Arise (Cruel and Beautiful World Book 3)

by L. Stoddard Hancock

  But then that beautiful future melted away and all Xander saw was darkness. Saevus would not win the war, that much was clear, but if he killed Talon, the girl Xander loved so fiercely would break.

  The world still moving incredibly slow, Xander watched as Talon spun toward Saevus, his eyes wide and frozen as he waited for the inevitable.

  As much as it pained Xander to admit it, he knew Deryn could be happy in a world without him. It might take some time but she would get there. Her life ... her freedom ... her family, those were the most important things to him.

  Talon was the last of her family, her flesh and blood. She had already lost so much. If only one of them could survive this, Xander knew it shouldn’t be him.

  Xander felt his arm move, still in slow motion but starting to speed up again. And, by the time it was pointed at Talon, it all caught up to him. He launched wind, hurling Talon out of the way and putting himself in the line of fire. Red flames shot out of Saevus’s Element, barely brushing Talon’s foot but hitting Xander in the side.

  Xander tried so hard to move out of the way. Still fighting for that future until his very last breath.

  “NO!”

  Xander pictured Deryn’s face as her scream filled his ears. He stumbled backwards, not realizing he was so close to the edge until he was plummeting toward the ground.

  Talon wobbled on his gravpack and jumped back to his feet. He took one look at Xander falling and felt a fury like no other. He noticed Deryn’s knife on the ground, waiting there like it was meant for him.

  Saevus stood behind his bubble shield, watching Xander fall. There was an expression on his face that could only be described as regret. He truly hadn’t meant to hurt Xander, even after everything. He’d cared about him, in his own twisted way.

  Talon picked up the knife and charged at him. The blade went through the shield. Talon activated the laser, striking it across Saevus’s neck and taking his head clear off. A fitting end.

  As it fell, so did every last guard, the whiteness melting from their eyes until they were back to normal.

  Deryn had missed all of that. She’d kicked on her boots and sped across the balcony the moment Xander went over, her arms stretched out for him long before she reached the edge.

  She grabbed him but they were still falling, slower than before but fast enough to hurt them critically.

  Someone grabbed Deryn from behind, holding her up while she held Xander. When April appeared in front of her, she knew it had to be Sam. They got them safely to the ground.

  “Help!” Deryn screamed to whoever was listening. “HELP!”

  “Shit,” said April, noticing the wound on Xander’s side.

  Izzy hurried over from where April had dropped her. “I’ll get our medical team!” she said, running across the street.

  Deryn crouched beside Xander, staring into his eyes as he struggled to breathe. “Xander, please! Stay with me!”

  “Der ... Dery ...”

  “Yes, it’s me!” said Deryn, rubbing her fingers tenderly across his cheek.

  “Dammit, Xander, no!”

  Deryn looked up as Adrian and Harper landed beside them. Harper immediately began inspecting Xander’s wound, but it was of little use. It was too large, too deep. There was nothing she could do, even if she had the proper equipment.

  Back on the balcony, Luka was hanging over the edge. “Someone take me down! Please! Someone take me down!” he cried.

  Dakota grabbed him, flying him to the ground while Talon and Nita followed.

  Luka landed beside Deryn, his entire body shaking as he fell to his knees. He followed Xander’s body up until he was looking into his eyes.

  “T-take c-care of her, L-Luka.”

  Luka shook his head. “No. You do it.”

  “I ...”

  “Xander, please,” Deryn cried. “Please, don’t die on me now. We fought too hard for it to end like this. I need you.”

  “Y-you don’t -” He coughed, blood dribbling from his lips. “- need me, Der ... yn. You’ll be ... f-fine.”

  Xander noticed Dakota drop to his knees beside him.

  “If L-Luka won’t ... then T-Trigg-gger -”

  “No one is going to take care of me but you!” shouted Deryn. She entwined his hand with hers, showing him the ring she wore before placing them over his heart. “Please.”

