Long Way Home

by Vaughn, Ann

  “Oh no!” Mary gasped.

  Shane was trembling and finding it hard to breathe. Pregnant. Tessa had been pregnant...so, not only had the Helton’s assaulted his woman...they’d killed his child. His...Tessa had been carrying his child.

  “Doctor...if Tessa doesn’t ask about...about a baby, please, don’t tell her,” Mary said, her hand on Shane’s shoulder. “She will have enough to deal with. Please. She doesn’t need to know that.”

  “Agreed...we will be keeping her drugged for the next two days at least. Her pain will be off the charts and she needs several hours of uninterrupted sleep. At this time, I would ask that visits be kept to a minimum.”

  Gibson cleared his throat, speaking for the first time since the doctor’s arrival. “You said sexual assaults...with an S?”

  “We are running a rape kit...but there were at least four different sperm samples so far.”

  An anguished cry roared through the room as Shane exploded, turning and grabbing Gibson by the shirt with one hand, the other drawn back as if to pummel him.

  “How the hell could you let this happen?!?!?!?! I trusted you!! You were supposed to keep her safe!!”

  “I wasn’t there this morning, Shane. Things had fallen into such a routine, we left Joe and Pete on watch.”

  “They lost contact for over three hours!”

  “What would you have done? Stormed in within the first hour? She was taking a shower. They didn’t want to invade her privacy and they didn’t want to overreact.”

  “I would have-”

  “Gentlemen!” Mary snapped, cutting Shane off, “Second guessing yourselves won’t change anything.”

  “She...our baby...my...Tessa.” Shane lost it then. He released Gibson and then his legs just gave out from under him and he slid to his knees. Mary went down with him, holding his head to her shoulder while they both cried, clinging to one another for support. In the background, Gibson spoke quietly to the doctor, finding out room information and thanking him for his care of Tessa. After several long moments, Shane felt Gibson’s hand on his shoulder. He took several deep, shuddering breaths to help pull himself together. He knew he had to be strong for Tessa. The days and weeks ahead were going to be difficult for her; she’d need his strength now more than ever.

  Mary stroked her hand over his cheek when he pulled back from her shoulder. “My Tessa is lucky to have you,” she told him, her voice soft. “I’m so sorry about your baby.”

  He drew a deep, cleansing breath and another, then scrubbed the tears from his face.

  “Have they moved her to a room yet?” he asked Gibson, his voice raw.

  “They were preparing to. Let’s go check.”

  Shane stood and helped Mary to her feet and together they followed Gibson to a nurses’ station. The nurse gave them directions to Tessa’s room and they arrived just as Tessa was being wheeled in. When they were cleared to enter, all three stood around her bed, taking in her damaged form. She was placed on her stomach in concession to the injuries to her back. Bandages and tubes were everywhere. What little could be seen of her face was swollen.

  Shane’s whole body was tight. He wished he’d have killed that son-of-a-bitch...both of them...all of them for what they did to Tessa! And he couldn’t wait to get his hands on Joe and Pete and rip them a new one. Three hours before he was notified. An hour for him to get there. God, what she went through. Just the thought of it all...

  “Shane, honey, sit down,” Mary’s voice broke through the red haze he was in. “You can’t change what’s done. You can’t torture yourself playing What If...and you know she would tell you the same. You got them all in custody. They’ll stand trial for what they did and they’ll never hurt another girl ever again. My Tessa did that; you did that. Now you need to focus on what’s important right here and now in this room. Do you hear me?” He didn’t speak, concentrating on forcing air through his lungs. With everything else, he didn’t notice before, but he did now. Tessa’s beautiful, long golden hair had been butchered. There were some long strands here and there but most of it had been hacked away. “Shane Gabriel, did you hear me?” Mary’s sharp tone cut through his thoughts.

  His eyes shifted from Tessa to her mother, who Tessa looked very much like. Mary wore her hair in a shoulder-length cut and it was just a tad darker than Tessa’s but their faces were nearly the same.

