Heart of a SEAL

by Dixie Lee Brown

  The silence stretched for a moment, while Jen looked at her mother with an I-told-you-so grin. It did Luke’s heart good to witness the exchange, and Jen’s unconditional acceptance might make it easier finding favor with Sally.

  “Well, I don’t usually worry too much about being PC, but if I was to change, what should I call you? Princess? Rambo? What’s your pleasure?” Luke swept his gaze over her.

  She must have grown a good four inches since he’d seen her last, but she was still as slender as a reed. Her chin-length brown hair, a shade lighter than her mother’s, bounced every time she moved, which was a lot. She had Sally’s light blue eyes, and Jen’s now sparkled with mischief.

  “No!” She laughed, as if he was the funniest person in the world. “My name is Jen. Maybe you could call me that until we think of a nickname that fits.”

  “You know what? Jen is a beautiful name, just right for a beautiful girl, but what’s this business about you being nine? I thought you were eight.”

  “Silly. I had a birthday in February.” Once again, her smile faded. “I wanted to invite you, but Mom said you couldn’t come.”

  The sadness in her baby blues bit him in the ass…hard. He felt like a total jerk. Luke reached for her and drew her into a hug. “I’m sorry, Jen. I wish I’d been here. Tell you what. Let’s pick a day and go shopping for a birthday present. Anything you want—well…except a car…or a pony.” He crossed his eyes and made a funny face.

  Jen laughed, her momentary sadness apparently forgotten. “Anything I want?”

  “As long as it’s okay with your mom.” They both turned to look at Sally, and Luke didn’t miss the wariness and anxiety in her expression.

  She was so much more beautiful in person than in the faded photograph in his pocket. Long, dark brown hair hung in wavy tendrils to the middle of her back, its silky texture begging to be touched. Petite in stature, she was almost a full foot shorter than him, but she worked out regularly, or at least she had when he’d first met her, and her body was lithe, agile and strong. He loved her sexy blue eyes and the way they lit up with amusement, mischief and, once in a while, lust. He’d give anything to see happiness in her eyes now, but instead, she avoided meeting his gaze.

  Why kid himself? If he was a betting man, he’d wager her unease had nothing to do with what he might buy Jen for her birthday and everything to do with the fact that he was kneeling in the middle of Sally’s living-room floor. Truth be told—he wouldn’t fault her for being cautious. It was a good trait to practice. If only she’d been a bit more circumspect before choosing to go out with the sleazeball in the driveway.

  “Is it okay, Mom?” Jen’s excitement erupted with another bounce.

  He wouldn’t have blamed Sally for not wanting him to spend time with her daughter, but Jen’s smile of joy was apparently too brilliant to squash. “We’ll talk about it tomorrow, okay, honey? It’s way past your bedtime now. You get ready for bed while I walk Tiffany home.” She grabbed her purse from the cabinet near the door. “I’ll only be a minute.”

  “Bye, Tiffany,” Jen said.

  “See ya, girlfriend.” The babysitter gathered her sweater and purse and started toward the door.

  “Hold up a minute. I’ll walk Tiffany to her house. You stay inside.” Luke pushed to his feet, hoping Sally wouldn’t argue simply because she was annoyed with him. He didn’t want to remind her in front of her nine-year-old daughter that the man who’d caused the bruise forming on her jaw and cheekbone was still parked in the driveway. In a short time, those bruises would be noticeable enough for Jen to spot, and Sally could answer her daughter’s questions however she saw fit. For now, he was relieved when Sally nodded, pulled some bills from her purse and handed them to Tiffany.

  Jen touched Luke’s arm as he moved to follow the teenager outside. “You’re not leaving, are you?”

  He wasn’t going anywhere until the loser in the Chevy Tahoe out front left. After that, he needed fifteen minutes alone with Sally to say what he’d come to say. Then, if she wanted him to leave, he’d move on with a clear conscience…and a heavy heart. He gave Jen a quick hug. “I’m not leaving yet. In fact, I’ll be staying at a friend’s place north of here for a while. It’s not that far away, so I can come anytime you want to see me. Don’t forget, I promised you a birthday present and I meant it, even if I have to go shopping alone.” He glanced at Sally, but he couldn’t read her expression.

