Ordinary Problems of a College Vampire (Vampire Innocent Book 7)

by Matthew S. Cox

  This may or may not be wise, but I accept the handshake.

  “Remember, no injuries. He’s kinda old. That includes giving him a heart attack. No permanent damage.”

  Blix holds up his right hand as if swearing an oath.

  “Great.”

  The little guy looks at me and emits a gurgling ‘ooo’ noise that gives off a sense of questioning.

  “You want to know what happened?”

  He nods.

  I explain about the cocoa stand and Neidermayer calling the cops. Blix narrows his eyes, gives me a firm nod, and zips back into the closet. Okay. Guess that’s that then? I head downstairs, wondering where on the scale of grandiose mistakes making deals with an imp ranks… probably somewhere between saying ‘whatever you want’ to a child picking a movie to watch and starting a land war in Asia.

  Clicking from Dad’s office tells me he’s in there working, so I change course to bring him up to date.

  I lean in the door. “Hey.”

  “Morning?” He looks up from his screen, one eyebrow raised in question.

  “I’ve been up for a little while. You know about the hot cocoa stand?”

  “Yeah. The kids saw this ad on TV for a veteran’s charity or some such. Not the worst thing they could be doing with their afternoon.”

  I jab a thumb toward the front of the house. “Our jackass neighbor called the cops on them.”

  “Aww crap.” Dad rolls back in his chair, about to stand. “They busted my dealers? It’s only a matter of time before they trace the supply back to me. I’m the Heisenberg of hot cocoa.”

  “Nah, it’s handled. The cops were really cool about it. Most of the force showed up to buy a cup. Good thing you bought an industrial quantity.”

  He sinks back into the seat, chuckling. “Well, you know my motto. Anything worth doing is worth overdoing.”

  “They still have an entire unopened case. We have enough hot chocolate that I could drink one cup a day for the rest of my existence and probably still not run out.”

  Dad snickers. “So, the kids are good?”

  “Yeah. Just thought you should know what happened.”

  Sam walks in, squeezing past me into the office. “Dad? The girls are cold and wanna come inside. Can you help with the table?”

  “Sure.” He gets up.

  “Right. I’m gonna retreat from the inferno. Be downstairs if anyone needs me.”

  And yeah, I just bribed a minor demon with a video game to play pranks on an old guy. Is that bad? Do imps legit count as demons? Wow. It blows my mind that I’m even asking myself these questions. Another good thing about being a vampire? I can have a double-portion mug of hot cocoa without guilt.

  The sun sets at a few minutes to five that night.

  My foray into the light has left me hungry, so I duck out of the house and go for a fly into Seattle. Tonight’s class is philosophy and sociology, which starts at eight. Out of laziness, I bring my books with me to avoid having to make another back-and-forth trip home before going to school.

  A delivery driver emerging from the kitchen entrance of a restaurant in downtown Seattle with an empty hand truck makes for a convenient meal. I follow him into the back of his truck and pull the door down for some privacy. He whirls, but succumbs to my mental influence before he can yell at me. Among boxes of various breads and buns, I clamp on and feed. His blood tastes like a grilled chicken, bacon, and cheese sandwich—probably because the area outside smells like that.

  After finishing, I head out via the front passenger side door, slip into the shadowy alley between the restaurant and the next building, and go back into the air, heading for Glim’s usual haunt. An afternoon of trading texts with Ashley, Michelle, and Hunter has put me in a lonely mood since they’re all busy again. It makes me feel like a total slacker to be sitting around at home all afternoon while everyone I consider a friend—or more—is out there busting their butt. Maybe it’s too harsh of me to call myself a lazy slug. It’s not as if much choice is involved. As a vampire, it really isn’t feasible for me to be out and about when the sun’s up, or working a real job. So, I am kinda stuck in my room at least until the sun goes down. No one thinks a guy in a wheelchair is being lazy for not taking the stairs. Would they expect a dead girl to get a day job?