  It was becoming harder for Xander to keep his eyes open, but he didn’t want to go just yet. He wanted to keep looking at her.

  Deryn glanced away when she heard someone calling. Izzy was running over to them with two people trailing after her.

  Deryn was about to stand up to meet them when Xander used the last of his strength to pull her back.

  “No. St-stay with me.”

  She looked into his golden eyes, her lip quivering as she was overcome with a pain so horrible she thought she would die from it.

  “Deryn ... I love you ...”

  Everything was darkening.

  “I love you, too,” she said, her voice faint as his grip on her hand weakened.

  As Xander was looking at her, a memory surfaced. He saw Godfrey, finally understanding the pain he must have felt as he’d stared at the children he loved, realizing he would have to leave them behind.

  “I wish I could stay.”

  “Then stay,” she whispered back to him.

  A tear slid down Xander’s cheek. His father’s last words suddenly came back to him. “It’s never too late to start over.”

  Soon after, Xander Ruby left.

  CHAPTER 57

  “No.”

  Deryn saw the light leave his eyes, she felt his hand go limp in hers but she refused to believe it.

  Xander would never leave her. He’d promised.

  “No,” she said again, needing to convince herself that her eyes were wrong. “No, no, no, no, no, NO!”

  Deryn grabbed his arms, shaking him, urging him to wake up with everything she had.

  “Xander, please! Please!”

  “Deryn, stop.” Talon grabbed her but she shoved him away.

  “No! He’s not dead! He’s not dead! He’s not dead!”

  “Deryn.”

  Talon grabbed her again, pulling her away from Xander’s body and into his arms.

  “No!” she cried, sobbing into her brother’s chest. “T-Talon, please! He promised me! He ... He promised -”

  Tears fell from Talon’s eyes as he rocked his little sister, unsure of what he could ever do to make this better.

  There was nothing that could make this better.

  “I ...” Deryn choked on a sob. “I can’t do this without him. I ... I can’t ...”

  Sam reached down and closed Xander’s eyes, tears falling silently as they all tried to keep it together for Deryn, who was shattering further with each breath she took.

  With each breath Xander didn’t take.

  Luka stood up and walked away.

  His body moved though he felt nothing, every inch of him numb until he was alone and could finally let himself break.

  Luka collapsed, his fists hitting the ground as it all sank in.

  He was alone.

  They’d won the war but lost everything that mattered. How could this pain pressing in his chest ever be worth it?

  Luka had done everything right. He’d sacrificed his very soul to keep Xander safe with Deryn. To protect Bronson from the curse that came with loving him. He’d lied, he’d killed, he’d held in the pain, he’d died a little inside each day.

  And still he’d lost them both.

  Luka closed his eyes and screamed as loud as he possibly could, his tears soaking the pavement beneath him.

  A shadow hovered over him.

  He looked up, sobbing harder when he saw Evangeline there. Her eyes were so much like Anna’s, the first person to ever show him compassion.

  Evangeline wiped the tears from her eyes and sat beside him.

  She stayed there, saying nothing, letting Luka cry and scream and curse t
he world for being so cruel. When he finally calmed, she took his hand, reminding him that, no matter what happened next, he was not alone.

  • • •

  Deryn knelt in the sand, her chin propped on the small wooden boat as she gazed at Xander’s body inside of it. He still looked so much like the man she loved, but that was where the similarities ended. There was nothing deeper. No crooked smile, no smart-ass comment, no eyes shining golden in the light. It was just a shell that had once carried something so precious inside of it. But no more.

  Deryn reached in and pressed her palm to Xander’s heart. Not beating. Still real.

  It had been three days since she’d lost him and it hadn’t gotten any easier.

  The Resistance had gathered and embalmed the bodies of their fallen comrades. Despite Piz’s great attempt, there hadn’t been enough boats to accommodate all of the lives lost.

  And one extra.

