’t make a sound, but her head pushed back into the bed with a force that made him wince as her hips shot up in response.

  He worked fast. Knowing that haze wouldn’t last long. When she relaxed enough to drop back to the bed, to drop her hips once more, after the ecstasy of the moment had dissipated some, he immediately shucked upward, grabbed her calves and pressed them around his hips. Grabbing his cock with one hand, he pressed it to her cunt, cautious to fit the tip in right and not hurt her, then he thrust.

  All the way in.

  He felt the barrier, knew he tore through it, but the tight clinging of her walls had him roaring with wonder. This was his woman. His mate. Goddess, could anything feel more perfect?

  His eyes eventually opened seconds later. It felt like a lifetime though. What he saw when he looked at her, both broke his heart and thrilled him. Yes, her eyes were prickling with tears. They drenched the bottom lid until they spilled over. Each tear was like a knife to his heart. But, the excitement shielded by the tears was a balm to his pain.

  With a shudder, he whispered, “It’s done, love.”

  She nodded. “Is this sex?”

  For a second, he froze, wondering what she meant. “You mean, is this it? Is it done now?” When she nodded again, he felt his eyes bug out. “No, sugar. This isn’t it.”

  Oh, to be a fly on the wall.

  He wasn’t sure who’d be more stunned. Her for his answer, or him for her question.

  Shaking his head, he slipped his hand between their bodies and began to fondle her clit. The instant he did that, any and all astonishment disappeared. Her eyelids fell heavy, and she licked her lips.

  Leaning over her so their chests were together, the tight mounds of her tits pressing into his chest, he asked, “That good, baby?”

  “Y-Yeah,” she said breathily.

  His lips twitched. “I can make you feel so good.”

  She gulped. “I-Is it supposed to feel good? Ava said so, but the Church…”

  The minute she dropped the C-word, he grunted. “The Church has no idea about how things like this should be between a man and his woman. Let me show you the right way.”

  And he proceeded to do just that.

  Chapter 11

  The drag of Kon’s penis—no, his dick, she corrected herself, trying not to wince at the profanity—against her most intimate parts was like nothing she could have imagined. Well, that wasn’t difficult considering she had never really bothered to imagine what this would feel like. It hadn’t been a priority in her life. Even when, all of a sudden, she’d had two men clamoring, it hadn’t crossed her mind.

  Now, it was doing more than crossing her mind.

  Each thrust dragged her closer to something that could only be described as heaven, but that wasn’t right because it was blasphemous. Sex and heaven did not belong in the same sentence together.

  Right?

  She bit back a cry as he began to speed up, his hips moving faster, and his fingers too. That part of her he was caressing felt like it was going to combust. She’d never experienced anything similar to this, and knew and was grateful that it was one of her men who was enlightening her to this.

  Before she could think about Jay for too long, Kon distracted her. He seemed to bottom out inside her, and rather than pull out, he began to move back and forth, his butt pumping into her as his fingers drove her wild.

  She let out a cry as delight cascaded through her unlike anything she’d ever known. She could only experience the fireworks that shattered behind her eyes, blinding her with their beauty as her nerve endings were frazzled by what he’d done to her.

  She felt a sharp prick, then pain ping along the same clamoring nerve endings. At her throat, she felt his teeth burrow deeper, and rather than push him off as she should have done, instead, she grabbed his head—the first time she’d touched him since he’d put himself inside her—and held him to her.

  Whatever he was doing, sure it hurt, but it was nothing in comparison to the duality of the sensations bombarding her.

  Just when she felt like she couldn’t take anymore, the fireworks ceased. In their place came an inferno the likes of which battled a raging inferno in grandeur.

  A scream throbbed in her throat, and she could do no less than release it, then, when it came, embrace the darkness. Because after such burning brightness, the pitch black was a welcome and willing relief.

  The scent of sex filled the room. It wasn’t exactly uncommon for their bedroom to smell this way, so at first, Jay didn’t register the difference. But, when he realized the scent hadn’t been around since Leila, he figured Kon had gotten to her.

  He closed his eyes as he shut the door behind him. Back to the wall, the essence of their union clouding his senses, he wasn’t sure whether to be angry, happy, or sad.

  After the conversation he’d just had with his mother, maybe he ought to have been relieved.

  Instead, he was disappointed. While, simultaneously, feeling relief.

  Jesus, talk about confusing.

  The bedroom was dark, but the shades weren’t pulled. He gathered the sex had happened a little while ago while he’d been out on errands with his mom. A part of him wondered why she’d gone to Kon for this, her first time, and then another part was glad for Kon’s sake.

  It had never escaped Jay’s notice that most women they fucked were scared of his brother. It was why he could feel some semblance of relief; Leila wasn’t frightened of him. But, at the same time, he did feel some jealousy and he kind of hated himself for that.

  He toed off his boots and slipped into the darkness. Only his night vision stopped him from walking into the bed and taking the side where Kon was. The last thing he wanted was to be beside his bro. Not because he was mad, but when Leila was about, he wanted to be close to her. It was a no brainer.

