Afraid of Love: Bid on Love Series Bachelor #8 & Hard to Love Book #1

by Annelise Reynolds

  Afraid to Love

  Bid on Love: Bachelor #8

  Annelise Reynolds

  Contents

  Prologue

  Chapter 1

  Chapter 2

  Chapter 3

  Chapter 4

  Chapter 5

  Chapter 6

  Chapter 7

  Chapter 8

  Chapter 9

  Chapter 10

  Chapter 11

  Chapter 12

  Chapter 13

  Chapter 14

  Chapter 15

  Chapter 16

  Chapter 17

  Chapter 18

  Chapter 19

  Chapter 20

  Chapter 21

  Chapter 22

  Chapter 23

  Chapter 24

  Chapter 25

  Chapter 26

  Chapter 27

  Chapter 28

  Chapter 29

  Chapter 30

  Chapter 31

  Chapter 32

  Epilogue One

  Epilogue Two

  Also by Annelise Reynolds

  Acknowledgments

  About the Author

  To my family both by blood and by choice,

  I love you.

  Prologue

  Sebastian

  “Please. It’s one date, and I need at least one more guy to auction off.” The loud music and the hum of the ink gun aren’t enough to drown out my cousin’s request.

  “Fuck no, Nadine. You’re barking up the wrong damn tree.” I wipe the excess ink from Buzzard’s skin. He is a regular client, and his upper body doesn’t have much blank canvas left. His body is shaking with his suppressed laughter.

  “Keep laughing asshole, and I’ll tattoo a dick where the dragon’s head should be.” The big biker stopped shaking, and I continue working on the coiling dragon, which is going to take up his entire back when I’m done.

  “Come on, Bas. Please.” I look up to see her pouting and begging face staring down at me. Most of the time the look works on me, but she is talking about putting me in a damn tux and selling me to the highest horny bidder. Fuck no to that.

  “Sorry, it isn’t happening’.”

  “I’ll do it.” The big biker looks up at Nadine and grinned.

  “There you go. Buzzard will help you out.” I notch my chin towards the guy in the chair; his body bent over as he straddles the seat.

  “Thanks for the offer, but I need someone I’ve done a story on before.” Nadine’s smile is forced, but she keeps the overly polite voice. My cousin has public relations down to a science. If I didn’t know her better, I’d have thought she was sincere myself.

  “Go home, Nadine. I’ve got clients to see, and you’re wasting both of our time.” I go back to the fire-breathing dragon I spent hours designing for this client.

  “Look, you don’t have to do anything but show up. I’ll plan the date and everything.”

  “It’s not happening.”

  “You are going to make me do it, aren’t you?” She sighs heavily and my jaw clenches, knowing what she is about to do.

  “Don’t you fucking, dare.” I ground out.

  She pulls her phone out and starts to scroll through her contacts. “I didn’t want it to come to this Sebastian. I really didn’t. But, I need you to do this for me. You were my first article, and it helped make Oorah Ink what it is. You owe me.”

  “That article helped your career too, Nadine. Don’t act like it was completely selfless on your part. Plus, I didn’t even want to do the interview, to begin with. As I recall, you begged me to let you do the story. We are even. If anything, you owe me.”

  “I will have to see what Aunt Kathy says.”

  “Dammit, Nadine. Find someone else and leave me alone.”

  “No can do, Sebastian. Now, are you going to do this the easy way, or do I need to make my call?”

  “I hate you.” She smiles, knowing she’s won. If she gets mom involved, mom will be picking out wedding invitations after one date, even if it is bought and paid for. She wants grandkids, and every time I talk to her, she is asking about my relationship status.

  “No, you don’t, but it’s ok as long as you wear a tux and be there at the right time.”

  “Whatever. Get out of here so I can get back to work.”

  “Ok. Don’t worry about a thing. I will plan the date for you—”

  “Hell no. You are not. You’ll pick some fancy, stuffy restaurant that costs an arm and a leg. And, I will still be hungry afterward. Fuck that. I’ll plan my own damn date.”

  She sighs, “Please make sure it’s something a woman would actually want to do.”

  “Hey, if no one bids it is fine by me.”

  “You’re an ass.”

  “Takes one to know one. We get it from our moms. Now scram.”

  She heads towards the door but calls back over her shoulder, “Don’t forget to shave the dead cat off your chin. Seriously, it looks like it’s grown another two inches since last week.”

  “The beard stays. If you don’t get out of here, I’m going to call the cops and have them remove you.”

  “Fine. I’ll call you later for the details on your date.”

  “Can’t wait.” Sarcasm drips from my voice, but she can’t hear it because she is already out the door.

  “Your cousin’s hot,” Buzzard says as I settle back in to work on his piece.

  “It’s not too late for me to make this fire-breathing dragon into a cum spurting cock,” I warn, and he shuts up, dropping all subjects regarding my pain in the ass cousin.

  Chapter 1

  Sebastian

  “Here. Have some wine.” My cousin says as she pushes a glass of red wine into my hand. I look at the dark red liquid and curl my lip in disgust.

