Long Way Home

by Vaughn, Ann

  “She staying there with him?”

  “No, he’s dating her mother now. It kills me to think of her all alone down there, but what can I do?”

  Ivy took a sip of her beer. “Know why I came back? I had to get away from Reese,” she said, referring to her brother’s friend.

  “Away? But I thought -”

  “Yeah, me, too. Reese is too wrapped up in his career for a relationship, and as much as I want him, I couldn’t keep putting my life on hold. I was offered the job as the assistant band director at the high school here, so I took it.”

  “He’ll come around,” Shane assured her.

  Ivy laid her hand on his shoulder. “I hope so...Tessa will, too.”

  Shane kissed the side of Ivy’s head when she leaned into him. “I won’t hold my breath on that one. I just hope she can overcome what was done to her.”

  Ivy sighed. “Why couldn’t we be attracted to each other?”

  He chuckled. “Life would be so much less complicated, huh?”

  “It really would. I’ve been in love with Reese my whole life it seems. I thought when I was living there close to him that we’d finally get together.”

  “Didn’t quite work out that way, did it?”

  “No. Well, it did, but not like I wanted. He’s not ready.”

  “So, what, you’re just going to sit around and wait for him to come to his senses?”

  “I love him,” she said simply, “like you love Tessa.”

  “Pretty pathetic, aren’t we?” he snorted, finishing off his beer.

  “Pretty much. So, how long do we wait?”

  “Damned if I know,” he replied, resting his cheek on the top of her head. For a while they sat in silence, just enjoying each other’s company. Like she said, it really would simplify things if they could feel something more than just friendly brother/sister affection toward one another. His mother had always wanted him to end up with Ivy. Her mother was his mother’s best friend.

  “Are you really going to be happy being Sheriff here, Shane? After all the action and excitement of the big city?”

  “I couldn’t stay there. Too many memories at my place and at the office...and too much resentment toward my team members who were on watch when she was...when all that happened to her.”

  “That’s perfectly understandable.”

  “God, I love her, Ivy,” he said, his voice cracking. “I miss her so much. I want to help her, but she blames me for what happened.”

  “She doesn’t blame you, honey. That was just her self-preservation talking. You always hurt the ones you love? That kind of thing.”

  “I promised her once that no one would ever hurt her again...but someone did hurt her, on my watch.”

  Ivy sat up and faced him. “Stop that. What happened to Tessa was not your fault. You had to come home to be with your dad. Tessa knew the risks involved when she took the assignment, right? You can’t beat yourself up over this.”

  He shook his head, eyes brimming. “I can’t stop. They broke her, Ivy. They...and I wasn’t there to stop it. I couldn’t-”

  He broke then. Months of holding back, of pushing everything down came to the surface. Ivy gathered him into her arms and held him tight, stroking his hair and back to soothe him and just let him ride it all out.

  “It’s OK, honey, just let it all go. It’s all right,” she whispered.

  After several minutes, he took a deep breath and pulled back, scrubbing his hands over his face.

  “God, I’m sorry,” he breathed.

  “Oh, please. Don’t apologize. I understand...and you’re human. I won’t tell a soul. Promise.”

  He reached out to stroke a hand over her brunette hair.

  “Reese is an idiot,” he said softly.

  “Oh, yeah, he’s a huge idiot,” she laughed, turning her head to kiss his palm when he touched her cheek. “But Tessa’s not. She’ll come around, Shane. She just has to heal.”

  He and Ivy began to spend a lot of their free time together. The town thought they were an item and neither of them did or said anything to set the record straight. They enjoyed each other’s company and it helped them both to not be alone all the time. He was grateful for the time he got to spend with Ivy until the day her man retired from the Cowboys, took the job of Indian Springs’ new high school football coach and moved to town. While Shane was happy things were beginning to work out for her, it made him acutely aware of how much he missed Tessa. It had been months since he’d last seen her and lately he’d been fighting the urge to hop on a plane to go to Cabo and try to talk some sense into her.

