Danny Danger and the Cosmic Remote

by Adam Frost

  “You’re coming with us! You’re coming with us!” the parrots squawked again.

  “Danny! Rewind! Now!” cried Mia.

  “You’re coming with us! You’re coming with us!” repeated the parrots.

  Danny was in a trance. The wind in his face was making his eyes water – or maybe he was crying? The currents of air were making his clothes flutter – or maybe he was shaking?

  He half heard Mia’s words and tried to put his hand in his pocket.

  But the parrots were clinging tightly to his shoulders. He could barely move his arms: they were wrenched halfway up his body and dangled uselessly by his sides.

  “Rewind!” yelled Mia.

  Eric had come to. “Rewind!” he called out.

  “Can’t!” spluttered Danny. “Parrots! My arms!”

  Mia seemed to realise what had happened and stopped calling out. But Eric whimpered “Rewind!” for another five minutes.

  “They’re going to drop us,” Danny said out loud. “And not even my remote can save us.”

  “If they were going to drop us, they’d have done it by now,” said Mia.

  The parrots dropped them.

  As they fell, Danny instinctively felt for his remote. He managed to press Pause.

  He realised that Mia and Eric had frozen in mid-air, but he was still falling, so he flung out his left arm and managed to grab hold of Eric’s right ankle. Eric stayed fixed in place for a second or two, but then he started to judder and tilt. Danny threw his right arm towards Mia and grabbed her shin. Both Eric and Mia dropped a centimetre and then half a centimetre. Then they stopped dead.

  Danny breathed out and closed his eyes. It seemed that, together, Eric and Mia could support his weight. He kept his eyes closed, trying to detect any further movement. But there was none. He was safe for now.

  Danny’s eyes flicked open when his remote rang. He quickly let go of Eric and reached into his pocket. He pulled out his remote and noticed the Play button was flashing.

  If he pushed it, would they all start falling again?

  But there was no time to lose; Mia was beginning to shake. He pressed Play and held the remote between his teeth.

  He recognised the voice immediately.

  “You find yourself on what some people call ‘the horns of a dilemma’,” drawled the Night Scientist.

  “I’m – I’m not afraid of you,” spluttered Danny.

  But the Night Scientist kept talking and Danny realised that the voice was a recording.

  “You must realise that the only way I can have left this message is because I know your remote’s unique code locator. And that is how I know your exact location.” The Night Scientist continued, “You’re 1009.3 metres above the ground.”

  Danny glanced quickly down at the clouds below him.

  “So let’s review the situation,” said the Night Scientist. “I would imagine that you’ve pressed Pause. You’re probably clinging on to your friend’s leg or your sister’s leg or both. Perhaps you’re holding the remote in your mouth, like a dog with a bone. Next, you’ll try Rewind.”

  Danny mumbled, “Oh yeah, good idea,” and stared down at the remote in his mouth.

  “But ask yourself this,” went on the Night Scientist. “How long do you press Rewind for? A minute? Two minutes? Till you’re back on the ground? Till you’re back on the high street?”

  The voice cackled.

  “However far back you rewind, you’ll never stop me finding you.You see, I first heard about the cosmic remote in 1982, years before you were born. Do you see? So to stop me knowing about the remote, to stop me wanting the remote, you’d have to rewind time till – well – 1981 at the very least. Do you think you can pull that off? Think you’ve got it in you, Daniel, hmm?”

  The voice cackled again.

  “What I’m trying to say is: you have to face me sometime.You can’t keep running away.You know I’m not going to give up my quest for the remote. Not after thirty years. So here’s what you should do.”

  Danny’s brain was racing. He got ready to let go of Mia’s leg and press Rewind.

  “You allow yourself to fall,” said the Night Scientist. “The parrots have been programmed to drop you at an exact point in time and space. You’ll fall for about thirty seconds. You’ll look down and see a barn in a field rising to meet you. Don’t worry. You’re going to fall through an open hatch in the roof. You’ll all land on gigantic hay bales which will break your fall.You may suffer a few cuts and bruises – nothing more.You will then wait in the barn till nightfall when I will come and speak with you. As you have no doubt realised, I’m not at my best during the daytime.”

