Evan's Addiction

by Sara Hess

  “And she’s going to need you.” Dan’s voice stayed composed as he replied to Evan’s brusque words. “But I want Shaw to know that I want to be there for her too.” His gaze connected with mine, softening, but holding a serious and stanch glint.

  I wasn’t certain what I was going to do but I was grateful for his offer. I smiled back hesitantly to show it, but I’d caused him and everyone else enough trouble. “Thank you, Dan, but…you know, I kind of have the resources to find out everything about her myself…if I want to…because it’s kind of what I do. But I do appreciate your offer.” I repeated for good measure.

  My gaze flickered over to Evan’s mom to see her frowning at me…yep, she totally hated me.

  Throat constricting, I grabbed Evan’s hand squeezing it as I turned to face him. His features were rigid in displeasure and I gave him a sad and apologetic look. Here he was going through something and more of my shit lands on the table. That was my life; it didn’t rain cat and dogs, it rained shit.

  Unable to handle everyone’s staring I popped off Evan’s lap and rushed towards the kitchen door leading outside. The other entryway was blocked by Dan and Jasmine and I didn’t want to have to brush past them. I needed space to figure out this latest shit-deposit in my life.

  Fuck a duck, I forgot about the mob of reporters in front of the house. Someone spotted me and began a chorus; ‘Ms. O’Connel, Ms. O’Connel, Ms. O’Connel’.

  I dashed in the direction of the backyard out of their sights but I could still hear their screams, and the thumping of my heart sped up because the questions they were yelling revolved around the woman claiming to be my birth mother.

  “Shaw!”

  I spun in a panic because that shout was right behind me and the reporters weren’t allowed on the property, but at the sight of Evan my muscles unwound in relief. He marched towards me wearing a severe expression and the walls of my chest compressed painfully against my heart.

  How long would his love for me last if problem after problem smothered it?

  CHAPTER THIRTY-SIX

  EVAN

  “Evan, you should be inside talking to your mother and Dan. It sounded and looked like you guys had a lot to discuss.” Shaw’s arms wrapped around her waist and stared at me looking unhappy and regretful.

  Paying her no regard I continued forward wrapping her in his arms. It was the middle of November and a faint chill hovered in the air, and she had only a t-shirt on with yoga pants so I was sure she was slightly cold.

  She tried pushing me away but I wasn’t going anywhere. “Evan, please, I want you to go smooth things over with your mom and Dan. I’m fine. All I need is some time to myself.” She objected.

  “Time is the only thing that is going to smooth things over with my mom and Dan.” I declared.

  Their announcement that they were seeing each other, had been seeing each other for weeks, was a complete shocker, and not something I was comfortable with. I liked Dan, a lot, and my mom had a soft and happy look in her eyes I’d never seen before, but they both had gone through a recent divorce, and Dan’s hadn’t been because he wasn’t in love with his ex-wife. Then there was the fact that Dan was my boss.

  I’d kept my opinions to myself, but I hadn’t been able to keep the displeasure out of my tone. They were both adults so I wasn’t going to make a scene like a child, and like I’d told Shaw; time would show whether their relationship would endure. I know Dan would treat my mom really well, but were his feelings for Landon’s mother truly over? I didn’t want to see my mom hurt. She deserved to be happy after all these years.

  However, my mom’s dating life took back seat to the news Shaw had just received.

  I rubbed Shaw’s back. “My main concern right now is you, Red. The way you charged from the house forgetting about the pack of wolves out front tells me you’re not thinking clearly.”

  She remained tense in my embrace, but at the same time gripped my sides tightly. It was like she was fighting whether to stay in my arms or push me away.

  “I…needed to breathe…some fresh air. I’ve been cooped up in that house for a week; I told you I needed to get out.” She stated, sounding on-edge.

  How could she not be with a woman out there claiming to be her birth mother; a mother that had dumped her in a bathroom. Her emotions had to be all over the place. If she needed a distraction right now than I would give her one.