  He still loved Tessa in spite of it all, which was why he’d been surprised when one night while making the rounds on patrol he came across a woman stranded on the side of the road and he felt a stirring of interest when he looked into her clear blue eyes. She was Wendy Shapland, and she was moving to town to be the new public librarian. She’d run out of gas 20 miles outside of town. He’d taken her to a gas station to fill a gas can, brought her back to her car then followed her back to the gas station to make sure she arrived safely. They chatted while he filled the car up for her and he learned she’d rented his old apartment in town, and when she was about to leave, he surprised them both by asking her to a Welcome to Town dinner at Miss Nettie’s Restaurant.

  Wendy was as different from Tessa as night and day. Tessa was tall and athletically built. Wendy was shorter and a bit curvier, more Girl-Next-Door than Tessa. She had a calming effect on him and he found he liked being around her. On their third date, he kissed her outside her door. She was the first woman he’d kissed since Tessa and while he didn’t feel the overwhelming, all-consuming passion Tessa’s kisses ignited, there was a definite spark between them. For the first time, he considered that just maybe there was life after Tessa Kelly.

  Chapter Sixteen

  Ivy went into Shelmerdine’s with the intention of buying new tennis shoes in preparation for the start of Summer Band. As she browsed the selection, she saw Mary Kelly talking to Mrs. Shelmerdine. She didn’t intend to eavesdrop but when Mrs. Shelmerdine asked about Tessa she couldn’t help it.

  “Tessa is coming home in a few days,” Mary Kelly announced.

  “Oh, Mary, how exciting! It’s been years since Tessa was last here. Is she coming home to stay?”

  “Glen and I are hoping we can talk her into it.”

  Tennis shoes forgotten, Ivy dug her phone out of her purse and rushed out of the store to call Shane.

  “Hey, Baby Girl, what’s up?”

  “Are you at the office?” she asked.

  Her abrupt tone alerted him. “No, I’m making the rounds. What’s up?” “I can’t get into it on the phone. How soon can you meet me at your house?”

  “Fifteen minutes. What’s this about?”

  “Just be there, Shane.”

  She ended the call and rushed to her truck. She’d been praying for this day to come ever since he told her about what happened with Tessa. Nothing would be right in Shane’s world until he dealt with his feelings for Tessa.

  Shane was on his front porch waiting for her when she pulled up. He stood as she got out and met her half way.

  “What is it?” he asked, “Did Reese-”

  “No, no, this isn’t about him. Look, I was just in Shelmerdine’s and heard Mary Kelly say that Tessa is coming home in a few days. I just didn’t want you to hear it from someone else.”

  A muscle ticked in his jaw, the only outward reaction to the news.

  “Well, we knew she would come home sooner or later. The Heltons’ trial is approaching.”

  “Yes, but that’s in Austin. She’s coming here and Mary wants to try to convince her to stay.”

  “She won’t,” he dismissed.

  “What makes you so sure?”

  “She hates it here,” he said simply. He walked back to the porch and sank down to the steps.

  “Will you talk to her while she’s here?”

  He shrugged. “It’s bee
n a year since I last saw her. I’ve respected her privacy and left her alone as she asked. My number hasn’t changed; she’s known how to contact me.”

  “You can’t avoid her forever.”

  “I know. She’s ripped my heart out twice now. I barely survived this last time. I can’t go another round with her. I wouldn’t survive.”

  “But what if this time she sticks?”

  He drew a deep, ragged breath.

  “I don’t think I can afford to find out. I’m just now getting back on my feet. Wendy-”

  “Is not Tessa and she never will be.”

  “No. She’s not. Wendy would never hurt me.”

  Ivy sighed. “But you don’t love Wendy.”

  “I could,” he said defiantly.

  Ivy looked directly into his eyes. “No. You couldn’t. Not when your heart still belongs to Tessa.”

  “Ivy-”

  She cut him off. “You can lie to everyone else but not to me. You love Tessa. You always have and you always will. I gotta go, I just didn’t want you to be blindsided by this. I love you.”

