Ordinary Problems of a College Vampire (Vampire Innocent Book 7)

by Matthew S. Cox

  “Hey,” I say by way of answering. “What’s up?”

  “I don’t have to be at the restaurant tonight. Wondered if you wanted to go out.”

  It’s hard not to bounce with glee. “Sweet! Yeah. What did you wanna do?”

  We toss several ideas around, but I can’t ask him to spend a ton of cash he doesn’t have. And I don’t mean him paying for me. We cover ourselves. I meant paying for himself at some places is a strain on his budget. A fun night is a worthwhile escape, but he’s already stretching it thin money wise. I end up nudging him to a simple date: dinner at a sit-down Chinese place in Woodinville. It’s not much more expensive than ordering take out, and the food’s way better. After we eat, we’ll probably do the movie thing at home.

  I agree to meet him at his house, then fly home to drop off my backpack and change into something a little less casual than a T-shirt and jeans. While gliding in over the cul-de-sac, I notice Mr. Neidermayer’s house is glowing. Every single light inside the place is on and a steady stream of shouted curses leak out the windows. The old man’s dropping some choice profanity tonight. Enough to wilt the flowers in earshot.

  Oh, my innocent ears.

  Curiosity pulls me in for a closer look. Going by the shouting, I head for the window where it’s loudest and peer in. Neidermayer, in a tank top, boxer briefs, and a bathrobe, storms down the hall waving a golf club over his head. I’m not sure what he’s chasing, but he runs full on into a doorway covered in clear plastic film, bounces off, and lands flat on his back. For a few seconds, he makes no attempt to move or get up, then lets out this horrendous scream of rage.

  It’s almost enough to make me feel guilty, but not quite. Hopefully, my ‘no harm’ rule means the imp won’t give him a heart attack.

  He gets up and chops at the plastic wrap with the golf club.

  Looks like Mr. Neidermayer’s in for a fun night.

  Snickering to myself, I glide home to change.

  With echoes of Sierra yelling at Sophia to help her find a missing sneaker rattling around in my head, I fly the relatively short distance to Hunter’s house. I can’t help it but hum that song Defying Gravity on the way. It’s easy to spot the house from the air. The place is huge, but in bad shape. It’s hardly about to collapse in on itself, but it definitely looks like it needs a significant amount of work or at least a pressure wash.

  Hunter’s waiting outside by his Buick. I land in the trees on the left side of the house to minimize the chances any neighbors see me, and walk out to meet him. We kiss for a little while, then get into his car and drive to the restaurant while talking about this and that. Our conversation is pretty mundane. No need to bother him with anything about Dalton, imps, or a whole gang of vampires from LA with their knickers in a twist. I do tell him about the neighbor though.

  “Pretty sure Blix did something to the wiring that all the lights are stuck on.”

  He laughs himself almost to tears. “Poor guy.”

  “Not so much. He’s a real piece of work. Mean as heck to the kids.”

  “Think tormenting him is going to teach him a lesson or only make him meaner?” asks Hunter.

  “Unless he starts causing physical harm to kids, I don’t think it’s possible he could become meaner.”

  “Wow. That bad?”

  For the last few minutes of the ride, and in between looking over menus, I share several stories about various times that old guy made me cry when I was little, or shouted at Sierra, Sophia, and Sam. There used to be a boy, Kevin, in the cul-de-sac who moved away when I was like twelve. He went to war one whole summer with Mr. Neidermayer after the man stole a soccer ball that strayed into the yard by accident. Fireworks, baseballs through windows, paper baggies full of dog poop lit on fire at the front door, all sorts of stuff.

  “Wow,” says Hunter. “That guy ought to move into one of those fifty-five plus places that don’t allow kids.”

  “Or put up an isolation fence.” I shake my head. “Just can’t understand what makes people so miserable they need to suck the joy out of other people’s lives, especially kids.”

  “Well, some kids can be terrors. Couple houses up from mine, family there used to have a pack of four who’d run around shredding flowerbeds or ripping up lawns with their bikes on purpose.”

