Afraid of Love: Bid on Love Series Bachelor #8 & Hard to Love Book #1

by Annelise Reynolds

  I stop writing and look at Sebastian as he sits drawing at his table. His mornings always seems slow, where his afternoons and evenings are booked. I don’t care when the men come through the door, but when women come in to get piercings or tattoos, it bugs me more than I care to admit. I hate the way they look at him, because if I can see the hunger in their eyes where he is concerned, so can he.

  “You’re staring.” He doesn’t even look up from what he is drawing, but he knows my eyes are on him.

  “Well, can’t blame a girl for enjoying the scenery.” I lean back and lace my fingers together behind my head, stretching my arms and shoulders. My words bring his head up and around. I smile sweetly, and his eyes take on a whole new glint.

  “I thought you were writing.” His voice is husky and seductive.

  “I was, but I’m at a scene that has me a little stuck.” I draw in a deep breath, “I’m gathering some inspiration.”

  “By staring.” He grins.

  “Yep. Eye candy always helps. Why look up photos on the internet when I can just turn my chair around?” I drop my arms from behind my head and grip the armrests. He is up and walking towards me slowly with a sexy intent written on his face.

  The look he is giving me has my body responding. I thought other authors were exaggerating when they write about a smoldering look that melts panties. Nope. No exaggeration here, my panties are all but incinerated by the hungry fire in his eyes.

  He isn’t rushed or hurried when he stalks me, so I get up and take off running around the desk to the lobby. Sebastian gives chase as I run around the chairs and coffee table. I run back around him and into the parlor where he works. We are on opposite sides grinning at each other in a stare down. He fakes like he is going to go right, but I anticipate the false move and dodge his arms.

  Sebastian is letting me evade him for now. It’s a game I’m happy to play. If he wants to catch me, he can at any moment. There’s no way I can outmaneuver a Marine, that out muscles and outweighs me by a hundred pounds. He is waiting for our game of cat and mouse to play out.

  I’m laughing as I take off towards the back room. I know Bas’ office is a trap, so I run into the back room where I’d seen him take clients. There is a table, almost like ones you’d see at a doctor’s office in the middle of the room. There is a sink on one side and a cabinet above. He has a rolling table set up against the far wall that has a tattoo gun set up. It is all neat and orderly.

  When I open the door, I slow down enough that Sebastian comes up behind me and his body gently propels mine forward towards the table. I feel him hard against my back, and he buries his nose in my neck. My head tilts to the side resting back on his shoulder. His deep breath, hard body, and the heat radiating between us has my body ready and eager for more of what we’d done this morning.

  “Tonight, we’re going out. You need to wear something,” Bas takes a deep breath, inhaling my scent again then pushes his hips against my back. “Sexy.” He kisses the fluttering pulse in my neck. God, I had no clue that my neck is so damn sensitive, until Sebastian.

  “Where are we going?”

  “I figured you’d want to experience a few things like being picked up at a nightclub or bar. I’ll text you the address, and you’re going to meet me there tonight at nine-thirty. Go to the bar, order a drink, and wait for me to come to you.” He could’ve told me to do anything at that point, and I’d have agreed to it. “Now,” He continues. “Enough, Jaci. We’ve got work to do. If you keep it up,” He moves his hips against me letting me know just what he meant by ‘up,’ “I’m going to show you exactly how distracting I can be. And trust me, baby, my distractions will make you ache.” His words are grave and full of pent up lust. There is no doubt in my mind that Sebastian can make my body ache because I already feel it from the tips of my breasts to the fluttering in my core.

  Chapter 21

  Sebastian

  My balls feel like they are about to burst. Our little game of cat and mouse is arousing as hell. It is taking everything in me not to bend her over that table, peel down those skinny jeans, and shove my dick in her.

  She isn’t ready for that, no matter how much I’m. I go back to my drawing table, and she goes back to her desk. It’s funny how quickly that desk became hers, but it is. She is quiet for a while; I don’t hear the steady clicking of the keyboard that says she is lost in her story.

