Sorrows of Adoration

by Kimberly Chapman

  I looked at him in surprise. “Are you mad? Nothing to be nervous about? I’m common rabble, and yet I’ll be expected to raise the heir to the throne!”

  Kurit’s face became serious. “Stop saying those things. You’re my Princess now. There’s nothing common about you.” He kissed me again, kindly at first, but as usual it became very passionate. I lightly bit his lower lip, which I had learned made him gasp in delight.

  “Don’t arouse me if we can’t make love on our return. I’ll go mad waiting for the night,” he whispered. I ignored his words and kept doing things that I knew made him wild. “Aenna, if you don’t stop, I’ll kiss you on that spot on your neck that makes you lose control, and then I’ll take you right here in this coach.”

  “You’re bluffing,” I said. “There is no such spot.”

  “Oh, is that so?” he asked. He lowered his head to my neck and quickly proved me wrong by nibbling along the curve between the neck and shoulder on the right side. I tried not to moan in soft delight, but I could not prevent the sound.

  “See?” he whispered between nibbles and kisses. “And now I’m going to be as beastly as ever and make love with you right here and now.” He lifted me up and set me on the opposite bench, kneeling one on knee on the floor between. Still kissing my neck and chest, he pushed his hands slowly up my legs, lifting my skirt to my hips.

  “Kurit,” I said breathlessly.

  “You’re going to stop me, aren’t you?” he sighed in disappointment, looking up at me.

  I shook my head. “No. But at least have the decency to pull down the shades. There are mounted guards on all sides.”

  He smiled a wicked grin and did so quickly. “I love you, my little klysh,” he said and continued his kissing, caressing my legs. He rose back up to the bench across from me, lifting my legs with him. He tugged on my underclothes from their lowest point at my knees until they slid out from under me and he could remove them completely. Then he knelt again to resume his kisses, putting his hand on the aroused flesh between my naked legs, making me cry out for him.

  “Hush,” he said softly. “The coachman shall hear us. We have to be quiet naughty people, or he’ll stop to make sure we’re all right.” He touched me again, moving his fingers in slow circles on me, then pushing between the soft folds to tease the tender spot near the top. I clenched my teeth to prevent myself from making noise.

  Still kneeling, he used his free hand to unclasp his trousers and push them down below his hips. He rose, putting his hands on the bench on either side of me. He leaned forward to enter me, but the angle was wrong and we kept having to shift around.

  Finally he said, “This isn’t working. Here, I have another idea.” He sat on the other bench and pulled me towards him. He positioned himself at the very edge of the bench, leaning back to rest only his head and shoulders on the wall behind him.

  With his arms clasped around my waist for balance, I was able to kneel on the bench over him and position myself so he was inside me. He pushed himself up, moaning my name happily. When he found I was too high up for him to kiss me, he left one arm around me for balance and used the other to unbutton the front of my dress. He did so far enough to gain access to my breasts, which he happily put his face between. Then he replaced his arm around me.

  I could not move well without slipping, so he let the steady rocking of the carriage help him to move in me. Because that tender spot was pressed hard against him and because what we were doing was so lustful and scandalous, I began to reach the point of ecstasy right away. When finally I bit down on my lower lip to prevent my cries of pleasure, the intensity of it was such that I almost fell off him. Only his locked embrace kept me there as my mind reeled.

  When I regained self-control, I looked at him, not even knowing if he had finished as well. By the happy, tired look on his face, I realized he had. He opened his eyes and smiled at me wickedly.

  He helped me remove myself from the kneeling position without falling, and we redressed ourselves in a ridiculous, awkward fashion. I asked if I was a mess, knowing Leiset would suspect me if I was, but he said no one would be able to tell what he had been up to.

  “But I’ll know,” he said as I sat beside him and he put his arms around me. “And when you’re an old, white-haired lady I shall tease you about it,” he laughed.

  “Go ahead,” I replied in a sensual tone. “And I shall challenge you then to take me out in a coach and repeat the act.”

  He laughed loudly at my bold words, kissing my cheek and clutching me to him. “Aenna, you’re an absolute delight!”