  I swoop in to land beside Glim on his favorite roof. The breeze has a distinct chill tonight, enough that my breaths make foggy puffs. Not really sure how that works since I don’t have to breathe anymore. But, my body does have warmth while I’m conscious, so it has to be part of the living illusion. Or something. I’ve been to alternate dimensions. Little weird things my body does shouldn’t surprise me at all.

  “Hello, Sarah,” says Glim, not looking at me.

  “Something wrong?” I plop down to sit beside him.

  “Not really. Ana Maria and her new man got into a fight earlier. It’s fine, nothing abnormal. Just reminded me of arguments we had sometimes.” He lets out a long, heavy sigh. “The heaviest weights on the heart are those moments in time I can’t go back to undo.”

  Ugh. I put an arm around him. “What did you guys fight about?”

  “The worst one happened a day before I left to go overseas. She knew I couldn’t just say no and resign from the Army, but she still wanted me to try. It’s almost like she sensed she’d never see me again. Ana Maria spent the whole next morning moody. Didn’t speak to me again until like ten minutes before I had to go out the door.”

  “I’m sorry.”

  “Thanks. You seem troubled as well.”

  “Ehh.” I shrug. “I might have made a deal with a demon. Not sure if I messed up.”

  He blinks at me.

  I explain what happened with Neidermayer.

  Glim laughs. “I think your eternal soul is safe.”

  “Blix is a weird imp. He doesn’t seem so driven to constantly prank everyone. It’s like he just wants to play video games with my little brother. And weirder still, Sam can understand him when he talks.”

  “The imp most likely bestowed the knowledge of its language on Sam.”

  I glance over at him. “Are there French or Spanish imps? I gotta take two years of a language and I’m really not looking forward to that.”

  “Not sure about imps, but I’ve heard rumors that some Academics can transfer knowledge via paranormal means.”

  “What, like they make a potion or something and people drink and know things?”

  “Essentially. Though I’m not sure it takes the form of potions. Could be blood transfer or telepathy. You should ask Dalton, too. Those who pass along the Transference can also impart knowledge along the sire-progeny mind link.”

  Tempting… but asking favors from an elder sounds even more dangerous than bribing an imp. And Dalton? Yeah, maybe if I needed to learn a Cockney accent for school. No idea if he knows any other languages. Speaking of which, I’m going to need to find a way to make some cash. Can’t really ask the parents to cover my deal with Blix, and the money I earned from my last part time job is pretty much gone.

  “Is there a moralistic difference between compelling someone to hand me a hundred bucks or compelling someone to hire me for a night?”

  “Probably, though it’s splitting hairs. I think you’ll find that the longer you remain around as a vampire, the looser your opinions become regarding mortals.”

  I frown at the night sky… and the first traces of snow starting to fall. Tiny white flecks drift around in front of the vast blackness of the Universe. “Hope not. At least, I don’t see myself getting jaded.”

  “Would you stick a piece of bread around your little brother’s head and put that photograph on the internet for amusement?”

  “Hah. Maybe.”

  He chuckles. “You were supposed to say no so I could reply with ‘but you’d do that to your cat without thinking about it.’”

  “I don’t have a cat. Well… maybe we do.” Somehow, Sophia has managed to keep it hidden from the parents. At least, if the
y are aware of it and an argument happened, it went down while I slept.

  “Oh?”

  I tell him about Sophia and the mystics and the kitten, which gets him laughing. “So anyway, I promised to get the imp a video game if he played tricks on the jackass neighbor. Trying to decide if I should basically shoplift the game or encourage someone to give me a temporary job. Both feel like stealing. But the job option seems less bad. Can’t figure out what I could do that pays under the table right away and won’t require a long-term commitment. And no, I’m not dancing in a strip club.”

  “Glad to hear that.” He flashes a fanged grin. “Hmm. You could wait tables or wash dishes at a small restaurant for cash. Babysitting even.”

  “That’s a thought. Oh, maybe I’ll make the manager at Mi Tierra let me work there for a night or two. That way, I get to be around Hunter a little more.”

  “Just remember to pay attention to the job in that case.” He winks.

  “Yeah.” Snow flurries against the dark sky strike me as oddly mesmerizing, occupying my brain for a minute or two before another thought crashes in from the side. “Oh, did you find out anything more about the LA thing?”

