Evan's Addiction

by Sara Hess

  If they showed he’d better prove his gratitude by keeping himself and his brothers far away from Shaw.

  “I’ve been wondering how the case against Carol has been going?” Shaw asked as we got back on the road.

  Swallowing my bite of English muffin, egg and sausage, I answered. “It’s still up in the air because the guys in the wind.”

  Shaw scowled. “They still haven’t caught him? What the hell? I do all that work and they can’t stake out a guy and catch him. Do they at least have a picture of him and posting it at all airports and other locations where he could slip out of the country? They need to put him on America’s most wanted. Leaving Carol to take the wrap….what a douche-shit-bag. When they catch him I hope they stick him with a bunch of ass lovers who will teach him a lesson about fucking with people.”

  Her ferocity and law-and-order lingo had me grinning in amusement. She didn’t know Carol at all, but she was pissed that the woman had gotten played. My grin faded though as it processed that her life had probably made her more sensitive to the idea of people getting screwed over. It was amazing that she could empathize and wasn’t utterly desensitized by it. She hadn’t let life break her.

  “You know, with the way you stick up for Carrie, and for Carol who you don’t even know, I would think you would have more girlfriends. I can understand your aversion to guy friends, but why don’t you have any other girlfriends, Shaw?”

  I hadn’t wanted to put a downer on this weekend, and I hope I wasn’t, but I had to know why she felt the need to cut off the entire human race.

  She didn’t look mad at my question or stiffen-up, thankfully, but she did sigh sadly.

  Shit, I definitely didn’t want her sad.

  Reaching over I gripped her leg and gave it a gentle squeeze. “Forget I asked. You’re such an amazing friend to Carrie and David I think you should spread that around to others, and give them the chance to have your back. I know you hang with Samantha sometimes and have given her slot in your life. I thought you were getting closer to Nadia, Maya, and Amanda, maybe even Gabby, and I hope you can give them all a chance this weekend. I don’t know Gabby all that well, but I know the other girls are great and would have your back like Carrie does.”

  Shaw’s gaze had been out the window for the first half of my speech, but it turned to settle on me for the second half, and one side of her mouth was indented. “Have you become my friendship manager all of a sudden?”

  “I will vet every single one if you want me to? Although, with your computer skills you could probably do that better than me.” It still scared me how she found all that information on me.

  Her gaze went out the window again and she gave another deep exhale. “It’s hard to let people in my life. When you’ve had one disappointment after another it’s just not worth it after awhile. I went through seven foster homes before my last one with the Tagert’s. I tried being the perfect kid at each one in hopes that would be the last one, but it never stuck for whatever reason, and that’s the thing…I never knew the reason. I was just shipped off. Whatever friends I made were left behind. It only made me try harder at the next house; do more chores, stay quiet, don’t complain…don’t cry. That was the only criticism I do know about; people don’t like it when you cry. But it’s hard to change yourself when you don’t know what people find wrong with you. ”

  Her melancholy tone twisted my gut; in sadness and anger. I remembered that she said she’d been a colicky baby and cried a lot. That’s why she thought she hadn’t been adopted. I couldn’t believe there wasn’t a set of parent’s out there who couldn’t put up with a few months of crying to get to the good stuff. Babies fucking cried, but they usually got past that shit.

  Shaw continued. “After a few months with the Tagert’s I realized they couldn’t care less what I did or what I was like. They were all about the money, but as more time passed and I wasn’t moved out I appreciated that it was something stable at least, even if it was a crappy trailer that stunk like cigarettes and mold. God, I hate those smells.” Her face twisted in disgust. “After a while I didn’t even smell it anymore, but other people could smell it on me and would rag on me for it. I started keeping my clothes outside in an old dresser to keep that smell off them. In the winter it was rough putting on cold clothes, but it was better then stinky clothes.”

  Damn, to have to live like that.