  “Is there any beer or whiskey around here?” I groaned.

  “Considering it’s a winery, I’d say no. Suck it up buttercup and stop grumbling like a baby.”

  “I’ll grumble if I damn well want. You’ve got me in a fucking suit.” I pull on the collar of the shirt because the bow tie is making it impossibly tight.

  “Stop fidgeting, or you will wrinkle it. I thought you were going to shave the dead cat from your face?”

  “Hey, don’t knock the beard. And, I never agreed to that. I trimmed it. Be happy I did that much.”

  She rolls her eyes. “Is your date all set up?”

  I roll my eyes and count to ten in my head before answering her. Nadine and I grew up down the street from each other. We’ve always been close and giving each other a hard time is entertainment for us. She really didn’t have to call my mom to get me in the damn auction. I’d have done it because she asked--eventually. I needed to make her fight for it and fight she did—dirty—just like I taught her.

  “Yes. Sunday evening before sunset. I’ll take whatever desperate housewife bids on me parasailing.”

  Nadine almost spewed her wine, “Parasailing? Are you shitting me, Sebastian? No wonder you dodged my damn phone calls. You couldn’t pick something a little more universal?”

  I shrug. If I’m going to do this, I’ll damn sure do something I’m going to get some enjoyment out of,

  it won’t be the same as skydiving, but still a rush. If nobody bids, then so be it. I will get to save some money and won’t have to sacrifice my time on Sunday to take a stranger out.

  “It’s my date. What they see is what they get. I don’t do fine china and romantic picnics. If they want fun and excitement, then they can bid on me.”

  “This is su
pposed to be for a charity your goober. At least try to get them a little money. My friend who did my hair and makeup is here and has her bags. Let me get her to tame the dead cat and fix your hair.”

  “Quit calling it that Nadine. It’s a fucking beard. If they don’t like it, they can bid on another guy. It’s not like there aren’t plenty to choose from. I’m not changing who I’m for a bunch of women, who won’t remember a thing about me after this auction. Plus, I donated a damn tattoo to make up, if no one bids on me. Which means you got me twice.”

  “Gah, you are so damn frustrating. First, one guy bails on me. Then I’ve got you looking like a damn Sasquatch.”

  “I can leave, Cuz. Say the word, and I’m out of here.” Nadine sends me a scathing look, before going to do her duties as host of this damn party. I roll my neck and shoulders, trying to ease the tension between them.

  “Welcome ladies and gentlemen to tonight’s auction benefiting Healing Heroes…” She continues her welcome speech, playing to the crowd like the magnetic personality she is. My cousin has them hanging on her every word and ready to start throwing money her way. By, the time she calls up the first sucker being auctioned off. I wonder how these schmucks got roped into doing this because I know I sure as shit didn’t want to be. Nadine is my cousin and one of my best friends, so I’m in a monkey suit.

  I shake my head as the women go crazy as the first guy comes to the stage. He steps up and plays the crowd of women, eating up the spotlight and the attention like a masked rock star. Better him than me. I sit the wine Nadine gave me, down on a table and move away from the stage.

  The wine is flowing and as the bidding continues; the women get louder, laugh harder, and loosen up. I watch as a bidding war goes on for one of the bachelors until the auctioneer said ‘sold.’

  “Last, but not least Ladies.” I hear Nadine say into the mic.

  “Don’t let the facial fur full you; this guy is quite a catch. He was my first human interest story for the paper.” She informs the ladies.

  I clench my fists at my side and go out onto the stage, with my mask covering the top half of my face and my beard hiding the bottom. I don’t wave at the women or crack a smile. Instead, I stand there with my arms crossed and stare at the back wall. If it weren’t for my beard, they’d see my jaw clenched so tight it is causing my teeth to ache.

  Nadine explains the date I’d set up, and the auctioneer opens the bid at a hundred bucks. I bite my lip to keep from laughing at the silence that has descended upon the room. Instead, I maintain my irate look and refuse to scan the crowd of women at the tables.

  “One hundred.” I roll my neck, trying to ease the tension and exposing the tattoos. Maybe if they see I’m covered in ink, they would think twice before bidding. It seems to have the opposite effect because another voice calls out one fifty. I just want it to be over with and be out of here.

  The bids keep coming in, and I’m about ready to jump off the stage. Nadine owes me big for this.

  “Going once, going twice. Sold to bidder one thirty-four for six hundred and fifty dollars. That concludes our bachelor auction for tonight. Make sure you head to the tables to bid on the items there.” The announcer says.

  I’d tuned him out; and despite my resolve not to, I look down at the crowd of women to find bidder number one thirty-four. If she is in the group, I can’t tell. Women are in line to pay the cashier, and others are bidding on items at the tables. The other bachelors are standing with the women who presumably bid on them, their masks no longer hiding their faces from the room. But there is no woman looking for me or seeking me out.

  “Nadine,” I call out to her as she is walking towards the cashier table.

