The Desperate Bride’s Diet Club

by Alison Sherlock

  Violet was smiling but felt nervous. Yet it was a fluttery kind of nervous. As if this were a good thing, an important step. After all, wasn’t this what everyone else did in their twenties? Went out and had a good time? Violet had managed to get through almost a whole decade without having any kind of good time.

  ‘Lucy and Edward are meeting us there,’ said Maggie.

  ‘Where are we going?’ asked Violet.

  ‘Zizzi’s for pizza and on to that club at the top of town.’

  ‘You mean The Zone?’ said Kathy, her eyebrows shooting upwards. ‘Aren’t we a bit mutton?’

  ‘Never!’ said Maggie with a grin.

  She was masking her slight disappointment at having to miss her Friday night’s dancing with Gordon. But Lucy was leaving at the weekend and then they’d have all the time in the world.

  They met Lucy and some of her college friends at the pizza place. Lucy gave them a hug, already a little merry after a cocktail or two. Maggie, Kathy and Violet sat at the other end of the table from the teenagers and ordered a bottle of wine.

  ‘Edward texted me,’ shouted Lucy from the other end of the table. ‘He’s stuck at work but he’s hoping to come along later.’

  Seeing Kathy’s shoulders droop, Maggie immediately poured out a large glass of wine for each of them. The wine helped the conversation flow, closely followed by the laughter.

  Violet ate the pizza and tried not to think about the calorie content.

  Kathy was also looking concerned but Maggie thought that this wasn’t about the calories and decided to change the subject.

  ‘So how’re the wedding plans?’ she said to Violet.

  Violet swallowed a piece of gloriously cheesy pizza. ‘Sebastian’s mother’s doing most of the organising so I haven’t had much to do, to be honest.’

  ‘Lucky you,’ said Maggie. ‘It can be quite stressful organising a wedding.’

  Violet kept quiet.

  Kathy said, ‘But you’d probably quite like to have a hand in your own wedding, wouldn’t you?’

  After a beat, Violet nodded.

  ‘Can’t you have a word with your fiancé?’ said Maggie.

  ‘He’s happy with his mother taking charge,’ said Violet, putting down her knife and fork. ‘I shouldn’t have eaten that.’

  Kathy frowned. ‘Once in a while isn’t bad,’ she said.

  But Violet was still looking upset. ‘I’ve got to do this. I’ve got to get to my goal weight.’

  Maggie and Kathy exchanged a look at Violet’s stressed tone.

  ‘You’re doing really well,’ Maggie told her.

  ‘You don’t understand …’ said Violet, leaving her voice to trail off.

  Maggie and Kathy kept quiet and sipped on their wine, waiting for Violet to speak. But in the end, Violet shrugged and gave them a small smile.

  ‘It doesn’t matter,’ she said.

  ‘Tell us,’ said Kathy. ‘You know you can trust us.’

  ‘It’s not that,’ said Violet, before taking a deep breath. ‘Sebastian cheated on me.’

  There was a sharp intake of breath across the table.

  ‘When?’ they said, trying to keep their voices low.

  ‘Easter. Look, it’s OK. We’re engaged now and he’s committed to me.’

  ‘Should be bloody committed to hard labour for cheating on you,’ muttered Kathy.

  ‘How did you find out?’ asked Maggie.

  Violet sighed. ‘She rang me.’

  ‘What a cow!’ spat Kathy.

  Violet shrugged her shoulders. ‘She was drunk. Apparently she never meant to hurt me.’

  ‘I still don’t understand why eating that pizza would upset you,’ said Maggie.

  Violet shook her head. ‘Don’t you see? If I’m slim and good-looking then our marriage will work.’

  Maggie frowned. ‘Surely it’s not all about looks?’

  ‘No. Yes. I don’t know,’ said Violet. ‘Anyway, he loves me and that’s all that matters.’

  ‘If you can trust him,’ said Kathy.

  ‘I shouldn’t have said anything,’ said Violet, looking close to tears.

  ‘We won’t talk about it again if you don’t want to,’ said Maggie.

  Violet nodded, unable to speak for a minute. She should have kept quiet.. After all, it wouldn’t make a difference. Besides, there were no other threats now. She and Sebastian were fine.