  “I mean…you should stay here tonight…with us. Then we can talk more in the morning.” Jen’s small fingers squeezed his arm.

  “Jen, that’s enough, honey. I’m sure Luke has somewhere he needs to be.” Sally stepped behind Jen, placing her hands on the girl’s shoulders, and gave Luke an apologetic smile.

  God, she was pretty…and so damn transparent. It was clear she wanted him out of there in the worst way—something she wasn’t going to get until they’d had a chance to talk. He grinned as he met her gaze. “Actually, I don’t have anywhere to be. I was planning to sleep in my vehicle again. Your couch looks pretty comfortable compared to my old truck.” He hated himself for the cornered-prey look that invaded Sally’s eyes. “If you’ve got eggs in the house, I’ll even cook breakfast.”

  “Please, Mom. Please say yes.” Jen hugged them both as she bounced up and down.

  Sally’s expression hardened and her cold eyes regarded him as though he was something the cat had caught and left on the doorstep. She cleared her throat, sounding suspiciously like she’d growled at him. “I suppose it would be all right for one night. Jen, find a pillow and a blanket for the couch.”

  The girl hugged her mother around the waist and Sally bent to kiss Jen’s head. Lucky for Luke, Sally would do anything to make her daughter happy. Apparently, that included allowing the proverbial leper to sleep over. Now, if only he could get Sally to talk to him before she gave him his walking papers in the morning, Jen’s efforts on his behalf wouldn’t be wasted.

  Luke continued to the door and gave Jen a thumbs-up before he followed Tiffany outside. It took him a couple of minutes to deliver the girl to her door and he was halfway back to Sally’s steps when the Chevy Tahoe parked at the curb roared to life and the headlights split the darkness. He continued to walk until he reached the path leading to the front door, then turned to face the lights, legs spread slightly, hands fisted at his sides. If the guy wanted to take out his frustration on someone, Luke was happy to oblige.

  The man revved the engine loudly three times before he rammed it in gear, and the big SUV lurched forward onto the grass. Luke advanced quickly, sidestepping the front of the vehicle. The driver threw the transmission in Park and climbed to the ground.

  Luke stepped close, invading the man’s personal space, struggling to control the white-hot fury he and his shrink had labored for months to lock away. His lightning-fast temper had been a surprise even to him after his physical body began to heal. Harder to fix, his mental state had become his nemesis—one that could keep him from the two people he cared about the most.

  Sally opened the front door and stepped partway out. He couldn’t see her eyes at this distance, but he felt her gaze on him as though a soft breeze, carrying the scent of carnations, swirled around him. She had always smelled of carnations. Now, her very presence was a physical restraint, tipping him back to the side of sanity.

  “No one’s been hurt seriously so far. Wanna keep it that way?” Luke stepped back, giving the driver some breathing room.

  The man studied him with a steady glare. “You seem like a smart guy. Do me a favor, would ya? Tell the ice queen she’s fired.” He jerked his head toward the house. “You, on the other hand—I could use a man like you on the payroll.” He pulled a business card from his front pocket and flicked it to the ground near Luke’s feet. “If you ever need work, give me a call.”

  Yeah right. When hell freezes over, buddy. “No, thanks. I’ll pass.”

/>   “Suit yourself.” The man started to turn toward his vehicle but stopped and swung back slowly. “I wonder how well you know that little gal in there. I never hire anyone unless I do a thorough background check. People hide things, and when you’re running a business, it’s smart to find out what those things are.” He crossed his arms and cocked his head toward Luke, as though trying to decide if it was worth his time to share his findings.

  Luke stopped short of asking what line of work the guy was referring to. He probably didn’t want to know. Besides, it didn’t matter. Anger resurfaced as he prepared to defend Sally from what had to be nothing but a pack of lies. “If you’ve got something to say, spit it out.”