  * * *

  We returned home to a kind welcome, minus the Queen, of course. I didn’t mind her absence, given that Kurit was always happier when she wasn’t there glaring at me. The King kissed my cheek and smiled at me and then solidly embraced his son.

  Jarik positively beamed when he saw us and took my hand for a decorous kiss. “Now I get to begin my role and watch over you every minute,” he said.

  “You make it sound so arduous,” I replied.

  “Not at all. Every man should be so fortunate to watch over such a lovely Princess,” he said, bowing and kissing my hand again. I laughed, and he flashed a handsome smile at me. Then he rose and looked at Kurit. “You have been a gentleman, I trust?” he asked, and I suspected he was only half teasing.

  Kurit held his hands in the air as an innocent protest. “I have treated my wife with respect and kindness, cousin. I require no thrashing for my behaviour. Do I, Aenna?”

  I laughed again. “Not at all. Jarik, he was an absolute dear.” I took each of their hands and headed to the parlour. “Come, I want to hear all the gossip we’ve missed, and we shall tell you about our adventurous trip to the cottage.”

  “Yes, I heard there was a problem with the coach,” Jarik said as we three went happily to talk.

  That was the beginning of the most perfect time of my life. Kurit, Jarik, and I spent a great deal of time together, talking, teasing, and laughing. They taught me various games of strategy, some using ornately carved stones on wooden boards. The only time I was not with one or both of them was during my ongoing studies, which I also loved. I spent hours in the library, devouring every book I could get my hands on.

  My nights were spent in Kurit’s arms, or at least by his side. We made love frequently, breaking the habit only when I began to grow too big to do so comfortably. I found myself quite addicted to lovemaking, to be honest.

  They were not carefree days, but my concerns were light and my troubles few and unimportant. Leiset was a dear and doted on me. In fact, she, Kurit, and Jarik began a silly competition of caring for me, each trying to outdo the others. It was embarrassing, but I couldn’t have been happier.

  Those days were bliss. They were truly fantastic.

  And then it all fell apart in the space of a single evening.

  Chapter 11

  I SAT IN MY receiving room with Leiset one cold and blustery night towards winter’s end. I had been pregnant for not quite eight months, and my large belly made sleeping uncomfortable. I stayed up late most nights just to avoid having to lie in my bed.

  Kurit still shared my bed most nights, though he often asked if I’d be better off trying to be comfortable alone. I might have been, but the dear man was so good to me when he was beside me. He rubbed my aching lower back and swollen ankles. He fretted over me constantly, and I admit I enjoyed the kind attention. Sometimes he lay beside me with his hands or his head pressed to my belly, hoping to catch a sound or a movement. His enthusiasm usually helped to dissipate any grouchiness I felt as a result of the physical discomfort.

  But that night, he and Jarik were sitting in on an informal Council meeting that was a prelude to the upcoming semi-annual one. So there I sat, wishing the meeting would end soon so he would come to me but holding little hope that it would.

  I grew restless and fidgety. “I wish I had gone to the meeting.” I sighed.

  “Aenna, Kurit wouldn’t have been abl
e to pay attention to the speakers if you were there, sitting uncomfortably in the hard-backed chair,” Leiset said.

  “I know. That’s why I said I’d stay here when he invited me. I just don’t like feeling uninformed.”

  “He promised to brief you tomorrow. You don’t look very well. Shall I fetch you some tea?” she offered.

  I was about to refuse when a knock came at the door. She rose to open it.

  “Good evening to you, Leiset,” I heard a voice say behind the door. “Lady Sashken’s maidservant Eyill has requested your assistance in the library.”

  “Whatever for?” Leiset asked, annoyed. The door had swung open far enough that I could see the current hall guard who was delivering the request.

  “Forgive me, she did not say. She said only that it was urgent,” he said.

  Leiset looked at me and rolled her eyes. “This makes no sense.”

  “Go ahead,” I said. “She must have a reason, and there’s really no point in causing a fuss over it. I’ll be fine here.”