  He leans back, nodding. “Yes. The situation there is somewhat different. While the traditionalists maintain a society along the lines of what you’re used to seeing here, Southern California also has a surprising number of individual groups that constantly war over territory. They tend to be on the younger side, both as vampires and in appearance. Some are anarchists, others merely adore the fighting.”

  “So, basically gangs… but vampires?”

  “Yeah, that’s a reasonably accurate analogy. In fact, many of them trade in drugs purely for the financial gain.”

  I lean forward and bury my face in my hands. “Crap. Dalton, what the hell did you do?”

  “Considering the number of different groups at each other’s throats down there, men like Dalton have no shortage of opportunity to make money or kill boredom.”

  “You think he stole drugs?” I groan and flop over backward, staring up into the sky. “He’s kind of a sketchy sorta guy, but his heart’s in the right place. I can’t see him doing that.”

  Something in his family’s apartment distracts Glim for a few minutes. Eventually, he pulls his attention off the window and back to me. “I was thinking more along the lines of mercenary type work. Participating in the territorial wars for profit or the excitement of it. Perhaps he owed someone a favor? Regardless of what one does in that case, it’s guaranteed to make enemies. And it sounds like he made some enemies.”

  “Darn.” I groan again. “He must’ve done something bad if they threatened me all the way back here.”

  “Probably.”

  I pick at my jeans. “That guy threw me around pretty easily. When I got mad and charged at him, he like totally owned me. Should I get used to feeling so weak? Is that like an Innocent thing or just an age-as-vampire thing?”

  “Perhaps a bit of both. I’m hardly an authority on your bloodline, but I think the ‘weakness’ that is commonly attributed to the Innocents largely involves other powers.”

  “Other powers?”

  He falls quiet a moment watching his wife’s apartment, then looks at me. “All vampires have the common traits of being stronger, faster, and tougher than mortals. In terms of sheer physicality, I don’t think the Innocents are at a great disadvantage. Each bloodline has a proclivity toward various additional powers beyond that. Academics become inhumanly intelligent or delve into mysticism. The Old Guard often have charming powers. Beasts and Furies are endowed with additional strength above and beyond normal vampires, and so on.”

  “So, basically, you’re telling me I’m a multi-class character who never gets access to high-circle spells?”

  He blinks. “I’m afraid you have utterly stumped me with that analogy.”

  “Heh. My Dad and Sierra like roleplaying games. Some characters have really powerful abilities but if you mix two different character types together into a hybrid, you can’t access the big guns so to speak. You’re trying to tell me that as an Innocent, I should be fairly even with any other vampire for speed and strength, I just don’t get the super fancy stuff like turning into a wolf or mist or mind-controlling an entire room at once.”

  “More or less, yes. But, again, you are the first Innocent I’ve ever met in person.”

  “Yay me. I’m a celebrity.”

  He chuckles.

  “Do we keep getting stronger and faster the older we get or is there like a, umm, plateau where we hit full maturity?”

  “Typically, a vampire reaches nominal physical prowess about twenty years after the Transference. Though, extremely old ones have been known to possess even greater strength. I’m unsure if that is due to intrinsic nature or some other form of temporary boost.”

  “Right. Okay. So, wow. Yeah. I really am still a baby. I haven’t even existed for twenty years as a mortal.”

  “Your plan to stay out of the spotlight is a good one. Vampires who call attention to themselves seldom last long in the grand scheme of things.”

  “Yeah, but my plan isn’t exactly working out too well. How the hell did they find me anyway? Or even know I exist?” I peer up at him. “That’s kinda unnerving.”

  Glim reaches out, catching a snowflake on the tip of his finger. It perches there, not melting, gleaming in the moonlight. “There is most likely an Academic involved.”

  “So they ‘scienced’ me out of thin air?”

  He chuckles. “Not all Academics pursue scientific fields considered legitimate. Some are much like the mystics you have tentatively befriended.”

  “Oh great.” I sit up and catch a snowflake, too. Watching it melt as soon as it touches my finger makes me awkwardly aware of being simultaneously alive and dead. I’m Schrodinger’s teenager.

