Memories of Us

by Fabiola Francisco

  Cleaning up the mess and wiping the teriyaki smell from the tile, I think of how I went for someone who is the total opposite of Hunter. It made sense at the moment. When Justin walked up to me six months ago with his perfectly combed blond hair and shining blue eyes, I was flattered. I figured after two and a half years of moving on, I owed it to myself to really move on. Tears build in my eyes again and I swipe my hand across my cheeks.

  Except my feet are moving forward, but my heart is anchored to the person I first gave my soul to.

  IT’S BEEN A WEEK since I shared the video and people are still talking about it. I stopped searching for it, but every so often it will pop up on my feed. The apology video wasn’t nearly as popular, but I hope with the amount of views it has, Mackenzie came across it. If she even stopped to view it.

  I turn my body on my bed and with the early-morning sun peeking into my room, check my phone. Fucking seven in the morning. I groan and stand. Weekends are the hardest. When I don’t have work keeping my mind busy I have an infinite amount of time drowning in guilt and self-hate.

  I probably deserve to be alone more than I care to admit. I’m paying for it each day I wake up, cold sheets next to me.

  If I could see her one more time and tell her in person everything I’ve held in, I would be happy. If, after that, she decides she’s really done with us, then I’ll let her go. I’ll live the rest of my life without her and write songs. I just need that one chance. I need to see her, talk to her, touch her again. Apologize for all of it and prove to her I am the only person for her.

  I put on running shorts and sneakers and head out of my apartment. The warm air hits me as soon as I step outside and start to run. The burn of my lungs is welcomed as I chase the past at full-speed down the cement road.

  How much longer can I live like this? Dex would say it’s time I let her go and grab some new woman. His remedy for everything is fucking, drinking, and singing. From experience, fucking a stranger isn’t going stop me from loving Mackenzie.

  She set roots in my heart a long time ago and never left.

  I push my body harder and faster, barely able to gasp air as I focus on that instead of Mackenzie. The beers I drank yesterday threatening to rise.

  I lift the bottom of my shirt to wipe the sweat off my face as I return to my apartment. As I’m jogging up the stairs, my phone dings with a message.

  Dex: come to brunch

  Hunter: since when do you do brunch

  Dex: I’m goin with reese… we’ll be at Bonfire

  Hunter: not sure man… just got home from a run

  Dex: u gotta get outta the house.. if u don’t show I’ll pick ur ass up

  I sigh and respond with an ok before jumping in the shower. It will probably be better than staring at walls and thinking of what could’ve been.

  I gotta give it to Dex, brunch was a good idea. I needed to get out and see people and stop driving myself crazy. Maybe it’s time I accept that Mackenzie and I are over and just let her go. She can go and be happy with whomever she wants.

  I turn on the television and fall on the couch, scrolling through the channels until I stop at the scene of three guys with a tiger in the bathroom. I chuckle and keep watching, relaxing into the cushions with one leg propped on the small coffee table.

  The ringing of my phone interrupts my chuckles. I look at the unfamiliar number with an area code for back home and answer.

  “Hello?” I furrow my brows.

  “Hi, Hunter. It’s Mr. Hill.”

  My stomach drops. “Hi, sir.”

  “I’m going to go straight to the point, son. I don’t know what happened between you and Mackenzie, and I sure as hell am not gonna get in the middle of it, but she’s gone and left us and hasn’t been back in three years. She’s got some new friend, and frankly, I don’t like the guy.

  “She hasn’t called her Momma in an entire week and won’t pick up our calls. You’re the only one who can help.”

  “Sorry to interrupt, Mr. Hill, but I don’t know how I can help. I’ve spent three years trying to get to her and she doesn’t want to hear from me.”

  “Hunter, I’ve always liked you, but you’re acting like a fool. She’s hurt. Her heart was broken by her first love. That lingers, and we both know Mackenzie is as stubborn as that mule your pops has on his ranch.” I chuckle because he’s right. “But, something about her has been off since she met this guy, and she’s not acting like our little girl. Maybe if you go see her, talk to her, you can bring Mackenzie home.”