  “Anyway, I’m getting off topic.” She blew out a breath. “Let me tell you a little story about friends. I used to make them and did have a few friends at the trailer park; guys and girls. My closest friend was a girl named Lexi. We used to sneak out together all the time and go do shit. In my case I didn’t have to sneak out. In high school it was to hit parties. When the rumors started going around about me she stuck by me at first, believed me when I told her they weren’t true. Then one day after school in the parking lot I came up to find her surrounded by Ford and all his buddies laughing with them about the rumors, and then she added one of her own. She told them she’d gone to Planned Parenthood with me because I’d had to get an abortion.” She gave a laugh devoid of amusement. “The thing is I was the one that went with her. It had happened a month before and I’ve always wondered if she turned on me because she was feeling like shit because of what she had to do, or because Ford and his cronies were suddenly showing her attention. I know she was depressed for weeks after having the abortion. Whatever the reason it just reinforced that neither guys nor girls could be trusted. They will all stab you in the back.”

  It was astounding the bad luck Shaw had with the people in her life, and a no wonder she thought she was a shit magnet. And I didn’t miss that even though this Lexi bitch had stabbed Shaw in the back she’d still dug up an excuse for the girl. After everything and everyone she still had this softness inside her that hadn’t been destroyed.

  Pulling off to the shoulder of the highway…something I shouldn’t be doing but had to…I put the car in park.

  “Why are we stopping?” Shaw frowned.

  Turning toward her I cupped the side of face as she stared at me in confusion. “Thank you for giving me a second chance.”

  “You’ve already thanked me for that.” She was still confused and her skin was pinkening at my focused attention.

  “I know, but I really want you to know that I mean it. I’m not just spouting platitudes. I am fucking thankful as hell that you are giving me a second chance.”

  Her face heated more. “Okay.” She whispered.

  Leaning forward I took her mouth and poured all that gratefulness into her. She returned it and had to grip my shoulders as I thrust deep, searching for more. I always wanted more; I wanted everything.

  A car horn blaring past was the only thing able to pull me away.

  With one last gentle kiss to her puffy, delicious lips I sat my ass back in my seat. “We’re giving the passer-byer’s too much of a show.” Adjusting my rock-hard junk I looked for an opening in the traffic.

  “You know they have a cream for that itch.” Shaw joked huskily.

  “Unfortunately the cream I want on it is tucked away in those black short.” I eyed her shorts and legs heatedly.

  She shook her head with a laugh.

  “Holy shit! Did I just get the last word?” I exclaimed in true amazement.

  “What are you talking about?”

  “That was the first time you haven’t had a comeback to something I’ve said.”

  She rolled her eyes grinning. “It’s sad that you’ve kept track of that. Don’t you have a business and school work to keep that genius brain occupied?”

  “Are you kidding?” A space opened between vehicles and I stomped on the gas to get us back on the road. “You’ve had the last cutting remark for over a year. This is fucking momentous. My genius has finally been validated.” I did a fist bump in the air.

  She snorted. “Sounds like you need more hobbies in your life. Maybe you should take up golf or scab collecting.”

  I laughed. “Ther
e’s quite a distinction between those two hobbies.”

  “Not to me; they’re both lame.”

  “Hey, golf isn’t lame.” I protested with a laugh. “It’s not as fun as racing, but I like it.”

  The next couple hours flew by as we discussed and argued several other topics of conversation, and it just confirmed to me that no one kept me engaged like she did. When I finally pulled in through the open privacy gates of the McKay’s beach house I watched as astonishment washed over Shaw’s face.

  “They must be so crammed in this little shack. How can they stand it?” She snorted sarcastically.

  I chuckled as I parked next to one of the several vehicles loitering the driveway. I didn’t see Nic’s truck, but they’d had to pick Samantha up so that would put them slightly behind us. Grabbing our bags from the back seat we walked up to the front door. It was unlocked and I pushed it open directing Shaw inside ahead of me.