  “That’s different. Yelling at delinquents like that is understandable. This guy just screams at kids for having the audacity to exist.”

  The waiter brings our food over. Orange chicken for him. I got beef lo mein. It really is amazing how subtly different eat-in Chinese food is.

  “So, about Ronan…”

  He looks up, worried.

  “Oh, nothing’s wrong. I was just thinking how he’s so quiet and kinda flinchy. Do you think I should try getting rid of his memories of your father entirely? Would he be happier?”

  Hunter teases his fork at a breaded lump of chicken, thinking. “I don’t know. Who would he even be if all his memories are happy? He’d totally change. Maybe that would be better for him. Mom would probably be thrilled to see him come out of his shell. But, is that fair to do?”

  “My dilemma exactly. Is it cruel to leave those memories in there when I have the ability to remove them, or is it more wrong to tamper?”

  “There probably wouldn’t be much left if you removed that stuff. It would be like he went from toddler to ten in an instant.” Hunter lets out a sad chuckle. “He’s just quiet. I don’t think he’s in any trouble. Actually, he’s starting to come around a bit. Sam’s the first real friend he’s ever had. That’s helping a ton.”

  I grin. “Cool. My brother doesn’t usually make friends that fast. It’s like he expects us to stay together. To him, you and Ronan are already part of the family, so hanging out with him is no big deal. Sam’s even shown your brother his imp.”

  Hunter coughs, then cracks up.

  “Oh, for… why does everyone take that the wrong way?” I roll my eyes. “The actual imp.”

  “I know.” He dabs a napkin at his mouth. “It just sounds funny. Seriously though, Ro didn’t flip out?”

  “No. Blix even brings him across the mirrorverse.”

  He nearly drops his fork. “Say what?”

  “Shortcut to come over and hang out. They go into a mirror at your house and come out of one at mine.”

  Hunter does this rapid blink thing and ends up staring at me like he’s been lobotomized.

  Hmm. Maybe I should make him forget I mentioned that?

  “Whoa. That’s real?”

  “I know, right?” I exhale. “I’m still trying to sort out if I believe it even though I’ve been there, too.”

  “He’s been hanging out at your house a lot, which is cool since my mom is never home now and I’m busy as hell.”

  Ugh. I twirl lo mein noodles onto my fork. I’d try to use chopsticks, but I’m merely a vampire with superhuman dexterity. “Okay, another question.”

  “Yes.”

  “Huh?”

  “You’re going to ask me if I want to go back to your place after dinner.”

  “That’s already asked and answered.” I wink.

  “Your mother is a lawyer.”

  “Yeah, so?”

  He chuckles. “Asked and answered sounds like something from a legal movie.”

  “Oh. Yeah. Mom says that sometimes.” I biff myself in the head. “Guess I absorbed it. No, what I was going to ask… do you want me to maybe help your mom get a better job so she doesn’t have to work two of them?”

  “Umm.” Hunter shrugs. “If you want. Isn’t that kinda like stealing, or bad?”

  “I dunno. It’s not benefiting me personally, so it doesn’t make me feel guilty.”

  “How would that even work?”

  “Hmm.” I eat a few forkfuls while pondering the best way to do this. “Okay. Got it. For now, let’s leave your mother out of the supernatural loop. So, we’ll need to be a little sneaky. Encourage her to apply for a job she wants that’ll be enough income. When sh
e does, you tell me where it is and I’ll go talk to whoever is going to make the hiring decision.”

  Hunter wags his empty fork at me until he finishes chewing. “She’s been turned down so much I don’t think she has the nerve to try anymore. What if I can’t convince her to interview?”

  “Up to you, but I could give her a nudge, too.”

  A hint of a grimace appears before he can override his face reacting to his brain. “Let me try to talk to her first.”

  “It’s okay. I understand exactly how you feel. The idea of tinkering with my family’s brains is ick to me, too. You have my word I’ll never do anything you don’t know about and want.”

  He smiles. “Cool. So, wow. You can, uhh, just talk them into hiring her?”

