Evan's Addiction

by Sara Hess

  Shaw’s frame remained ramrod straight, her expression fixed as she nodded. “Yes, I am, and they are being very accommodating.” She smiled stiffly.

  Mom bit her lip at Shaw’s rigid response. I think she was becoming aware that Shaw seemed a little uncomfortable too.

  I set my hand on Shaw’s leg and when she turned to me I gave her a reassuring smile.

  “I hear you’ve been keeping in touch with the other girl, Elizabeth Kennedy?” Dan asked.

  I felt Shaw relax. “Yeah, we talk everyday. Her parent’s are keeping her locked down pretty tight at home.”

  Dan nodded. “Her father is running for a Senate position in the next election so I’m sure the press is horrendous to deal with. It’s good that she has you to talk to, that you both have each other.” He said with a compassionate smile.

  Shaw’s smile for Dan was warmer than the one she’d given my mother. Why was she so ill at ease with my mother? I’d never seen her on edge like this around anyone else. Was she overly anxious about making a good impression?

  The rest of lunch went the same; whenever my mom asked Shaw a question she would respond with tight anxiousness and stiff politeness. I think Shaw’s behavior was affecting my mom’s manner toward her because she conversed less and less with her as time passed, and focused more on Maya and Nola. It bothered me that they weren’t connecting. Mom and I were close and I was really hoping her and Shaw would hit it off.

  At first I contributed Shaw’s reserve to what she’d learned today, but while she wasn’t her normal self she appeared relaxed with everyone except my mom. I didn’t understand it but I decided not to address it at this time because she didn’t need me haranguing her on top of everything else she was dealing with, and it was those reasons that could be affecting her behavior. Hopefully with time Shaw would relax more around my mom.

  When lunch was finished Dan asked to speak to me alone. Everyone in the room knew why. It hit me that I’d forgotten that we were at Dan’s house because he and my mom were dating. My attention had been sidetracked by my concern for Shaw.

  As I stood Shaw threw me a theatrical grimace behind her napkin, but added an empathetic squeeze to my hand. Surprisingly, some of my tension at the recollection of why we were here eased from the combination of both of those.

  “Let’s go for a walk.” Dan suggested, leading me toward the foyer.

  A couple minutes later we had donned our jackets and were strolling down toward his man-made lake.

  Dan stuffed his hands in his pocket. “Go ahead and get whatever you need to say to me off your chest.”

  Jamming my hands in my coat I inhaled deeply. “Are you still in love with your ex-wife?”

  His steps faltered slightly and his head swiveled my way in astonishment. “What?! No…of course not, Evan. I divorced her, remember?”

  I gave him a hooded side glance. “Not because you fell out of love with her. You divorced her because of what she did.”

  He stopped and gazed skyward.

  I waited.

  His head tilted back down and deep lines of pain etched his face. “What Nadine did ripped my family apart. It was something I never would have forgiven or forgot, so I divorced her. For the months the hurt of what she did was like a fist around me heart, but I began to realize the pain wasn’t from losing her, it was all for my sons, for Maya, and for Nola. Time away from her made me realize that love wasn’t what was holding me in my marriage, it was loyalty. The Nadine I married changed. She became hard and controlling…or more controlling…” Dan’s mouth was thin a rigid line. “She was always a bit of a control freak…but I admired her strength and drive back then. Unfortunately, that control took a dark turn and became calculating and devious. I wish…” Breaking off he shook his head and looked me in the eye. “It doesn’t matter what I wish because I can’t change anything. But does any of that answer your question?”

  I scrubbed my hand through my hair, a mix of emotions pouring through me. Growing up Dan was one of those guys I had always wished my mom would have married instead of Kyle...for her and myself, but the way everything was playing out made it complicated.

  “I think it does, but have you healed enough to start something new with my mother. You only got divorced a short time ago, Dan, and my mom even less. I know she and Kyle haven’t been in a real marriage for a while, but this whole thing just seems kind of sudden.”

