Evan's Addiction

by Sara Hess

  Raising his head he expelled a breath and stared down at me with hot, somber eyes. “Last night it had been forever since I’d touched you and I couldn’t control myself. But Shaw, I want it to be clear in your head that I’m seeing you for you and not just for sex. I think this is important for both of us. Neither one of us has had a real relationship, going slow will cement something between us that isn’t based on sex.”

  He’d said basically the same thing to me last night but I guess I hadn’t accepted his words as genuine. People, and especially guys, said a lot of things they don’t really mean.

  “You really want to wait?” My legs dropped back to the ground, and an emotion I couldn’t define took root in my chest.

  A look of disgruntlement flickered across Evan’s face when my legs fell away and his hands seized my rear holding me in place. “Actually, I want you right now with every cell in my body.” He growled, causing tingles to spread…everywhere. “But I’m willing to hold off so our relationship can be founded on something real, something you won’t question. Especially since I screwed up so badly last time.” He stroked a finger over my brow and gave me a regretful look. “I’m still kicking my ass for not realizing you were a virgin, being too rough, and for forgetting to use protection.”

  This was a road I really didn’t want to go down. That night was still a sore spot for me. Shifting uneasily I plastered on a face of scornful unconcern. “You weren’t rough, and I was more worried about STD’s.”

  A low growl emanated from his throat as he continued to stare down at me penetratingly. “I’m clean, never gone without a condom before in my life…before you. Please don’t throw up a blasé facade when I know you had to be worried about a possible pregnancy as well. I’m sorry I caused you any concern with any of that. I want you to know that I’m going to be more attentive to your wellbeing from now on.”

  Intense, personal conversations weren’t my specialty and had me gulping uneasily, but hearing him proclaim his concern so ardently and feeling his hands stroking my back like he was attempting to soothe me had me focusing more on that than my discomfort.

  I gave a nonchalant shrug. “I appreciate the apology, but protection is a two way street.” Since Evan had apologized I could now accept my part in the no protection fiasco. “Remember when I said I learn better by example; well, I covered myself on any further pregnancies by going on the pill.” I poked him in the chest. “And since I tested negative on diseases that puts you in the free and clear.”

  His gaze searched mine intently for a moment and I wondered if he realized he was still softly stroking my face. “You told me over the phone that you would make certain you didn’t get pregnant; what did you do to make sure?”

  I couldn’t stop my brows from rising at that unexpected question. “Why do you care; as long as I’m not pregnant?”

  Evan’s brows lowered and I didn’t miss the clear displeasure on his features. “I care because I don’t want you having any lingering…issues if you had to do something you might not have wanted to in an effort to make sure you weren’t going to end up pregnant.”

  “I took Plan B since I wasn’t on the pill at the time, and no…I’m not having any issues from taking it. What kind of issues are you talking about; like side effects?” I was confused by his line of questioning.

  Evan jerked me gently into him, his frown deepening. “I hadn’t thought of that. Did you; are you?”

  I cocked my head. “Noooo, but thanks for asking.”

  I thought I detected a smidgen of relief in his features. “I’m glad. Now what about psychological side effects? Did taking the Plan B go against any…beliefs you have?”

  Beliefs? Was he talking about religious beliefs? I’d been dealing with too many emotions at that time to reflect on my feelings on terminating a possible pregnancy.

  “Uh…no, not really. I took it like an hour later so I didn’t feel like I was…” I shrugged self-consciously. “You know…ending a life or anything. If I found out I was pregnant two weeks later I don’t know what I would have done, or felt.” I’m glad I hadn’t had to find out.

  He pulled me flush against him, hugging me close. “That’s good to hear too. I’ve been worried that you might be harboring with some heavy guilt over what you might have had to do.”

  I stood immobile in his embrace processing his words. He’d been worried this whole time about how I was dealing with terminating a possible pregnancy? That was…well, I wasn’t sure what it was, but it made me feel really good knowing he’d been concerned. Not too many people gave a shit about my feelings.