  In her grief, Deryn had gone to Xander’s childhood home and dug up the backyard until she’d unearthed his mother’s body. When Deryn was found there, she was caked in mud and crying over Penelope Ruby’s bones.

  Now Penelope had a boat beside her son. They were finally at the ocean together, just as they’d always wanted.

  Deryn shuddered at the thought.

  Not like this. They never wanted this.

  By the time the flames had diminished enough to enter Saevus’s tower, there had been nothing left of Atticus Ruby. Still, Deryn had gathered up the ashes around where she knew he’d fallen, hoping to send at least part of him off with his wife and son. The ashes had been sprinkled into the bottom of both their boats.

  “Deryn.”

  Deryn turned, crying all over again when she saw Luka standing beside Bronson’s boat. It was his turn. She wiped her tears, wondering if they would ever end.

  Quigley hobbled up from the shore, his leg in a cast that was already damp from guiding Fiona’s flaming boat out to sea.

  He stopped in front of Bronson’s boat, shaking his head as he stared down at his best friend.

  “Give me a moment,” said Quigley, dropping his crutch and kneeling beside Bronson. He took his friend’s cold hand in his and kissed it. “I love you, Brother.”

  Luka flinched. He hadn’t forgiven Quigley and was very protective of Bronson’s body. But Deryn had convinced him to behave that day. Because it was what Bronson would have wanted, to have the three of them by his side.

  A pair of legs appeared on the other side of the boat and Quigley glanced up. Harper stood there, holding a small bouquet of yellow flowers. “May I?” she asked.

  Quigley nodded. She smiled as best she could and placed the flowers on Bronson’s chest. She’d done the same for Fiona with purple flowers, feeling so much regret that she hadn’t found her old friends sooner.

  Deryn helped Quigley to his feet while Harper brought him his crutch.

  Luka leaned down next, his eyes red and strained as he stared at Bronson’s handsome face. He leaned in and kissed him, hiccupping as his tears dripped between their lips. He pulled back and hurried away. Finley, who was standing close by, wobbled over to Luka in her leg cast. She hugged him tightly as he sobbed against her neck.

  Deryn was next. She leaned down and stroked Bronson’s hair, keeping her hand there as she kissed his cheek. “Your Cupcake will always love you, Baldric Bronson.”

  Luka composed himself and returned to carry Bronson’s boat to the water. Harper helped Quigley walk down the beach. He was the one handed the torch.

  Quigley, Luka and Deryn all stared at Bronson one last time. Quigley closed his eyes as he lowered the torch, unable to watch as he set the boat aflame.

  The torch was taken from him and he watched as Luka guided the boat through the waves. Deryn took his hand and gazed at the boat carrying Bronson, watching as a piece of her heart vanished from existence.

  Then it was Xander’s turn.

  When she turned back to the coast, part of her felt violated when she saw that Xander’s boat had already been moved to the shore.

  Finley stood beside it, choking on her sobs while Dakota comforted her. Talon and Nita had done the pushing. They both watched Deryn in silence.

  Evangeline, Adrian and Harper stood behind Talon and Nita. Farther up the beach, Sam and April sat with several of their fellow Peace Ops officers. A tear slid down April’s cheek, but she wiped it away quickly. Sam wasn’t as proud and openly wept.

  Miki, Kemp and Ronan were also there, watching from the forest. The only three left of the small family they had formed while trapped within Utopia’s walls.

  Those close by turned away as Deryn kneeled beside Xander one last time. She smiled as the wind blew his dusty-blond hair from his forehead.

  “I love you. I know you would never believe it but I need you to understand something. You loved me when I wasn’t even capable of loving myself. I regret nothing that ever happened to me, because it led me to you.” She leaned down and pressed her lips against his ear. “You always deserved me. Now fly home, my blackbird.”

  Deryn did not kiss his cold lips, because that was not how she wanted to remember them. She wanted to remember the warmth they held. The passion. The love that made her heart sing.