  Dan’s expression softened, a small smile tugged up the side of his mouth, and something that looked like wonder glistened in his eyes. I just now realized that he’d had that look on his face the entire lunch this afternoon…each time he stared at my mother.

  Shit, my mind was really scrambled today. How was I just processing this now…oh yeah, my head had been swamped with how Shaw was feeling.

  With an awed shake of his head he gave me a sheepish look. “You’re mom and I hit it off that first day you introduced us at my office. I asked her if she would have lunch with me under the guise that since you and Landon were friends, and the fact you were working for me, that it would be an excellent idea if we got better acquainted. But I knew that was just an excuse. She lit something inside of me that I hadn’t felt in years, maybe ever.” He frowned broodingly before shaking his head again and grinning. “After that first lunch I knew. Jasmine…she’s one of those exceptional people that you can’t hold off on snapping up. If you wait she could be gone, and I wasn’t going to let that happen.” Dan raised one brow like he was asking for my agreement.

  It wasn’t like I was going to refute him on that. My mom was the best. “She is pretty awesome.” I concurred.

  Dan’s grin got bigger. “She is.” His face turned serious. “So, can you handle me dating your mom?”

  I contemplated him for a moment, and didn’t miss the slight anxious glint in his eyes. I could tell that it wouldn’t sit right with him if I did have a problem with it, and that along with the way he gazed at my mom pretty much convinced me.

  I let out a hefty resigned exhale. “Just keep the PDA on the down-low, and if you two decide to call it quits the only explanation I want to hear is that she dumped your ass and not the other way around. You might be my boss but I will give you one hell of a shiner if you hurt her.” I gave him a hard stare to let him know I wasn’t kidding.

  His lips twisted up. “I can honestly tell you that it would be the only reason. I can’t imagine letting someone as special as your mom walk away. If she did you might have to fight me to make me leave her alone.”

  I snorted. “I imagine my mom thought long and hard about dating you because you are my boss. She wouldn’t have gone into the relationship without thinking long and hard on it, worrying that it might screw things up for me somehow, so I know she has to feel deeply for you.” I narrowed my eyes on him. “Tell me the truth; you had to do some serious convincing, didn’t you?”

  Dan laughed. “It took me forever to convince her into a real date, and then another month to get to this point.”

  I grinned. “That sounds about right. She really does seem happy. I always thought she married Kyle more for me than for herself and I want her to think of herself this time.”

  Dan clamped a hand on my shoulder, the look on his face that of a lottery winner. “She’s an incredible woman.”

  The man was definitely smitten. Wow, my mom and my boss!

  I think this whole situation might have freaked me out more if Shaw hadn’t had this newest hitch in her life. Who my mom was dating seemed inconsequential to everything she was going through. It was somewhat astonishing that my thoughts were focused more on Shaw than my mother. For so long it had always been her and me.

  My feelings for Shaw were just on another plane…and all-consuming.

  My expression must have displayed my mood swing because Dan caught it.

  “Shaw seemed kind of up and down today. How is she handling the news about this woman claiming to be her mother?”

  I sighed and paced around him. “She hasn’t wanted
to discuss it yet. Did you see it?”

  His face was somber as he nodded. “When we got back here I searched for it.” He paused slightly before continuing. “The woman does have a faint resemblance to Shaw. She could be the real thing.”

  Another sigh escaped me, this one heavier. “Yeah, and I could see the hope in Shaw’s eyes as she watched her. She has a scar on her soul from what happened to her, and then add all those years in foster care. She’s been abandoned, neglected, rejected, and disappointed her whole life. I’m afraid what this woman could do to her if she came forward for reasons other than for Shaw.”

  My love for Shaw had spawned something inside of me; this protective compulsion that would do anything, commit any felony, to make sure that she was never hurt again. She was my addiction and I would do anything for her.

  Dan let out a sigh of his own. “That girl is another extraordinary individual. All she needs to know is that she can count on you.”