  He stood and kissed her brow. “Love you, too. Thanks for letting me know.”

  He watched Ivy leave and then slowly climbed the steps to go inside. One year and just the mention of her name had his guts churning. What would he do when they were face-to-face for the first time, because, in a town this small it, was going to happen.

  He checked in with his deputies to make sure there wasn’t anything that required his immediate attention, then let dispatch know he was taking the rest of the day off. Going to the fridge, he took out a beer then went into his home office.

  Images of those last few days with her flooded him. From seeing her bloodied and broken body in Helton’s clutches to that morning when her eyes finally opened and she accused him of abandoning her. He’d known she really hadn’t meant it all but she’d been so upset he’d been forced to leave. He wondered if time and distance had changed her views, or if she still blamed him.

  Beating himself up all over again, he pulled the chain with her dog-tags and ring from around his neck and held them tight in his fist. If he’d never left, if his dad had never had the accident, would things have happened differently? Would they have pulled her out as planned? Would she have pulled herself out knowing that she was pregnant?

  He opened his hand and studied the tags and ring he’d bought her. He needed to face the facts. A year without a word from her pretty much told him all he needed to know. He opened a drawer in his desk and let the chain fall inside. With a sigh, he realized he needed to call Wendy; she needed to be prepared for what was coming.

  Tessa rented a car to drive to Indian Springs from the airport rather than having her mother and Gib come pick her up. She thought it would be better to be by herself as she drove into her hometown for the first time in nearly ten years. She kept her mind as calm and empty as possible but it wasn’t easy. With every mile closer to town, memories came flooding back: some bad, of her father, some good, too, but painful because they revolved around Shane. So much of her memories of her hometown were tied to him, so much of her life.

  She forced the memories back. No use dwelling on them. She’d pushed Shane away and refused to contact him for over a year. Whatever chance they may have had was gone now. Besides, she was still messed up; she wouldn’t want to burden anyone with trying to figure her out.

  Keeping her eyes straight ahead as she drove through town, she still couldn’t keep memories from flooding her. By the time she pulled up to her mother’s house she was exhausted and emotionally drained.

  Mary was sitting on her front porch swing waiting for her. She didn’t see Gib, but she was sure he was there somewhere. It was still a little weird to think of him with her mother; that he was going to marry her mother and be her stepfather, but she was glad that it was working out for them. God knew someone in her life deserved to be happy.

  “There’s my girl,” Mary said, coming to embrace her.

  “Hi, Mama,” she replied.

  Mary cupped Tessa’s face in her hands and studied her. She was sporting a terrific tan thanks to her months on the beach, but she knew how tired she looked and knew that her mother saw it too.

  “I’ve missed you,” Mary said simply. Tessa was grateful that she didn’t start lecturing her.

  “Tessa,” Gib greeted her, stepping out onto the porch. “Bags in the trunk?”

  “Yes, thank you,” she said as he went to get them.

  “Come on, sweetie, let’s get you settled. Dinner will be ready in just a bit.”

  Tessa nodded and followed her mother inside to her old bedroom. She pointedly avoided looking at the porch swing as she passed, but not looking didn’t erase the memory of it. Shane had hung it for them when they moved in to this house when they were in high school. Her head began to pound. How would she survive being back here?

  “Honey, are you OK?” Mary asked when they got into her room.

  “I’m just tired,” she dismissed.

  “Tessa,” she began.

  “I’ll be fine, Mama, really. It was time for me to come home and stop running from my life. And I wanted to be here to see you and Gib get married. You deserve to be happy.”

  “As do you.”

  Tessa shrugged as she sat on her bed. “Some things just aren’t meant to be.”

  Mary shook her head. “I don’t believe that. Not one bit. Not for you and Shane. He loves you so much. It killed him to leave you at the hospital. He stayed for days after you threw him out. Being without you has devastated him. He lost weight. A lot of weight. He threw himself into two things when he came back, his job and the building of his new house. He’s better now but still not himself. He’s polite and courteous as always, but his eyes are troubled.”