  ‘Can’t wait to have a bit of a boogie tonight,’ said Kathy, trying to cheer up the conversation. ‘Get my moves practised for your wedding.’

  ‘What entertainment have you got for the evening?’ asked Maggie.

  Violet blew out a long sigh. ‘Sebastian’s cousin has been booked as a DJ.’

  ‘Great,’ said Maggie.

  ‘Not unless you like doing the Macarena,’ said Violet, before taking a gulp of wine.

  Maggie and Kathy drew the conversation back to the shop, telling tales of retail hell. All the time they kept filling up Violet’s wine glass until she began to smile again.

  By the time they left the restaurant, Violet wasn’t the only one feeling a little tipsy. Lucy was beyond merry and well on her way to drunk and disorderly but she wanted to go dancing so they followed her to the nightclub.

  Violet hadn’t been into a nightclub for a very long time. And then she had only lasted half an hour during a Christmas party many years previously. It had been a miserable time but at least it was dark in there.

  To her surprise, she found she didn’t want to leave. She wanted to stay and dance away her troubles. Maggie and Kathy’s reaction to Sebastian’s betrayal had, in a small way, confirmed her fears that it had been a big deal and she had been right to be cross with him at the time. But that was all in the past now.

  She trusted them with her secret as well. After all, they had all shared shocking things along the way. Violet felt she was amongst friends and was safe.

  She caught her reflection in the mirrored walls as she entered the nightclub. She felt happier every time she caught sight of herself, she realised. How things had changed. How much she had changed.

  The music pumped out as they hit the large, dark room. They headed for the bar and Violet downed an overpriced Bacardi Breezer to steady her nerves. Lucy and her friends were already on the dance floor and were gesturing for Violet, Kathy and Maggie to join them.

  Violet carefully negotiated the sticky black floor in her high heels but she found that if she kept her feet still and wiggled everything else, no one noticed. Not that there was too much room to dance properly. It was Friday night and the place was jumping.

  They all sang along with Beyoncé about her Single Ladies. Beyoncé and her bootylicious body. That was Violet’s aim. She didn’t want to be stick thin like Victoria Beckham. And she wasn’t sure that was even achievable. But Beyoncé’s curves were.

  Violet hadn’t drunk that much, just enough to take the edge off her nerves and relax her. She was enjoying herself. She was dancing! In public! Bits of her were still wobbling, she could feel them. But she didn’t care.

  Violet had missed out on this and so much more. On life, in fact. And she felt alive now. Really alive.

  The beat went on. As the hours passed by and more Bacardi was downed, Violet finally lost her inhibitions and danced as if she would never stop. She lost herself in the music, thinking that it was her kind of workout. She’d always enjoyed music but it was great to relax and just dance.

  ‘Damn girl,’ shouted Kathy in her ear. ‘You’ve got some moves.’

  Violet smiled and carried on dancing. She’d just sung along to Lady Gaga with the others. She was born this way, said the lyrics. Perhaps she was. Reborn to become whatever she wanted to be.

  Sometime later, Violet left the girls to head to the ladies’ but it was a real crush on the dance floor now. She had trouble squeezing through everyone.

  A large man nearby made some extravagant dance move with his hands and knocked Violet into another man’s chest. She slipped in her hi
gh heels and lost her balance. The man’s arms came out to hold her as she stood chest to chest with him.

  Violet looked up and found Mark staring down at her.

  ‘Hello,’ he shouted.

  ‘Hi,’ she replied, very aware of his close proximity and trying to draw back a little. But she couldn’t back completely away due to the press of the crowd. She was so near to him she could smell his aftershave, a sensual fusion of spices and citrus.

  ‘You OK?’ he asked. ‘Did that guy hurt you?’

  She shook her head. ‘What are you doing here?’ she mouthed at him.

  ‘Out with the football team,’ he said, his eyes burning into hers. ‘I was watching you on the dance floor.’

  Violet felt her cheeks grow warm.

  ‘You look great,’ he shouted in her ear.

  ‘So do you.’

  The words were out of Violet’s mouth before she could stop herself.

  But it was true. He was wearing a short-sleeved navy shirt which showed off his muscly arms and a broad chest. Someone knocked into Violet from behind and she was once more crushed against Mark’s chest.