  A weighty silence hung in the air and together we stared out at the lake.

  CHAPTER THIRTY-SEVEN

  SHAW

  Evan: I’m the love pirate and tonight your booty is mine. Aruhg.

  I snorted softly at the text Evan just sent me. He’d been keeping in touch with me for the last two days with little text messages like this. I think it was his way of keeping my spirits up.

  I tapped back. My booty will only be taken by the pirate with the biggest sword. Do you think your sword is big enough?

  Evan: How many times do I have to tell you; it’s not how big the sword is, it’s how well you wield it. But either way, I’m the biggest and greatest.

  Me: We’ll see about that…tonight. You bring your sword and I’ll bring the booty.

  Evan: I’m going to stab you so hard. Love you, Red.

  My heart jumped in my chest and I grinned stupidly. Me: Love you, too.

  Evan didn’t even need to be in the same room with me to turn my insides to goo.

  I turned my attention back to the computer and course work in front of me but my focus was for-crap today. My mind had been set to whirlwind for the last week; since learning about the woman claiming to be my mother. I was having a difficult time concentrating on anything for a concerted amount of time.

  The only thing that was able to take my mind off everything was Evan’s touch. His hands and mouth were like a drug that made thinking impossible. He still wouldn’t have sex with me even though I assured him I felt loads better with barely any twinges of pain, but mercifully he was okay with using his fingers and mouth on me.

  It wasn’t like I was using him just for the intention of distraction. I was fine with him touching me anytime and anywhere he wanted to, and given that I’d had my follow-up check-up today and was marked all clear he had no more excuses for keeping his amazing pecker to himself. It may be difficult for me to fully accept that he loved me, but I had no problem immersing myself in the physical emotions he had for me.

  At the moment though, he was back at work, and I was back in school, so my thoughts were yet again all over the place, and the overall theme was this mystery woman.

  I’d done my research and built a small dossier on the woman; surname Rebecca Donnelly. She lived in a double wide trailer on the East side of Charlottesville, had an associates degree in generalized business, got married when she was twenty…could be why it was only an associates degree…and then divorced three years later, got married again at twenty-eight before divorcing after five years this time, neither marriage had resulted in children, she’d remained single since, and was now a manager at the local grocery store where she’d worked for ten years. Her work history before that was all over the place; numerous waitressing jobs, promoted to assistant manager at two of her waitressing gigs, three stints as a hotel desk concierge, bank teller, and receptionist at a couple doctor’s offices.

  I’d looked into my grandpar…ahhgg, I wasn’t going to call them that yet…her parent’s and found out they were retired and heavily into their church; going twice a week, volunteering, and giving their mandatory ten percent. Whether they were overly strict, or that she had grounds for her fear of being turned out on the street at being found pregnant, I couldn’t discern through my internet search, and they weren’t talking to the press.

  Rebecca however, had done a second interview; on the Nancy Travis show. Nancy Travis was a former lawyer who now had a television show where she dissected crimes from beginning to end. At the moment she was focused on the John Wilks case; the guy who had kidnapped Elizabeth, me and countless other girls. For some reason interviewing this woman who was claiming to be my mother was part of it…I don’t know why. She wasn’t the one who’d been kidnapped.

  During the interview Rebecca had repeated the same version of her story. The only new piece of information as a result of Nancy’s questioning, and had me holding my breath for an answer, was the whereabouts of my father. However, Rebecca hadn’t revealed that information. She’d informed Nancy that the father had no idea he was a father and she didn’t want to surprise him with it during an interview. She did say she was taking steps to find and notify him…a little late in my book.

  At the end of the interview she’d made another tearful plea that I would reach out and meet her.

  Surprisingly, everybody seemed to be full of sympathy for the woman. They did criticize her for abandoning me in a bathroom, but then in the next breath they would say that at least she’d left me in a place where someone was sure to find me.