  “We will get out of the house then. What do you want to do? Remember, you’re still healing so we can’t do anything too strenuous.” I kissed her forehead continuing to stroke her back, reinforcing my support.

  Her frame remained rigid. “I don’t want you catering to me right now. You’re mom and Dan came here to see you, talk to you; I want you to finish what you started with them before my problems interfered.”

  I frowned at her wording. “Your problem didn’t interfere, they trump mine right now.”

  She looked up at me with a glare. “No! My problems don’t trump yours. I just have more of them, and this time I don’t want you dealing with mine. I want you to handle your own.”

  Was she trying to distract herself, or did this involve something else…like the erroneous idea that she attracted trouble? With how much shit that had come her way recently I could see why she thought that, and I hated that she had even more on her plate to contend with. Whatever her reason she was fervently adamant that we deal with my so-called problem…even if it made me uncomfortable.

  “Dan and my mother invited us to lunch, along with Landon, Maya and Nola.” I announced.

  “Lunch…Us?” She frowned.

  I squeezed her waist. “Yes, us. I love you, and we are a couple, and this appears to be a couples gathering.”

  The dull cloud in her eyes dissipated somewhat at my declaration, but her head shook back and forth. “Yeah, but Landon and Maya are married and official family members. I’m not. I’m sure they planned this to be a family lunch. I’ll just stay here. I need to be alone anyway.” Her expression wilted in gloomy fatigue.

  I wasn’t leaving her after this mountain was just dumped on her shoulders. She’d been alone to many times in the past dealing with life’s troubles. “Shaw, you said you needed out of the house. I’m not leaving you here to brood alone, so we either go somewhere just the two of us or hit this awkward luncheon.” Although, I doubt there was anything that would completely sidetrack her thoughts.

  “I don’t want to crash your family lunch.” Shaw argued.

  “You won’t be crashing; they invited you.” I countered. “And this isn’t a family lunch. Dan is my boss, and now it seems he is also dating my mother.” It was a recipe for disaster.

  Her head bowed, thumping on my chest, and she went quiet for a short time. I stroked her hair softly as she processed my ultimatum. I felt slightly guilty about pushing her, but I really didn’t want her to be alone. I would rather skip this lunch and spend the time just us two, but she seemed pretty fixed on me going.

  “Okay,” she relented. “Awkward lunch it is.”

  ∞ ∞ ∞

  “Are you just as blown away by this as me?” Landon leaned toward me muttering.

  “Probably more, since I work for your dad.” I mumbled back. “I take it you didn’t know?”

  The seven of us were gathered in the solarium of Dan’s new home about to sit down for lunch. In the divorce he’d given his ex-wife their seven million dollar mansion in Richmond; most likely because Maya never wanted to set foot back inside it because of what happened to her there.

  This mansion was a little bit smaller and on the outskirts of Charlottesville. Dan had wanted to be closer to Landon, Maya, and his granddaughter.

  Landon snorted. “I’ve kind of been in your shoes. If you recall Maya’s mother used to work for us. I would make every attempt to be somewhere else whenever she was around because it was too weird having her cleaning up after me when I was dating her daughter.”

  “Well, I can’t really avoid your dad.” My eyes narrowed
at the sight of Dan pulling out a chair for my mother. He leaned down and whispered something in her ear and she turned her head to smile at him. It was a smile I’d never seen on her face before; open and affectionate, but with heat.

  I wasn’t sure if I should be happy for her, worried for her, or creeped out at the obvious lust in her gaze…for my boss.

  “They look happy together.” Landon was studying the two of them as well.

  Nola dashed over to Dan and he picked her up with a laugh, hugging and giving her raspberries on her neck, making her giggle.

  “But is he over your mom?” I raised my brow questioningly. “He didn’t divorce your mother because he fell out of love with her. He divorced her because of what she did.”

  Landon’s expression tightened and his eyes darkened in pain and anger. I didn’t like reminding him of what she’d done, but maybe he had some insight into his dad’s feelings.

  We both observed his dad and my mom fawn over Nola. My mother was always that way with kids. I always thought that she might have wanted more children, but I know that Kyle hadn’t. It was something else she’d sacrificed.