  “Hey.” She smiles and moves towards me.

  “Am I good to go? Will you call me with the winner’s info?”

  “Yes. I’ll send you a text later.”

  “Thanks. You did a good thing—annoying but good.” I hug her and leave. The night is still early, and maybe I can get a few tattoos sketched out, for my appointments the following week.

  Chapter 2

  Jaci

  “You did what?” My voice rises a few octaves when Kaiya tells me what she has done. She is my twin sister and best friend, but that also makes her a royal pain in the ass.

  “It’s time Jai.” She shortens my name to calm me, but it fails miserably. I’m on the verge of a panic attack at what she has done.

  “I’m not going, Kaiya. You can go. You bid as me so you can go as me.”

  “I can’t. I have a wedding this weekend, and you are going. Sebastian is former military and Nadine’s cousin. You should be fine.”

  “I should be fine. Really? That’s what you’re going with—I should be fine.”

  “Josh was crazy, and that’s why you broke up with him, Jaci. You can’t spend the rest of your life hiding from people.” Kaiya knew better than anyone what I’d gone through. After the attack, my dad moved us to Norfolk away from a life, which now seems so long ago.

  “I’m not ready.” I try to deny while shaking my head as fear churns in my gut. Rainbow, my dog, puts her head on my knee because she senses my need for her comfort. Kaiya is still moving around the kitchen cooking breakfast as if she hadn’t just ripped open an old wound.

  “You will never be ready if you don’t try, Jaci. I love you, and you are my sister, but you’re stifling yourself in this house by not getting out. Even your writing is being blocked because of it.” She states truthfully.

  She is correct. But I’m damned if I will admit she is right. I haven’t published a book in over a year, and my fans are waiting for the next in the series. Josh getting out has completely fucked with my head. Though I’m now two states away from where we grew up, and there is no way he can link, JK Carmichael to Jaci Michaels.

  “It will come back,” I say stubbornly. It’s more of a hope, rather than a certainty the words will come.

  I’ve been a bookworm all my life. I couldn’t get enough happy endings and fairy tales. While my sister was into sports and boys, I was into books and the men that were flawed to perfection. The way a writer can take a man, who is an ass in real life and make you fall in love with him in the fictional world,

  it is incredible. Taking someone, who is utterly broken and making them whole and healed with love. It was my dream to create those characters, a dream I had achieved, until recently.

  It was my senior year of high school when everything in my life changed. Josh was the star quarterback of the football team, and everyone expected great things for and from him. He was only a blip on my radar, until the day he talked to me. I never noticed or cared about him and apparently, that got his attention. He wanted the one girl, who wasn’t throwing herself at his feet. He was cocky and confident and pushed until I finally said yes.

  We had been going out for a few months when I started to notice things. If I went to the movies with my sister or a girlfriend, he would show up. I was shopping for a banquet dress with my mom and ran into him at the mall. He needed me at every football game, even though I didn’t understand the sport and had little interest in it. It wasn't enough for me to be at the game, but I had to be watching.

  I took a library book with me once, and he was pissed I was reading, instead of watching him play. It ended up with me having to pay for the book because he “accidentally” ripped the cover when he took it from my hands. He was subtle about it, and if I brought it up, he made me feel like I was crazy and imagining things.

  The week before senior prom I decided I had, had enough. We were driving, and I was singing along to the radio. The music was relaxing, and I smiled as I sang the lyrics. For whatever reason, Josh flipped out because the song mentioned cheating. He was convinced I’d cheated on him because I smiled during the catchy song. He was yelling and calling me every name in the book, even some I’d never heard before. I was shocked and hurt he thought so little of me.

  When we got to my house, I told him I was done. We were over, an
d he needed to leave. He followed me out of the car and up to the house. He apologized, but it didn’t matter how “sorry” he was. I wasn’t ever going out with him again.

  Josh grabbed my arms and pulled me close. His lips slammed into mine in a bruising kiss. I struggled hard against his hold, but he was a football player, and I was a bookworm. He had the height, mass, and strength to overpower me.

  He eventually let me pull back, and when I did, I slapped him. Anger clouded his face, and he shoved me back. My feet tangled, and I fell hitting the back of my head on the brick steps. He left me there bleeding and injured. Kaiya and mom came home to find me being loaded into the back of an ambulance. Our neighbor had called 911 when she saw I was laying on the steps unconscious.

  I shake my head and the memories away. There is no use in looking back at what was, but at the same time, I feel frozen and unable to move forward. Six months ago, I was ready to start living again, but then I found out Josh is getting out early for good behavior. That is when the fear took hold of me, and I felt myself slipping backward.

  “Please try, Jaci.” She said as she puts a big plate of biscuits and gravy in front of me.

  “I’m scared, Kai,” I whisper as her hands grasp mine.

  “I know, but the only one standing between you and having a real life is you. It is one date. It’s not a lifetime commitment. I only want you to have some fun and see that not all men are like him, Jai. He’s Nadine’s cousin. I wouldn’t set you up with just anyone.” She declares.