  “I shall be back soon, then,” she said, closing the door behind her as she left.

  So there I sat alone, grumbling to myself about how everyone told me I looked so radiant when what I truly felt like was an overstuffed bag of skin. Another knock soon came to the door. Instead of rising, I just shouted, “Come in! It is unlocked.”

  The door opened slowly to reveal the timid maid Melly, clutching a sealed letter in her hands. “Forgive my disturbance, Your Highness,” she said softly, curtsying repeatedly, as was her wont.

  I tried to look pleasant for the poor thing. “That’s fine, Melly. What do you have there?”

  She looked at the note in alarm and said, “I just found it now, in the kitchen. Your Highness, I don’t know why it was there. I can’t imagine why!”

  I reached out my hand for it. “Don’t worry Melly, it’s all right. Just give me the letter.”

  She hurriedly brought it to me, apologized again, curtsied again, and scampered away.

  It was a folded and sealed piece of paper with the words “Deliver Immediately to Princess Aenna” on one side, in unfamiliar handwriting. I cracked the seal and read the note.

  “Your Highness,” it read, “His Highness Prince Kurit graciously requests that you meet him as soon as you are able in the courtyard.” That was all. There was no signature nor other indication the author of the note, though I knew it was not Kurit’s handwriting at all.

  I puzzled at the strange request and then thought perhaps Kurit was up to some silly surprise or game. Perhaps he had some gift for me in the courtyard, though that would be a strange place to give a gift to a woman with child on a cold, windy night. I had no notion as to how long the note had remained undelivered in the kitchen, but the idea that the poor man might have been waiting out in the cold for me for some time prompted me to hurriedly rise and fetch a cloak.

  As I went out the door with the note in hand, I pondered leaving another note for Leiset but was reluctant to keep poor Kurit waiting alone outside any longer. Instead, I told the hall guard that I was going to find Kurit and asked him to tell Leiset when she returned, so she would not worry. He nodded pleasantly, and I hurried downstairs.

  I spoke with a guard by the main doors briefly, only to learn that he had not seen Kurit go outside nor come in. I fretted that he had been out there for a long time and quickly went out.

  There was not a great deal of snow on the ground, as we had been fortunate enough to have had a mild winter so far. There were, however, small drifts about the shadowy areas, and the whipping wind gathered bits of ice from them to be tossed into my face, making it difficult to see. I pulled the cloak around me and looked for Kurit, but the ice-wind and sudden darkness after being in the well-lit palace conspired to blind me.

  I stumbled down the steps towards the gate when I heard a voice that I did not recognize call my name softly. I turned to the sound, which came from the south, in the poorly lit end of the courtyard by the smokehouse. I could see no one there, so I called out, “Kurit?” but there was no response.

  A dreadful apprehension seized me as I walked towards the sound. This was unlike Kurit, and if he thought he was being amusing he was sorely mistaken. I tugged my cloak tightly around me and shivered as I stepped foolishly towards the dark corner.

  Just as I realized that I could make out figures standing in the dark, one of them lunged at me and clamped a hard hand over my mouth. I tried to scream through it, but the stranger’s hold was unyielding. A second man joined him and grabbed my legs. I kicked hard, managing to land a blow to his chin, but he overpowered me quickly. A third figure stepped out from behind the cart in the shadows. My eyes widened in alarm as I recognized Sashken’s face peering at me out of her hooded wrap.

  I struggled anew, terrified, knowing full well that her presence meant something horrible was about to happen to me. But the men were very large and strong, and my flailing accomplished little. I tried desperately to make noise, to knock against something, to scream out. There had to have been guards on the wall above us, and I fought to alert them.

  Sashken muttered, “That’s enough of that,” and whacked my head soundly with something very hard, making me lose consciousness instantly.

  When I came around, I found myself bound, gagged, and enclosed in what I panicked to think might be a coffin. I struggled but could neither break my bonds nor loosen them at all. I heard muttering voices above me and recognized one to be Sashken’s. I decided to hold still for the moment to hear as much as I could.