  Landon spoke quietly next to me. “I can’t speak for my dad’s feelings, but I know he’s absolutely done with my mother. He would never go back to her; not after what she did, and not just to Maya and me, but also because of what she asked Kris to do. While he and I differ on our opinions concerning Kris, we both think without my mother’s manipulations the events would never have occurred.”

  Landon never referred to Kris as his brother anymore, not after what he’d done to Maya. His brother denied doing anything, but Landon had a picture in his head, as well as a recount of Maya’s heartbroken memories, so everyone understood why he would never forgive him; including his dad. His brother had betrayed him in the worst possible way.

  Unlike his ex-wife, Dan hadn’t cut Landon’s brother from his life, and Landon said he understood his dad’s unconditional love for Kris. He said Nola’s existence gave him that perspective because he would love his daughter no matter what.

  “I believe that Dan would never get back with your mother, but his feelings for her are an entirely different matter.” I grumbled.

  Maya walked up to Landon and pressed herself against his front, hugging him while giving us both a smile. “You know, neither of you are being subtle on what you’re both conferring about over here.”

  Shaw stepped up next to me; her frame was tense and her eyes guarded. She and Maya had been greeting each other, the same as Landon and me, since we both arrived simultaneously.

  Shaw had been gotten even tenser since hearing the news this morning.

  After Dan and my mother had left with the promise that we’d come for lunch the both of us had gone up to my bedroom and reviewed the news feed on this woman claiming to be her mother. Shaw asserted she wouldn’t be able to concentrate on anything until she got that out of the way.

  I’d watched her face fixedly and shared some of her shock at how much the woman resembled Shaw. She’d had red hair, but it hadn’t been the same beautiful shade of red as Shaw’s. With her age she probably colored it to cover any gray strands. Her hair had also been bone straight and shaped into a shoulder length bob instead of the long, luscious, wild curls that Shaw sported. It was possible she straightened it, or Shaw had gotten her curls from her father. The woman’s eyes had been blue, but I could see some facial similarities between the two; nose, chin, and freckles, but the older woman had more of them. The woman was somewhat attractive, and slightly overweight in the way most women get as they grow older and don’t watch what they eat or exercise.

  She’d been unaccompanied in her interview stating that she’d gotten pregnant with Shaw at sixteen and been terrified at the news because her parents were very religious and stringent. She’d concealed the news from everyone and been able to hide the pregnancy the whole time by wearing baggy clothes; as it was during the colder months it hadn’t been that difficult. She’d divulged that she hadn’t gained a lot of weight and that had aided in keeping it a secret. When the labor pains had started she’d gone to a friend’s home who she knew were gone for the summer and delivered the baby alone. The woman had proclaimed that she’d wanted to keep her baby but if she had her parents would have kicked her out onto the streets and that would have only killed them both. Consequently, she’d made the difficult decision to leave the baby in a McDonald’s bathroom because someone was sure to find her and she could only pray that she would go to a good home. At the end of the interview the woman had made a weepy declaration of her deep desire to meet Shaw and possibly build a relationship.

  The woman had been tearfully emotional during the whole interview and the story I’m sure had tugged at many a heartstring, but I’d watched with detached interest because I wasn’t going to be swayed by the crying woman who had abandoned Shaw.

  I hadn’t missed the emotion in Shaw’s eyes, the deep yearning for something she never had, and while I hoped with all my heart that this woman was telling the truth, I was terrified that Shaw might be heading down a road to a disillusionment she might never recover from.

  Whatever Shaw chose to do concerning this woman I was going to be firmly at her side seeing her through it, supporting her.

  After I’d switched the news feed off Shaw had gone quiet, not wanting to discuss the woman. I recognized that she needed time to process and I’d suggested again that we skip the lunch and go do something just the two of us, but she’d been immovable. She said this day wasn’t about her, it was about me.

