Fearlessly Yours

by R. S. Broadhead

  “Bri… I feel awful,” Leigh moaned.

  “That’s because you’ve got a fever, sweetie. Most people feel like shit when their temperature is up. But don’t worry I’ll take care of you.”

  “I want him. But I can’t. That would mean I’m letting him get too close,” Leigh babbled.

  I stepped back, not wanting her to know I was there in case Bri moved.

  “After what Russ did to me, I don’t know if I can ever let myself open up like that again.”

  Silence fell. After a few seconds, I peeked around the corner.

  Bri rocked back on her heels; she didn’t seem to see me. “He’s not Russ. Russ was a dick. I could tell that the moment I met him.” She tossed the damp cloth down in the middle of the sand. “Always had this whole vibe of him thinking he was better than everyone else. Like we were less than him.”

  I had never laid eyes on the guy in person, but from the way she talked, I already knew I would hate him. Guys like that weren’t any good. He’d proven that by what he’d done to Leigh.

  “I’m fooling myself. There won’t ever be anything between us. We’re friends. That’s it,” Leigh said, so quiet I could barely hear.

  I wasn’t sure how that made me feel. I had wrestled with telling myself that the entire time I was away. Now here I was, standing in her hallway, eavesdropping.

  “Luca?”

  The sound of my name startled me. I dropped the clothes, practically jumping out of my skin. I bent low and snatched the items from the floor.

  Bri’s eyes trained on me as I entered the bathroom. I looked past her to see Leigh still in her damp clothes, leaned back against the tub, asleep. “Did you have any trouble finding them? You were gone long enough.”

  “I, uh…” I didn’t know what to say. Seeing Leigh that way shook me to my core. I didn’t do sick people. It brought back too many unwanted memories.

  Bri ignored my lack of forming words. “Can you help me get her to the bed after I help her change? She needs to get some rest.”

  I put my hands up as if barricading myself from the situation in front of me. “I can’t. I need to go.”

  “Luca! I can’t do this by myself. This girl is like a brick house. You’ve seen the ass she’s got.”

  I backed out into the hallway as Bri’s brows slowly inched in. Her face contorted the angrier she got. I thought she was going to blow a gasket when the redness from her skin seeped into her hairline.

  “If you don’t get back over here, I’ll kick your ass. I don’t care if you’re friends with her or not. She can just be pissed off at me for it.”

  “I can’t.” I spun around and darted for the door.

  “Luca?” Leigh’s voice sounded faint.

  I stopped dead in my tracks. “Where did he go?”

  “Don’t worry about that. I got you. He had to run home for something. Is there anything I can get you?” Bri asked.

  “Soup. Vegetable soup. You remember when we were little, and my mom used to cook me that when I was sick?”

  “Yeah. But I’m not sure if I have any of the ingredients. Hell, I don’t even think there’s anything here but liquor.”

  Something bumped the wall. If I didn’t leave now, I would have to face them both. That was something I didn’t want to do. After twisting the knob, I bolted through the front door and slammed it shut behind me. My chest heaved. I shoved my hands into my pockets to keep from shaking. Over the past several years, I had made it a point to stay far, far away from anyone sick. Being around them made it feel like the walls were closing in around me. The thought that they might not battle whatever was wrong with them was something I couldn’t stand to think about. It was all because she’d never bounced back. She’d never made a recovery. Only gotten worse with each passing day. No one should have to deal with that.

  It didn’t matter if it was a simple head cold or not. It was all the same to me. I stared out into the night, wanting to run away, but no matter what I tried, my feet stayed planted on the Welcome rug. I tilted my head back and closed my eyes. She would be fine. Her best friend was in there caring for her. She didn’t need me getting in the way.

  Before I realized it, I was in my truck driving away. The process of getting to this point was a blur. Light rain dotted the windshield. I turned on the windshield wipers and stopped at a red light. I just needed to get home. Then I could do something to take my mind off her.

