Memories of Us

by Fabiola Francisco

  My lips quirk as I take my time removing my boots and socks, rolling my jeans just like she did. Before I stand, she’s already dipping a foot into the water.

  “Holy…” She tenses, causing me to chuckle. “It’s freezing.” She looks back at me.

  I stand and walk toward her. “You’re just being a chicken.” I walk into the river, the water slicing my skin, but I keep my smile, so she won’t notice. “Come on,” I tease her.

  She places the same foot in the water, tensing her body again, but keeping it in there this time. I walk up to her and hug her, pulling her a bit so she walks into the river with the other foot.

  “Hunter,” she calls out. “Let me get used to it before you pull me into the water.”

  “It’s hot out. The cold feels nice.” We stand in ankle deep water, allowing our bodies to get accustomed to the change in temperature.

  “Not too bad, huh?” I ask after a few minutes.

  “No.” Mackenzie moves around me and goes a little deeper, pausing when the water hits her calves. I watch her from my spot, giving her time to observe the space. I look at the water, watching the ripples the water striders create as they glide on the surface. The sun tries to peek through the shade of the trees.

  She turns around with a wide grin. “This is exactly what I needed. Thank you.” She makes her way up to me.

  “You’re welcome.” I reach for her when she’s close enough, just wanting to hold her.

  Mackenzie looks up at me before inching up and kissing me. Her boldness excites me, and I happily return the kiss. I part her lips with my tongue and mold our lips together as I taste her. Her hands tug the back of my hair, causing my hat to fall into the water. When I pull away to grab it and throw it to the riverbed, she groans at our parting.

  Not giving a shit if my hat gets dirty with sand and dirt, I return to her lips, giving her exactly what she wants.

  We clash together, breathing life back into each other, teasing each other with our tongues. When her tongue brushes against mine I almost explode. I grab her hips, lifting her. Her legs lock around me immediately, and I hold her there. My hardness is pressed against her center, she moans when she feels me there.

  A fire burns inside me from the years I missed feeling her like this and I intensify the kiss. I grip her ass, pulling her deeper to me, adding pressure to the bulge in my pants. She moans again, our breathing labored. When it becomes too much, I slow down, giving her soft kisses before our lips part.

  “Damn.” I drop my head to her chest, her heart stammering in her chest.

  “I know.”

  Her nipples are hard, piercing through her top. I’m tempted to lower her top and taste her skin.

  “Fuck, Kenzie. I want you so bad. It’s been so long since I’ve felt your soft skin, the feel of your warmth wrapped around me.” I press her against me and a soft cry escapes her mouth.

  “It has been,” she agrees.

  “I’m gonna be walkin’ ‘round with an embarrassing erection for a while.”

  “I want this, too.” She moves her hips and I groan.

  “Baby,” my words drift away from me with the pain and pleasure of having her like this and not doing anything about it. “First, I want to take you out again. I wanna show you Nashville. Prove my feelings to you. Then, I’m going to make love to you, nice and slow. Worship your body ’til it reaches your soul.”

  Her chest rises and falls rapidly, her taut nipples taunting me. “But fuck if I don’t want to pull your top down and tease your breasts.”

  “Oh God…” she sighs and leans her head back. An invitation I’m trying hard to refuse. I want to do it right. I want to love her the way she deserves, not a quick fuck outside. We’ll have time for that later on.

  I drop a quick kiss on her exposed neck and tap her behind. “Come on. We’ll have plenty of time for that soon,” I promise.

  “I think I have the woman’s equivalent of a hard-on,” she laughs as her feet hit the water again.

  “Trust me, I’m hard.” I move my hand down her arm and into her hand, lacing our fingers. “But I meant what I said. First, we make things right, then we make love.” I squeeze her hand and hope my guy down there decides to cool it, so I can walk out of the water and climb on Addie.

  “You may not think so, Hunter, but I do love you. I could never hate you like I said that night. Those were angry words.”

  I place my hands around her face. “We say things we don’t mean when we’re hurt and mad. I love you, too. You know that.”