  “I want my hands on them,” he confessed darkly, “All of them. Every single one whose DNA they confirm on her. Every. Single. One.”

  “Look at me, McCanton,” Gibson snapped, “I want that, too. I would love nothing better than to lock you in a room with each one of them and let you beat them to a bloody pulp...but that won’t help her. Tessa is strong. She can survive this...and she’s going to need your support, not your anger.”

  He closed his eyes and breathed sharply through his nose. “I know that, Gib. Doesn’t change how I feel.”

  “I know...but, if Tessa were to open her eyes right now and see you like this...it wouldn’t be a good thing. I’ve seen the changes you made in her these past weeks. You are what was missing from her life all these years. She’s going to need you now more than ever.”

  He knew what they were telling him was true; didn’t help, though. Not when he took in Tessa’s battered body.

  The door opened and Bruce and Crownover stepped in. Crownover took one look at her and swore viciously, then immediately apologized when he saw Mary. Gibson made quick introductions but Shane ignored them, his eyes on Tessa’s closed ones, willing them to open. He silently begged her to wake up. He needed to know that in spite of everything, she was going to be OK.

  “Shane, a word with you?” Bruce asked, breaking his thoughts.

  “I’m not leaving her,” he said low.

  “It’ll only be a minute. I just need-”

  “I said, I’m not leaving her,” he stressed.

  “You need to give your statement and-”

  “Get. Out.”

  “I know you’re upset. I know how-”

  Shane lunged at him, grabbing his Godfather by the throat and slamming him back against the wall. “You don’t know how I feel, Bruce!” he exploded. “You want my statement? You screwed up. You left her alone and unprotected and damn near got her killed! She was gang raped! They were so brutal they tore her uterus. She miscarried my baby and she may never be able to have children now. I told you to take care of her and this is what happened. There’s your statement, now get out! And tell Pete and Joe they better steer clear of me...and by the way? I quit,” he growled, releasing him and turning away to take a deep breath.

  “Now, don’t make any rash decisions, you-”

  “I’m done with this, Bruce. All my notes for all my cases are at my desk. You already have my gun. Here’s my badge,” he said, ripping it off his belt and throwing it at him, “I’m done.”

  Bruce caught the badge then wearily placed it on the bed next to Tessa’s hand.

  “Procedure still has to be followed and you know it. Nathaniel Helton just came out of surgery. He’s expected to make a full recovery. Paul Helton and the Council of Elders are all in custody, all lawyered up, but we have one who is talking. They are going down and they are going down hard and they will stay down, thanks to Tessa. Stephanie Quinn is with her family. She says she signed membership forms but doesn’t recall signing anything giving her consent to be beaten. She is afraid of Paul but adores Nathaniel. As hard as this will be for you to hear, what was done to Tessa may be our only way to take Nathaniel down.”

  Shane didn’t speak and refused to look away from Tessa to acknowledge Bruce further. Bruce sighed loudly and spoke again.

  “You need to give your statement. Joe and Pete-”

  “You keep them away from me. I’ll give a statement to you or to Crownover but that’s it and it won’t be now.”

  “Dammit, Shane,” Bruce growled.

  “Please,” Mary finally spoke up, “Tessa doesn’t need all this tension around her.”
<
br />   “You’re right, she doesn’t,” Shane agreed, “You need to go, Bruce.”

  “Come on, Captain,” Gibson said, opening the door, “I’ll walk you out.”

  Bruce shook his head but wisely followed Gibson out into the hall.

  “I get that he’s upset but-”

  Gibson held his hand up to stop him. “I don’t think you do get that he’s upset, not like I saw him. It’s never easy to witness someone fall apart but what I saw earlier...you’ve got to give him time.”

  “We have an investigation to run.”

  “You think I don’t know that? Tessa is mine, remember? How do you think you would feel if a doctor came out and told you your wife was brutally gang raped? You’re his Godfather. You need to back off.”