  With a sigh, he climbed onto the bed, trying not to disturb the mattress. The sheets rustled, but neither stirred. He tilted his head on the pillow so he could look at their sleeping mate. Over her head, he could see Kon, could see his bro was awake and was watching him.

  “She asked,” he said softly.

  Jay just blinked at him.

  “How long has she been asleep?”

  “It’s the mating sleep,” Kon told him. “A few hours.”

  Jay cocked a brow. “That’s a long time.”

  Kon shrugged. “It was pretty intense. I wouldn’t be surprised if she was rebooting just to come to terms with what happened.”

  The long hiss that escaped him was one he’d have preferred to withhold but couldn’t. Kon winced.

  “I never meant for this to happen. She was explaining that it was so hard to let us claim her because we were asking her to do something alien for her. That if it had just been one of us, she’d probably have gone through with the binding earlier.” Kon grimaced. “I wanted to wait but at the same time, I could tell she built up all her courage.”

  Jay closed his eyes. “I get that. We’d best get some sleep. We don’t know what we’re in for tomorrow. Not if she has a gift manifest.”

  Kon grunted, but Jay ignored him.

  He didn’t sleep though.

  It was hard.

  The emotions roiled around inside him, and he wasn’t sure if it
was because his mate bond was still in flux or if it was simply envy and the need to understand why she’d picked Kon over him. Plus, with the scent of his mate’s orgasm floating in the air, his Bear wasn’t exactly at peace.

  Around four in the morning, he dozed. He knew because dawn was breaking before he finally managed to sleep, and then, when he awoke, it was bright out and the bed was empty of his brother, but his mate was still sleeping.

  Unsure as to why Kon had pulled a disappearing act, Jay frowned. Then, he frowned harder, wondering why Leila hadn’t woken up yet.

  Concerned, he leaned forward and pressed a kiss to her forehead. In the long hours of the night, he’d come to terms with her decision, and just prayed she’d be as eager to complete their bond soon. He didn’t expect her to be ready for at least a few days.

  Virgins were sore afterward, weren’t they?

  Well, not that he knew. But he had a brain between his ears. He could figure it out.

  At his kiss, she mumbled under her breath, then moaned. “Jay?”

  It still astonished him that she could tell the difference between them. But now? That bewilderment was a thousand times stronger.

  How couldn’t it be?

  She recognized him without opening her eyes, and he knew, without a shadow of a doubt, that it had nothing to do with pot luck reasoning.

  “Yes, baby,” he told her softly.

  “Are you mad at me?” Finally, her sleep-hazed eyes peeped up at him. His gaze dropped to her throat, where he could see the claiming mark easily in the light.

  He also saw what his night vision had prompted him to realize, but hadn’t really registered. She was fully dressed.

  He blinked. “Why are you wearing clothes?”

  “Kon wanted to make sure I was comfortable.”

  “And you were comfortable like this?”

  She wrinkled her nose. “I’m not as at ease with being naked as you.”

  He snorted. “You say that like it’s a bad thing.” He waggled his eyebrows, smiling when she laughed.

  “It’s not a bad thing for me because I enjoy the scenery, but it is when it comes to me.” She bit her lip. “If you can tease, does that really mean you’re not mad?”

  “I’m not mad at you,” he admitted on a sigh.

  “You’re mad at Kon?” Before he could answer, she shot him an earnest look. “There’s no need to, Jay. I asked him. Not the other way around. He wasn’t muscling in or anything. He didn’t coerce me. I swear.”

  Jay, though unsettled, knew his brother well enough to realize she spoke the exact truth. Kon would never do anything to jeopardize their relationship. More than that, he knew Leila wouldn’t either.

  “I know,” he told her softly.

  “I’m sorry I can’t be everything you need,” she whispered softly, and the sadness in her eyes had him flinching.

  “Don’t ever say that,” he said fiercely. “We love you exactly the way you are. We’d never want to change you.”

  “I know how much Kon wants to share me with you…”

  “He can. Just not in the way we always envisioned.” His own defense of a situation that had led to this astonished even him, but for her… well, he’d do anything.

  Where Leila was concerned, she was more than simply his Achilles’ heel. He needed to make sure she was happy, because she was his happiness.

  Before he’d met her, before he’d experienced these feelings, he would never have understood the insanity rolling through his mind on a regular basis. But as it stood, now, he understood.

  How could he not?

  She was his everything. Going above and beyond for her was par for the course. Even if that meant shoving aside long held desires and needs, that was the way of it.

  For her, he’d do anything.

  And this wasn’t just about her comfort, it was about her intrinsic faith. He knew that, and to be honest, was kind of mad he hadn’t approached her about this earlier. If he had, they would already have been mated a few weeks ago.

  She cuddled into him when he slipped his arm underneath her pillow and dragged her close.

  “I never want you to feel bad about anything like this, okay? You are who you are, and I love you for that, Leila,” he whispered against her temple, unable to whisper the words to her when they were staring each other in the face.