  She smiles, a slow tear slipping from her eyes. I wipe it away with my thumb. “You ready to head back? I want to take you to dinner tonight, and I want to make sure you have time to spend with your parents and get ready.”

  “Yeah.” We walk out of the river and I pick up my hat from the ground, shaking off the dirt. She has no idea what it does to me to hear her say she loves me. The desperation I felt for so long is tolerable when I have her in my arms again. I’d be lost if her dad never would’ve called me.

  We ride back at a slower pace, and I tell her about all the places I want to take her to when we’re in Nashville.

  I STARE OUT THE window as Hunter navigates the streets of Nashville. The sun hasn’t set yet, so my first look at the city is lit under the summer sky. You’d think we would have visited the city before deciding we wanted to move here, but Hunter’s dream would be achieved here. The city didn’t matter to us as long as we were together and surrounded by country music. Taking in the shops and restaurants he drives us by, I know this would have been a much better choice for me than Los Angeles. If only things had worked out differently.

  But things are different now. We may not be where we thought we would’ve been three years ago, but there’s hope in me that we could get there.

  Hunter has made sure to be present in my life, whether I was away packing up and getting ready for the move, or the last two days back in Springville. He’s been there, pushing me, taking me out, reminding me of everything I love.

  I try not to think about the miscarriage often, but I still do. After I lost that baby, I was so angry at myself, at Hunter, at the world. Why would that happen? Why would I have to live through that? I felt stupid for being so angry over losing something that was barely mine. I can’t explain it, but as soon as I knew I was pregnant, my views changed. It was so short-lived though, that I couldn’t celebrate with Hunter. We did the opposite.

  As if sensing my emotions, Hunter’s hand finds mine. I exhale audibly. “Are you okay?”

  I nod. “Taking it all in.”

  “We’re going to pass by Music Row.” Hunter’s smile is bright.

  I’m glad we left a little earlier, so I could see this during the day. I sit taller, waiting for the signs I’ve always seen in pictures to appear. Hunter chuckles next to me.

  “It’s so exciting,” I say when I begin to see the bars that offer live music and showcase the talents I love listening to.

  I look at Hunter with wide eyes. “You can’t pretend you’re indifferent to this.”

  “I’m not, but I’ve seen it many times.”

  “This is your passion, you could never get tired of it.”

  He shakes his head. “This place always reminded me how much I missed you.”

  I get it. I moved to a place that tied no connection to him. It couldn’t be any more different from the life we had built up in our dreams. He moved where we were supposed to build our lives together.

  “I’m here now.”

  “You are.” He looks at me briefly with a warm smile.

  He points out the bars he’s gone to, the ones he sang in a couple of times. An eagerness to see it all settles over me.

  “We’ll go to dinner tonight, low-key, but I’d like for you to meet the guys from Rebel Desire tomorrow. I know I have to work, and I hate leaving you alone, but you can take my car and explore the city. After work, we’ll go out for a bit.”

  “Okay.” After living alone for three ye
ars, I grew to love exploring places by myself. Who knows, maybe I’ll run into some famous singers. I laugh at myself for the random and unrealistic thought.

  “What’s so funny?”

  “Nothing.” My cheeks heat.

  “Tell me.”

  “I was just laughing at myself for a thought I had.” It’s embarrassing to admit what I thought because everyone knows you won’t necessarily spot a musician because you’re in their city. I lived in Los Angeles and didn’t run into actors all the time. Although one time I did see Ronan Connolly with his wife, Holliday. The excitement of seeing him was enough to last a lifetime. When Chelle suggested we go up to them and ask for photos, I pulled her back. If I was with Hunter and he was a famous musician, I’d want the bit of privacy we could get while enjoying a meal.

  “Am I going to have to get it out of you another way?” His voice teases me, the meaning of his words falls on my skin like a whispered promise.

  “I was thinking it would be cool to run into a singer while I’m out and about. I know it’s silly. Being here doesn’t automatically equal seeing Sam Hunt eating at a restaurant.”