  “I really don’t want to talk about Shane, Mama,” Tessa said wearily.

  “Honey, I’m just preparing you for what you’ll see and hear in town.”

  “Didn’t you say he’s dating again? Two women?”

  “Well, one was Ivy Sinclair, but they weren’t really dating. They are just good friends. Her football player boyfriend just moved to town so he doesn’t see as much of her anymore. The other one, though, is the new librarian. He’s been seeing her for about a month now.”

  “Well, there you go. He’s moved on. End of story.”

  Mary shook her head at her daughter. “What is wrong with you? Do not tell me you still blame him for what happened.”

  Tessa closed her eyes and drew a long, deep breath.

  “He’s better off without me, Mama. Trust me.”

  “I don’t believe that.”

  “I do.”

  “Tessa, honey -”

  “What’s up with the pity party, Soldier?” Gib asked, bringing her bags in.

  “Glen,” Mary admonished.

  “What? We’ve left her alone long enough. It’s time to get on with things, don’t you think?”

  “Gee, Gib, love you, too,” Tessa said, dryly.

  He winked at her. “There’s the Tessa I know.”

  She took a deep breath and reached out her hand to him. “I’m gettin’ there, Gib,” she said, squeezing his hand.

  “I know you are,” he returned.

  “Come on, dinner’s just about ready,” Mary said, standing.

  Tessa had been home for nearly two weeks when she finally decided she needed to stop being a coward and venture out of her mother’s house. For those two weeks, she stayed home, reconnecting with her mother and Gib, catching up on reports and paperwork she’d been neglecting regarding her upcoming testimony, and just adjusting to being back in Indian Springs. Her mother and Gib were planning to marry soon and take a honeymoon to England, so that they would be home in time for the start of the Helton’s trial. She wanted to be able to run the shop for her mother while they were gone. Therefore, when she came down to breakfast on the second Friday she was home, dressed and ready to go, conversation halted and they both stared openly
at her.

  “Good morning,” she greeted them. “Mama, I thought I’d come into the shop with you today, see where everything is so you and Gib can go on your Honeymoon worry-free.”

  She caught the quick glance her mother sent to Gib before she smiled big and bright at her.

  “That would be wonderful, Sweetie. I don’t have any weddings scheduled for that time frame but it would be nice to be able to have those times available should someone want them.”

  “We’ve got a few weeks until then. I haven’t forgotten how to do all the stuff for weddings. If anyone wants to book while you’re gone, I can do it.”

  Mary couldn’t hide the joy those words filled her with. Gib winked at Tessa and squeezed Mary’s hand.

  “So, what are you doing these days, Gib? I just realized I never really asked you that. I guess I haven’t been paying much attention to what’s been happening around me since I’ve been home.”

  He smiled. “I’m working at the Army recruiting offices some, helping new recruits get into shape. I’m also doing some consulting work for Mike Casiano, remember him?”

  Tessa nodded. “He was the head of that joint forces Task Force that some of the guys joined after we left. Coop and Whit and Colt. He is a SEAL, right?”

  “Yes. He and several members of that Task Force are out now and running a private securities firm. I’ve been helping them out with a few things here and there. Coop, Whit and Colt are part of the group. Keeps me busy but still gives me plenty of free time to be with Mary.”

  “Good all around, then. I’m glad you’re happy.”

  “Mike could probably use you on a few things. I could ask him, if you-”

  She shook her head. “No, that’s OK. My days of that kind of work are over.”

  “Tessa...you’re good at what you do. You shouldn’t...”

  “Gib, please, let’s not go there, all right?”

  “Are you ready to head into town?” Mary asked, pulling them away from the subject.

  “Sure. Let’s go.”

  Tessa grabbed the breakfast dishes from the table to rinse out in the sink and was surprised when Gib lightly touched her hand. She jumped and the mug she’d been holding slipped from her fingers and shattered on the tile floor.