  “Hey, you didn’t finish your food. Are you still hungry? Do you want to warm up your dinner and finish watching the rest of the movie?”

  Evan’s sudden topic change left me reeling a little. “Uh, no, I’m done. You wouldn’t by chance want it, would you?” He’d eaten all his food but I’d seen how much he could eat.

  “Only if you don’t want it.” He smirked.

  “Go ahead Hover, but you’re going to have to let go of my butt.”

  “I don’t know, I thought I’d leave my hand there for the rest of the night.” His brow rose like he was asking my permission.

  Chuckling, aching, I gave him a small push. “Sounds like you want to make us both combust together.”

  Giving me a wicked grin and one last squeeze he snagged my plate and stepped over to the microwave. I stared at his butt as he walked away and sighed in regret. Evan’s idea of going slow was sweet, but it was going to be really hard to wait to see him naked again.

  CHAPTER SIXTEEN

  EVAN

  It was Saturday and I’d set up a weekend of fun for Shaw. This was our fifth date and all we’d been able to do up to his point was after work dinner dates. With work and school both of us were pretty busy.

  Wednesday we’d spent another night at her apartment eating in because Shaw said she had school work she’d needed to get done. Unsure if she was attempting to pull away again I’d convinced her to allow me to come over with takeout, something healthy, and my own school work. She’d hesitated at first but eventually yielded.

  When we’d finished our course work we’d put in the second Harry Potter movie, but instead of watching it we’d talked some more and then made out for about twenty minutes. I’d almost busted a load in my pants but called it quits before that happened. I’d already done that Monday and twice in one week was twice too many. I’d gone home and jacked off as an alternative.

  Thursday had been similar to Wednesday, but on Friday I’d taken her out for that dinner we’d missed on Tuesday. Shaw had worn the yellow dress again since she only had the two. She’d seemed slightly embarrassed at having to wear it again but I assured her she still looked great in it, and I hadn’t been lying.

  The evening had been kind of tense and I could tell Shaw was ill at ease sitting in the restaurant. I had thought taking her to an expensive restaurant would be a step toward showing her how much she meant to me, but she’d only been uncomfortable the entire time. It had reminded me how on edge she’d been at Landon’s wedding and I’d realized that being around signs of wealth made her feel out of place. At first I’d thought it was because she was unused to it, but then I recalled several of the critical remarks she’d made about being trailer trash.

  It had taken all my control to keep my wrath buried. Shaw deserved the best; deserve to be spoiled. The people in her life had really done a number on her, ripping her self-worth to shreds. She cultivated this tough exterior, but deep inside I could see that there was a little girl starving for love and acceptance.

  During the dinner I’d tried my best to make her comfortable and forget where she was, and I’d even gotten a few chuckles from her, but when we’d left I didn’t miss the huge sigh she’d expelled. She’d been relieved to get out of there.

  This weekend I had something more casual planned. Last night after dinner while Shaw had changed out of her dress I’d called Landon, who’d just gotten back from
his honeymoon, for a favor, and then after several more texts I’d made plans for a bunch of us to go to Virginia Beach to spend the weekend at the McKay’s beach home. It was a place many of us had gone before because Landon used to have parties there all the time, but Shaw had never been there yet.

  When she’d come back out I’d informed her of the plans, omitting my part in them. She’d been uncertain at first, but I’d pressured her with kisses and just the right amount of pleading, and eventually she’s caved.

  So here I was, eight o’clock in the morning, knocking on her apartment, ready to get Shaw to the beach, in a bathing suit, and having fun. I’d made it my mission to bring more fun into her life, because the girl had been hiding herself away too long. During our talks I’d ascertained that Carrie and David were her only true friends. Nic had worked his way into her life as an ally, but I wanted her to start considering all my friends hers as well.

  The door opened and Nic stood there in shorts and a t-shirt, the same as me, but sporting a smirk. “Well, if it isn’t, Mr. Calendar.”

  Scowling at the thought of Shaw hearing that I pushed past him and glanced around. Seeing that she wasn’t in the room I snapped. “Says Mr. Pussy Whipped.”