  “Sam Hunt? I should be jealous of that comment. Maybe I shouldn’t let you explore Nashville alone tomorrow.” He lifts his eyebrows.

  I laugh at his reaction. “It’s not realistic.”

  “You’d be surprised. The first month I was here, I was scoping out bars and talking to managers, and I ran into Garth Brooks. I almost ran into his table.”

  “Did you say hi?” I turn all my attention to him.

  “Yeah,” he chuckles. “After apologizing profusely for almost tipping his glass on him.”

  “That’s really cool.” I lean back on the seat and sigh. The more time I spend with Hunter, the more I question if my decision to move to Los Angeles was a mistake. He came back for me, even if it wasn’t immediately, and I was already gone. Had I not been gone, would we have had the chance to talk things out and work on our relationship? I know I can’t focus on the past and the what ifs in life, but sometimes it’s tempting.

  We get to Hunter’s apartment, and I follow him through the door, my palms sweating.

  “This is it,” he smiles sheepishly.

  “I love it.” I look around the space.

  “There’s not much to love about it.” Hunter stays by the door while I walk further into the apartment. A brown couch sits in the living room off the small kitchen. The space is warm, with dark furnishings. I smile when I see his guitar propped against the wall, next to the television. In its simplicity, it feels very Hunter.

  “The bathroom is in the bedroom. I’ll drop your bag there.”

  “Thank you.” I look around the space, noticing a door in the living room that leads to a balcony. I peek out the door, spotting the descending sun, and see some kids playing in the pool below us.

  “You can go out onto the balcony.” Hunter’s voice startles me.

  “You scared me.” I turn around, my hands on my chest.

  “Sorry,” he smirks. He makes his way to me, sliding open the door.

  I walk out, feeling the warmth and humidity of the summer evening. The laughs from the people in the pool are heard up here on the third floor. There’s a jungle gym for kids on one side and a few people in the jacuzzi. It’s a pretty area without being luxurious.

  Strong arms wrap around me from behind. “I’ve imagined you here a million times,” he whispers into my hair. My skin pebbles, and I relax into him.

  “I can’t help but wonder how things would’ve been had I come with you.”

  “Me, too.”

  “We got things mixed up, but I’m happy I’m here.” I continue to enjoy his warmth.

  “Maybe this is what we needed. We needed to feel what it was like to live apart, so we could appreciate each other more. Not take for granted how easy our relationship was. I sure as hell know I am a lot more grateful for having you here now.” His arms tighten around me.

  I continue to stare ahead as his words sink in. We did have it easy. Maybe the stress of a new city, the attention of a new career, would’ve torn us apart. Maybe now we’re stronger independently so that together we could be unbreakable.

  “That all makes sense.” I watch as the children continue to swim and throw a ball in the pool. “Could you imagine if we would’ve had a little one swimmin’ around down there.” My voice catches in my throat. Hunter holds me tighter, his palms against my stomach. He drops a kiss on the top of my head.

  “It would’ve been pretty amazing, but we can still have that, if you want.”

  I turn around to look at him. “I’m scared. I’ve been terrified since it happened. I put myself on birth control immediately,” I look away. “I never wanted to feel the way I did when I lost that baby, so I made sure I’d never get pregnant.”

  “Hey,” Hunter’s calloused hand touches my face. He’s tender as his eyes pierce mine. “I can’t even pretend that I could imagine that feelin’. There’s no way I could begin to come up with how that experience affected you, but I know that it’s somethin’ that happened because it needed to. You didn’t do ‘nything wrong, and it doesn’t mean it will happen again. What I do know is that you can’t live in fear because of it.”

  “It was scary. I’ve told myself over and over again that I was barely pregnant.”

  “But you were. You held our baby in here for some time.” His hand presses gently into my belly. “It takes courage to move on from that. You could’ve stayed home, lost the desire to do anything, especially after we broke up. Instead, you made somethin’ great out of your life.”

  “Thank you.”

  He shakes his head. “Nah. Don’t thank me. I don’t deserve it.”