  Wanting Shaw pressed up against me similar to the way Maya was to Landon I snagged her waist and spun her around, being careful of her stomach, to fit her to my front. She was in that peach dress she’d worn to the wedding with a cream colored cashmere pullover, and her red, unruly hair was loose down her back. She was the most stunning woman in the room…or anywhere else.

  Giving a light kiss to her lips and trying to tap down the liquid heat sweeping through me at the feel of her, I whispered. “How you doing, beautiful?”

  “I’m good.” The smile she gave me was wide, but it didn’t reach her eyes.

  The need to change that was compulsive. “How would you like to come to My Space so I can Twitter you with my Yahoo until I Google in your Face Book?”

  Maya and Landon sputtered next to us.

  Finally, a spark lit up her green depths and it made me feel twenty feet tall. “I don’t know…Yahoo’s always disappointed me in the past. I might have to switch to Bing.”

  Maya and Landon’s sputters turned to outright laughter.

  Growling, I stuffed my face in her neck. “In another week I’m going to show you how undisappointing Yahoo is.”

  Shaw giggled and my elevation shot up another ten feet, as well as my lust. My hips reflexively gyrated into her abdomen for a little relief. Shaw sucked in a breath and pressed back.

  “What are you guys laughing about over there?” Mom asked.

  Shaw stiffened and pulled away while straightening her dress. Her cheeks reddened and I could see discomfort in her eyes. She was probably embarrassed about getting intimate in front of my mom.

  Landon spoke up with a smirk. “Shaw and Evan were discussing the merits of Yahoo versus Bing.”

  I guided Shaw to the table and was seating her when mom responded to that. “I’ve always went with Google myself.”

  Landon started to have a coughing fit in the process of seating Maya. Maya bowed her head with a grin. Shaw rubbed her face with her hand, most likely covering her amusement.

  “Dad, what do you prefer?” Landon asked with a sly grin, taking the chair next to Maya.

  Dan’s gaze encompassed us all. “I feel like part of your conversation was withheld, but I’ll answer anyway…I prefer Bing.”

  Shaw’s hand clapped over her mouth.

  Landon turned to me and beamed. “Well, there you have it, Shaw; you should switch to Bing.”

  I gave him the evil eye which only incre
ased his hilarity.

  “Daddy, what’s Bing?” Nola asked innocently. She was seated between father and grandfather.

  My evil eye twinkled.

  “It’s a search organ…I mean engine on computers, baby girl.” Landon declared, giving his daughter a sweet smile.

  Maya jabbed him in the side and growled “Landon” under her breath. He just pinched her back playfully.

  Dan shook his head while my mom rolled her eyes. “How old are you guys again?” He laughed.

  “Well, I was playing with Lego’s this morning.” Landon retorted.

  “We built a castle, grandpa. Daddy made me horses, and guards, and people on horses. He’s so good at playing Lego’s.” She exclaimed proudly.

  Landon stared down at his daughter with a wealth of emotion. “You are just as good, baby girl. You made that pig and it was way better than my horses.”

  Nola beamed and it was a mirror of Landon’s.

  “And you didn’t bring it for me to see?” Dan pouted down at his granddaughter.

  Nola patted his hand. “I’m sorry, grandpa. I promise to save it and show you next time.”

  Dan smiled and leaned down to kiss her forehead. “I can’t wait to see it.”

  I observed my mom’s expression going all gooey at the way Dan interacted with Nola. Kyle had been more of a Commander in Chief with his kids, and a drill-Sergeant with me.

  Dan’s housekeeper stepped into the room with a cart of bread, salads and soups for everyone. Once the dishes had been served my mom spoke up.

  “Shaw, I never got ask this morning how you are feeling. Are you healing up well?”

  It was barely noticeable but I sensed Shaw tensing next to me. “I’m good. Thank you for asking.” She answered properly, sitting up straight.

  My brows rose at her formality. It wasn’t like Shaw wasn’t ever respectful, but normally she wasn’t so stiffly reserved.

  “And how is your course work; are you keeping up with it? I hope the university is giving you lots of leeway after what you went through.” Mom continued with a sympathetic look.