Memories of Us

by Fabiola Francisco

  “He was cheating on me, and he thinks he can do that?” Her voice gets stronger. I clench my jaw. Fucker. I’m glad she realized what kind of person he is before they got more serious and it’d be harder for her to walk away.

  “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t ask you that.”

  “I hate knowing he was someone in your life, but it’s somethin’ I have to accept. It’s my fault you ran off and tried to move on with another person. It’s my fault we’re sittin’ here tonight, talkin’ about this instead of already being married and living a happy life.”

  Her lashes cast down. “You think we would’ve survived it? Stayed together and happy while you worked day and night to fulfill your dream? It could’ve put a strain on us.”

  I shake my head, my face growing serious. “Nah. You’ve always been my number one. If going to Nashville and workin’ to become a singer put a wedge between us, I wouldn’t have wanted that dream. Singing always came second to you. As you know, it was an empty dream without you there with me.”

  “Do you regret it?”

  “No.” I don’t hesitate. “I love writing songs. It was always part of that dream. I’m just not the one on stage singing them. My name isn’t on the front of an album, praising the songs. I’m okay with that. I didn’t want to be a singer to get praise like that. I wanted it because I loved it, but I love you more.”

  Mackenzie nods, biting back a smile. “You know that’s all true, right?” I ask her.

  She nods again. “I know. As much as I wanted to stop loving you, I couldn’t.”

  Her words catch my attention, my ears lifting to make sure I heard correctly. “What?”

  “You’ve said it yourself, it’s impossible to stop loving someone the way we loved. I tried. I was so hurt, Hunter. I didn’t want anything to do with you. That’s the reason I blocked you every way I could think of. Not because I stopped loving you, but because I loved you too much, and the pain of that was unbearable.”

  “I’ll make it up to you each day. You know I’m not a bad man, I just made a bad choice. I spoke the wrong words. I was selfish and hopin’ to be able to do all we talked about before startin’ a family. We’ll do it right this time. I won’t walk away, even if you ask me to. You needed me, and I needed you, and we failed ourselves by not giving that support. We’re older now and have lived more experiences. The promise I make to you tonight isn’t to love you ’til eternity, I already do and always have. It’s to always stand by your side, hold you when you need it, support you, because lovin’ you is easy, but sometimes relationships are hard. I promise to be the man you always believed I was. No more disappointments, no more hurt.” I feel moisture on the hand that’s still cradling her cheek and wipe it away with my thumb. I move my lips to her cheek, kissing away the path of her tears.

  “I promise,” I whisper into her skin, so her pores can seep in the meaning of my words.

  “Although I didn’t think so at the moment, I’m glad you showed up at my apartment that day.” Her confession is music to my ears.

  “I am, too. I thank your dad for that.” I take a deep breath and decide now’s as good a time to say what I’ve been thinking. “You can also apply for jobs in Nashville.” I take a deep breath and wait for her answer.

  “That’s a possibility.” Her response breathes life back into me.

  “Think about it. I can ask around and get the names of some schools. Jason, Rebel Desire’s bass player, has a stepdaughter. He may be able to help.”

  “I’ll think about it.”

  “We’re gonna make this work, Kenzie,” I promise. “Even if I have to drive two hours every day to see you.”

  Her hand reaches for my face, feeling my beard. She nods softly, and I almost miss it. Then, I kiss her again until we’re both out of breath and drive her home.

  MACKENZIE AND I HAVE worked on our relationship in the last few weeks after her visit to Springville. We talk every day, laugh, console each other for the mistakes and the anger. As much as I wish we didn’t have the distance, it helped us start again without pressure.

  She’s finally moving back, and I’m picking her and Tiffany up from the airport. It’s been too many weeks since I’ve seen Mackenzie.

  I pull into the parking lot and stop my car in a spot. Rushing into the airport, I make sure I’m in arrivals before she walks out. I place my hands in my pockets and lean against a column. I watch as people filter out of the door that separates those traveling from their loved ones, waiting to see them.

