by Beth Wiseman
Matt glanced at Becky’s plate. She had taken one small spoonful of the pie and some green beans. Not very much at all, and no butter bread.
She was really taking this diet seriously. He wanted to tell her not to worry about her weight so much, but he wasn’t sure how. And he surely wouldn’t do it in front of her family.
Abram spooned some chow-chow onto his plate. “How’s the fence coming?”
“Gut. If the weather holds out, I think I can be done in a couple of weeks.”
“I would say there’s no rush, but I know Becky worries about those goats.” Abram bit into a thick slice of bread.
“Becky said you took four of the goats,” Sarah said. “How do they like their new home?”
Matt had tried to pay Becky for the goats, but she wouldn’t take any money. “They seem to be okay. Mamm was glad to have fresh goat milk this morning.”
They continued chatting as they ate. Becky pushed her food around on her plate, but Matt noticed that she didn’t actually eat very much.
Dessert was key lime pie. “Did you make this too?” Matt asked Becky as she served him a slice.
“Ya, I did.” She doled out slices for everyone except herself.
Matt took a bite. Becky wasn’t just beautiful, kind, and nurturing. She was also a great cook. “Well, it’s very gut.”
“Danki.”
Matt hadn’t been around Becky’s little sister, Lena, very much. The girl said almost nothing during the meal, but she stared at Matt a lot.
When he was finished, Matt eased his chair back. “Danki for the meal. I better get back to work.”
As he crossed the field back to where he’d left off, a handful of the goats followed, but most of them were busy grazing and didn’t give him much notice. He could see why a person would have goats. Not only did they provide nourishment and soap, but they were playful little critters.
For the rest of the afternoon he stretched chicken wire and continued repairs on the fence. But every few minutes he’d look toward the house, hoping that Becky would come visit him again.
Elam sat alone on the couch. His mother had taken the buggy to town, and he was taking the opportunity for some time alone. He hadn’t talked to or seen Becky since their fancy supper on Thursday night. How was their relationship going to change now that she knew how he really felt about her?
Confessing his feelings had been a stupid thing to do. Somewhere deep down, he knew she didn’t feel the same way about him, but he had remained hopeful.
He plunged a spoon into the tub of homemade vanilla ice cream. He missed Becky already. He’d almost gone to the bakery yesterday but decided against it. So instead, he had opted for ice cream.
Lots of girls ate when they were unhappy, and he could see why. It was comforting.
As he shoveled another heaping spoonful into his mouth, the front door opened and his mother walked in carrying two shopping bags. She stopped in the middle of the living room, shook her head at him, then made her way to the kitchen.
Elam followed her. “I wasn’t going to eat it all.”
His mother pulled out a sack of sugar from one of the bags, tore it open, and poured it into a large plastic container. “Becky isn’t the right girl for you, Elam. You’ll find your perfect match.”
Elam took off his glasses and rubbed at his eyes. “I guess.”
The truth was he couldn’t imagine being with anyone else. He had always felt safe with Becky, and now that he thought about it, he wondered if it was because she was too big to attract the attention of anyone else. It was an ugly thought, but it had surfaced just the same. Now that she was losing so much weight, Elam had noticed a lot of guys checking her out. She would land a husband soon, even if it wasn’t Matt King.
While he was lost in thought, his mother put a plate of leftover spaghetti and meatballs on the table. “Sit. You need to eat.” She pointed a finger at him. “Something besides ice cream.”
Becky or no Becky, Elam had to admit he was hungry. He dug in, rationalizing that starvation wouldn’t help him focus on something else.
His heart would heal. Logically, he knew this. But it was going to be a long and painful process.
It was two o’clock when Becky took Matt a large glass of iced tea. She couldn’t believe what a fast worker he was. This job wasn’t going to take two weeks.
“Danki.” He took the glass and swiped at the sweat beading on his forehead.