  Finley said her goodbye next. She told Xander she loved him and kissed his cheek before scurrying away.

  Then it was Quigley’s turn. “I’m sorry I failed you,” he said, squeezing Xander’s hand.

  Deryn stared over her shoulder at Luka. He would be the last one to say goodbye.

  But as Luka knelt beside Xander, he said nothing. He just stared at his oldest friend, knowing that no words could ever convey the pain he felt. More than anything, he’d wanted Xander to have his happy ending, but life didn’t work like that. It gave beautiful things and cruelly tore them away before they even had a chance to blossom.

  Luka whimpered as he looked at Xander for the last time.

  “He needs to go out with his mother,” said Deryn as Luka rose.

  Talon nodded. “We have her ready to go.” He pointed to the boat on his other side.

  A torch was handed to Deryn. She went and lit Penelope Ruby’s boat first before returning to Xander’s.

  Deryn lowered the torch but pulled it back. This would be the last time she ever saw him. Even after tearing his father’s house apart, the most recent photo she could find was when he was about fourteen.

  That wasn’t the Xander she knew and loved. This was.

  Tears fell silently as she lowered the torch again. The boat went up in flames.

  Deryn watched as Luka led Xander’s boat through the waves, Talon leading his mother’s just beside him.

  They were the last on the beach that day.

  Hundreds of boats glowed like stars on the horizon, the guiding lights for the lost souls returning home.

  And then they began to sing.

  We sail across the sea, the sea

  To the land, the land that be

  We sail beyond with broken wings

  Leaving behind these broken things

  We sail across the sea, the sea

  To the land, the land that be

  We say goodbye with sunken eyes

  But a love this strong will never die

  We sail across the sea, the sea

  To the land, the land that be

  We travel beyond these open skies

  Until again we will arise.

  When the song ended, Deryn lifted two fingers to the sky. For the first time in her life it felt like more than a symbol.

  Peace was no longer a distant dream. It was real.

  CHAPTER 58

  Deryn sat on the porch swing outside of her old home in Redwood. She rocked with a book closed in her lap, staring mindlessly at the people building new homes where burnt ones once sat.

  It had been two weeks since she’d watched Xander drift out to sea and it still hadn’t gotten any easier. Her heart was hollow. Often, she would find herself clutching it, her body’s sad attem
pt at healing the pain.

  Luka was sitting on the porch steps, holding a mug of untouched tea. He never let her out of his sight anymore, too afraid that she might disappear along with everyone else he loved. When Deryn had returned to Redwood he’d followed her there, unsure of where he was supposed to go. He’d helped Deryn and Talon clean their old house, along with Nita, and was now sleeping on the couch, even though Talon had offered him his old room. He and Nita had moved into Godfrey’s room, since it had the only bed big enough for two.

  It felt weird being back in Redwood after all this time, sleeping in the same bed she had as a child. Before it all began.

  For Deryn, it didn’t feel like home anymore. Xander had been her home and, without him, her old house felt empty.

  Home was in the heart, and her heart was in ashes on the bottom of the ocean.

  While watching Luka, she noticed him tense. She followed his gaze and saw Quigley limping toward them. “Luka. Don’t.”

  Luka grumbled.

  “Bronson would want us to forgive him,” she reminded him for the hundredth time.

  He sighed and turned his head away from her.

  “Hi.” Quigley smiled at Deryn. He glanced sideways at Luka but noticed his avoidance.

  “How’s your leg feeling today?” asked Deryn.

  “Better. Harper says it’ll take some time but it will be normal again.”

  “Great. So when can you head back to Driftwood?” said Luka without looking at him.

  “Luka!” Deryn snapped.

  “Umm ...” Quigley stared down at the ground, trying to hide the hurt in his eyes. “I’m not. Harper and I are the only ones left from there and all of the buildings were burned down almost a decade ago. There’d be no point.”

  “Quigley, sit for a moment. The three of us need to talk,” said Deryn.