  “That would also mean they likely had access to Dalton’s blood. Someone with that knowledge could ‘read’ the blood to discover any other vampires with whom the subject has a direct connection. Sires, progeny, even thralls.”

  My fascination with the snow dies as fast as the molten flake on my finger. I wipe my hand on my jeans, sit up, and fold my arms across the tops of my knees. “So that’s how they found me. Should I be worried? I really don’t have any idea where he is or what he did.”

  “If they do have an Academic with those talents, they could likely use your blood as a means to attack Dalton.”

  “Umm. That sounds bad.” I cringe. “Probably painful.”

  Glim rubs my back. “It wouldn’t kill him, or you… though it would be highly unpleasant for you both. I can ask if any Shadows in Los Angeles are aware of what’s going on.”

  “Thank you.” I lean over and wrap my arms around him. An unexpected surge of gratitude and relief makes me cling tight. He’s neither my father, my boyfriend, my best friend—that’s Ashley—nor my older brother, but some inexplicable combination of all four. With him, I can talk about anything, even the vampire bits that Dad or Hunter couldn’t possibly understand. For no reason I can understand, talking to him is even easier than Aurélie. Wait, no… I can understand it. She feels so far above me in age and social status, I’m constantly afraid of offending her or coming off as a helpless mooch. “Now I feel guilty.”

  “About?”

  I sit back from the hug and pull my hair off my face to smile at him. “I’m always asking you for help and never doing anything really for you… other than bringing beer sometimes.”

  Glim turns his head toward me, the moonlight playing off his brutal features—but the ghoulishness of his presence doesn’t register. Despite the grey skin, elongated teeth, glowing yellow eyes, and lack of hair… I can easily picture the man he used to be. Anthony Chavez is still very much inside that body.

  “You are my friend.” He grasps my hand. “That is already a gift beyond measure.”

  “Aww.” I hug him again. “Still though, it’s like I’m taking advantage.”


  “This might sound belittling…”

  I laugh. “No problem. I get it. I’m new.”

  “Iraq has the kind of daytime sunlight that teaches mortals what it feels like to be a vampire.” He grins. “Many times when my unit was out doing things, it felt like I was about to evaporate from heat. So there we are, and this little boy shows up. And you’d be wondering, what on Earth could this six-year-old child do to help a group of highly trained, heavily armed soldiers. Well, that kid had a wagon with water bottles. Walked right out in the middle of a dangerous street where he could’ve been shot to bring us water.”

  “This is a comparison to me bringing you beer?” I smile.

  “A bit. Both you and that boy ended up stuck in the middle of a bad situation through no fault of your own.”

  I shrug. “I’m not an emo-pire. What I am isn’t a bad situation. It’s kinda cool.”

  “I meant the LA thing.” He wags his eyebrows. “And now that you mention it, I am kind of thirsty.”

  “Hah.” I pull out my phone. “Okay. I have time before class. Be right back. Ooh!”

  “What?” He raises both eyebrows.

  “Just got an idea for how I could earn a little cash. Delivering pizza by air.”

  Glim throws his head back and laughs, startling a few people down in the parking lot. They look around but don’t appear able to see us.

  Heh. That’s a neat trick. Making people not see him—or anyone near him. One of those neato abilities I’ll never have. But hey, at least it’s comforting to know I won’t need to spend the rest of eternity feeling weak. That guy had to be older than me by a good margin. Cool. My confidence is back, but I’m still annoyed at Dalton even though I doubt he intended to drag me into this situation.

  The least my vampiric sire could do is return my voicemail.

  12

  Living Precariously

  On the way out of school Thursday night, my phone rings.

  With everything going on, the sudden noise and vibration causes me to jump and emit a yelp. A few other students look over at me with varying degrees of concern or amusement. Blushing, I pause under a tree on the sidewalk to answer. Seeing Hunter’s face on the incoming call screen sets off a mixture of elation and worry. Dalton still hasn’t called me back or even texted, but I’m happy to talk to my boyfriend.