  “Yep.”

  “That’s kinda weird to think about.” Hunter stares as though he’s trying to figure out what to make of me. “It says a lot about who you are that you don’t run wild with the ability to get people to do whatever you want.”

  I point my fork at him. “When you first approached me in the admissions office, I told you my life was complicated.”

  “Complicated.” He chuckles. “I don’t think that word means what you think it does.”

  That makes me giggle. “Someone’s been watching old movies.”

  “Yeah. I figured it would help me the next time I ended up in a conversation with your dad.”

  Laughter almost makes me choke on lo mein. Fortunately, I don’t need air—but, my body still objects to noodles going down the trachea.

  “You certainly did say that. At the time, I didn’t entirely understand what you meant. Now that I do… nothing’s changed.” He grins. “I’m still the happiest I’ve ever been.”

  Warmth blooms inside my chest, tinged with guilt. Who am I to take this boy away from a normal girl who could give him a normal life? My smile must be giving away more than I want it to, because his expression goes from adoring to concerned.

  “Something’s bothering you?”

  “Dalton…” I suppress a sigh. “He did something in LA that’s stirring up trouble for me. No idea what happened down there, but I had a knuckle-dragger show up to give me attitude over it, as if I would somehow know everything about where he is.”

  “Uh oh. That doesn’t sound good. How can I help?”

  My turn to grimace. “I’m not sure it’s possible for anyone to help with this.” Of course, by ‘anyone,’ I mean mortals. “He hasn’t even called me. I’m honestly not involved at all, so I don’t think it’s going to be an issue. Though, something weird is going on at the house.”

  “Like?”

  “Stuff missing. Lost a sock the other day. Mom’s car keys vanished. Dad had a figurine on his computer desk that walked away. Might be a bored ghost or maybe Sophia’s new hobby is causing unintentional side effects.”

  Hunter nods, already aware of my sister’s developing magical abilities. Maybe I shouldn’t say stuff like that over the phone so freely. Can’t help it. Wanting to hear the sound of his voice gets me saying anything I can think of to keep talking. Over the rest of dinner, I fill him in on what’s happening with the LA vampire situation, the threat, being followed, and so on.

  “I’m worried about you, Sarah. Maybe I can’t do anything to help, but you should talk to that woman who’s taken a liking to you.”

  I stare at my empty plate. That tasted awesome, but noodle mush is going to feel funky later coming out. “Yeah, maybe. I’ve got a small confession to get off my chest.”

  “Uh oh.” He chuckles, but it sounds more nervous than amused.

  “It feels like our relationship is unfair to you. And before you freak out—no. I don’t want to break up with you at all. I love you, Hunter. I just feel guilty about it. Things are never going to be normal for us. It’s gonna get super awkward in a few decades. And, being around me could put you in danger.”

  He slides a hand across the table and grasps mine. “I’m okay with whatever risks are involved. You’re totally worth any danger. Even if we have to play weird games in public when I look old enough to be your grandfather, there’s nothing anyone could offer me to walk away from having you in my life.”

  My eyes tear up a bit from happiness and I damn near crawl over the table to cuddle with him. “So, umm, wanna head back to my place. Netflix and chill?”

  Hunter flashes a big grin.

  “Actually… I’m kinda being literal. I wanna snuggle with you and watch something.”

  His grin doesn’t shrink. “Cool. Can’t think of a better way to spend our night.”

  13

  Eww

  So, yeah. Things escalated, and I hadn’t planned on it. Honest.

  Literal Netflix and chill turned into metaphorical Netflix and chill. I’m presently lying in bed naked with Hunter beside me, also naked. There’s almost a sheet on top of us. Soon after he fell asleep, I had to sneak away to the bathroom for reasons. Chinese reasons. Fortunately, it did not burn. Also took a shower to deal with certain other issues related to what we did.

  While I literally can’t sleep at night, it is comfortable and relaxing to simply rest. Also, having Hunter here with me is reassuring in the way a teddy bear is. And, much like a teddy bear, if some Los Angeles vampire shows up to cause trouble, there isn’t a whole lot that he’d be able to do about it.

