Danny Danger and the Cosmic Remote

by Adam Frost

  Eric did a double take as Danny was suddenly standing in a different part of the room.

  “Here,” said Danny, striding towards Eric with the letter in his hand.

  Eric started to read.

  “You wrote it in the future,” said Danny. “Of course, it’s not the future any more,” he added.

  When Eric had finished reading, his eyes were glazed and his mouth was wide open.

  “It’s no wonder that the Night Scientist wants your remote,” he said. “It’s absolutely amazing. Hey, you know what you could do. You could be like a superhero. Helping people out when they’re in trouble.You know, say you see someone falling off a building. You could pause time, fetch a big mattress, push the mattress into place, press Play, and – hey presto – the person lands on the mattress.”

  “Yeah –” said Danny, with a smile.

  “Hey! That’s what we should do today,” Eric continued. “We should go round town, helping people. You know, when something bad happens, you rewind time and try to stop it. It’ll be brilliant!”

  Danny thought about this. It would certainly be more fun than hiding in a tree somewhere, waiting for Uncle Charlie to call.

  “OK,” he said.

  Eric cheered. “Let’s head for the high street,” he said. “It’s Sunday so it’ll be pretty busy.”

  “Sure,” said Danny.

  Eric picked up his robot. “I’m going to take Magnus with me. He’ll definitely want to see this!”

  Danny and Eric walked to the end of their street, turned right and headed towards the town centre. Danny told Eric a bit more about the things he had done with his remote: pausing his parents, recording his sister, rewinding his teacher.

  They had only been walking for five minutes when Eric saw an old lady who was trying to cross a busy road.

  “Hey, look at her,” he said. “Why not press Pause, stop all the cars and move her across the road?”

  Danny looked up at the traffic. “It might freak her out.You know, suddenly appearing on the other side of the street?”

  Eric replied, “She’ll be OK. She’s old, isn’t she? She’ll just think it’s one of those things.”

  Danny smiled. “All right,” he said.

  He pressed Pause and everything froze.

  He walked over to the old lady and tugged her sleeve, just to check she couldn’t see or feel anything. At the same time, he realised that he had never tried to move an actual person when they were paused. He wondered if it would be the same as moving an object.

  Danny stood alongside the old lady and put his arms round her waist. He tried lifting her straight up, but she didn’t budge. He leaned back and tried again, but she still wouldn’t move. Finally, he bent his legs and heaved with all his might. She moved, slowly at first, and then more quickly. It was like pulling a plant up by the roots.

  Danny decided that people must be more securely fixed in time than objects, and much harder to wrench out of place.

  That said, now the old lady was off the ground, she was surprisingly light. Danny looked across the street and saw that there was a clear line to the other side of the road, in between the frozen cars and motorbikes.

  He lifted the old lady up as high as he could, so she was like a rolled-up carpet resting on his shoulder. Then he ran towards the opposite kerb, tottering wildly, moving quickly, then slowly, then forwards, then backwards, until he reached the other side of the road and put her down with an awkward plonk. The old lady wobbled for a few seconds, then settled into her place.

  He ran back across the street and stood next to Eric. He pressed Play.

  Eric came back to life. “Wow! You did it!’ he exclaimed.

  The old lady looked up in surprise, then shrugged, and shuffled off down the road.

  “See, I told you she’d take it in her stride,” said Eric. “Come on, let’s help someone else.”

  They reached the high street five minutes later. The shops had just opened, and the pavements were already full of people.

  “Look over there,” said Eric, pointing across to the other side of the street.

  A woman was struggling down the road with a large birthday cake balanced in her arms. She tripped on a paving stone, the cake flew though the air, flipped over twice and landed with a whoomph on a man coming out of a shop. The man looked stunned for a few seconds, then quietly began to wipe cake out of his eyes, pull it out of his hair and brush it off his shoulders. He pulled a birthday candle out of his nose.