  Snagging her bag I set it next to the others by the stairs and then hauled her through the house toward the back patio where Landon, Blake, Amanda, Noah, Seth, Nadia, her brother, Luka, another young guy—probably a friend of Luka’s—and Maya’s stepbrother, Greg were congregating. Playing in the sand down on the beach I could see Maya with Nola, her mother and stepfather, and Nadia’s sister, Izzy. The three siblings were easy to tag because all three were blonde, tall, and striking with their Russian features.

  It looked like the only people that weren’t here were the Cruz brothers—if they were coming—Gabby and Lon, and of course Nic, Carrie, and Samantha.

  “Shaw!” Both Amanda and Nadia rushed forward arms out and smiling.

  Nadia got to Shaw first and pulled her from my grip to embrace her. “When I was told that Evan arranged this whole thing I was hoping he was bringing you.”

  Shaw’s arms were awkward as they patted at Nadia’s shoulders and then Amanda’s when she elbowed Nadia out of the way. Seeing her discomfiture as they hugged her really brought home to me how ill at ease she was with touch…that it wasn’t just me.

  A pang shot through my chest at everything Shaw had been denied. It made any kind of complaint I’d made in my life seem selfish. All I wanted to do was grant her all the desires she’d ever had but not been granted.

  “Evan arranged this whole thing, did he?” Shaw drawled as the girls pulled back.

  Uh-oh. Busted.

  CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

  SHAW

  I turned to Evan with an inquiring brow. “You put this together?”

  “Maybe.” He grinned, looking not at all repentant that he’d omitted that interesting fact about this weekend.

  “When did you arrange it?” I asked. And why wait to the last minute to tell me?

  Nadia laughed. “He told us all last night…late.” She gave Evan a mock glare. “Talk about last minute plans, but I guess it tells you how boring we all are that we dropped everything we weren’t doing to come.”

  Amanda gave Nadia a girl slap on the shoulder. “Hey, call yourself boring. I had plans to get my hair cut and buy a new pair of shoes.”

  “I can give you that hair cut.” Nadia raised both hands scissoring her fingers.

  Amanda grimaced. “Auhh, no thank you. I can wait.”

  “Come on. I’ve cut Izzy’s hair. You know how good I am with sharp blades.” Nadia grinned evilly.

  Amanda backed away. “Yeah, that’s why I’m declining. Your ability is a little too…slashy for my taste.”

  Smiling at their banter, I looked back at Evan. “What made you suddenly decide to do this?”

  His expression weirdly tender he tapped my mouth. “This right here. I want to see this smile on you all weekend.”

  My chest exploded. He’d arranged all this for me. I didn’t even know how to process that. I knew my mouth gaped slightly under his finger though.

  “And now I’ve made you speechless. I’m on a roll today.” He chuckled.

  “Like a square rock.” I mumbled.

  Evan’s arm slid around my waist and he tugged me into his side, nuzzling his chuckling lips into my neck. A shiver of hot desire shuddered through me.

  Amanda and Nadia had halted in their exchange and were staring at the both of us with raised eyebrows and smiles. This time a rush of embarrassment washed over me heating me even more. I was not used to being touched like Evan touched me; especially not in front of other people.

  “Evan.” Blake, Samantha’s brother and Carrie’s cousin, walked over with a smile. “This weekend may have been last minute but it was a hell of an idea. One last hurrah before the cold creeps in.” His gaze settled on me, wandering with surprise down to Evan’s arm around my waist. “Shaw, how are you?” He asked with a cautious smile.

  Blake came around the apartment quite a bit so I knew him pretty well. After reconnecting with Carrie he’d been trying to rebuild their relationship. I liked him for that, but my affability had been mixed with my ever-present enmity so I’d kept a partial wall between us. It had waned as the months had passed but I couldn’t ever let it completely disappear.

  “Good. You?” I asked.

  His brow rose at my inquiry because I normally didn’t care enough to ask. “I’m good too. Thanks for asking.”

  I shrugged. “I was bound to ask at some point.”