  I need to give her space, time to think, and time for her frustration to boil like mine. She isn’t in a hurry to write any more than I’m in a hurry to get back to sketching, but I push down my need and force myself to work on the tattoo I’m sketching for her.

  It isn’t long before clients start coming in and Jaci is typing away at whatever world she is creating. I find it funny that someone so set apart and shy about the world is writing about bikers.

  Jaci has no clue she’ll be getting a dose of reality tonight. The bar she is going to is a local hangout for the Vindictive Bastards MC. None of the brothers will touch her, but they’d want to. She is clueless about her own appeal. Tonight will be a lesson she won’t soon forget and hopefully get me one step closer to breaking her walls down for good.

  My cell rings pulling me away from the sketch I’m working on, “Buzzard,” I say quietly getting up and moving to the back room.

  “The girls know to be on their best behavior tonight. The brothers do too.”

  “No. The only thing they need to be discreet about is sex. Other than that, it’s a normal night. She’s got to find out sooner rather than later about my life. I’d rather get this over with now.”

  “You’re serious about her Prez?”

  “Yes. If any of the brothers want to go flirt with her, they can. Buy her a drink or shoot the shit, but any appendage they lay on her, and I’ll break the damn thing off. Make sure that’s damn clear Buzzard. Not one fucking finger touches her.”

  “You want us to hit on your woman, but not touch her, got it. I’ll let the brothers know. The women aren’t going to be happy you’re serious about someone. Giselle’s been coming around since you gave her those piercings. She wants in the club with the women.”

  “I don’t give a fuck. She can hang out with the whores all she wants, but I’m out for the time being. Jaci may run the other direction when she finds out just what she’s getting herself involved with.”

  “You might want to have Hollywood come to the bar. It might make her more comfortable.”

  “Maybe. I’ll shoot him a text.” Unfortunately, Buzzard is right. Hollywood always seems to make women more comfortable. Hopefully, he will make Jaci feel at ease since she’s already met him.

  I hung up with Buzzard and go back to work. The club is the other part of my life. We aren’t into anything threatening for an outlaw club. Drugs and guns aren’t a part of our business. We are merely there to be a family, an outlet, and a layer of protection from other groups of the same size and kind.

  Women come into the group looking for protection and safety. Sometimes they find something real, other times they are satisfied with sex and being taken care of, the men are all ex-military. They want the brotherhood and bond that they found in the service in civilian life. It's a give and take lifestyle. We all have our lives outside the club. The only time we fight is with each other in the ring or protecting each other. We're Vindictive Bastards because what’s ours is ours and if you fuck with it we will die to avenge it. It is an oath like the ones we gave our country and our brothers.

  The bell over the door chimes as Popeye comes in. I close my eyes hoping he won’t open his mouth about me being Prez. I’ve already spread the word through Buzzard that until further notice, I’m Bas.

  “Hey, Bash. I want to get that tattoo we talked about the other day.”

  “Let me see what’s on the schedule.” Popeye follows me to the lobby. Jaci looks up and scoots the chair back away from us.

  Popeye is a gym rat and health nut. Most of the guys work out because it kept us in shape. He work
s out because he loves it and it gives him a high. When he got out of the service, he used his scholarships to go back to school to get a degree in nutrition and certification as a personal trainer.

  “Jaci, this is Popeye,” I smirk at her response to him. If I didn’t know she wanted me, I’d probably be jealous of her reaction to him. He and Hollywood are always in competition when it comes to picking up women.

  “Like, the sailor or the chicken?” She looks at him as her eyes go down to his cut it sees his name patch.

  “The sailor, Sweetheart. Spinach over fried chicken any day.” He winks at her, and she grins. “If Bash here didn’t have his eye on you, I might make you my Olive.”

  “Knock it off asshole, or I’ll make you go somewhere else for your ink.”

  “Ah, come on Bash.” He grins down at Jaci, and I clench my fist. “The lady has to know she’s got better-looking options out there.”