  The faint glow of a sign made the water on the glass appear green. I studied the Publix to my right. A horn blast from behind jarred my hesitation. I twisted the wheel and gassed the engine so hard the tires spun out as I whipped into the parking lot. What was I doing? This was the exact opposite of my original intention. I swear, I am beginning to lose my shit.

  I screeched into a parking spot near the entrance and grabbed my phone. Vegetable soup. Vegetable soup. It couldn’t be that hard to make. Of course, I had never done it before, but I was a pretty decent cook.

  I found a recipe and jumped out of my truck. Tucking my phone in my pocket, I pulled a buggy out and power-walked through the aisles, collecting the items on the list. Once I double-checked that I had gotten everything, I maneuvered through the checkout line and paid for the items.

  Driving back to Bri’s house was hard. So many times, I wanted to turn the truck around and go home. But I didn’t. I kept going. Soon, I was sitting in front of the house. It wasn’t any different than the first time I’d arrived tonight, so why did it scare me so bad right then?

  I gritted my teeth and grabbed the bags from the passenger side seat. It was now or never. If I didn’t go back into that house, I could kiss my friendship with Leigh good-bye. Despite not knowing her long, I already valued our time together. What we were doing was going to benefit her when she left. It would give her the confidence she needed to not pick assholes like her ex.

  I walked to the front door, hesitating for a moment before knocking. Three gentle knocks were all it took. Within minutes, Bri was standing in front of me.

  “What are you doing back?” she asked through clenched teeth.

  I held up the bags.

  She cocked her head.

  “I’m here to make vegetable soup. Or as least attempt to.”

  She blinked as if trying to comprehend what I was saying. I knew the moment it clicked because a broad smile graced her face. “I’m glad you came back. This will mean the world to her.” She moved to the side and let me in. “I’m sure she doesn’t want me to mention this, but she wouldn’t stop asking where you were.”

  “I came to my senses in the truck. I really don’t handle being around sick people too well.”

  Bri nodded but didn’t push my reasoning any further. “Well, you should have everything you need in the kitchen, I guess anyway. I don’t really cook that much, so if you don’t see it, you probably shouldn’t ask.”

  “You sound a lot like Finn. He doesn’t even know how to boil water.”

  She laughed. “Yep. Definitely me.”

  “I’ll make it work. Hopefully, it will be edible for her.” I walked to the kitchen, and sat the bags on the counter. Cutting board. Pot. Those were some of the things I needed. I shuffled through the cabinets and pulled out everything the recipe called for. Bri was right. She had everything, but none of it looked used. Some things even still had the stickers on them. I chopped the vegetables up and tossed them into the boiler. Soon the house smelled amazing.

  “Damn. If it tastes as good as it smells, I think she’ll love it,” Bri said, coming into the kitchen.

  I dipped a spoon into the soup and gave it to her. “Here. Taste it before she does. If it’s bad, I’m going to say you made it.”

  “Wow. Thanks for that.” She took the spoon and blew on it a few times before putting it in her mouth.

  I held my breath, waiting to hear the verdict. Her hand shot to her mouth, fanning rapidly. “Still hot.” Her eyes watered, making her look up toward the ceiling. “If my taste buds still work after all that,
I’m going to say it’s delicious.”

  The tension released from my body. “Good.” I opened the cabinet and snatched a bowl from the stack. Then I scooped out a small portion and twisted around before shoving it toward Bri’s hands. “Take it to her.”

  She looked to the bowl then back up to me. “Um, no. You take it.” Before I could protest, she trotted back into the living room.

  I sighed and stepped out into the dark hallway. Her bedroom was only a few feet away, but it appeared looming as if it stretched for eternity. Every step I took felt like I was sealing my doom.

  I stood on the outside of the door and barely knocked. Maybe she was asleep. The last thing I wanted to do was wake her. Yeah, it was probably a good idea for me to come back later. I turned, prepared to leave, but her voice stopped me.

  “Yeah,” she said.