  I finally see Mackenzie rolling a large suitcase, a messy knot on top of her head. Tiffany is chatting next to her, but when Mackenzie’s eyes meet mine, she smiles slowly. I wink and walk toward her. Tiffany gives up on the conversation when she realizes what’s happening.

  I stand in front of Mackenzie, the side of my mouth tilted up, and cradle her face. I lean down, my lips brushing against hers innocently before my tongue traces the seam of her closed lips. She grants access to my silent plea. I kiss her hard, showing her how much I missed her. At some point she releases her suitcase and wraps her arms around my waist. I don’t give a shit that we’re in public and people are staring. I’ve missed her, for far longer than a month’s time.

  “Hi,” I breathe out when we part.

  “Hi.” Her smile is bright, and her eyes are vibrant. So different than a few months ago.

  “Hellooo…” Tiffany’s wide eyes look between us.

  “Hey, Tiff.” I rub the top of her head, knowing she hates it.

  “You guys need a room. ASAP.” She rolls her eyes and walks away from us, toward the exit of the airport.

  “She may be right,” I whisper into Mackenzie’s ear. “I missed you.” I look into her eyes.

  “I missed you, too.” I still halt when I hear her say those words. It’s like a dream I never thought I’d get to experience in real life.

  I grab her suitcase and hold her hand before leading her outside and to my truck.

  “How was the flight?” I ask them once I’m driving out of the airport.

  “Boring,” Tiffany sighs. “Mackenzie slept the entire time and I had an old man talkin’ to me instead.”

  I laugh, hearing her complain. “So, you got rest?” I look at Mackenzie quickly.

  “Yeah, but Tiffany kept shoving me with her elbow, trying to wake me up.”

  “You felt that?”

  “Yeah.” She turns around to look at her sister in the back seat.

  I laugh when I see Tiffany stick her tongue out from the rearview mirror. “And you didn’t try to help me with the chattering from the old man?”

  “Nope. It was fun hearing you try to skirt around the conversation.” Mackenzie faces the front again, laughing.

  “You’re the worst,” Tiffany mumbles.

  “When do the rest of your things arrive?” I ask her.

  “In a couple of weeks. It isn’t too much, but Chelle is shipping the two boxes for me.”

  “Good.” I reach for her hand and hold it firmly, never wanting to let it go.

  I pull into their ranch and help them take their bags inside. After greeting her parents and watching them hug Mackenzie with so much happiness, I walk out to the back porch with my girl.

  “I know you just got here and want to rest probably, but do you think you’ll be free in a couple hours to go for a ride?”

  “Yeah,” she smiles.

  “I’ll come pick you up. I’m so fucking happy you’re here. For good.” I kiss her full lips once before leaving.

  I’d be a fool to think that Mackenzie and I can pick up where we left off before shit went down. I know that won’t happen, but we are building something different. Yet, we have a familiarity that removes bullshit and games. I don’t want her to pretend she’s still angry as a ploy to punish me just because. We aren’t immature teens. That was never our style anyway. If we’re both willing to overcome the past, then we do it with honesty.

  Some days it’s hard. She brings shit up and I have to swallow
my pride. But like I told her a month ago, loving her is easy. It’s relationships that take work, especially when our egos get in the way.

  I’m tired of wasting time when we both want to be together, I want to give this a shot. I know she’s going to start applying to other schools in the area soon, and I’m holding out hope that she’ll add Nashville to her list. I hope that once she sees it this week, sees the life I have and how she fits into it, that she’ll want to be there with me. Because I’m ready to have it all with her. All the promises we made before, the dreams, the love, the life that we envisioned. I want to give it all to her, including the ring I bought after I spoke to her dad and asked him for his blessing to marry her.

  I feel like, for the first time in years, my life is finally moving in the right direction. The stagnation that kept me in the same place has finally dissipated.

  I arrive to my parents’ house and go inside to let them know I’m back. Although we’ve worked to get the problem with the cattle fixed, my dad took a financial hit because of it. The animals weren’t thick enough to get the cost per pound like other years, but at least we overcame it. Although my parents make money from other things on the ranch, the meat from the cows is a huge chunk. I’m proud to have been here for it. To have had a hand in helping.