  He closed the door not losing his smirk. “Better rethink how you say that, it could end up being your new name pretty soon. I mean, look how quickly you threw together this weekend for Shaw.”

  “It wasn’t just for her.” I disputed, and I had no problem lying to him. “The weather’s great and a day at the beach was called for.”

  He ambled past me waving his hand and laughing. “Denial is reeking from you.” Before I could say anything to that he moved on to another subject. “Hey, did you and Shaw want to hitch a ride with me and Carrie?”

  “Nope.” I answered resolutely. I wanted to spend as much time alone with Shaw as I could. My swift response had Nic glancing back at me in surprise, and then amusement. “Sounds like that name change isn’t far off.”

  “I’m just looking forward to driving my Camaro.” I justified.

  “So Carrie and I could go with you instead.” Nic smirked and raised his eyebrow.

  “Nope.” I repeated.

  Nic snorted.

  The subject of name changes had me remembering Shaw’s name change and that put a shadow on my good mood. I can’t believe someone had actually named her Patty McDonald. I really wanted to find that person and strangle them slowly.

  “How are things going between the two of you; still slow?” Nic broke me from my homicidal thoughts. He walked into the kitchen to grab a glass of chocolate milk sitting on the counter.

  I stepped up to the counter separating the kitchen from the living. “Slow and torturous, but good.” With a quick glance down the hallway to make certain it was clear I leaned over the counter and whispered. “How in the hell did you do it? It’s only been a few days and I’m barely holding onto my control. Shaw just has to touch my arm and it’s like a direct link to my dick. I don’t know how much longer I can hold out.” I knew Nic had gone weeks without having sex with Carrie and I needed some advice.

  Nic almost snorted out his milk. After a couple seconds he was able to answer with a coughing laugh. “That’s what your hands for, dude…to get you through.”

  I shook my head in disgust. “Believe me, I’ve been using it, but it doesn’t seem to be helping. Shit, I had a real dry spell this summer working all those hours for Dan and I got well acquainted with my hand, but my dick is ready to fucking revolt.”

  Nic coughed out another laugh. “I don’t know what to tell you, man. Maybe you need to switch lotions?”

  I gave him an evil glare that only had him laughing harder. “Thanks for your counsel Master-bator Kenobi.” I got an eye-roll for that. Shaw would have liked it. “Hey, I’ve noticed the two of you haven’t been anywhere near the apartment this whole week. I appreciate it.”

  “That was Carrie’s idea.”

  I frowned. “I’d think she’d be hovering to make sure I was treating Shaw with silk gloves.”

  “I thought she would too, but she had a talk with Shaw and whatever was said between the two of them had her jumping back on the Evan train. She’s trying to give you two all the space you need to work things out.”

  I had noticed that Carrie’s manner toward me at Wednesday’s lunch had sweetened considerably. I wondered what Shaw had said to her.

  Nic must have been reading my mind. “I doubt Shaw had to say much. You know how forgiving Carrie is, and she was hoping you two were getting together before. She sees this as a second chance.”

  A door open down the hall and we turned simultaneously to see Shaw and Carrie step out of Shaw’s bedroom with small overnight bags. Both were wearing shorts and tank tops with their hair up; Shaw’s in her usual top bun.

  I was looking forward to seeing it wet and trailing down her back later.

  “You girls ready for the beach?” I exclaimed cheerfully moving toward Shaw.

  “I can’t wait to get in the water.” Carrie smiled in excitement gravitating toward Nic.

  I knew Carrie would live there if given the chance, and I wouldn’t be surprised if Nic moved her there or bought her a beach house so she could be there as much as she wanted. The girl was going into Marine Biology so her love of water fit into her career move.

  I took Shaw’s bag from her. “Are you looking forward to getting in the ocean again?”

  “Yeah.” She smiled hesitantly but I could see the anticipation in her eyes.

  Grabbing her nape I pulled her forward for a deep kiss. Shaw’s hand came up to push me away, probably because Nic and Carrie were watching, but it turned half-hearted as my tongue and lips devoured her. Desire hit me hard and swift but I held onto my control. When I pulled back her face was flushed with arousal and embarrassment.