  I close my eyes and listen. A part of me is happy that this guy she’s with isn’t long-term, another part of me has no idea how she’d listen to me.

  “Has Tiffany heard from her?”

  “None of us have. A week doesn’t seem like a long time to most folk, but we’re tight-knit, and Mackenzie never misses a call with her mom.”

  “I’ll see what I can do,” I sigh and run my hand through my beard.

  “You’re a good man, Hunter. We’re all proud of you down here.”

  “Thanks, sir. I do have one question, where the hell is Mackenzie?” I’m coming for her.

  “She’s in Los Angeles. I’ll give you her address.” Los Angeles? What the hell took her that far away?

  I jot down the address and stare at the scrap of paper. I’m fucking going after her. Breathing heavily, I hang up with Mr. Hill and stick the piece of paper in my wallet.

  Surprised Mr. Hill called me so casually to ask me to go to Mackenzie, I grab my phone and call Cash and explain the situation, hoping it’s okay to take a few days off. I could hug him when he tells me to go get the girl and not to worry about work. I know we’re ahead of schedule and they have all my notes for the current song we’re working on. Besides, I can email him new stuff.

  I let the higher ups know and book the first flight out of Nashville for tomorrow morning. I may be crazy to just show up at her place, many states away, after three years, but I’m going with my gut feeling. If her dad doesn’t like this guy, something must be off. Mr. Hill has always been welcoming of everyone. And while I should’ve asked him why he wanted me to go instead of them going to see her, I was too caught up in the feeling of knowing where she was. No way I’m going to strip myself of this opportunity.

  Packing the essentials, I grab my weathered notebook and open it before sticking it in my bag. New page, new lines.

  But I’m begging you please,

  Come back to me

  I’ll see her soon enough.

  I barely stretch my tired body as I make my way to the car rental pick-up. The long flight did little for my anxious mind, and I was relieved when we landed. I have no idea what I’m going to tell her when I see her. You’d think three years of wishing for this moment would have me better prepared. All I can think about is Cash’s advice, be patient with her.

  After getting the car, I plug her address into my phone’s navigation and begin driving. I don’t even look around as I focus on the road, determined to get to her as soon as possible. I slam on my breaks as I hit a wall of cars and exhale. Fucking traffic. I’d always heard about LA traffic but never thought it’d be like this, especially on a Sunday.

  I look around, finally seeing palm trees and buildings. I’d never be able to live in a place like this. I roll slowly through the highway, hoping this traffic eases soon. Cars next to me seem as annoyed as I am with the delay, and I only hope I catch Mackenzie while she’s home.

  I finally pass an accident and realize that’s the cause for the traffic. Relieved, I speed up, leaving the mess of a scene behind me and racing to my destination.

  An hour later, I look around the neighborhood and double check the address. I never expected Mackenzie to want to live in a place like this, in a city like this, and I can’t help but think what made her choose it. The girl I knew lived for dirt roads, riverbanks, and horses. This is a far cry from that. How she could adjust to this kind of life?

  This isn’t the fanciest area, but I can imagine r
ent here is ridiculous. I wonder if she’s teaching like she always dreamed or settled for something different. I have so many questions I no longer have a right to get answers to.

  I stop my car in the street, parking and looking up at the weathered building. The chipped paint and unkept surroundings makes me wish that this neighborhood isn’t as bad as it seems. I take a deep breath and dry my palms on the front of my jeans before stepping out of the car.

  I shield my eyes from the bright sun. My heart slams in my chest now that I’m so close to her but knowing there’s a distance greater than physicality separating us.

  I look at the address Mr. Hill gave me. 2C. I jog up the stairs, taking two at a time and stop in front of the yellow door.

  I hear yelling inside the door. A man’s shout booms and I hear a voice I’ll never forget yell back at him. What the fuck?