“This is the hottest part of the day, so I thought you might enjoy some tea.” She glanced toward the water jug on the ground nearby. “Do you need me to refill that?”
He shook his head. “Nee, I still have some. But you can stay out here and talk to me while I drink this tea.” He smiled, and Becky felt herself blush.
There were about a dozen goats surrounding them, but they were busily munching on the plentiful grass they had this time of year. “Okay.” She leaned against the fence.
Matt took several long gulps of tea, then stared at Becky long enough for it to become awkward. She looked away.
“You’ve lost a lot of weight.” He frowned a little, which seemed odd, but then added, “And you hardly ate anything at lunch.”
This is so embarrassing. If he only knew how she had begged God for a miracle. “I’ve, uh . . . been on a diet.”
“I thought you looked fine before. I mean, you look real pretty now too,” he added quickly. “But I don’t think you need to lose any more.”
You don’t? In Becky’s mind, another thirty or forty pounds would make her the perfect size. And she’d gotten used to not eating much. She’d dealt with some hunger pains in the beginning, but God was in control. He had given her self-discipline and granted her the miracle she’d begged for. Otherwise she would still be big as a house and depressed. She was feeling better about herself, more confident. Becky reached over and scratched Jellybean’s head between the two tiny knots that would be horns in a few weeks. “I still have quite a bit of weight I want to lose,” she finally said.
“Isn’t it hard? I mean, not eating what you want? I don’t think I’d be very gut at it.” He chuckled. “I like to eat too much.”
Becky really didn’t want to have this conversation with him—or anyone else, for that matter. “It’s not so hard.”
“Uh-oh.” Matt looked up at the sky. “That doesn’t look gut.”
“I didn’t think it was supposed to rain today.” Becky watched the dark clouds rolling in. “I better let you get back to work.” She smiled and gave a quick wave. “Stay dry.”
She hurried back toward the house, trying to analyze the conversation they’d just had. If she didn’t know better, she might have thought he was flirting with her, but since she’d never been flirted with before, it seemed unlikely. By the time she got to the front porch, it was starting to sprinkle.
It rained for a solid week.
Becky missed seeing Matt, and since this was the first day with no rain, she kept expecting him to show up to work on the fence any minute. For the past hour she had been running out to the clothesline to take the clothes down, just to be available if he appeared. But if he didn’t show up soon, she was going to have to start hanging them back up again.
She was going as slowly as she could when she finally heard the clip-clop of a horse’s hooves. A buggy rounded the corner and turned into the driveway. She pushed back a few loose strands of hair that had escaped from her kapp and tucked them back in as best she could.
She waved when the buggy got closer, but her heart sank when she realized it wasn’t Matt. She folded the shirt she held and laid it neatly in the basket, then walked with dragging feet toward Elam’s buggy.
“Wie bischt?” Elam smiled, but it wasn’t the same kind of smile she used to get from him.
“I’m okay. What about you?”
He shrugged. “Okay, I guess. I’ve just missed you.” He held up a palm. “Don’t take that the wrong way. It’s just that . . . well, I did.”
“I missed you t
oo.” It was true, and even though Becky didn’t share Elam’s romantic interests, she wanted more than ever for them to stay friends.
“I can’t stop thinking about you, and I know that I should say that we’re going to still be friends, and that nothing has changed . . .” He looked past her out into the field. “But things have changed, and I don’t know where we go from here.”
“Things don’t have to change.” She touched him on the arm, but he backed away. “Elam—” She choked back tears. “We’re still going to be friends and hang out, right?”
Elam’s eyes clouded. “I don’t know, Becky. I just knew that I had to see you. I wanted to make sure that you were okay. I didn’t have time to stop by the bakery. Chores have built up at home due to all this rain, and the roof started leaking in the kitchen—”
“Oh no. I’m sorry to hear that.” Becky wasn’t sure what to do or say, but she didn’t want to lose Elam as a friend. She wished he had never told her how he felt.