  “Evan…” she growled.

  I interrupted her with a grin. “Your body is seventy-five percent water and I was really thirsty.”

  Nic and Carrie laughed, and Shaw’s lips pursed holding back a smile. “Your body is one-hundred percent bullshit and you stink.”

  “I thought I smelled something ripe when you walked in.” Nic jumped in.

  Carrie coughed. “Oh my, god. It is rather overpowering.”

  The three of them were unrelenting in their ragging as we poured out of the apartment into our separate vehicles. As I assisted her into my Camaro I observed her frown of confusion at the switch in vehicles.

  “Thank god that’s over with.” I blew out an exaggerated breath of relief as I started the car, revving the engine.

  Shaw rolled down the window. “Do you smell that; something stinks in here?”

  I shook my head with a grin. “You should really rethink your major, because bathroom comedy is really calling your name.”

  She snorted and it was cute as hell. From the apartment to the car she’d relaxed noticeably and I was pleased as shit to see it. This was how I wanted her to remain for the whole weekend; hell, for forever.

  “Why are you driving this car? Is something wrong with yours?”

  “This is my car.” I followed Nic out of the parking area.

  Surprise crossed her face. “Why do you have two cars? Why do you need two cars?”

  “I’ve had this car since my sophomore year of high school. She’s my first car, my second love after my mother.” I patted the dash. “She’s a 1968 Camaro Rally Sport. I’ve put a lot of work into her.”

  Because of my father I’d always been interested in many things having to do with racing. Soon after getting my license I’d found the car for a bargain. I’d asked mom for the four thousand dollars to purchase her, and then asked her for another two to fix her up enough to win my first few races. After that I’d worked on the car with the winnings I’d made from the races I won.

  “Why would you buy another car if you have this one?” She frowned.

  “I needed a car that didn’t scream wild and reckless race car driver.” My Camaro is ele
ctric blue with vinyls all over it, one of them my dad’s racing number, and I wasn’t about to paint over it. “The people I work with need to see me as mature.”

  “If only they knew.” She smirked. “So, you used to race this car?”

  “Yeah.” Not too long ago either.

  “And you won a lot of races?” She tilted my way appearing to check out the dash.

  “More than I lost.” In fact, I was pretty well known in my circles for winning and guys had been biting at the bit to prove they were better drivers than me.

  “What makes this car better than others, or is it the driver?”

  I could hear real curiosity in her tone, not polite or forced interest. The previous females in that seat had shown interest as well but it had been obligatory, or asked with an overload of sexual nuance. I knew Shaw enough to discern she wouldn’t fake anything, and knowing she was truly interested was a major fucking turn on.

  “Both are important in winning races.” I answered, and then I went into a few details on what made one engine better than another. Shaw listened and asked questions and that only verified how intelligent and genuine she was.

  Shit, I was getting a hard-on driving down the road talking about cars.

  I stopped at a drive-through for breakfast; ordering a couple breakfast sandwiches for myself and one for Shaw, as well as drinks.

  “So, who’s going to be there this weekend?” Shaw asked as I inched through the drive-through line.

  “All I know for certain is all the guys and their perspective girlfriends, but Maya and Landon could have invited more. They are just back from their honeymoon so Dan and Maya’s mom and stepdad might show up. Their daughter for sure. Nadia will most likely bring her sister and brother, and Nic is picking up Samantha. After that I’m not sure.”

  Landon had thought the party a great idea since they’d been gone for so long; a way for them to reconnect and see everyone, so I wouldn’t be surprised if quite a few other people were invited. Maybe even the Cruz brothers. And wasn’t that an uplifting thought.

  I’d called in that favor for Juan and he’d returned the call a week later expressing his gratitude all over again. Marx Racing had been impressed by his ability behind the wheel and were giving him the opportunity to climb the ranks like every other driver. He was going to be provided a car, a small crew, and funds for backing, wages, and parts. Juan had been over the moon with shocked exhilaration.