  “I already told you!” she yells and my nerves shoot. I should knock instead of listening, but I remember what her dad said. Something about this guy rubbing him the wrong way.

  “You’re going to go,” the guy demands. That must be her douche of a boyfriend. What kinda man yells at the woman he’s with like that? Or any woman for that matter.

  “No! Don’t you dare touch me.” Her anger rises, and her words snap me. I bang on the door, desperate to get to her.

  “Don’t open that.”

  The hell she won’t open. If she doesn’t, I’ll break the door down. No way she’s staying in there with him while he’s treating her as if she were a piece of garbage.

  “I said don’t open it. Macknezie…”

  “I said not to touch me.” Her voice is a low warning and I hit the door harder this time.

  It swings open and surprised blue eyes and a red face stare at me. A small gasp leaves her lips, and I see the markings of old tears on her face.

  “Hunter.” It’s a whisper that shoots straight to my heart.

  “Who the fuck—” I see the body that matches the voice that was screaming at her a few minutes ago. “For fuck’s sake.” He rolls his eyes and I have to wonder what the hell she sees in a khaki wearing city boy. I get why her father was worried.

  “Mackenzie,” I acknowledge her.

  “What are you doing here?” She’s vulnerable as she stares at me as if I were a ghost.

  “I came to get you, take you home.”

  She crosses her arms and glares. “I am home.”

  “You know what I mean.” I stay rooted, unable to get to her, measuring my distance until she’s okay with me being here.

  “How the hell did you even find me. I swear, if Tiffany told you, I’m going to kill her,” her crossed arms tighten even more across her chest.

  “No, you have her well-trained. Three years of silence of your whereabouts. Probably a good thing I arrived when I did, from what I was hearing.” I stare at the man standing behind her.

  “Cute, cowboy, but our relationship is none of your business.” He puts a possessive hand on her shoulder, which she shakes off.

  I ignore him, keeping my eyes trained on Mackenzie. She looks different—her brown hair a little lighter and her face tired. The shine she used to carry in her blue eyes has dimmed instead of shining brighter in the city where the stars live and reality mixes with fantasy.

  “Mackenzie, close the door. We have things to finish discussing.”

  She turns to look at him. I refuse to call him her boyfriend. “We don’t. I told you what I had to, now leave.” I smirk. “You, too.” She looks at me. “Both of you, get out. Now.”

  “But—”

  “No, Justin. I’m not going to say it again, get out of my home. It’s never been good enough for you anyway.” She cocks her head to the side, and I can’t help but wonder about their relationship.

  I curl my fists by my side and stare at him, daring him to defy her wishes.

  “Fuck this,” he mumbles. “I leave when he does.” He points at me.

  “Hunter, I need you to go.” Her nostrils flare.

  “I’ll be back,” I promise and wait for Justin to leave before I turn around. She needs time and I’m not about to do everything I need to in front of this guy.

  “Don’t bother,” she calls out.

  I turn around and look at her. “You’ve never been a bother, but don’t think I’m walking away so easily. I’m coming back for you, Kenzie, and I’ll be damned if you ignore me. I’ve got no problem camping out in front of your door.” I remind her of the time we got into a fight and I stayed outside of her house until she’d talk to me. My parents were pissed I’d stayed out all night, but she eventually came out and we worked through it.

  “Don’t you dare get close to her,” Justin warns.

  “Or what? You think you have a right to tell me what to do. She can make up her mind for herself. Or are you scared she’ll remember she loves me and not you,” I smirk.

  “You son of a bitch.” He stalks toward me and I stand, arms crossed, waiting for him to do something. Pretty boy has nothing on me.

  “Are you gonna hit me?” I taunt. He looks back up at Kenzie’s apartment. Her eyes are in our direction, but her mind is far away.

  Justin gets close to me, toe to toe, and snarls. “She’s mine. I won’t let some poor country boy think he can offer her what I can. I’ve got the money and means to keep her happy.”