  She looked up into his eyes and was suddenly conscious of breathing heavily. He seemed to fill the room with his height and wide shoulders. Even with her high heels on, he was still taller than she was. With Sebastian she had to stoop a little, with Mark she had to stare up.

  Someone bumped into them once again and Violet automatically put her hands out against his chest to steady herself. Under her fingers, his chest felt hard with muscle.

  They stared at each other, no longer keeping up the pretence of small talk. Mark looked at Violet and she realised he was going to kiss her. And she was going to let him. Right here. Right now.

  Their faces began to draw closer. Her pulse was thumping now. The beat and music faded away until it was only him. She could think of nothing else.

  He was staring at her mouth and then back into her eyes. She could barely breathe for the anticipation of Mark kissing her.

  ‘Hello!’ boomed a male voice at them. ‘I thought it was you!’

  Violet turned her face to find Edward standing next to them and quickly drew away from Mark.

  ‘Hi,’ she stammered, her face still flushed.

  ‘Hiya!’ screamed Lucy, staggering over to join them. ‘Mum and Kathy are over there!’

  Edward headed over to the others.

  Violet glanced back at Mark who was still gazing at her, his eyes burning into hers.

  ‘You on your way to the ladies’?’ slurred Lucy.

  ‘Yes,’ said Violet, finally tearing her eyes away from Mark’s.

  ‘Who are you?’ said Lucy, squinting at him.

  ‘Violet’s boss,’ he shouted, glancing at Violet. ‘I was just doing a staff appraisal.’

  ‘You what?’ said Lucy. She was completely smashed by now.

  Violet took her arm and dragged her in the direction of the toilets. And away from Mark.

  It would be fine, she told herself. Mark must have had a few beers. She had also drunk quite a lot. Blame it on the alcohol. It would be fine, she repeated to herself.

  Kathy was also telling her pulse to slow down. It shouldn’t have raced so fast when she spotted Edward ploughing his way through the crowds. But it did. He only had two stone left to lose and thanks to his many hours at the gym, his body was becoming more striking by the day. Kathy spotted quite a few girls watching him with approval.

  Unfortunately, her happiness was short lived because they had to leave soon afterwards. Lucy had been sick and that was their cue to go.

  The taxi dropped off Kathy and Violet first before heading back towards Maggie’s home.

  ‘I feel great!’ slurred Lucy, her head in her mother’s lap.

  ‘You won’t tomorrow,’ said Maggie, stroking her daughter’s hair with a smile.

  She was determined not to cry when Lucy finally left for London. But Maggie knew she was bound to.

  ‘I’m never going back to being fat,’ Lucy carried on. ‘I feel too good.’

  ‘You don’t think it’s all those Bacardi Breezers that made you feel like that?’

  Lucy giggled. ‘Those bitches that bullied me. They’re nothing, are they?’

  ‘No, love. They’re not.’

  ‘I’m nine stone!’ said Lucy.

  ‘And beautiful,’ Maggie told her daughter with a smile.

  ‘Shame Edward came so late.’

  ‘Something to do with his work. But there’ll be other times.’

  ‘Kathy seemed fed up.’

  ‘She’ll be OK.’

  ‘Who was that bloke with Violet? Was that her fiancé?’

  ‘No. She said it was her boss from work.’ Maggie thought back to the man she had seen briefly through the crowd. ‘Must have been the Italian one. He was gorgeous.’

  ‘Bit old for me, Mum,’ said Lucy, with a yawn.

  ‘I wasn’t thinking of you,’ said Maggie, remembering the look on Violet’s face as she had stood so close to him.

  Chapter Forty-two

  ‘GOING TO THE chapel and I’m gonna get married,’ Violet hummed as she walked into work on Monday morning. Over and over again, she played the tune in her head. And tried to ignore her heart.

  ‘I’m getting married,’ she told herself. ‘Me. Violet Saunders. Fat, worthless Violet becoming Mrs Fabulous Parkes.’

  And then she gave herself a good ticking off. She was no longer fat and she certainly wasn’t worthless.

  Her mind flicked back to Mark on Friday night. Mark standing so close she could feel his breath on her cheek. Mark’s lips getting closer. She shook her head and sped up her walk. If she pounded the pavement hard enough, she could crush these stupid thoughts that kept spilling into her mind.