  “How’s Mackenzie?” my mom asks as I sit with her and my dad at the kitchen table.

  “She’s good. Happy to be back, I think.”

  “I’m sure she is.” My mom smiles, and I check the time.

  “I’m gonna meet her in a bit, so I’m gonna go check fences,” I tell them.

  “Rick is out there. Ask him what he needs help with,” my dad calls out. I nod and walk out to the back, finding Rick. I’m living the best of both worlds at the moment, writing songs in Nashville and coming home when I can to work on the ranch.

  I ask Rick what he needs a hand with and get to work. He finished checking the fence line already, so I check on the animals.

  When I finish, I get Addie ready for my ride and head over to Mackenzie’s house through the backwoods. I used to ride this way often when I was younger, rain or shine, as long as it wasn’t freezing, I’d ride to Mackenzie’s house to see her. Some days I’d sweep her away with me on the back of Addie. Other days she’d ride Macey.

  As soon as I get to her property, I tie Addie to the hitching post and make my way to the back door, knocking.

  “Hey,” Mackenzie answers with a smile. “I love when you wear this.” She taps my black, Stetson hat.

  “Hi.” I lean in and touch her lips with mine. “Ready for a ride?”

  “Yeah.” She walks out, tight jeans tucked into her boots and a tank top that marks her breasts and curves. She slips on a ball cap, looping her ponytail through the back opening. I take her in, simply beautiful, and hope she chooses to ride with me instead of on her own. I’d kill to feel her pressed against my back.

  I take a deep breath and grab her hand. “Do you want to ride with me,” I squeeze her fingers, “or ride Macey?”

  “I wanna ride Macey.”

  “Really? I was kinda hopin’ to have your arms wrapped around me as we rode.” I move my hands to her hips, pressing my fingers into her sides and bringing her close to me.

  “Behave.” She places her hands on my chest and shoves lightly, enough that she’s no longer feeling my erection pressed against her.

  “You make it hard to,” I whisper into her ear. “But I will because I want to make sure I own your heart first. I already told you I’d make sure to win over your heart and soul before winning over your body. And trust me, I’m dying to feel you beneath me.”

  I feel her shiver in my arms and smirk. I want her, there’s no doubt about it, but after all these years and the reason we broke up, I want to make sure she knows I’m serious about us. I don’t want her to doubt my feelings for her, doubt my love.

  She remains quiet as we walk to the stables to prepare Macey.

  Once we’re ready, we head north into the forest, riding side by side.

  “Are you excited to come to Nashville with me?” I look to my right, eyeing her on Macey.

  “Yeah,” she shrugs.

  “Are you sure?” I stop Addie and look at Mackenzie, taking in her stiff body language.

  “Yeah.” She’s a little more confident this time.

  “Doesn’t sound like it.” My shoulders drop.

  “Hunter, I am excited.” There’s an annoyance in her voice.

  I continue to ride, quiet. As much as I want her there with me, I rather her not go if she’s not sure about it. It pains me to think that, but maybe I’m rushing her into something she’s not ready for.

  “Listen Kenzie, if you want to stay here, that’s cool.”

  “Hunter Daniels, you’re annoying me. I told you I want to go.”

  “But you don’t sound like you mean it,” I retort.

  Mackenzie sighs, staring straight ahead as Macey takes her down the path littered with trees.

  “It’s not that I don’t mean it, I just… I’m not sure what to expect. I’m going to see how you live in a place that we were supposed to go to together. I’m nervous,” she confesses, her gaze still away from mine.

  “You don’t have to be nervous. I’m still me. Our plans may not have gone the way we wanted, but you don’t have to have expectations. I want to show you Nashville, show you where I work and live. Take you to a live show. Yeah, I may be hoping you fall in love with the city and want to live there with me, but I know you have to do what’s best for you right now.”