  “That’s where you’re wrong. If you knew her at all, you’d know she doesn’t care about money. Mackenzie appreciates other things in life.”

  “That’s not what she’ll be saying when I get her to move in with me and she realizes how good she can have it. She’ll never miss that hole of a town ever again.” His voice is low enough that she can’t hear him, but his words ring loud in my ears.

  My eyes snap up to hers. Live with him? This relationship is new. There’s no way she could be considering that.

  Mackenzie shakes her head and slams the door, leaving me alone with this guy.

  “Watch it,” I warn him.

  “Or what? You’re going to kick my ass with those ugly boots.” He spits, barely missing my shoes and I want to fucking kill him. I won’t let him provoke me though. I know he wants me to hit him, so he can run and cry to Mackenzie. Won’t work with me. Instead, I turn and walk away. As soon as I find a hotel, I’ll be back to talk to her. Alone.

  I knock on her door a few hours after I left, gentler this time. I spent the morning finding a hotel within a decent distance from here that wouldn’t max out my credit card. I couldn’t get the look she gave me when she first opened the door out of my mind. Surprised confusion mixed with a hint of disbelief and stirred with hints of the past.

  I hear shuffling around, but she doesn’t open. I tap my knuckles against the wood again. Nothing.

  “Mackenzie, I hear you movin’ about. Open up.”

  “Go back to Nashville, Hunter.”

  “No. I promised your father I’d talk some sense into you.” I lean against the ledge of the wall framing the door and wait. I hear mumbling and chuckle. She’s still as stubborn as she is beautiful. Even upset this morning, she was stunning. The thrill of seeing her in the flesh clouds the guilt I’ve held on to.

  I knock again. “Kenzie, come on. Do I need to break in?”

  “You wouldn’t,” she dares me.

  “You know I will.” I rattle the knob a bit. “In all seriousness, Kenzie, your dad is worried about you. Your mom and sister are, too.”

  “So that’s the only reason you came?” I hear the hesitation in her voice. I hate she thinks that, but after shutting me out for years it almost sounds like she’s been waiting on this day.

  I breathe loudly. “Can you open so we can talk face to face? Please.” I can’t not see her. Not after coming all this way. Not after finding her. I don’t care that my voice cracks.

  “Hunter,” she whispers through the wooden barrier.

  “Babe, I need to see you,” I plead.

  “Don’t call me that,” she snaps. “I’m not your babe. I’m not
hing to you. An old girlfriend you once had.” Her words shoot poison into my heart.

  “You’re more than that and you know it. I’ve spent years trying to find you. I’m not leaving without a chance to talk.”

  “Go home.”

  “You’re my home!” Frustration laces my words and settles in my heart. This woman is the only home I’ve ever wanted, and now she’s here and refuses to look at me. “You’re my only home and without you all I’ve had is a place to sleep and pass the days.” I blink back stubborn tears.

  I hear a click and the door opens. I stare into blue eyes that shimmer with confusion and hurt. I want to reach for her, hug her, pull her in and hold her for the rest of my life. But I know my limits.

  “Hey,” I smile.

  “Why are you here?” Her voice is soft, resigned to our situation.

  “Your dad called me. He really is worried. Something about you not calling in a week and ignoring their calls. He said he had a bad feeling about your friend.” It still hurts to think of her with someone else. It hurts more that she would pick a prick.

  “There’s nothing to worry about.” I take her in, now that I have time, and notice the bags under her eyes and the quick rise and fall of her chest. She’s different.

  “It sounded like there was earlier when I came.”

  She rolls her eyes. “We had a fight, that’s all.”

  “Mackenzie, don’t bullshit me. Before you were my love, you were my best friend. I can read you.” She crosses her arms and pins me with her stare.

  “Can I come in?” I dare ask.

  “We can talk here.”

  I have so many things to say. So many apologies and I’m blank. All I can think about is holding her again.

  “I’m sorry. You never gave me a chance to apologize.” She scoffs at my words. I scratch my forehead, anxious.