She looked around him when she heard another buggy turning in.
“Your new boyfriend?”
“Nee. He’s putting chicken wire on the fence so that the goats won’t get their heads stuck. Daed is paying him.”
Elam kept his head down as he kicked at the grass with one foot. Becky wanted to hug him but feared that would only make things worse. He finally looked up at her.
“You look beautiful.” Elam moved closer, kissed her on the cheek, then wrapped his arms around her and whispered, “I hope he takes gut care of you.”
“I told you. Matt is not my boyfriend.”
Even though there is nothing more in the world I want.
“I’ll see you around.” Elam turned back toward his buggy, and on the way he met Matt. They shook hands. Becky waited for Matt to come her way, but he just gave a quick wave and headed toward his project.
She picked up the basket of clothes and watched him for a few moments, but he didn’t turn around.
Finally, she walked toward the porch, her steps heavier than they had been in weeks. She wasn’t sure what she was more upset about—Matt not greeting her after having been away for a week or her conversation with Elam.
Both issues weighed heavily on her heart.
Chapter Eight
Church was held at the Bowmans’ house on Sunday, and both Matt and Elam were there. Becky had seen neither of them since the last worship service two weeks ago. Matt had finished the fence, and neither Elam nor Matt had stopped by the bakery.
She arrived at worship service feeling blue, but it didn’t take long for her spirits to rise. After worship she overheard people talking about her weight loss, and several folks spoke directly to her, telling her how great she looked. Over the past two weeks, she’d lost even more weight, and she was quickly approaching her goal. Her mother had voiced concern over how much weight Becky had lost—and so quickly—but Becky knew that it was the answer to her prayer.
She was standing in the kitchen helping prepare the noon meal when Hope Bowman walked in with Faith balanced on her hip. “You look so gut, Becky. It’s just amazing how much weight you’ve lost.”
“Danki. I feel much better too. I have so much more energy.”
She walked outside where small groups were gathered and looked around for Matt. He was nowhere to be found, but she caught sight of Elam right away. He was talking to Mary Stoltzfus and Hope’s boy, James. Everyone had noticed how Hope’s son, whom she’d given up for adoption when he was a baby, was wearing Amish clothes now, driving a buggy, and learning the Ordnung. Becky knew how much Hope wanted him to become a baptized member of their community someday. Such a blessing it was for them to have found each other.
Finally, she located Matt, took a deep breath, and walked to where he was standing alone near the barn.
“Hi. How are the goats doing?” She shifted from one foot to the other. What she really wanted to say was, Please notice how much weight I’ve lost.
“Gut,” Matt said. “We’re getting more milk, and even Mamm goes out and pets them.”
Becky nodded. “Well, I didn’t get to talk to you much the past couple of weeks, so I just wanted to check on them.”
“How’s the fence? Is the chicken wire working, keeping them from getting their heads stuck?”
“Ya. Danki. I’m glad I don’t have to wake up every morning worried that someone is stuck.”
“Do you have any plans this afternoon?” Matt avoided her eyes and looked past her. “I mean, if you and Elam are doing something together . . .” He shrugged. “It’s no big deal. I think Cinderella might be pregnant, and I was wondering if you’d be able to tell. I know you said that sometimes you can.”
Becky burst out laughing and bent slightly at the waist. “I’m sorry. It’s just funny to hear you calling her Cinderella. It’s such a girly name.” She raised one hand in a gesture of benign authority. “I hereby grant you permission to change her name, if you’d like.”
Matt laughed. “Well, Chester I can live with. But what about the other two does—Princess and Butterfly.”
“Well, they aren’t food names.” Becky smiled. “But as I recall, you seem to like the ones named after food.”
“Actually, they all answer to their names—just like dogs. So I guess I won’t change them.”
“I can ride over with you if you want later. I might be able to tell if she’s going to kid anytime soon.”
