Fearlessly Yours

by R. S. Broadhead

  I sat up, breathed evenly, and twisted around until my feet hit the floor. I listened, not sure if Bri was gone. I was sure she had to be. If I had to guess, it had to be nearly lunch. I swayed slightly and touched my forehead. It pounded at the temples. Everything ached. Yeah, I had definitely slept too long. I fidgeted before finally pushing up to a standing position. The room seemed to rock beneath my feet. I touched the bed for support and shook my head.

  Food. I needed sustenance. That would make this blah feeling go away. I stumbled to the kitchen, staying close to the wall. I swallowed repeatedly, the feeling of nausea hinting at the back of my throat. In the kitchen, I opened cabinets until a box of strawberry Pop-Tarts came into view. It wasn’t what I wanted, but it was something easy and quick to put in my stomach. I dropped one in the toaster and pushed down the lever. Tapping the counter, I rolled my head back. The wait seemed to be forever.

  When it popped, I grabbed it and chewed cautiously. After about thirty minutes I managed to put the entire thing down and felt somewhat better.

  I shuffled back to my bedroom and threw some clothes on, then wrestled with my tangled hair and went to the bathroom to brush my teeth. The girl in the mirror had a pallid face. It looked odd against the healthy bronze glow of the rest of my body. I turned on the faucet and splashed some cool water against my skin. It didn’t do much for the pallor.

  I went back to the living room and grabbed a book from Bri’s shelf. It was something I did every day. By now, I had made a pretty good dent in her tiny collection of literature. Most of the books still had that new smell when I cracked them open. Bri was an impulse buyer. She bought the latest trends in reading material but never bothered to actually read them. She only used them to make somewhat cute pictures on Instagram.

  I sat down on the lawn chair, putting the book in my lap as I took in the dark sky above me. Stormy weather always made the best reading times. When I was younger, I would lay in my mother’s bed while she read to me. Those were some of the best memories I had with her.

  I opened the cover and, despite wanting to close my eyes again, started to read. It wasn’t my usual genre, but nonetheless, it hooked me with the first chapter. That was something I hadn’t expected. About halfway into it, there was a loud knock at the front door. I jumped, which sent the book into the air. It landed about a foot from my chair with a plop.

  Maybe it hadn’t been the door; maybe it was something hitting the wall. The wind had picked up significantly as it had become darker. I looked at the back entrance as if someone would appear. Bri hadn’t said anyone was coming over. I deliberated on getting up to investigate.

  Another set of loud raps sounded through the house. I stood, went inside, and walked to the front door.

  “Who is it?” I asked.

  No one answered.

  I looked through the peephole to find someone’s back. A hand went through his shaggy brown hair before he turned back to face the door. Holy shit. What was he doing here? My gaze dropped down, taking in the awful way I looked. There was no way I could let him see me like this. But I wanted to see him so bad.

  Finally, I opened the door and found Luca ready to descend the steps. He faced the street and looked as if he were about to take off running. “What are you doing here?” I asked, unable to hide my enthusiasm.

  He jerked around, his eyes wide, and smiled.

  I melted. On the spot. He hadn't been gone long, but it felt like forever since I’d seen him. Before I could stop myself, my arms wrapped around his neck, and I pulled him close. His fingertips lightly touched my back, patting it. What was I doing? My grip dropped, and I backed away.

  “Well?”

  “Well what?” he asked, leaning against the rail of the porch.

  “What are you doing here? I didn’t think you’d be back until the end of the week.” I had pictured this moment countless times since he’d been gone. How it would be when he got back. I wondered if he would even show up here or text me to let me know he was back. Now here he was in front of me.

  “There was a lot at work I needed to get done, so we came back early. Were you busy? I can leave if—”

  “No!” I swallowed, forcing myself to calm down. He didn’t know that I’d been dying to see him. “I was reading. Do you want to come in?”

  He looked up at the sky as a gust of wind blew his hair around. “Yeah. It looks like it’s about to storm.”