  The woman stammered at the man, “I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry.” She whimpered to herself, “My daughter’s cake. My daughter’s cake.”

  “Hey, you catch the cake,” said Eric. “I’ll get the man out of the way.”

  “OK,” said Danny with a smile. He pressed Rewind and then Play.

  Eric and he were about to turn into the high street.

  “Eric,” said Danny. “See that woman carrying a cake over there? In about thirty seconds she’s going to trip over and she’ll throw the cake at a man coming out of a shop. You have to get the man out of the way, I’ll catch the cake.

  “This was your idea by the way,” he added.

  “Cool, so you just rewound everything?” Eric asked.

  Danny nodded.

  The two boys scampered across the road.

  They walked in step with the lady carrying the cake for a few seconds and then, when she tripped, Eric ran one way and Danny ran the other. Eric leapt into the shop doorway and pushed the man out of the way.

  “What in heaven’s name…?” the man exclaimed, but then he realised what was happening.

  Danny was standing underneath the cake, moving a little to the left, then a little to the right.

  The cake twirled through the air. He took a few steps backwards and moved his legs apart so they were planted firmly on the ground. The cake was plummeting fast. Danny held his arms straight out in front of him and closed his eyes. The cake dropped like a stone and landed neatly in Danny’s outstretched arms, sending a little cloud of icing sugar up into the air and squirting a small blob of cream on to the pavement.

  “Oh, thank you, boys, thank you,” said the woman.

  “Yes, well done, lads,” said the man. “Well spotted.You must have eyes like a hawk.”

  “No problem, mister,” said Eric.

  Danny handed the birthday cake to the lady, straightening one of the candles. “There you go,” he said.

  Eric and Danny walked away, grinning broadly.

  “This is great,” said Eric. “We’ll soon be the most popular boys in town!”

  “I wonder if there’ll be any other accidents like that,” said Danny. “It’s not like people throw cakes around every day.”

  “Something will happen,” said Eric. “Grown-ups are always falling over and dropping things. Haven’t you noticed?”

  Just as Danny was about to answer, a strange sequence of events unfolded.A man opened the door of his car into the road.A woman on a bike swerved to avoid him and ended up riding on to the pavement. A flock of pigeons flew out of her way, straight into the path of a young man pushing an old man in a wheelchair.The young man let go of the wheelchair to bat the pigeons out of his eyes. The wheelchair trundled down the pavement and headed for a group of workmen who were digging a hole in the road. One of the workmen turned round just as he was knocked into the hole by the wheelchair.

  The workman landed on a water pipe at the bottom of the hole, breaking it open and sending a jet of white spray into the air. This hit the bottom of the wheelchair. The old man clung on tightly as he was lifted ten metres off the ground. He landed with a clunk on top of a passing van, which veered off the road and hit a tree. The tree toppled over and crashed through the roof of the local church. Beams and bricks from the roof dropped on to the pavement and knocked over a set of traffic lights. Cars began to shunt into each other, a shop window shattered and fire-engine sirens wailed in the distance.

  “Blimey,” said Danny, blinking in disbelief.r />
  “It’s lucky we’re here,” said Eric, staring at the church roof.

  “Really lucky,” said Danny.

  “Unbelievably lucky,” he added, as an old lady ran screaming past them.

  Danny pressed Rewind. He walked over to the shop where Eric and he had caught the cake. When Eric was in position, he pressed Play.

  “—we’ll soon be the most popular boys in town,” Eric was saying.

  “Hey, Eric, you’re never going to believe this,” said Danny. He explained to Eric how a man was going to open a car door and cause a bike to veer off course and soon the whole high street would be a disaster area.

  “Wow,” said Eric. “Part of me really wants to see that.”

  “It’s pretty grim though,” said Danny.

  “So all we have to do is stop that man opening his car door?” said Eric.

  Danny nodded.

  Eric ran over to the car and tapped on the passenger door window.

  The man in the car frowned, leaned over and wound down the window.

  “Be careful when you open your door, mister,” said Eric.