“Uh, is it okay with Elam?” Matt looked past her again, and Becky twisted around and saw Elam with the same group.
“Why wouldn’t it be?”
Matt shrugged. “I don’t know. I guess I thought you two were a couple. I saw him kiss you that day in your front yard.”
So that’s what was wrong with him. He saw the kiss and made an assumption about her and Elam. “Only on the cheek,” Becky said. “We’re just friends.”
The corner of Matt’s mouth rose a little. “Does he know that? Because I’ve always thought he liked you, more than just friends.”
Becky felt as if she were walking on clouds. Two months ago she never would have been having this conversation with someone like Matt. But now she was thin—or thinner, anyway—and she had not one but two men interested in her.
It felt good. It felt amazing, in fact.
Then it occurred to her that maybe Matt would try harder to win Becky’s affections if he thought Elam was interested too. Maybe a little jealousy could work in her favor.
“Elam would like for us to be more than friends.” She raised her chin a little, fighting the smile that threatened to spread across her face.
“And you don’t?”
There was a sense of urgency in Matt’s voice. Becky felt something inside of her swell with pride.
“As I said, there’s nothing between us at the moment. So if you want me to go check out your goats . . . I just need to finish helping with cleanup.”
“Okay.” Matt grinned. “Meet you back here in thirty minutes?”
Becky nodded and walked back toward the house. She wasn’t quite sure what had just happened, only that she felt taller, thinner, and infinitely more confident than she had a few minutes ago.
Matt pulled the buggy up in front of an empty house, glad that the rest of his family was still at the Bowmans’. He and Becky had managed to sneak away from church without being seen, but the family would be home soon. His six sisters would be all in his business if they saw him with Becky.
They walked past his mother’s garden and toward the barn. “I have them fenced in back here,” he said, pointing. “And this fence is okay. They can’t get their heads stuck, and Daed and I got everything we need for milking.”
“Hi, babies!” Becky called. “Come see me!”
“They know your voice.” Matt smiled as he watched the goats come running. She gave each one an equal amount of attention. “Chester is over there by himself. When should I put them all together?”
Becky didn’t look up from where she was squatting, rubbing Cinde
rella between her horns. “Gestation is five months. This is September, so I’d wait a month so that they’ll deliver in the spring. But Cinderella could be pregnant since I had them all together for a while. I try to time it where they deliver in the spring or fall, but it doesn’t always work out that way.”
“Can you tell if she’s pregnant?” Matt bent down beside Becky.
She took her thumb and first finger and clamped down on either side of the goat’s tail. “When a doe gets to the end of her pregnancy, her tailbone elevates, and the ligaments that connect it to her pelvis stretch.” She reached for his hand. “Feel here.”
She helped him position his fingers. Becky’s hands were soft, and Matt breathed in her aroma, wishing he could bottle it to keep with him all the time. “Her ligaments are firm,” she said. “When she gets close to kidding, they’ll get really soft, and she’ll also hollow out on either side of her tail.”
Becky stood up. “She’s either not with kid, or she has a long way to go,” she said.
“Danki. That will help me know.”
Becky giggled. “They’re tricky, though. One time I showed up to give them feed during the winter, and someone had kidded overnight. I had no idea that she was pregnant, much less that far along.”
“Mamm is happy with the milk. She won’t pet Chester, but I’ve seen her out here with the does. And of course all mei sisters think they’re great.”
“How are plans coming for Marie’s wedding?”
Matt shook his head, grinning. “I don’t know. You tell me. You probably know more about it than I do.” He laughed. “I’ll be glad when this wedding is over and life gets back to normal. Until the next sister gets engaged.”
“You men think all Amish weddings are the same. But every bride fusses over it, just like the Englisch. It’s our special day.”
At that moment Matt pictured himself and Becky standing before their congregation, exchanging vows. It was a premature daydream, but it happened just the same.
“Do you want to have supper with me Saturday night?”