  Danny glanced up at Mia’s twisted face. She looked terrified.

  “Of course, I’ve taken a few precautions. The barn is locked.There’s no way out.There’s no way in. Naturally you can use your remote – in which case I’ll see you tomorrow, or the day after that, or the day after that.”

  The voice crackled and went dead.

  He’s lying, said Danny to himself. If I press Play, we’ll all splatter on the ground.

  Then another thought crossed his mind.

  But if I hit the ground, so will the remote. It will break into a thousand pieces. He won’t want that.

  Then he seemed to make a decision.

  What choice do I have? Do I stay up here for the rest of my life?

  He let go of Eric’s leg, grabbed the remote out of his mouth and pressed Play. The wind roared in his ears and he heard Eric and Mia yelling.

  “We’re going to be OK. We’re going to be OK,” Danny tried to say, but the wind rushed over his face so quickly that his lips vibrated and his cheeks flapped and he ended up just slobbering.

  He shot through the hatch in the barn roof and landed on the haystack with a crunch. Mia landed behind him and Eric landed next to him.

  The haystack shook and squeaked for a few seconds.They lay on their backs for five minutes, not saying a word, just breathing deeply and thinking.

  “We’re alive,” said Mia finally.

  “Are we?” asked Eric.

  “OK, you can press Rewind now, Danny,” said Mia.

  “Hang on a minute,” said Eric. “That was mind-blowing. I don’t ever want to forget that.”

  “Don’t be ridiculous,” said Mia. “It was terrifying. Besides, where are we?” She sat up. “In a barn Goodness Knows Where. Danny, please. Rewind. Now.”

  “Can’t we at least see where we are first,” asked Eric. He bounced down off the haystack, on to the floor of the barn.

  “The door will be locked, Eric,” said Danny flatly.

  Eric went over to the barn door. He rattled it a few times. It was locked tight.

  Mia gave Danny a strange look.

  “OK, Danny, what’s going on?” she asked.

  “Right, now don’t panic,” said Danny. “Hear me out.”

  He explained how he had paused time and what the Night Scientist had said.

  It took a few seconds for it to sink in, and then Eric said: “OK, I agree with Mia now. Press Rewind.”

  “Hang on,” said Mia. “I’ve changed my mind too. The Night Scientist may be a nasty piece of work, but he’s right. You do have to confront him.”

  “N-no,” stammered Eric. “No you don’t.”

  “As soon as he gets here,” said Mia, “you should press Pause.Then bash him on the head. Teach him a lesson once and for all.”

  “Don’t listen to her!” exclaimed Eric. “This Night Scientist bloke is as evil as it gets. You remember the letter from your uncle. He’s highly dangerous. He’ll take the remote and leave us here to rot.”

  “He can’t take the remote without Danny letting him,” said Mia. “Danny can just press Pause and stop him. Or press Rewind and stop him.”

  “You saw what he did to Magnus,” said Eric. “He’ll do the same to us.”

  Eric and Mia both fell silent, looking up at Danny every few seconds.

  Danny finally said,
“I want to face him.”

  “No!” Eric cried. “You can’t listen to a girl. Girls don’t know anything.”

  “I’m not doing it because of Mia,” said Danny. “I think I have to do it.That’s all.”

  “Danny. Look, give me the remote. I’ll press Rewind if you don’t want to,” said Eric.

  Mia stood in front of Danny and folded her arms.

  “Oi,” she said.

  Eric sat down on the edge of a hay bale and put his head in his hands.

  “I can’t believe I’m here. Maybe this is all a bad dream. Maybe I’ll wake up in my room with all my things. Mum and Dad will come in and say: ‘Let’s go to the park!’ I’ll spend the afternoon on the swings. OK, I’m going to wake up now. One, two, three.Wake up!” He sat up and opened his eyes wide.

  “One, two, three.Wake up!” he said again.

  He opened his eyes even wider.