  “Why of course I will, you cheeky rascal!” the man huffed.

  He turned round and went to open his door. A cyclist whipped past him.

  “See what I mean,” said Eric.

  “Mmm, yes, I suppose that was close,” the man muttered. “Cyclists are such a nuisance,” he added, as if it wasn’t really his fault after all.

  Eric returned to Danny’s side. All was calm and quiet on the high street.

  “If only they knew, eh?” Eric said.

  7

  STOP

  “Let’s keep helping people,” said Eric. “We can make sure nothing bad ever happens. It’ll be brilliant.”

  At that point, his face fell.

  “What’s up?” Danny asked.

  Eric nodded towards the newsagent’s. Mia had just walked out.

  “Oh, it’s OK,” said Danny. “I don’t mind Mia at the moment.”

  “You don’t mind her?” asked Eric.

  Danny explained. “No, she really helped out last night, when the Night Scientist attacked me.You remember I told you about her coming downstairs with the torch.”

  “Oh. Right,” replied Eric, unconvinced.

  Mia walked over to where Danny and Eric were standing. She gave Eric a weak smile.

  “You OK?” she asked Danny.

  “Yeah,” said Danny. “You OK?”

  “Mmm,” said Mia.

  “I told Eric,” said Danny. “You know, about the remote, and the man attacking us and everything.”

  “Oh, OK,” said Mia.

  Danny told Mia about the letter from Roxie and Jasper and what he had discovered about the Night Scientist.

  “Shouldn’t you be somewhere safe?” said Mia. “Instead of out in broad daylight?”

  “I don’t think the Night Scientist will show his face until, er, night,” said Danny. “Anyway, guess what? Me and Eric are helping people.We just caught a cake. And stopped a tree from falling down.”

  “What do you mean?” asked Mia.

  So Danny told Mia about how they had paused time, and rewound time, and stopped bad things from happening.

  “That does sound pretty cool,” she admitted.

  “You’re not going to let her join in, are you?” whispered Eric.

  Mia scowled at Eric.

  “She is my sister,” said Danny.

  “But she’s mean,” said Eric. “Really mean.”

  “She’s changed,” said Danny. “Haven’t you, Mia?”

  Mia shrugged. “Not massively,” she said.

  “I told you!” said Eric.

  “Look, don’t worry about it,” said Mia. “If I’d wanted to hang out with nerds in my spare time, I’d have joined the chess club. Danny, I’ll see you at home maybe.”

  Danny nodded. “OK,” he said. “Bye.”

  As Mia walked away, Eric exclaimed, “Look at this massive puddle, Danny.”

  Danny turned round.

  “That bus is heading straight for it. All those people are going to get soaked,” said Eric.

  Sure enough, a bus ploughed through a puddle in the road, sending a sheet of water on to the pavement and drenching half a dozen people that were queuing outside the baker’s.

  “Press Rewind and warn them!” Eric said.

  “Oh – yeah,” mumbled Danny, gathering his thoughts. “OK.”

  However, before Danny had the chance to press Rewind, he heard footsteps behind him and felt an arm grabbing his shoulder. It was Mia.

  “Danny, up there!” she said breathlessly, pointing up at the sky.

  Danny looked up and saw a flock of birds hovering below the clouds. He was about to ask Mia what the problem was, when he noticed that they seemed to be parrots and toucans, with bright multicoloured plumage and curved beaks.

  “Something funny’s going on,” said Mia. “There’s no way you’d normally see birds like that in England.”

  The birds seemed to be descending.

  “It’s got to be the Night Scientist,” said Mia. “You know, like the mice from last night. And the fish you saw in the park. Those birds can’t be real.”

  “Crumbs,” said Eric.

  “Let’s walk as quickly as we can back to the house,” said Mia.

  “Let’s go to my house,” suggested Eric. “My parents aren’t mad like yours.”

  “OK, fine,” said Mia. “But let’s go.”

  They strode down the high street as quickly as they could.