  I walked inside and held the door open for him. “That’s right. Scared of storms. Hmm, looks like you came back right in time to handle that,” I teased.

  He stopped and stared at me. “We can’t go out in that.”

  I leaned in, taking my time to enjoy his smell. “It hasn’t started yet. But yes, we can go out in that.”

  He swallowed, his skin turning white.

  “So, you had so much work to do– What exactly would that be, since you’re a deckhand?”

  Heat flooded his face all the way to the hairline. “Different stuff. I do more than deckhand work. They’ve given me some marketing responsibilities since I’ve been with the company so long.”

  I crossed my arms and tapped one finger against my forearm. It didn’t sound legit, but I wasn’t going to push it. He could have returned for any number of reasons.

  “Well, did you at least have a good trip?”

  He shoved his hands deep into the pockets of his shorts. “Yeah. There’s nothing like a good climb. I’m always a little sore after, though.” He rubbed his arms, massaging the muscle.

  Thunder interrupted our conversation. I looked up at the ceiling, my eyes slowly coming back down as a grin spread over my face. “Sounds like it’s about time.”

  His lips pressed into a hard, thin line. “We don’t need to go out there.” Rain started slowly, pelting in a steady rhythm against the roof. Within seconds, the bottom dropped, and it became a deafening sound.

  “Let’s go.” I didn’t wait for him to answer. I spun around and focused on the glass back door. I stopped when I reached it. “I’m a little nervous myself. This would really suck if one of us got struck,” I said. My hand rested against the handle as I stared outside at the rain. Thunder rumbled across the sky, vibrating everything on the walls.

  “Fuck all that,” Luca said. His voice was farther back than it should have been.

  I glanced over my shoulder to find him cowering behind the wall, only visible from his eyes up. He was right behind me. Damn. He could move fast when he was scared.

  I crossed my arms and then tapped my foot against the porcelain tile. “We’re doing this. Bad weather can be relaxing if you let it be. There isn’t a reason to jump every time you see lightning and hear thunder.”

  “There is when it could come inside and kill you. A friend’s dad I knew growing up was leaning against the stove and got struck in the ass when it hit the stove. Blew him across the kitchen.”

  I frowned impatiently at him. Of course, what he said was funny as hell, but I had to hold it in. The thought of some man rocketing across the room from getting struck in the ass was almost too much.

  “Don’t be a baby. You’ve wrestled the fear of spiders. Now you can do this.”

  He approached slowly, keeping close to the wall. When he got in front of me, he bit his bottom lip. “If I would’ve known you were going to make me do this, I wouldn’t have come over here,” he murmured bleakly. His eyes seemed to darken in color the longer he stared at me.

  I refused to give in, no matter the persuasive, sexy power those eyes had over my lower half. I looked through the pane of glass. The storm suddenly seemed less dangerous than standing here this close to him. I looked down at my hand, and with a flick of my wrist, threw open the door. Chilly rain beat against my face as I raced across the deck and down the steps. It rolled through my hair, soaking it. I tilted my head back and closed my eyes.

  I opened my mouth and allowed drops to pool at the back of my throat. I swallowed, taking a breath. “Luca?”

  “I’m here.”
He scowled at me, and I scowled back. “If that was streak lightning you’d be out here by yourself though.” A loud bang erupted. He jerked, his knees nearly buckling. “I’m done.” His face was tight as he turned toward the steps.

  I wrapped my fingers around his arm.

  He stopped and gave me an almost-pleading stare.

  “You’re still scared.”

  “Well, yeah.”

  “Don’t you see? This is a part of nature. It’s really beautiful if you think about it.” I waved a hand as though removing the cloth that had been keeping him from seeing it. “Doesn’t it make you feel free? Like the rain is washing away whatever is bothering you?” I glanced at the ocean. The waves crashed violently against the shore. “That’s how I felt when you made me go into the ocean that night.” I turned back to him. “Free.”

  He sighed, dropping his arms at his sides. “I guess I can see it.” He shook his head slowly, rolling his eyes toward the gray sky before he met my gaze again. “I wouldn’t have come out here for anyone else. You better be glad I like you.”