  “Flippin’ ’eck!” Eric sighed and put his head in his hands again.

  They didn’t say much for the rest of the day. They patiently waited for night to come.

  Every hour or so, Eric would try another line of argument.

  “My parents will be so worried.”

  “After all I’ve done for you, can’t you do this for me?”

  “Just Rewind us back to the high street. Then you and Mia can be kidnapped by the birds and I’ll stay behind.”

  By five in the evening Eric realised it was pointless, and he gave up and sat in a distant corner of the barn by himself.

  Danny was staring into space, thinking. He had wanted to face the Night Scientist, but he wanted to make sure he was in control when it happened.

  Slowly but surely, a plan formed in his head.

  Just before sunset, he called Mia and Eric over to where he was sitting.

  “What do you want?” Eric huffed.

  “What’s up, Danny?” asked Mia.

  “I think I’ve worked out what we should do,” said Danny. “Eric, you know how you don’t want to be here? Well, maybe you shouldn’t be here. Maybe none of us should be here.”

  “What do you mean?” mumbled Eric.

  “Mia, you remember how last night I recorded lots of versions of myself – to put the Night Scientist off?” said Danny. “Well, how about I record nothing? Just one side of the barn? Then we can all hide behind it.”

  Mia frowned. “You’re not making any sense, Danny.”

  “It’s easier if I show you,” he said, and placed his remote on a hay bale. He pressed Record and light covered the far end of the barn.

  “I still don’t understand,” said Eric.

  “Just wait,” said Danny. He waited till a minute had passed, then pressed Stop.

  “Now look,” said Danny.

  He pressed Play and a recording of the far end of the barn shot out of the remote. He balanced the remote on the hay bale, turning it until the edges of the recording and the edges of the actual barn lined up exactly.You couldn’t tell where the real barn ended and the recording started.

  “Watch this,” said Danny. He ran towards the recorded image, running through it as if it were a waterfall. Eric and Mia watched in disbelief. Danny had been swallowed up by the barn wall.

  “Danny?” Mia called out after a few seconds.

  Danny stuck his head through the recorded image. It looked as if his head was floating in mid air.

  “See what I mean?” said Danny’s head. “I record one end of the barn. Then I press Play. Then we can all hide behind the recording.”

  Mia suddenly understood and she smiled.

  Danny emerged from behind the recording. He balanced the remote on the hay bale again, and pressed Record.

  “I just need to record a good chunk of time,” said Danny. “Maybe fifteen minutes. So we can choose our moment.”

  “Our moment?” asked Eric. “What moment?”

  “Our moment to pounce!” Danny declared. “You see, the Night Scientist will come in and think that the barn is empty. When he least expects it, we jump out.We tie up his hands and feet. I tell him that he’ll never get the remote. Never. Every time he tries to catch me, I’ll do something like this. I’ll outsmart him. So he may as well give up because he’s never going to win.”

  “OK,” said Mia, nodding. “But what if he doesn’t listen?”

  “If he doesn’t listen, I’ll have to, well, I’ll have to get nasty,” said Danny.

  Mia looked vaguely impressed; Eric looked vaguely anxious.

  Danny didn’t know what getting nasty would involve, or whether he’d be able to do it, but it felt like that was what he was supposed to say. In actual fact, he hoped his first plan would work and that the Night Scientist would surrender straightaway.

  “Hey, if he doesn’t listen, me and Eric can use these,” said Mia, pulling a large torch out of her front pocket and a smaller one from her back pocket.

  “Woah, you’ve got two torches?” said Danny.

  “Yeah, the one I had last night, plus I pinched Dad’s spare,” said Mia. “Thought we should be prepared this time.”

  “Interesting, interesting,” said Eric, “but tell you what, why don’t you two jump out on him with the torches or whatever. I’ll stay hidden. I’ll join in if you need me. Kind of like reinforcements.”

  “No,” said Mia. “We’re sticking together. We’re a team.”

  She handed Eric the smaller torch. Eric looked at it and took it with a sigh.