  Still, I adore being with him.

  A few soft creaks pique my ears, but it could be the house shifting in the wind. Of course, it could also be one of Dalton’s new ‘friends’ coming to attack me. Ever since Glim said they could do weird things with my blood, the worry they might want to kidnap me has been lingering at the back of my mind. With any luck, that phenomenon that lets women lift cars off their children works for vampires, too.

  I’m about to hop out of bed and sprout my claws when my bedroom door flies open and Sierra runs in sobbing. Time drags to a near standstill as my vampiric reflexes kick up into combat mode. Instead of clawing someone’s face off, I grab the sheet and yank it up to cover Hunter, while mentally scolding myself for not pestering Dad to replace this doorknob with one that has a lock.

  Apparently, the warning sock I hung outside the door has also gone missing. Though, given Sierra’s present emotional state, I’m not sure she would have cared about that. She leaps onto the bed and lands hugging me. It’s only slightly embarrassing. Sierra has, after all, seen me with no clothes on occasion. That’s happened a few times when we’ve gone camping and ended up changing into swimsuits in the same tent. Also, four kids in a house with two bathrooms is bound to have the occasional lack of privacy during emergencies.

  However, having her clinging to me in tears while I’m naked feels way wrong.

  I stare into her eyes and put her brain on pause. She goes from freaking out to a mannequin in an instant. After extricating myself from her grip, I throw on a long T-shirt, adjust the blankets to completely cover Hunter, then sit on the edge of the bed and alter Sierra’s memory to see us as wearing clothes the whole time. She didn’t consciously realize the nudity in front of her due to her terrified emotional state, but I’m not taking any chances. Nope. My kid sister lives in a G-rated world until she’s in her thirties. At least if I have anything to say about it.

  Now that the bare essentials are covered, I sit on the edge of the bed, grasping Sierra by the shoulders. “Okay, you may continue your meltdown.” A small mental prod takes her off ‘pause.’

  She resumes bawling. I hold her for a little while, patting her back until she calms enough to blubber about having a nightmare that she got caught in a school shooting. My eleven-year-old sister trembles while telling me about how she scrambled to crawl into a storage cubby already full of other kids while gunfire went off outside in the hall. She woke up right as a shadow fell over the window in the door.

  “Just a dream.” I hug her, rocking side to side.

  Sobbing fades to soft crying for a little while, then silence. “I’m being a baby.”

  “It
’s okay. That sounds scary as hell.”

  She leans back, wiping her face, her expression total frustration. “I’m acting like a little kid having a bad dream.”

  I grasp her head in both hands and look into her eyes. “Sierra, it’s fine. Those drills are traumatizing. They scared the heck out of me, too. I know it’s hard, but try not to let it get to you. Nothing’s gonna happen.”

  “Sure. Nothing’s gonna happen. That’s the same thing they said at every place where it’s happened.” She shivers.

  The most frustrating thing about this is that I can’t think of a single person to blame. I want to be furious at whoever created this world in which little kids are acutely aware of their own mortality and think that any single day they go to school might be the last time they ever see their parents or friends alive. My kid sister should not be waking up in the middle of the night freaking out about this. I’m way more heartbroken at the terror in her eyes than I am over my death.

  I hug her tight. In the privacy of my basement bedroom, with no parents, other siblings, or friends to see her, Sierra lets her guard down and clings like the frightened child she really is inside. Eventually, she relaxes her grip and stares into space.

  “Hey. Don’t worry too much. We have Coralie, remember? She told me you’re not going to be hurt at school. And, if something else is going to happen, she’ll warn us.”

  Sierra looks up at me, relief in her eyes. “Oh. Yeah. I forgot.” She exhales hard. “Duh. Stupid little kid with bad dreams.”

  “At least you’re not afraid of a big pom-pom.”

  She laughs. “Seriously. Where did she ever come up with that? Umm, sorry for just running in when Hunter’s here.”

  “It’s okay. I was up anyway.”