  My eyes went wide. I knew he could see the confusion etched across my features.

  “I mean, you’re a cool girl to be friends with.”

  I nodded, looking away. My eyes wandered back to the ocean. Of course. Friends. Why would I ever think anything different? I wanted to laugh at myself for jumping to any conclusions from that statement. It was funnier than the man flying across the kitchen in a sad way.

  I had the sudden urge to run. My feet dug into the sand, and I pushed against it, launching myself away from him. The rain beat harder against my face to the point it almost hurt.

  “Leigh, wait!” I heard him yell.

  But I didn’t. I kept going. My side ached as my lungs screamed at me to stop. Breathing was becoming harder the longer I went. Why didn’t I do more cardio? I would get eaten if something were chasing me. But the pain made the embarrassment go away. It pushed the thoughts of him and me being together away.

  I swallowed. My tongue felt like sandpaper. Collapsing into the sand, I reached my fingers out and dug into the soaked earth. Heaving, I gasped for air. It was so hard to catch my breath. I rolled over on my back and looked up, watching the rain come down.

  “Why did you run away?” he asked, breathless as he came up beside me.

  I didn’t answer. I had no good reason for running away. Not one that he would understand. He would never comprehend how it felt. Hell, I didn’t even fully understand it. How could I think I might want to be more than friends with him? I hadn’t known him that long. Fuck. I didn’t even live here. I would be gone in a few weeks. Miles would be between us. It was pointless.

  “I needed to get some energy out,” I finally answered.

  He dropped down beside me and lay down on his back.

  “This is kinda cool. The rain looks amazing from this angle.”

  We stayed that way in silence until I started to shake. I sat up, my hair drenched and covered in sand. I looked down at him, finding him smiling up at me.

  “What?” I asked.

  “This was way more of adrenaline rush than climbing any mountain. And I have to say way more relaxing. I’m starting to see why people find it so soothing when it rains.”

  I shivered. “I’m really thrilled it helped, but do you think we can go in? I’m about to freeze out here now that it’s starting to get dark.”

  He propped up on his elbows. “Why didn’t you tell me? We could’ve gone in already.” After jumping up, he held out a hand for me to grasp.

  I took it, locking my jaw as I shifted up.

  My body hurt. Running wasn’t something I did every day, and the aches were sure to let me know that. Not to mention my skin was so cold, and I couldn’t stop shaking. I sneezed, swiping my nose with the back of my hand.

  Before I could move, Luca’s arm draped over my shoulders and pulled me into his body. I collapsed in the fold, feeling warmth that I craved. “You getting sick?”

  “My head has been feeling a little weird today, but I figured it was from not sleeping well the past few days,” I said as we walked back. The storm had stopped, leaving in its remnants mist that stuck to my skin like a second layer.

  “Why haven’t you been sleeping good? Missed me too much?”

  That was part of the reason. I couldn’t stop thinking about him. Replaying every scenario we’d had the past few days and trying to pick up on anything that had indicated he was falling for me like I was him. “I don’t know. Maybe it’s because I was getting homesick or something.”

  His body tensed, making his arm get tighter around me. “You thinking about leaving early?”

  I coughed, pulled away from his hold, and doubled over. I leaned back up, feeling a little lightheaded, and reached out for something that wasn’t there. Before I could fall, his arms hooked under me.

  “You’re burning up, Leigh. You shouldn’t have been out here, Tiny Dancer.” His arm went under my knees, then I was hoisted into the air and cradled against him.

  “I don’t like that nickname.” I closed my eyes, wanting to go to sleep. “It reminds me of how stupid I was.”

  He chuckled, sending a deep vibration through his chest.

  I snuggled against it, feeling safe enough to leave the world behind.

  “Nah. You should love it,” he murmured. “That was the first night we ran into each other.”

  I didn’t answer.

  “Leigh?”

  I closed my heavy lids, drifting toward sleep, loving my name on his lips.