  The door seemed heavier than I remembered, but I pushed it open to find her in a somewhat seated position in the bed. “I made you vegetable soup.” I tried to keep my voice upbeat, but my stomach was hollow.

  “I thought you left.”

  “I did. But I went to the store to get the stuff for this. I know it won’t be like your mom’s, but maybe it will be okay.”

  She smiled, looking at the container. “I’m sure it’s perfect.” Her hands rose to take the bowl, which I swiftly put in her grasp. I backed away, putting distance between us.

  “You can sit down. If you’re going to get this, I’m sure you’re already infected.”

  I bit my lip, fighting the panic. This was pushing it for me. “I don’t know…” I trailed off, staring at the floor. She was so pale. I hated it.

  “I forgot. Sick people.” The spoon clinked against the ceramic side as she stirred the contents, steam snaking its way up. “It’s really hot. Can you blow on it for me?”

  I nodded, coming closer to take it from her. Before I could grab it, she pulled me down beside her. My back went stiff. “What are you doing?”

  “I’ll be fine.” She winked at me, shoving a spoonful of the soup in her mouth. “Can I ask why this scares you so bad? I think you did better with the storm and the spider.”

  I patted the covers, running my finger along the fabric until it reached the end. “My mom was in bed a long time.”

  “She was sick?”

  “She had a stroke that made her bedridden. It only got worse throughout the years. I prayed everyday that she would come back to us.” I looked up at Leigh’s face. “She never did. I usually don’t tell people that,” I said, swiping a tear away with the back of my hand.

  She put the container down on the nightstand beside her and motioned for me to come closer. Despite everything in me wanting to get up, I leaned forward. Her arms wrapped around my shoulders as my head rested on her chest. Tears streamed down my face, dampening the sheet between us.

  “I’m sorry,” she whispered.

  For the first time since my mother had passed, the ache in my heart didn’t hurt as much. Her fingers knitted through my hair, taking tiny strands, and twisting them around. My mind felt fuzzy. A comfort I’d never known before draped over my body. In her arms, nothing else mattered.

  Her hand stopped moving as her breathing came out in slow rhythmic patterns. I stood, seeing her eyes closed. Gently, I moved the pillow so she could lie flat and pulled the covers up to her chin. She shifted, mumbling something too low for me to hear.

  I paused there, staring at her for a good minute, wondering why it took so long for me to find this girl. But somewhere in the back of my mind, I also wondered how long it would take me to forget her when she left.

  15

  Leigh

  For the next several days, Luca didn’t leave my side other than to go to work. He refused to sleep on the bed with me, and opted to take a pallet made of blankets on the floor. My medicine schedule stayed on track along with him checking my fever until it broke. It meant a lot, considering that he was uncomfortable during the entire process of me regaining my health. Although he never said anything about it, his body language was clear. Sometimes I would have to fight my laughter at how rigid he became handing me the tiny cup of cough-suppressant liquid.

  Nonetheless, he managed to break through one of my fears without knowing it. He allowed me to become vulnerable. At first, I hated it. I wanted him there, but at the same time I wanted to push him away.

  But how could I push away a man that tried to recreate my mother’s vegetable soup? It wasn’t nearly as good as hers, but coming from him, I would take it over anyone else’s any day of the week. And to find out about his mother… It explained so much about how guarded he was. No wonder he didn’t do relationships. It made me value what we had even more.

  I stepped out of the shower, grabbed a towel, and ran it across my face. Beads of water ran down my back and hit the floor. Someone knocked on the door so hard it rattled at the hinges. I jumped and toppled over before hitting the wastebasket. “Who is it?” Irritation grated against my nerves. Bri had another bathroom. She didn’t need to beat the door down to get in here.

  “You okay?” I jumped at the sound of Luca’s voice. I wasn’t expecting him here for at least another hour. Instantly, I wrapped the towel around my body like he had developed the sense of seeing through walls.

  “Fine. You just scared the hell out of me.” I sighed, trying to steady my shaking voice. My heart still beat like an erratic drum against my chest.