  Tessa’s door opened and Mary and Crownover stepped out. Both men looked to them, then with a nod to her, Bruce and Crownover left. Gib’s eyes turned to Mary, struck by how beautiful she was.

  “Tessa still out?”

  She nodded. “I just thought I’d give Shane a moment to be with her. He is barely hanging on by a thread.”

  “It’s tough to watch. Buy you a cup of coffee?” he offered.

  “That would be wonderful,” she said smiling and taking his arm when offered.

  Inside the room, Shane held Tessa’s hand and raised her fingers to his lips. So much had happened since they met that day in Kindergarten. She made his life miserable for longer than he could stand, then for a short time, she’d made him happier than he’d ever been...and then she left. He’d understood; she had to get out of Indian Springs and on with her life and he was away at college. But it hurt, her leaving. And he’d missed her. He’d had a few relationships between then and now but no one ever measured up to her.

  He rested his forehead on the bed next to her hip, her hand held tightly in between his. He let his mind drift over every moment of their lives together up until now. Every moment of the last few months. Seeing her when she stood in front of the meeting room, when they walked into her hotel room, their time in San Antonio.

  “Come on, Tess...come back to me,” he said softly, kissing her hand.

  ~~~

  “Shane, honey,” he heard Mary say, jerking him awake.

  “Tess?” he asked, looking down at her still sleeping form.

  “No, there’s no change,” Mary assured him, her voice soft. “Your friend Crownover brought some clothes for you.”

  He took the bag she offered then looked back down at Tessa.

  “I keep expecting her to open her eyes and start ordering me around and arguing with me.”

  Mary stroked her hand over his hair to soothe him.

  “She will before you know it. I didn’t know she was working with you,” she confided. “She told me she would be out-of-touch for a while, and a little bit about her investigation, but not who she was working with. It never occurred to me that she could be working with you...how long have you been back together with her?”

  “Little over four months,” he said, “we’re engaged.”

  A smile spread across her face. “Oh, Shane! That’s wonderful!”

  “After this, how can she get past what they did to her?”

  “She will...with you by her side. You are her rock, Shane. You always have been, even all these years you were apart; she always spoke of your conversations and texts and emails.”

  He shook his head, eyes on Tessa. “As a rape victim, she has a long road ahead of her. I couldn’t stand it if my touch made her relive what they did to her.”

  “We have a lot to learn about how to handle her, you more than me. I’m certainly no expert on rape, but I know about violence. What was done to her was done with hatred and fear. When you are with her, there will be love in your touch; I have to believe that will make a difference. And you can’t forget, Shane, my Tessa, she’s a lot stronger than we give her credit for.”

  He brushed his hand over Tessa’s hair. “God, I hope so,” he breathed. “You think we could get someone to come shape her hair up? I don’t want her to wake up and see it like this.”

  Mary offered him a sad smile. “What a wonderful idea. I’ll go talk to the nurses. I bet they would know someone willing to come fix her up.”

  A couple of hours later, Shane held Tessa against him while a very sweet and compassionate stylist cut Tessa’s hair into what she described as a short, choppy pageboy. He didn’t care what the cut was called, he just knew it looked a thousand times better once it was done. He also took her engagement ring off her dog-tags around his neck and slid it in place on her finger. He wanted her to know beyond a shadow of a doubt, as soon as she woke up, that he still wanted her.

  “Visiting hours are almost up,” the night shift nurse, who introduced herself as Linda, announced.

  “I’m not leaving her,” Shane insisted.

  “You won’t do her any good if you push yourself to exhaustion,” Linda told him.

  “I wasn’t there when she needed me the most,” he said, “I won’t let that happen again.”

  “Shane,” Mary began but the look he shot her silenced what she would have said. “Typical McCanton, stubborn to a fault.”

  “Damn straight.”

  “Like I said before, my Tessa is lucky to have you.”

  “I can take you to a hotel, Mary,” Gibson offered.

  “Just go to my place,” Shane said, pulling his keys from his pocket. “No sense in you going to a hotel when my place is available.”