  At his declaration, she froze, then murmured, “You love me?”

  “I do.”

  She swallowed, audibly enough for his lips to twitch. “I love you too.”

  “Have you told my brother you love him?” Not because it was a competition, but because if anyone needed the words, it was Kon. He was used to being on the outside looking in where women were concerned, and Jay truly didn’t want his brother to feel like that when it came to Leila.

  She shook her head. “No.”

  “Why not?”

  “I don’t know. I just haven’t yet.”

  “You feel that for him though, don’t you?”

  “Of course, I do.” She tilted her head to scowl up at him. “I’m offended you think I don’t. Gosh, I fell for both of you ridiculously quickly.”

  “I’m glad to hear we’re irresistible,” he teased, making her pinch him on the belly. He laughed when he grabbed her hand, but his laughter stilled when she threaded her fingers through his.

  “You are to me,” she told him grandly, and he realized then that whatever she and Kon had done last night had gone a long way to working on her confidence. She was a strong little thing, but so waifish sometimes, it was easy to feel like she needed protection.

  This was the woman who had left a cult, for God’s sake. She needed no protection. Not really. She’d stolen from an MC. And was taking on two mates.

  This woman, if anything, was powerful.

  More than that, she was theirs.

  Pride for her filtered through him. It must have changed his expression because she cocked a brow at him and asked, “Why are you looking at me like that?”

  “I’m proud of you,” he admitted.

  Her eyes widened. “You are? Why? I haven’t done anything.”

  “Yes, you have. You’ve done lots and that’s why I’m proud.” He lowered his mouth to kiss her nose. “Thank you for being you, Leila.”

  She giggled a little. “I’m not sure I know how to be anything else, Jay, but I’m glad you’re not ashamed of me.”

  Tension flooded him at words that slipped so easily from between her lips. How could she say that? It always astonished him when she could be so disparaging about herself, but do it she did, and bewildering him was something she alone was capable of. “I would never be ashamed of you. You surprise me every day and I would never change that.”

  Her smile was broad, but she nuzzled into him, and settling in for the long haul, apparently.

  Well, he wasn’t about to complain about that, was he?

  He didn’t have ‘fool’ tattooed on his fucking forehead.

  As she cuddled into him, he had to grin as her shirt brushed his arm. “I can’t believe Kon claimed you when you were fully dressed.” Then, ruefully, he said, “I can’t believe I’ll probably claim you when you’re fully dressed, too.”

  She tensed a little, then whispered, “I’m sorry.”

  “There’s no need to be sorry, it just tells me how badly you have us twisted around your little finger.” He sighed, squeezed their still joined hands. “We love you though, so there’s no harm done, it just amuses me when I think of the past.”

  “I don’t particularly want you to be thinking of other women when you’re lying here next to me,” came the waspish retort.

  He snorted. “I’m not thinking about the women, sugar. Why would I? They held my attention for about as long as it took me to climb out of bed and get onto my bike. I’m thinking about mine and Kon’s response to them. How we were back then and how we are with you.”

  “You weren’t very nice to the ladies you did those things with, were you?”

&nb
sp; He grimaced. “We didn’t treat them badly, and we were very careful not to hurt them. But physically and emotionally are two different things I’m coming to see. I would never dream of doing anything like that to you, which tells me we were bastards. At the time, I had no meter though. No measure of realizing that we were treating them wrongly.”

  She nuzzled her nose into his chest, then her hand moved in his. Figuring she was pulling her fingers from his, he loosened his hold on her, but she surprised him by moving her hand down to the apex of her thighs.

  “Sugar,” he warned. “You don’t have to do anything you’re not ready for. You’ll be sore.”

  Her hips rocked on the bed a little. “I don’t feel it.”

  Jay frowned. “Are you numb or something?” He knew how big his brother was, and he and Jay were identical in all things.

  If she’d been fucked for the first time by Kon, then she needed a little respite.

  “No. I just don’t feel sore,” she confessed. “It hurt at first, but when I woke up there was no discomfort.”

  “None at all?” He frowned, considered it, then murmured, “I’m going to get you something. I’ll be back in less than a minute, okay?”

  She groaned. “I don’t want you to go anywhere.”

  “I know,” he said ruefully. “But it won’t take long.”

  She pouted but relinquished her hold on him. He clambered off the bed, then headed for the connecting bath. Running the hot water, he grabbed a small towel, soaked it in the water once it was hot, then wrung it out.

  Returning with the cloth in hand, he knelt at the base of the bed and said, “Spread your legs, baby doll.”

  Her cheeks turned bright pink and her eyes glistened with mortification. Hell, he thought she was going to choke on her next breath, instead, she gulped, shuddered a little, but did as he’d asked.

  “Good girl,” he said softly, then placed the cloth against her pussy. Letting the heat seep through the fabric, he carefully cleaned her up as best as he could without soap, then threw the cloth onto the floor. Before she could do little more than squeak, he knelt down and studied her.