  “Sally Duncan has secrets and they’re buried deep. Not even my people could dig up all the answers. My advice is, watch your back if you plan on spending time with her.” He turned abruptly and climbed behind the wheel.

  “That’s all you’ve got? Sounds like bullshit to me, man. This—whatever this was—it’s over. The lady won. Time for you to head back to whatever rock you crawled out from under. And you can do me a favor too. Don’t come back.” Luke’s last words fell quiet and even, the outward manifestation of his simmering anger.

  The man’s gaze swept over Luke, obviously taking his measure, before he laughed and swung his door closed. He slammed the SUV into reverse and spun his big tires, leaving wide ruts in the grass until he squealed onto the street. Shifting into Drive, he apparently floored the gas pedal and wound the engine up tight, blowing through the stop sign at the end of the block.

  Luke kept vigil until he could no longer hear the Tahoe’s engine. When he turned toward the house, Sally stood quietly in the open doorway, the light shining around her with a halo effect. Her shuttered expression gave him no clue what she was thinking.

  Luke held her gaze as he approached the house. She stared back at him with wide eyes, triggering his protective instinct. He had to fold his hands behind his back to keep himself from reaching for her, tucking her against him and laying her head in that spot beneath his chin. She’d felt so good there all those months ago. The effort it took to let her turn and retreat into the house awakened the panic in him. He had to tell her what he’d come to say before he lost his nerve.

  As much as he tried to block out her former boss’s accusations, the insidious whispers in his head started almost immediately. Was she hiding something? Was that why she stayed here in this backwater town with no family but Jen and a few friends? Her life seemed to revolve around that little girl and her friend, Rachel, who, coincidentally, was his brother’s fiancée. At one time, Luke had hoped to be a part of the picture too, but now he wasn’t so sure he’d make the cut.

  He stepped across the threshold behind her, closing the door and turning the dead bolt.

  In the center of the small living room, she whirled to face him. “What did he say?” Wariness crept into her expression, giving credence to his unwanted suspicions.

  Luke shrugged. “Said to tell you you’re fired. Everything else was just male chest-thumping.” He caught the barest wisp of her smile as she turned away to straighten up the couch, where he’d be sleeping. A lump formed in his throat as he watched her. He loved the fact he’d always been able to make her laugh. The three weeks they’d spent together before he shipped out had been the most fun he’d ever had with a woman.

  Without a word, he walked past her, through the kitchen, to check the lock on the back door. He’d spent enough time in this little house with her and Jen—cooking meals together, watching movies—he was familiar with her routines. Despite the fact this was a small town and everybody knew everyone else, Sally was strict—almost obsessive—about locking her doors. At first, he’d found it a little strange, but now he could be assured the house would be locked up tight until this mess had blown over.

  The living room was empty when he retraced his steps. A pillow and neatly folded blanket were stacked on one end of the couch. He turned the switch on a nearby lamp, then returned to the door to flip off the overhead light. A good part of the room retreated into shadows. Luke dropped down on the couch, leaned over to unlace his boots and toed them off. Then he sat back and stretched, crossing his legs at the ankles. Out of habit, he pulled the picture from his shirt pocket. Creased down the middle, dog-eared and faded, the images of Sally and Jen smiled at him, never failing to make his heart beat a little faster, as though to prove he still had a reason to live.

  A door opened and closed down the hallway to his right. A second later, Sally appeared, a green terry-cloth robe tied closed around her slim waist, leaving much of her legs bare. She glanced at him, then quickly away. Silently, she circled the room, picking up newspapers that had been left scattered on the furniture, empty dishes and cups and a game Jen and Tiffany had probably been playing. Finished with her chore, she folded her arms across her chest and turned toward him. The man-made chill in the room was enough to have him going for the blanket, but he stared right back at her.

  “You never answered my question. What are you doing here, Luke?”

  Right to the point. He’d expected that from her, and she’d get the same from him. “I came to see you. I meant to call first, of course, but I couldn’t walk away while your friend was being such a jerkwad.”