  “The lady’s made a choice Popeye.” Jaci stands beside me and considers my brother. The way she looks at him like she is deciding on something has me on edge. “I’m not your Olive, but I do have a proposition for you.”

  What the actual fuck? “It better not be the proposition you gave me or I’ll gut the fucker, before he so much as lays a lip, on you.”

  She touches my arm to calm me, and if it were anyone else, it wouldn’t have worked. Jaci’s soft touch soothes something inside me. It eases the rage I feel thinking about her with any man but me.

  “I’m a writer, Popeye. My readers love man candy on their covers, and they would go crazy over you. If you’re interested in another form of income, I know several authors that would love to put you on a cover, myself included.”

  Popeye laughed, “Model? I’m no model.”

  “You may be surprised. Here, take a look at these.” She grabs her phone and pulls up book covers from her social media account. All of them are guys with lots of muscles and tattoos. Popeye would fit in among the covers. “The photographer could get the right image from you. I promise.”

  “You’re serious.”

  “Oh yes. Here, may I take a selfie with you?” Popeye looks over her head at me seeking permission. Grudgingly I nod. Jaci has no idea the restraint it is taking for me to let her get close enough to him for that photo.

  She takes a smiling selfie with the two of them and posts it on social media with the caption: Hanging out with my new friend and he doesn’t think he can pass for a cover model. She puts in an eye-rolling emoji. Who’d like to see him on a cover? Authors, who’d love to use him on a cover?

  “Now we wait.” She turns the phone off and goes to the small fridge to get Popeye a bottle of water. “Before you finish this, I bet you there will probably be at least twenty-five comments from authors and fans wanting to see you on a cover.”

  “I can chug this in two seconds, Sweetheart.”

  “Chug away.” Popeye opens the water and downs it without taking a breath. When he finishes, Jaci brings her social media page back up to thirty-eight responses. Heart emojis, drool stickers, and ‘Hell Yeah in abundance.

  Popeye shakes his head and laughs, “If you decide you’d like to do it, I’d like to be your first cover. I’ll get you set up with the right photographer and get you into the world. Once you’re in its kind of crazy, but it’s a great community.”

  I wonder if my brother will go through with this. I also wonder why she didn’t ask me to be part of her world in this way. Jealousy hits me hard. It isn’t something I’m using to feel, but I feel it like a ton of bricks.

  “I’ll think on it. Bash, we’ll talk later about an open appointment.” Popeye must’ve sensed my rising anger because he takes off like a bat out of hell.

  The second Popeye is out the door I turn Jaci until her back is against the wall and I’m pinning her between me and the hard surface. “You like the way he looks?” My voice is lower and gruff. If she didn’t sense the anger and jealousy in me before, she could see it clearly now.

  “He’s a good-looking guy.” Her voice wavers.

  “It doesn’t matter how he looks, Jaci. He will never touch you.” Confusion crosses her face, and it settles me. She honestly didn’t know.

  “I don’t want him to.” God, she pleases me.

  “Good.” I cup her cheek and tilt her head back before kissing her hungrily. She sighs against my mouth, immediately melting at my touch. She is primed for me, not for Popeye. I break the kiss, “I’m not worth putting on a cover baby, but you melt for me.” I try to kiss her again, but she turns her head away.

  “Holy shit, Sebastian. Is that what you thought?” She starts laughing, and my ego deflates a bit more. “I’d put you on a cover any day, Sebastian. You are more than worthy of gracing a cover or two or ten. I just don’t want to share you with everyone else.” She shrugs, but I don’t let her pull away this time. I crowd her harder against the wall and kiss her breathless.

  It isn’t until the door chimes with my next client coming in that I let her go. “To be continued…” I whisper against her lips leaving her with the promise of so much more.

  Chapter 22

  Jaci

  He said sexy, so I raid Kaiya’s closet again. She isn’t home, so I did my best to figure out what will constitute as seductive when I’ve no idea where the heck we are going.