  “Good. I thought tonight would be a good time to go out. You’ve been cooped up, so fun is definitely needed.”

  “Oh, is that what the doctor ordered?” I reached in the drawer and pulled out the brush.

  “It’s what I ordered. And if you disagree, well, it’s back to bed for you.”

  Lying in that bed was the last thing I wanted. I was all about getting rest, but so many days in a row were too much. I was stir-crazy, and going anywhere sounded amazing.

  “Be out in a minute.”

  “Okay.”

  I quickly dressed and put on a little makeup before I dried my hair. I studied the reflection. Much better. He had seen me at my worst. If I hadn’t scared him off the past few days with that matted greasy hair and skin I was rocking, I didn’t think anything would.

  I opened the door, walked to the living room, and found him sitting on the couch.

  “Ready?” He put down the magazine he was looking at. People. Somehow that didn’t seem like his normal reading material. “I got somewhere fun in mind. I think you’re going to enjoy it.” He smiled but quickly drew a hand over his face, obviously trying to hide it. He seemed to be getting way too much joy from whatever he was talking about.

  I stopped, putting a hand on my hip. “Where are we going?”

  His head tilted as he came closer. “It’s a surprise.” He held my hands in his. “What? You don’t trust me?”

  “Not when you look like that.”

  He laughed and turned, pulling me along behind him. He didn’t drop my hand until we reached his truck. I reached for the handle, but he slapped my hand away. “A girl isn’t ever supposed to open her own door when a man is around.” His hand curled under the latch and guided the door open.

  “Yes, sir.” I climbed in, giving him a small smile as he closed it behind me.

  He walked around to the driver’s side and slid in.

  A moment later, the truck roared to life, and we were on our way to wherever he had in mind. I stared out the window, unable to keep the smile off my face. That was, until I saw the sign as we slowed and his blinker flipped on.

  Karaoke.

  The parking lot was full of cars, most not even in a parking place. The bass coming from the building even overpowered our music in the truck. I sank low in my seat, wracking my brain on why he would be bringing me here. Think. Think. The list. What was on it that he would be making me do?

  Public speaking.

  Being in front of a crowd.

  My stomach knotted. There was no way he was thinking this would help me over
come that.

  We stopped, and he turned the truck off. “Ready?”

  “Ready for what exactly?”

  He laughed and opened his door. “Hurry. You’ll be late.” I opened my mouth but didn’t get a chance to ask what I was going to be late for. A second later, he was at my door. “No questions. Just walk.”

  We wove through the cars and went into the dimly lit entrance. People crowded the doors, not bothering to move to let us pass. Luca shoved between, creating a hole for me to follow him. He stopped at the opening of the main room.

  “What?” I asked.

  “You’re singing tonight.”

  “You mean I have to get in front of all these people and…” I choked, the last word lodging itself uncomfortably in my throat. I looked across the room, not stopping too long on one specific person.

  The room was full. Each round table was crowded with people chatting and laughing. Smoke curled through the air, catching blue and red strobe-lights that danced across the floor in the beat of the music. The girl on the stage danced, twirling around while her arm waved over her head. Her voice was scratchy and hurt my ears.

  But she had something I didn’t. Confidence. Karaoke wasn’t about sounding great. It was about commanding the audience. And this girl had it. More than anything I wanted it. Jealousy ate away at my insides as the crowd screamed out, singing with her. But I would never have it. I was the face people met and in the next second forgot. Trust me. I knew. It had happened several times before.

  My stomach sank as I shifted my feet back. I hit something, stopping my nonchalant attempt at ducking the hell out of there. My arm tensed. For a moment I considered elbowing whoever was behind me. Maybe I could outrun Luca before he caught me. Maybe. I glanced behind me and found him staring at me with a knowing frown.

  “Don’t even think about it,” he said.

  I shrugged my shoulders. “No idea what you’re talking about,” I said. It took everything I had to plaster a fake smile across my face.

  “You’re doing this. You want confidence, don’t you?”