  She straightened, dropping her arms. “Were you just sitting out there in the dark watching me?” Her voice conveyed the same disgust he saw in her eyes.

  “Well, yes…and no. There were also a few drive-bys.” He stopped at her disbelieving humph and raised his hands as though, by his sheer will, he could keep her from stomping out of the room. “I’m not a stalker, Sally. I know this sounds ugly and perverted, but I only kept my distance because I was having a hard time working up the courage to face you. And I couldn’t leave without apologizing.”

  Sadness filled her eyes and her shoulders slumped as she turned away. “Do you know what you’ve done? If you’re not here in the morning, Jen will be devastated. If you are here, she’ll be shattered when she sees you walk out of her life. Either way, that little girl gets hurt, and that’s the one thing I swore you’d never get the chance to do again.”

  Luke reached her in three strides, a hand on each arm, turning her to look at him. “You have to believe me—I never intended to hurt either of you, but especially not Jen. You know how I feel about her. This isn’t easy for me either, but I owe you an explanation. I know I’ve fucked this up. I should have come a long time ago. Will you sit with me? Hear me out? Please?” He’d hurt her without even the courtesy of telling her why. Now he was asking for her time, and she had every right to turn her back on him. His chest constricted with the fear she might do just that.

  Her gorgeous blue gaze drilled into him for a moment before she barely nodded. “You don’t owe us anything, but I’ll listen because I’d like to know where our signals got crossed.” She slipped by him and strode to an armchair that sat to the left of the couch.

  Luke followed, grateful to be able to breathe again. Scooping up the picture that had slipped to the floor when he’d risen to go after her, he returned to his seat, leaning forward with his elbows resting on his knees. Momentarily at a loss to start the conversation, he held the worn photograph out for her to see.

  She searched his eyes before she reached for it and ran one slender finger down the crease, lingering on Jen’s face. “You still have this.”

  It was a statement rather than a question, but it provided the opening he needed. “That picture was all I had of you and Jen over there. It meant everything to me. The prison guards let me keep it, then found every opportunity to tell me I’d never see you again. But I didn’t believe them because you and Jen wouldn’t let me give up. I know that sounds nuts, but trust me, I’ve been checked and rechecked by the best military psychiatrists available, and I’m completely sane. You and that picture are the reasons I didn’t throw in the towel after the first month.”

/>   Sally sat up even straighter, if that was possible, and leaned to hand him the photograph. “As you can probably tell, Jen is still quite attached to you. When your brother called to say you’d been captured…by terrorists I couldn’t tell her that. She was too young, not equipped to handle something like that. Lord knows I wasn’t either. So, I’m very happy you came home, but I’m confused. I rushed to Bethesda when I heard you’d been rescued, only to be told I was on the short list of people you didn’t want to see. No explanation. I had to wait for your brother to visit you to find out how you were doing. I was scared to death for you, and hurt and embarrassed for me. Oh, don’t worry. I’m over it. I didn’t have any claim on you. But why show up now? You must know how hard this will be for Jen when you leave again.”

  Luke folded his hands, resisting the urge to succumb to his guilt and look away. He was also very aware Sally hadn’t said his leaving would be hard on her. “What did Garrett and Rachel tell you?”

  She smoothed her robe over her thighs, her forehead furrowing. The dim lighting made her bruises appear larger and darker. “They said you’d been seriously wounded during the rescue…that the doctors wanted to stabilize you before surgery…and that they were only allowing family to visit.” A harsh laugh punctuated her words. “I went to the hospital for three days anyway…just in case. The last day, I arrived in time to see three sailors leaving your room, all smiles. I was ecstatic, thinking you were better. When I asked at the nurses’ station, they didn’t know anything about a family-only order. One of the nurses asked my name as she was reading your chart, and she got this look on her face like she had a mouth full of something she couldn’t possibly swallow. That poor woman was the only one brave enough to tell me it was only me you didn’t want to see.” Her eyes, full of hurt, drifted away from his, studying something on the wall behind him.