  “This is very important,” she instructed them in harsh whispers that I prayed would be heard by the guards. “I don’t want her found for some time, if at all. Take her far from Endren before you kill her, and hurry. Once they find her note, the Prince will ride after her to convince her to come back home. You have to be far from Endren when he starts looking. I want no chance of him finding her. Do you understand?”

  Then the box I was in started moving, and I realized I was hidden in a smuggler’s compartment below the cart. I wiggled about in an effort to make a thumping noise, hoping, praying that someone would hear and rescue me. I screamed into my gag. I screamed and cried and screamed again, but even I could tell that the sound of the horse and wheels on the stone roads was louder than any noise I could make.

  When I had screamed myself hoarse, I lay in the box weeping pathetically. I called out to Kurit in my mind, knowing that he could not hear it. I envisioned him finding that I was gone, when he had spent so much time before our wedding worrying that I would run away. The thought that Sashken was planting a note for him to make him believe I had left willingly made me scream out again—a raw, tortured sound that crawled from my torn throat.

  Then a glimmer of hope came to me as I thought, Jarik, my dear Champion—he will have a level head. He will know that I wouldn’t have left willingly, not eight months with child! Not when I’ve been so obviously happy! He will have the entire King’s Guard and every other available man searching for me immediately!

  I stopped crying. I realized the guards at the gate would remember a cart leaving in such a hurry so late at night, undoubtedly only minutes before the gate was to be locked. Once that was reported back to those who searched, they’d know the direction to follow. Perhaps there was even sufficient snow outside the city for tracks to be followed.

  I forced myself to be calm. They’ll find me, I convinced myself. Jarik will find me. Kurit will find me. They will overtake this cart before these horrible men can harm me. And when they take me out to do the deed, if I have not yet been found, I’ll kick and bite and struggle and claw until I can run away. Please find me, Jarik, Kurit, please, I thought to them.

  But the cart did not stop. I heard no thunder of hooves, no frantic cries of men searching, no commands to halt. Then my heart sank and my fear returned with full force as I realized Kurit and Jarik were in the Council meeting, which could last long into the night. Furthermore, I had told the guard to tell Leiset I w
as fine. If the note Sashken spoke of was delivered to Kurit’s door directly, no one would realize I was gone for some time.

  I began trying to escape, frantically feeling around the compartment for a protruding nail, a splintered board, anything sharp against which I could rub my bonds to tear them. I found nothing, and began instead kicking the boards, but the awkward movement cramped my pregnant belly, and I felt I would be sick. I knew if I was sick with a gag in my mouth I would choke, so I forced myself to be still until the feeling passed.

  So I lay there in dread, fearing the worst, unable to save myself. I wept quietly, more for my poor Kurit than myself. Losing a wife and unborn child in one evening would be hard on any good man, but Kurit was so protective of me that this was sure to destroy him. All the times he had lovingly told me how he could not live without me flooded my mind, and I began to sob for him. And Jarik, poor, good, strong Jarik, my Champion—he would feel such guilt for this. Then there was Leiset—she would be so distraught! She would undoubtedly blame herself for leaving me alone.

  My heart ached for my loved ones. I hated myself for being unable to escape for them. I wept pathetically, caged in a small box, while the cart sped along through the night.

  Eventually, I became numb inside. Knowing that I was about to die, feeling such loss for my unborn child, such agony for those who loved me—it all became too much, and something in me became detached. The only feeling of which I was really aware as the hours passed was a desperate need to urinate. As night became day, I was finally unable to hold it. My wet clothes soon became cold and stiff, but still I was numb. More so, in fact, for the depression of having soiled myself.

  Still, the cart went on. I began to drift to sleep, exhausted, numb, and rocked continually in my little box. I know it sounds implausible, to sleep whilst being abducted and on the way to one’s death, but somehow I did.

  I woke when the cart stopped. A seizing fear clamped my chest, and I immediately began to struggle again. I knew it was night once more, for no light peeked through the boards of the cart. I prayed that we had stopped because I had been found missing and a searcher had caught up to the cart.