Finding Home

by Ali Spooner

  Marissa ate a light meal, even though she did not feel much like eating and then walked into the bedroom to change clothes. She lit the bedside lamp and her eyes sparkled when she saw Nat’s gift lying on her pillow. She picked up the necklace and slipped it over her head holding onto the bear claws that until recently rested against Nat’s skin. Marissa sat down on the bed and picked up Nat’s pillow and held it to her face searching for the familiar scent of her lover. Marissa cried herself to sleep that night still clutching the pillow while her heart ached for Nat.

  Nat felt her head nodding and stood up to remove the feed bags from the animals. The rain was still coming down and she hoped it would let up before the morning came. Another day’s ride would bring her to the cabin and she didn’t look forward a ride in the rain. She put several large logs on the fire and with Gyp curled up beside her lay down to sleep. “Good night, my love,” she whispered to Marissa as she closed her eyes and let the sound of the rainfall lull her to sleep.

  Nat woke the next morning to the sound of Hardy stomping his feet. The rain had stopped during the night and he was anxious to get on the trail. Nat quickly replaced the packs on Buck and Quincy and then saddled Hardy. “I know, I am eager to get going too,” she said as she took a ham biscuit out and tossed it to Gyp. She took two others out and mounted Hardy. She would eat her breakfast on the trail to save a little more daylight. As it was, it would be near nightfall by the time they reached the cabin.

  With the rain gone, Nat listened to a chorus of birds and animals as they sang or called to their mates in the woods. Her spirits lifted as she listened to the soft creak of leather from her saddle and the gentle jingling of the metal traps packed on Buck.

  The trail turned into small hills after a momentary stop to water the animals and eat another of Marissa’s ham biscuits. Soon Nat knew she would cross a small river and then be just a few miles from the cabin. Her spirits lifted even higher when she heard an eagle cry as it soared over head. Not far from the cabin was an outcropping of rocks that had been home to a family of eagle’s for several years. Even Hardy’s steps seemed quicker after he heard the cry. He knew exactly where they were headed and she could feel the excitement quivering in his muscles as they grew closer.

  “It won’t be long now boys before you are grazing on some sweet clover,” Nat said as the sun started to fade.

  Even Gyp seemed excited, even though she had been such a young pup the last time she was at the cabin. She ran ahead of Nat and would rush back to hurry them on. Nat had not given any thought to anyone else being in the cabin, so as they got closer she looked for signs of recent travel. There were no hoof prints or boot prints that would indicated anyone had taken over the cabin, but still she cautiously rode into the small front yard.

  There was no fire burning in the fire place or in the outdoor fire pit. Nat’s eyes drifted to the end of the cabin where she had buried her father and was grateful that his grave was undisturbed. The small cross she had placed at the head of the rock mound was still securely in place. She smiled and dismounted Hardy. She would have to work quickly to get unpacked and tend to the animals before darkness overtook them.

  She carried the first of the large packs inside and lit the wood she had left in the fireplace. If anyone had followed her last visit, at least they were kind enough to lay a fire. Nat carried in the remainder of the packs and then took the saddle from Hardy’s back. She led the animals into a small fenced corral and closed a small gate behind them. The fence would not be a deterrent if any of them wanted out, but Nat knew that they would not wonder far from the cabin and a loud whistle would bring them trotting back.

  As she walked back to the cabin, Nat stopped at her father’s grave. “Hello, Father. I cannot begin to tell you how much I miss you,” she said. “My life has changed so much since you died and I have never been more confused in my life. I hope some time out here with you will help me sort through who it is I have become and where my life shall lead me.”

  Nat bent down and ran her fingers over the rough wood of the cross. “I love you, Father.” Nat then walked into the cabin and began to sort through her packs as she set up house in the small cabin. The small cots she and her father had slept on were still in place, much to her delight. She spread her bedroll out across it and began to unpack her food supplies.

  She located the small grate that fit into the fireplace and took the lid off a jar of the chowder to warm over the fire. She and Gyp would finish off the chicken and corn bread while the chowder would give them something hot in their bellies. Nat then picked up the bucket and made her way down the path to the small creek for fresh water. It had grown dark, but Nat had traveled the path so many times she knew exactly where to go. She dipped out a bucket of cold water and walked back to the cabin, with Gyp close on her heels.

  Tomorrow she would survey the streams and surrounding areas to determine if the beaver and other wild game seemed to be plentiful. Nat had hoped that she could reap her bounty here without having to travel any further away from Marissa.

  Nat and Gyp ate their meal and after cleaning up their dishes decided to call it an early night. The day on the trail had been long and they were both tired from their travels. Nat pulled the empty cot next to hers and laid a saddle blanket out for Gyp. She placed more wood on the fire to keep the fire going through the night. Nat took off her boots and belt holding her new knife and laid them on the cot beside Gyp. She stretched out onto the cot and stared up at the shadows dancing across the ceiling until the call of dreams enticed her to drift off to sleep.