  “I wish I’d never heard of this bloomin’ cosmic remote,” he said.

  Danny kept recording for another ten minutes. The sun had almost set and the barn was getting darker.There was one bulb hanging near the roof hatch, which threw a narrow shaft of light downwards.

  “He’ll be here soon,” said Mia. “It’s dark outside.”

  “OK,” said Danny, and stopped recording. “Let’s get ready.”

  He put the remote on the hay bale and covered it with straw so that it couldn’t be seen. He picked up two coils of rope from the floor of the barn and handed them to Mia.

  “Now, could you and Eric stand at the far end?” he instructed.

  Danny stayed by the remote, ready to press Play as soon as the door was unbolted.

  A few minutes went past. The three children waited and waited.

  8

  POWER OFF

  It was pitch black outside.

  Danny looked at the time on his remote:

  Danny pressed Play and ran over to join his friends.The image of the barn was projected on top of them. Anyone who walked in would think that the barn was completely empty.

  The door shuddered open and the Night Scientist entered. He was followed by six robot parrots, waddling uneasily on their metal claws.

  The Night Scientist swivelled his head to the left and right and made a loud growling noise. Then he removed a metal box from his pocket. It was the same metal box that he had used when he broke into Danny’s house. He tapped it twice and it started to beep.

  “They can’t be far,” said the Night Scientist. “According to the transmitter, the remote is less than a hundred metres away.”

  The parrots shuffled from side to side and shook their wings.

  “Andre, you go north, Margery, you go west, Petrarch, you go south-west; the rest of you, head for the marshes,” ordered the Night Scientist.

  The parrots swivelled round, spread their wings and flew out through the barn door.

  Behind their invisible barrier, Danny motioned to his friends to stay quiet and still.

  The Night Scientist walked forwards and stood in the dead centre of the barn, about a metre away from where the remote was hidden under a clump of straw.

  He looked again at the transmitter and barked angrily. He began to pace backwards and forwards, mumbling to himself. Danny flinched as the Night Scientist slammed his fist down on the hay bale a few centimetres away from the remote’s hiding place. One frustrated punch would pulverise it.

  The Night Scientist stopped walking and l
ooked up at the roof.

  “I thought you’d stay and finish this, boy,” he said out loud. ‘I didn’t think you’d run away again!”

  He tapped the transmitter twice.

  “Strange, it’s not moving,” he said. “Maybe one of the birds has caught him.”

  The Night Scientist rubbed his hands with glee.

  “That must be it, the birds have got him,” he growled. “What else could it possibly be?”

  Then a dark look passed across the Night Scientist’s face. He spun round on his heels and stared at the false wall of the barn, where Danny and his friends were hiding. He walked slowly towards it, sniffing the air like a wolf. He was staring directly at Danny now. He seemed to notice the faint shaft of light that was pouring out of the remote and projecting the recorded image on to the barn wall.

  “Now!” shouted Danny.

  The three friends leapt through the air and knocked the Night Scientist backwards. They had appeared as if from nowhere, flying through the hidden wall.

  “Curses!” spluttered the Night Scientist.

  In a few seconds he was bound hand and foot. Danny picked up the remote from the floor of the barn and pointed it at him.

  “It’s over,” Danny declared. “You’ll never have it! Every time you come for it, something like this will happen. And if you escape, I’ll rewind time, and catch you again.”

  The Night Scientist laughed.

  “I’m not joking, I mean it,” said Danny.

  The Night Scientist laughed again.

  “Did you really think this could be settled with words?” he asked.

  “What do you mean?” said Danny.

  “I realised last time we met that you wouldn’t give up the remote without a fight. So a fight is what we’re going to have.”

  Danny tried to speak, but no words came out.

  “That’s why I brought you here,” said the Night Scientist. “This barn didn’t exist yesterday. I built it specially for you. Specially for us.”

  Danny glanced up and around.

  “I chose the spot carefully,” said the Night Scientist. “It’s surrounded by marshland. It’s miles from the nearest town. Nobody will interrupt us.”