  Eric glanced sadly at a cat stuck up a tree, regretting that they couldn’t stop and help – just for a minute or two. Then he spotted a man chasing after a bus – it was a shame they couldn’t Rewind time and help him too.

  But Mia was right – the birds did look strange. They’d have to help people later.

  The three children turned left off the high street. The birds seemed to swerve to the left too. The three children began to walk more quickly. The birds began to flap their wings more strongly too.

  In fact, whenever the children made a movement on the ground – turning left or right, going up a hill or following a footpath, the birds seemed to imitate them, tilting gently to one side or the other, dropping or rising slightly.

  The three children turned into their street. Eric’s house was on the right, Danny and Mia’s was further down the road on the left.

  “OK,” said Mia. “Into Eric’s house.”

  “Mia,” said Danny.

  “We’ll hide out till they’ve gone,” said Mia.

  “Mia!” said Danny.

  “What is it?” asked Mia impatiently.

  “Look,” said Danny, and pointed straight ahead.

  There, in the middle of the road, the birds had landed.They were six metallic parrots, with glittering crystal eyes, fibreglass feathers and iron claws, all standing perfectly still as if they were waiting for orders.

  Nobody moved.

  Then Eric whispered, “I’ve got an idea.”

  “Don’t do anything,” hissed Mia.

  “It’ll be OK, watch,” said Eric.

  All the time they had been in town, he had had his home-made robot, Magnus, tucked under his arm. Now he put it on the ground and whispered, “Straight ahead.”

  The robot trundled out into the road and headed for the parrots. When it was within two metres of the birds, Eric called out: “Stop.”

  The robot stopped.

  “Now fire,” said Eric.

  The robot lifted up its right arm. It was holding a small water pistol. It squirted a jet of water at one of the parrots.

  All six of the birds suddenly came to life. They swarmed over the robot, pecking and flapping, clambering over each other and shoving each other out of the way. Then they all returned to their original positions, standing in the road, staring straight ahead, not moving, not making a sound.

  The robot was a pile of cogs, metal splinters and grey dust.

  �
�Magnus!” exclaimed Eric.

  “Eric, no!” Danny cried, holding Eric back when his friend tried to run out into the road.

  “Look what they’ve done to Magnus!” said Eric.

  “We’ll – we’ll – repair him later,” said Danny.

  “Repair him?” exclaimed Eric. “There’s nothing left to repair.”

  “At least we know not to try and fight them,” said Mia. “They’re too powerful for us.”

  Danny still clung on to Eric. “What shall we do then?” he said to Mia.

  “Use your remote,” she said. “Take it out of your pocket very slowly. Press Pause. Get something out of Dad’s shed, like a hammer maybe, and knock them for six.”

  Danny nodded.

  “Can’t you rewind time first?” pleaded Eric. “And bring Magnus back?”

  “Who cares about your stupid robot?” said Mia. “Danny, just get rid of those birds.”

  “Danny, don’t listen to her,” said Eric. “You only have to Rewind a couple of minutes.Then Pause.”

  “What’s the point of bringing your robot back?” sneered Mia. “It hardly put up much of a fight, did it?”

  “You take that back, you big meanie,” wailed Eric.

  “Shh,” hissed Danny. “Shh. Look.”

  Eric and Mia looked up. The birds had vanished.

  “Where did they go?” snapped Mia.

  “I don’t know. I was distracted by you two bickering,” said Danny.

  Then they all felt themselves lifted straight up into the air. The ground was ten, twenty, thirty, forty, fifty metres away.

  They were above the clouds before they realised what had happened.

  The parrots had swept them into the sky. Each of the children had one parrot clinging to their left shoulder and one parrot clinging to their right shoulder.

  The parrots were now flying straight ahead, their eyes glittering and their feathers rippling.

  “You’re coming with us! You’re coming with us!” they squawked.

  Mia was the first to pull herself together.

  “Danny, press Rewind!” she called out.