  Mary nodded. “OK, honey, we’ll go there. I’ll bring you a change of clothes in the morning.”

  “Thanks.”

  “Try to rest,” she said, kissing his cheek.

  The nurse left with Mary and Gibson but came back ten minutes later pushing a roll-away bed.

  “I know you’re going to be stubborn and not use this, but it’s here, just in case,” she said after she made it up.

  “Thank you,” he replied softly.

  She checked Tessa’s vitals, then turned to face Shane. He guessed her to be slightly younger than his parents and Mary. She had dark hair with a sprinkling of grey here and there; just enough to make her look authoritative.

  “Your girl has been all over the news,” she announced. At his alarmed look, she held a cautionary hand up, “they haven’t released her name, but they are all over the story of how an undercover agent took down the Naturalists. Media ever gets a good look at the two of you and Hollywood types will be falling all over themselves to tell your story.”

  “Everyone should know what she did to take them down. What she sacrificed,” he said hoarsely.

  “She’s not the type to want that kind of attention, though, is she?”

  “No, ma’am. She’s not.”

  She studied Tessa a moment. “It’s a fine thing she did. The daughter of one of my co-workers got mixed up with that bunch a few years ago. No one’s heard from her since. We’re all hoping she’s among the girls recovered.”

  “Get me her name and the most recent picture her family has and I’ll find out for you.”

  “I’ll do that. Her mother would certainly appreciate it.”

  “Would be my pleasure. Something good needs to come of all this.”

  She smiled and gave his shoulder a pat. “Try to get some rest. I mean it.”

  “I’ll try,” he promised as she left.

  Alone with Tessa, he took her hand and kissed her fingers then leaned forward to rest his head on the side of her bed. He must have fallen asleep, but his eyes flew open when he felt a gentle touch to the crown of his head. It was dark in the room save for a small night light near the head of her bed but he could just barely see the shine of her eyes.

  “Hey,” he said softly, slowly lifting his head. She didn’t speak, just locked her gaze on his and again brushed her fingers through his hair. “Do you need anything?” She shook her head slightly. “OK...you’re going to be all right, baby,” he assured her. “Are you hurting?” She again shook her head but a tea
r rolled down her cheek and even in the darkened room he could see it. He raised her hand again to his lips. “It’s going to be all right, Tess. You’re safe now.” Her hand tightened in his hair and then she closed her eyes; it wasn’t long before she was asleep again.

  He got up and paced over to the window, looking out over the parking lot and fountains on the front grounds of the hospital. His thoughts drifted back to that night by the waterfall. They lay spent on the blanket and began to daydream about the house they would build there. He still had the list they made and decided that when she was released, he would get the ball rolling on building that house.

  The door opened and Nurse Linda came in to check her vitals and IV.

  “You aren’t resting,” she said to him.

  “I was. She woke up briefly a few minutes ago.”

  “Ah, that explains the blip we got on our monitors. Did she say if she was in pain?”

  “She shook her head when I asked.”

  “It’s almost time to give her another dose,” she said, “Doctor Roberts wants to give her time to heal a bit before we start scaling back the meds.”

  He nodded. “I agree, but I know she hates feeling doped up. She rarely even takes Tylenol.”

  “Likes to keep her wits about her, huh?”

  “She rarely even drinks much. Hazards of the job.”

  “All the more reason for you to get in that bed and get some rest of your own.”

  “Yes, ma’am,” he chuckled lightly.

  When she left, he crossed over to the bed and leaned down to place a soft kiss to Tessa’s brow.

  “I love you, Tess. Come back to me.”

  Chapter Fourteen

  The road back from Hell was never as easy as the one that led you there in the first place. Tessa knew that truth better than most. She’d been to Hell and back several times in her life. The first time was when she and her mother pulled their lives together after years of abuse from her father. The second time was when she crawled out of the nightmare that was her life in Afghanistan. She supposed now was the third time, and though she’d already been through enough to try the patience of a saint, this time seemed insurmountable.