  She sat down at her desk and watched Mark stalk past without even a greeting. She stared at his bottom until he disappeared out of sight into his office.

  ‘I’m getting married,’ muttered Violet, finally drawing her eyes away from Mark’s office door. She was marrying Sebastian. She loved Sebastian. He was everything. She was nothing without him.

  Except, Violet realised, she wasn’t nothing. She wasn’t a useless lump. She had a life that she was really enjoying these days.

  ‘I need a decent coffee not from that vending machine,’ shouted Mark from his office door. ‘Anyone want one?’

  ‘Are you paying?’ asked Julie.

  ‘Sounds like it,’ he muttered, before taking their orders. ‘Violet can help me carry them back.’

  Violet gulped. She had really been hoping to avoid any one-to-one conversation with Mark that day. But, as usual, she couldn’t say no, so she found herself meekly following him out of the building.

  ‘Your friend was having a good time on Friday night,’ he said, breaking the silence as they walked along the street.

  ‘Lucy? She’s off to university so we were giving her a proper send-off.’

  This was OK. She had just bumped into him on Friday night in a crowded nightclub. That was all. They could converse like adults. There was nothing to be ashamed about.

  ‘What’s she studying?’

  ‘Fashion design. She’s making my wedding dress for me.’

  He grunted but said nothing as they turned into the small alleyway leading up to Nonna’s delicatessen.

  ‘Buongiorno!’ he said to everyone behind the counter as they went in. He turned to Violet. ‘I’m half asleep this morning. Do you want to grab a quick ristretto before we head back with the rest of the coffees?’

  Violet nodded. She hadn’t slept very well either since Friday night.

  Mark gave the man behind the counter his order and they waited in silence as he crashed about with the coffee machine. After a couple of minutes, he handed them each a tiny espresso cup full of dark liquid. It was the famous ristretto he had told her about. Like espresso, it was only a shot of coffee. But it had far more guts than espresso. Violet downed the coffee in one gulp and then shuddered as she fel
t the caffeine coursing through her veins.

  ‘What do you think?’ said Mark, who had been watching her and waiting for a reaction.

  ‘I think I’ve just had an electric shock,’ Violet replied, her eyes clicking wide open.

  She was just putting her cup back on to the counter when Nonna came rushing up to them, greeting them with Italian words and kisses.

  ‘Buongiorno,’ she said to Violet, kissing her on both cheeks. ‘Come sta?’

  Normally Violet would have just nodded but, thanks to her evening class, she now knew that she had been asked how she was and the also knew the reply she should give.

  ‘Bene, grazie.’

  ‘Ah!’ yelled Nonna, before glancing across to Mark who was staring at Violet in amazement.

  But before he could speak, Nonna was rattling off more questions to Violet and they were able to hold a tentative conversation in Italian. Violet asked about limoncello, the lemon liqueur she had seen listed in a recipe for a healthy cheesecake. Nonna went on for so long about recipes that could include limoncello that Mark went off to order and pay for the coffees whilst they carried on.

  Once he had walked out of earshot, Nonna appeared to change tack. Violet managed to understand most of what she was saying, including Nonna’s rant about how none of Mark’s girlfriends so far had been good enough for him.

  Violet had forgotten the existence of Mark’s many ex-girlfriends until then. According to the office gossip, there was a new woman in his life every couple of months and they were always fabulous-looking. But then again, why would he be single?

  Seeing Mark returning to them, Nonna changed subject swiftly and asked Violet about Sebastian and the wedding. Violet was just talking about her wedding dress when Mark came to stand next to her, holding a tray of coffee cups.

  ‘We’d better head back,’ he told her.

  Violet said goodbye to Nonna who gave her a warm hug and told her to come back soon.

  ‘That was surprising,’ said Mark as they walked away.

  Violet shrugged. ‘She always tells me to come back soon,’ she told him with a sly smile.

  ‘You know exactly what I’m getting at,’ he told her, narrowing his eyes. ‘You’ve been learning Italian.’

  ‘Evening class,’ she told him. ‘It helps me order the right things from Nonna. I now know my polenta from my passata.’