  14

  Luca

  Her skin was on fire, but she couldn’t stop shaking. I felt horrible for letting her go out into the weather. She’d acted fine when I got here. Happy as hell, as a matter of fact. It didn’t matter, though. It didn’t stop the guilt from nagging at me that this was my fault.

  I kicked open the door, hearing a loud shriek from the living room. Bri peaked around the wall, waving a candlestick out to the side as if to threaten an intruder.

  “You scared the shit out of me,” she said, lowering her weapon as she took in the sight before her. She sprinted toward us, concern across her face. “What’s wrong? Leigh?” She touched her arm and looked up at me for answers.

  “We were outside, and she said she got lightheaded. Said she wasn’t feeling well.”

  Bri’s brow shot up. “Outside? In the rain?”

  I looked down at Leigh sound asleep. “Yeah. We, uh…” There was no point in trying to explain to her what we were doing out there. Mainly because it was none of her business that I was scared of bad weather and Leigh had forced me out there to face it. I didn’t let anyone know stuff like that. Only Leigh. “She needs to be cleaned off before I put her in the bed. We were lying in the sand…” The words trailed off, so low I wasn’t sure if she even heard them.

  “Bring her to the bathroom. I’ll wash her off with a cloth and help her change clothes. I would say you could do it, but I’m not sure if you two have gotten that far in your relationship.” She blinked down at Leigh like she expected her to start ranting, but when she didn’t, Bri’s gaze shifted back up to me.

  “We’re friends. That’s it. So, I don’t think she would want me to see her naked. She acts modest enough in a bikini.”

  She nodded, silently agreeing. “She’d be livid with me. But you have to admit, she looked hot in that bikini, didn’t she?”

  I didn’t answer. Somehow the question seemed like a trap. Like she was testing me to see how I’d respond, as if she were waiting to confirm a theory. “Can we just clean her? She needs to take some medicine.”

  Bri puckered her lips, and motioned for me to follow her.

  We went down the hall, and stopped as she turned into a room to the left and flipped a switch. Yellow light glowed against the carpet, lighting the dark hallway.

  “Sit her down on the floor. Go look in that mess she calls clothes on the floor of her room and bring me some underwear and a t-shirt.”

 
; Gently, I lowered Leigh to the tile. Her eyes fluttered open, and she reached for me and pulled at my shirt.

  “I’m not going anywhere,” I reassured her when panic transformed her delicate features. “Bri is going to help clean you up, so I can put you in the bed.”

  Leigh’s eyes darted over to her friend, then she slumped back against the tub.

  I stood, watching Bri run a damp cloth over her face, clearing it of the sand.

  She stopped and stared at me pointedly. “Clothes would be nice. These are soaking wet and covered in sand.”

  “Oh, yeah.” I backed out of the room, rolling my eyes at how stupid I was. At the end of the hallway, I went into the room where Leigh was staying. It was tidier than the first time I’d been there. The clothes were folded in the chair, and her other possessions were displayed on the dresser.

  “Don’t be trying to sneak any of her underwear in your pocket either. I’m going to make her do a count when she’s feeling better to see if you did!” Bri shouted.

  I grunted, wondering how a quiet girl like Leigh ever ended up with such a best friend. Guess the quiet ones always needed the loud-mouthed ones to take up for them when they couldn’t.

  I picked up a bottle of perfume and put it to my nose. It smelled different when she wore it. It was like the scent mixed with hers and made it smell ten times better. I put it back down as my eyes dropped to the chair holding the clothes. I hated doing this. I wouldn’t want anyone going through my underwear. It felt like I was invading her privacy.

  I snatched a pair off the top, not bothering to look too closely at them, and selected a Led Zeppelin shirt from a pile that looked like sleep clothes. At least the girl had great taste in music. I stuffed it under my arm, not wanting to take too long. There was no way I was giving Bri any reason to think I was in here doing something she would assume I was doing.

  Rounding the corner, I found Bri brushing Leigh’s hair. Sand littered the floor around them. Bri’s back was to me, shielding Leigh’s face.