  It’s my turn to touch his face. “Hunter, look at me.” He doesn’t meet my eyes, so I bring his face to me. “You do deserve it. We made mistakes, lost our way. Neither of us are angels in this situation. What matters is that we’re here. You found me, and for that I’m grateful. You didn’t just find me in California, you helped me find my way back to the life I truly love and want. You pulled me out of hiding.”

  “I knew the moment I found you, I wouldn’t let you go. You have no idea how crazy I’ve been going. Three years without knowing where you were or who you were with. My biggest nightmare came true when Justin replied to that email. I refused to lose you, though.”

  I smile and touch his lips with mine. His persistence led me here today.

  “Why don’t you go get ready for dinner.” He gazes down at me like he used to when we were younger.

  “Okay.” I kiss his cheek and walk back into the apartment, grabbing what I need before jumping in the shower.

  “I thought we’d do low-key tonight,” Hunter says as he leads me to the restaurant he chose, his hand in mine. “Tomorrow I’ll introduce you to my friends.”

  My heart kicks my chest at that thought. We’ve always had the same friends and acquaintances, and tomorrow I’ll meet the people he became friends with after me. It’s exciting, but also nerve-wracking. What do they know about me? What do they think?

  “Sounds good,” I smile.

  “I have a reservation under Hunter Daniels,” Hunter tells the hostess.

  She flips through the pad and frowns. “I already had someone come in for that reservation.”

  “That’s impossible.”

  “A man arrived a few minutes ago. Let me go check.” When she leaves the podium, Hunter walks further into the restaurant and curses.

  “What happened?”

  He shakes his head and guides us to a table where a man and woman are sitting

  “You mother fucker,” Hunter tells the man with a smile.

  “You never shoulda told me where you were goin’.” The guy looks at me. “You must be Mackenzie.” He stands with a big smile. “I’ve heard a lot about you. I’m Dex.” He reaches out his hand for me to shake. I smile and shake his hand, his green eyes twinkling with mischief.

  “You stole my reserva
tion,” Hunter tells him.

  “No, I just extended the number of people for your table.” Dex takes a seat again and points to the other two chairs at the table. “Mackenzie, this is Reese.”

  “Hi,” I smile at the woman sitting next to Dex.

  “Hey, it’s so great meeting you. I’ve heard so many wonderful things about you.” I peek at Hunter, who’s scowling at Dex.

  “It’s nice to meet you, too. Both of you.”

  “I can’t believe you two are still hangin’ out,” Hunter looks between them. “Your brother will kill me for introducin’ you to this douche.”

  “We’re just friends,” Reese confirms with a serious expression.

  “Not if I could help it,” Dex mumbles. I giggle at his reaction.

  Reese ignores him and rolls her eyes. “I need someone to hang out with since my sister is all serious about her boyfriend and Jason is going to be a dad.”

  “Reese’s brother is Jason Stone, Rebel Desire’s bass player,” Hunter informs me.

  “Oh, cool. That must be neat.”

  “It’s okay. He’s a normal guy. When he starts to act as if he’s too cool for me, I threaten him with sharing embarrassing baby pics.”

  I laugh at her honesty.

  “You guys can go now,” Hunter urges.

  “Hell no. We want to get to know Mackenzie.” Dex winks, annoying Hunter, and I can’t help but laugh. You can tell he’s trouble, but he’s funny.

  “Fine,” Hunter bites. I grab his hand under the table and give it a gentle squeeze.

  Reese and I start talking, her asking me a ton of questions about where I’ve been and what I do for a living. Seems as if Hunter has told his friends about me, at least more than I expected.

  “You’ve got a real keeper here,” she lifts her head toward Hunter, who is sitting next to me.

  I nod. “Yeah.”

  “And I’m sure he knows how lucky he is to have you back in his life.” She gives him a pointed look.

  “Sure as hell do,” Hunter tells her. “Are you ready for tomorrow?” He asks Dex.

  “Ready as ever.” Dex rubs his hands together.