  Gyp woke Nat the next morning licking her face. Nat nuzzled Gyp’s neck. “Do you need to go out?” she asked and Gyp raced for the door. “I will take that as a yes,” Nat said as she opened the door for Gyp. The cabin was ringed with verdant green plant life that glistened brightly beneath the early morning dew. Nat stepped into her boots and placed her knife on her belt as she watched Gyp race around, nose to the ground smelling the many scents of animals that had passed through the yard.

  Nat turned and walked back inside and foraged through the wrapped bundles to find three ham biscuits left. Gyp came trotting back inside. “This is it girl, one for you and two for me. After these, it is back to my cooking,” Nat said with a chuckle.

  Gyp took the biscuit from her hand gently as she sat down to eat. Nat bit into the biscuit and her mouth watered at the taste of the ham. It made her long for Marissa even more. “Maybe we should find us a wild boar so we can have ham,” Nat said to Gyp.

  She had become so used to speaking with humans over the past four months. It seemed strange to hear her own voice with no one there to answer. Gyp was a great companion, but Nat wished during moments like this that she could speak. “Okay maybe it isn’t such a good idea that you speak,” Nat said as she patted Gyp’s head. “You would probably keep me up all night talking.”

  Nat ate half of the last biscuit and gave the remainder to Gyp. She drank a glass of water and looked at Gyp. “Are you ready to get to work?” she asked.

  Gyp ran out the door and waited at the top of the steps as Nat bent down to pick up her rifle. “Let’s go,” she said and started off down a path. The cabin was ideal for a trapper. Three of its sides were close to three separate small creeks which joined together a mile away to form the river where Nat’s father had been killed. Nat walked down to the first creek and looked for signs of beaver dams. There were plenty of saplings that had been hewn by the beaver’s sharp teeth and Nat walked a hundred yard more down to find several damns that looked fresh. She traveled to the other two creeks and found the same evidence. On her way back to the cabin she listened for a familiar hum.

  She heard what she was looking for and turned to Gyp. “You stay here,” she said. Gyp dropped on her haunches and sat obediently as Nat walked further into the woods. “I was hoping you were still here,” she said as she approached a large split tree. She cautiously peeked inside and saw a mass of honey bees swarming as they worked. “I will be back
for you later,” Nat said as she turned back to Gyp.

  “We are going to have us some honey, Gyp,” she said and Gyp danced to her feet. It was still early morning, so Nat took a half a dozen traps and walked to where her father had been killed. The spot where she had burned the bear carcass was filled in with new grass with just a faint hint of evidence that the ground here had been scorched. Nat worked for an hour, setting the traps and then walked back to the cabin. “Let’s go sit down by the creek and see what we can shoot for dinner tonight,” she said to Gyp.

  Gyp followed Nat down to the water’s edge and they sat patiently watching small animals come to drink. Nat’s thoughts drifted to memories of Marissa as she sat dazed against a small tree. Gyp licked her hand to bring her back to reality as a large rabbit sat up on its hind legs staring at them.

  “Rabbit stew it is,” Nat said as she lifted her rifle and killed the rabbit.

  Gyp bounded off ahead of her and sniffed around the dead rabbit, “With some potatoes and carrots that should taste just fine,” Nat said as she picked up the rabbit.

  Gyp sat patiently on the porch as she watched Nat skin the rabbit and prepare it for the stew pot. The rabbit was still lean from winter, but if would provide ample meat for their stew for a few days. Nat put the meat into the stew pot and hung the pelt to dry.

  She cut up a few of the potatoes and carrots from her stores and left them soaking in water. There was still plenty of daylight left as she and Gyp went in search of more firewood. Nat picked up the axe and her rifle. She used a narrow strip of buckskin to fashion a strap to the rifle so she could carry it over her shoulder, leaving her hands free to carry an armload of wood. She had seen a few trees behind the cabin that had fallen during the winter snows that she would chop first for their fireplace.

  Nat chopped for nearly an hour, separating the fallen trees into sections she could carry back to the cabin. She stacked the small logs beside the cabin door and returned to split and carry the larger sections of the trunks. As the sun started to fade, Nat took the axe and returned to the cabin, smiling at the sizeable stack of wood she was able to bring in. She placed the axe and her rifle inside and walked to the creek for a fresh bucket of water. She poured water into Gyp’s bowl and into her cup as she rested from the labor. She added another few cups to the cooking stew and dropped the vegetables in with the meat.

  She then mixed up a batch of cornmeal and placed a skillet into the fireplace to bake. It would be awhile before dinner was ready, so Nat looked at Gyp. “Should we go steal some honey?” she asked.

  Gyp heard the word go and bounded to the door. Nat picked up the glass jar she had emptied the night before that still held a small amount of water and walked to the door. She made a long torch using a tree limb with an oily cloth wrapped around the end and lit it as she and Gyp walked to the honey tree. “You will have to stay back,” Nat said. “I don’t want you stung by angry bees.”