  Laughing, he shook his head gazing over my head. “It figures you’d hook up with Shaw, Evan. You’re both slightly off your rockers.”

  Evan’s arm tightened around my suddenly stiff frame. “We aren’t hooking up, we’re dating. And thanks for the compliment.”

  Blake’s brows rose as he examined us. “Cool.”

  I liked it that Evan had corrected Blake, because I loathed the phrase ‘hook-up’.

  Just then Nic, Carrie and Samantha strolled in and we were soon all climbing the stairs to the second floor to pick our rooms for the night. I ended up bunking with Samantha and Evan with Blake in the room next to ours. We all changed into our bathing suits and met down on the beach minutes later. It was late September and the day was eighty-three degrees and sunny.

  The next several hours consisted of the most fun I’d had in a long time. I went jet-skiing and water skiing…or I at least tried, getting up for about a minute or two…played some volleyball, and fooled around in the water. There was no denying that toys were fun.

  I could feel the walls surrounding my heart lower, and it didn’t require alcohol this time. These girls, and even the guys, were great to be around. Evan was at my side during everything; touching me, kissing me, and soon I wasn’t thinking twice about it, or anyone witnessing it. Evan became my alcohol of the day, lowering all my inhibitions.

  There was no denying that all the guys were hot in varying ways and degrees with amazing bodies, but I barely noticed them; all my focus centered on Evan. Everything about him pulled a response from me; his wit, intelligence, and seeing him in just a pair of shorts with his naked, muscular, tattooed chest had my mouth watering and womb fluttering.

  The fact that he’d put together this last minute gathering for me tumbled through my head all day. David threw gamer parties because we both enjoy them, but this was different. Evan said he’d done it because he’d wanted to see a smile on my face all day. It was so crazy…but I believed him.

  No guy had ever put such an effort into wanting to be with me. In high school I’d catch up with the guys I was hanging with at parties; they didn’t come to my trailer, I didn’t go to their homes, and we certainly didn’t date. Stupid me, I thought that was enough back than. We’d party, drink, make-out, and I’d get them off. That would last for a short time until they moved onto some other girl, and I usually found that out by catching them in the act. I’d feel used and discarded, but then another guy would show interest and I would fall for the lies all over again. A few guys later my reputation was shit, and I heard that everyone was laughing about how easy white-trash Shaw was.

  To this day I still felt like a fucking fool for how stupidly needy I was.

  I wasn�
�t accustomed to all the attention and consideration Evan was showing me; he came over each night, he brought me flowers and churro’s from that Mexican restaurant we’d eaten at, he texted me randomly with humorous lines throughout the day, he’d taken me out to an expensive dinner, he asked me about my day and my life…not something I really wanted to talk about but tried, and he’d taken steps to make sure the guys on campus left me alone.

  There were still a few guys, not part of the Fraternity, who continued to bother me, but I kept that to myself because I could handle it myself.

  What I was having a hard time handling were the emotions Evan brought out in me. I didn’t like this feeling of want he inspired inside me. When I wanted things I was generally let down. It was terrifying contemplating letting my walls down, allowing him in, but I couldn’t fight the feelings I had for him…it was one of the most powerful cravings I’ve ever experienced.

  I was so screwed…and that was another thing that was messing with me. Evan was keeping his dick in his pants. I didn’t know that was possible for a guy, but he was doing it for me, and I could tell he was suffering for it. The guy seemed to have a hard-on all the time.

  I had to admit I was going through my own case of girl blue balls. My body was craving him to such an extent that it was a constant ache inside me. I didn’t know females could feel that.

  It was a little after six p.m. when Dan and Landon started BBQ’ing some food while the rest of us drank and mingled. Greg had left to go pick up a girl he seeing in town and bring her back to the house. Apparently it was the same girl from the wedding. I remember her name was Anthea and while her appearance screamed gregarious, the girl was actually pretty quiet, but she seemed nice. Someone mentioned she was a singer and that shocked me. I would think a singer would be more sociable and maybe even a little bit self-important.