  I shower, shave, and fix my hair as best I can. Honestly, I’ve been wanting to chop it off because Kaiya is good with fixing long hair. I know how to blow dry and brush it, but that is the extent of my skills set with long wavy locks. The only way to control the frizz without my sister is to braid my hair. I’ve gotten really good at doing that over the years.

  With my hair braided tightly down my back, I put light makeup on. A little mascara, eyeliner, and gloss. My panties are black with hot pink polka dots. Not overly sexy, but it works. I put on the matching bra and slip into the slinky black tank top with the scoop neck and wiggle into the tight short red skirt.

  “Holy shit Kai,” I speak to the empty room. “This skirt needs some more fucking fabric.” It barely reaches the middle of my thighs, and it hugs my hips like a second skin.

  I’m about to change out of it, but Kaiya comes into the room and scares the shit out of me.

  “Where are you headed?” She grins, seeing me in her clothes.

  “Shit. Back to your closet to find the rest of this skirt. If I bend over to pick anything up, my ass will show.”

  She laughs, “Don’t bend over. Make the guy pick up what you drop. It lets them get an up close and personal view of your legs anyway.”

  “I’m so out of my element here.” I moan and cover my face. “You want to come with me?”

  “Where?”

  “I’m meeting Sebastian at a bar called Tailpipe.”

  “Be serious.” She laughs. “Jaci, that’s a biker bar.”

  “That’s where Sebastian told me to go.” My stomach twists, “Maybe I should text him I’m not feeling well.”

  “No. Stop playing it safe Jai. You’ve done so well. Better than I could’ve imagined when I won that date for you. I’m so proud of you for putting yourself out there.” She bites her lip. “This one does worry me though. Maybe I should go with you. Just until I can make sure you’re safe with Sebastian.”

  I jump on the offer, so I text Sebastian I’m running a few minutes late and will be there shortly. My fingers hover over my phone debating if I should tell him I’m bringing Kaiya with me. I decided against it just to see how it will mess with his plans for tonight. The way he told me to wait at the bar makes it feel like he plans to leave me sitting there alone for a while, and I want a safety net.

  “Wear the skirt Jai. I’ll grab the shoes you should wear with it. Sebastian won’t be able to keep his eyes or hands off you.”

  I laugh if only Kaiya knew how little Bas could keep his hands off me even in my jeans and tee shirts. Kaiya leaves the room and comes back with a pair of strappy stilettos that have straps crisscrossing all the way up the foot and wrap arou
nd the ankle. They are hot, what I’d describe as fuck me shoes in a book.

  Thank goodness one of my girly habits is regular pedicures because these shoes deserve pretty toenails. While Kaiya is showering and getting dressed, I repaint the soft pink nails a vibrant red to match the skirt.

  “Kaiya,” I call out when I hear her shower turn off. “We need to hurry.” I slip into the shoes and practice walking. It’s been a while since I wore shoes this high.

  “Almost ready!”

  “I hate you!” I yell back, and she just laughs.

  “Yeah, yeah. I’ve heard that before.” She says walking into the room. Her makeup is light, but she doesn’t need much with her outfit doing all the talking.

  “Why didn’t I grab the leather pants?” I groan. My sister looks hot in black leather pants and a strapless purple and black corset. The sweetheart top shows off her breasts by accenting the swells. Neither one of us is overly gifted in that area, we have a handful, but the top makes her boobs look fantastic.

  “Let me do your hair really quick. Then we’ll go.” I close my eyes and try to push my insecurities away. Next, to her, I feel like a failure at being a woman. She says the right things, does the right things and knows how and what to wear for every occasion. Hair, makeup, shoes, she knows and cares about all of that stuff.

  To me, those things never mattered. I wanted to read about love, lust, deceit, murder, intrigue… I wanted to live in a world beyond our own. To escape reality in the pages of a book and to belong somewhere, because I never felt like I belonged in my own world. It is a small irony that our hometown is Happy Endings, South Carolina. I ended up writing stories with the happily ever after and the town itself brings me anything but happiness.

  For the first time in a long time, I want the happy ending for myself.