  She turns to look at me with a frown. “You’ve built a life there without me.”

  I shake my head. “You did the same in LA. It happened, but the life I live isn’t the glamour you’re imagining. I make a decent paycheck now that I’m actually getting songs I’ve written played on the radio. Once Rebel Desire starts putting out more singles, it’ll help me, but I’m still the same guy. My apartment is small, and I still drink beer. You’re the life I’ve always wanted.”

  “It’s just so much—seeing you again, forgiving you, working things out.”

  I dismount and walk to her. I place my hand on her hip and tug her lightly, so she dismounts. Face to face, I wrap my arms around her and look down into her eyes, darker than usual.

  “It has been a lot to process in a short time. I’ve never doubted this is what I want, so I’m ready for everything we always wanted. I’m giving you the time to take it all in, make your decisions, but I won’t back down on my pursuit of you. Not when you’ve given me the okay to win you over.”

  “Hunter,” my name falls from her lips in a soft escape. “I’ve never doubted my feelings either, but after we broke up, I locked up the possibility of being in a relationship with you again. Not because I didn’t care, but I was so hurt, sad, about it all. I never stopped caring about you, thinking about you, no matter how much I wish I could. You’re not the villain in this story, although it was easier to make you one in my attempt to move on.”

  I tighten my arms around her bringing her closer, inhaling her sweet scent mixed with the smell of wood and pine surrounding us.

  “It’s part of our story. One day we’ll look back on it and be thankful for it because it shaped us. We may not see it now because the wound is still healing, but I’m here for the long haul. No more bull that will push you away, close you off. From now on, we laugh together and cry together.”

  Her body begins to relax as my words sink in and she expresses what she’s been holding.

  “Do you feel better?”

  “Yeah,” she responds. “I’m just being silly.”

  “You’re not.” I lift her chin to look me in the eyes beneath her cap. “Nothing that concerns you is silly. You can talk to me about anything, Kenzie.” She nods, a small smile adorning her face.

  “Now, ready to race?” I slap her ass.

  “Hey!” She shoves me and climbs on Macey. “Last one to the river is the loser.” She takes off, leaving me behin
d, still standing and staring at her disappearing form. Fuck that was hot.

  I get on Addie and take off in a sprint after her, knowing she’ll beat me with that head-start.

  “Took you long enough.” She’s sitting at the edge of the river, Macey tied to a tree.

  I get off Addie, tie her to another tree with enough distance between her and Macey and stalk toward Mackenzie

  I sit behind her, my legs on either side of her and my arms encasing her. I kiss the back of her neck. “That was sexy, watching you ride off like that.”

  “Oh yeah?” She tilts her head.

  “Yup,” I murmur against her warm skin. “So sexy.” My fingers tease her stomach over the tank top. Her body presses against me.

  “I’ve said it a ton of times, but I missed this place.” She stares out at the rushing water of the river.

  “I’m just glad you’re back.”

  “Me, too.”

  We’re quiet for a bit, just the water, trees, and birds speaking. I don’t need much more than this. I’ve thought about moving back to Springville and going to Nashville only when it’s necessary, but I’m just starting off and need to be in people’s faces.

  I also missed this place. I may have been closer than Mackenzie, but I was just as absent as she was. Nashville is great, and it has places to enjoy nature, but nothing like home.

  I head back tomorrow afternoon with Mackenzie. She’ll stay with me for a few days, playing it by ear. If she wants me to bring her back earlier I will, if not she’ll stay with me for a week. I’m counting on that week.

  I want her to see the studio and meet Rebel Desire. I want to take her to Riot and introduce her to Dex. Hell, I kinda want her to meet Reese, also. They’d get along great.

  “How cold do you think the water is?” Mackenzie turns her head as much as she can.

  “Only one way to find out.”

  She takes off her boots, tucking her socks into them, and rolls her jeans as high as they’ll go. She stands and turns to me, my eyes moving from her teal toes up her legs and landing on her smile.

  Her hands land on her hips and she says, “What’re ya waitin’ for?”