  Gyp sat patiently as she watched her master approach the tree. Nat poured a small amount of the water on the torch to make the oily cloth smoke. She then lifted the torch into the heart of the tree and ducked as an angry swarm of honey bees flew from the hive. Nat quickly poured the water from the jar and dunked it into the sticky, sweet honey, careful to break off a small portion of the comb to place inside the jar. When the jar was full, Nat moved quickly away from the tree and she and Gyp rushed back to the house. She extinguished the torch and rested it beside the cabin to wait for their next raid.

  Nat took the jar inside and wiped the side that was coated with the sweet honey and lifted it to her lips. “Mm this is sweet,” she said and watched Gyp’s body wiggle with anticipation. Nat ran her fingers through the sweet liquid and offered her fingers to Gyp who licked them with great appreciation of the tasty treat. Nat placed the metal lid on the jar and sat it in the middle of the table.

  Nat returned to the porch and picked up an alder branch that she had found earlier that day. She returned to the cabin and took a chair over to the fireplace to sit and began skinning the light bark from the limb. She carefully shaved the limb and stopped every few minutes to drop the shavings into the fire. She would make this into a walking stick for Maggie, she decided as she sat back and enjoyed the smell of the cooking food. Each night, before she retired for the evening she would add another carving onto the stick, she promised herself. It would make a beautiful gift for Maggie and would help her pass the time during the long nights ahead.

  When Nat had skinned the bark, she carefully held the stick over the heat of the fireplace. As the wood heated, it turned a darker shade that would make Nat’s carving’s stand out more prominently on the wood. By the time she had finished staining the stick, the cornbread had risen and the stew was ready for dinner. Nat carefully propped the stick next to the fireplace and dished out hearty portions of the stew for their dinner. She placed the frying pan on the table and cut the cornbread into four large slices. She removed Gyp’s corn bread to cool and then crumbled it on top of the stew, before settling in to her own meal.

  “It’s not too bad, huh, Gyp?” Nat asked.

  Gyp was busily devouring the meal and did not even look up at the sound of her name. “Must not be too bad,” Nat said with a chuckle.

  Nat cleaned the dishes and took the stew from the fire as she prepared to retire for the evening. They would have cornbread and honey for breakfast the next morning and Nat would bake biscuits for leftover stew the following evening.

  Tired, but satisfied with the day’s accomplishments, Nat took off her boots and lay down on the cot. Gyp jumped onto the cot beside her and curled up next to Nat. “Good night Marissa,” Nat whispered. Gyp whimpered lowly, sensing Nat’s loneliness and Nat reached over to run her fingers through Gyp’s fur. “Everything is going to be all right, Gyp,” she said softly to herself and her companion.

  PART NINETEEN

  Nat spent the next few weeks, trapping and treating the pelts she was able to harvest. Each night she would sit by the fire and carve on the walking stick, whittling away the time. Her longing for Marissa did not fade and as the days grew longer, Nat found herself thinking of home.

  Nat spent a good deal of time talking to Nathan’s grave while she worked on her pelts. She knew her father could not answer her directly, but being near to him made Nat think like Nathan. As her heart grew unbearably lonesome, Nat knew her decision was made. Nathan loved the wild, even more deeply after her mother had died, but he had taught her that no matter what, Nat should follow her heart. Nat had no doubt, that she loved the life that Nathan had taught her and it was a life she knew well, but without him or Marissa, it wasn’t the life she yearned for.

  The more she thought about Maggie’s suggestion, to harvest ocean life and do some trapping near home while working for Smithy, the more excited she was about going home. She had several good weeks and she was sure the quality of the pelts was exceptional and Smithy would give a fair price for them, especially this early in the season.

  On a sunny morning a month after she had left home, Nat collected her traps and prepared for the trip home. She would leave the following morning and spent the day setting up her packs and topping off her supply of honey. She had not killed the wild boar she had hoped for, but there would be plenty of time to hunt once she returned home. Even better, she and Marissa could raise their own pig for slaughter if they added a small pen.

  That evening, Nat packed up the last of her cooking utensils. She would eat leftover biscuits and jerky on her two day trip home. It wasn’t a hearty meal, but Nat knew she would more than make up for it with Marissa’s home cooking soon.

  Gyp too, seemed excited about traveling. She danced around Nat’s heels as she walked to and from the woods to the cabin re-stocking wood. She doubted she would return to the cabin for a long time, but she wanted the next person to stumble across it to be properly welcomed.

  They ate the last portion of a pheasant Nat had shot with cornbread. When Nat was done, she sat by the fire and pic
ked up the walking stick. During her weeks in the woods, Nat had carved numerous animals deep into the smooth wood and she was pleased with the final product. Maggie would be honored with the gift and would use it often in their future journeys together.

  When dawn arrived the following morning, Nat had to wake Gyp who was still softly snoring on her cot. “It is time to start for home lazy bones,” Nat teased as she pulled her boots on.