  Most of the negative comments seemed reserved for Rebecca’s parents; for not realizing that their daughter was pregnant, and their supposed strictness. They weren’t talking to refute any of it so the journalists went to town on judging and convicting them.

  I still had no idea what to think, but I did know the small seed that had been planted when the woman first made her announcement was germinating like crazy inside me. In fact, it was near sprouting out of my skin. There was no way I was going to be able to not meet her.

  I wasn’t oblivious to the truth that my jumpy nerves were a result of a little bit of hope…and I may have been lying to myself when I depicted as a little bit. I was trying to not let my expectations get the best of me, but the idea that I might finally have a mother, my actual real mother, coming to claim me…it was like all my childhood dreams coming true; my mother and father coming to pluck me out of whatever foster home I was in at the time, giving me hugs and kisses, telling me how sorry they were for not finding me sooner, and saying that they never meant to give me up in the first place.

  It wasn’t like my dreams, but something was better than nothing.

  The sound of scraping chairs and students scrambling to leave woke me out of my daydream. It was the end of class and I hadn’t gotten much done. The assignment was simple…for me…and any other day I would have had it done already, but because of where my head was at it was going to take me another day to finish. Thankfully, everyone was walking on eggshells around me so I could almost get away with murder.

  Gathering my stuff I jammed it in my backpack and ignoring the stares of my curious classmates, and non-classmates, I marched out of the building. It was Tuesday, and my second day back at UVA, and everyone’s eyes had been glued to me ever since I stepped back on campus. I was somewhat accustomed to unwanted attention, so I put up my virtual blinders and stared straight ahead as I strode past them.

  Quite a few people had tried to drill me for information. Instead of telling them to stuff their nosiness up their asses, I held my tongue and said I wasn’t allowed to speak about it because it was an open case. That wasn’t quite true, but it kept me from biting off the heads of the people around me. I was at the point where if someone looked my way I snapped out the line before their mouths were even open.

  However, not everyone was smart enough to except my refusal to talk. During lunch yesterday one girl had continued to pester me, and when I wouldn’t cough up what she wanted she’d started speaking loudly to her friends from
two tables away about her ideas of what had happened to me.

  “She might not be talking but they’ve been speculating that the guy was raping all the girls before he sold them. Even though he only had her for half a day he most likely raped her and did other crazy stuff to her. That’s probably why she had to stay in the hospital for so long.” The girl sniped.

  “The news said she had appendicitis.” One of her friends corrected.

  “When he raped her it probably brought on the appendicitis.” She’d retorted.

  Rolling my eyes at Carrie and David at that stupid piece of logic I’d made a comment in the same raised whisper the snatch-hat was speaking in. “Holy shit, someone call all the medical journals. We have an Einstein at the next table who’s found the cause of appendicitis. Who knew we were in the midst of greatness.”

  I’d gotten quite a few chuckles from the surrounding tables that were listening in.

  Snatch-hat had gone quite for a moment and I’d thought she was utilizing what little brains she had, but then she’d spoken again.

  “He probably didn’t rape her. I mean, he had Elizabeth Kennedy and she is way more attractive, even though she’s probably a little mousy, spoiled, rich brat. He’s probably one of those guys who trains the girls he sells. Who knows all the things he did to her. It was probably a lot of submissive stuff.”

  I probably would have let it go because I was used to people talking shit about me, but when she’d began talking about Elizabeth I’d snapped. Jumping up I’d stormed over to their table and leaned down into the bitch’s face.

  “Did you forget to take your human pills today? Because you have to be one of the most stupid pigs I’ve ever come across. I’m going to give your tiny pickled brain two details that you can go and gossip about to all the people you hang around who you think are your friends but in fact probably can’t stand you. The guy didn’t rape any of the girls; all he did was sell them. Elizabeth isn’t a mousy, spoiled, rich brat, she’s a woman who stayed strong through a month of being caged by a sadistic cocksucker who tried his best to debase her every chance he had. I could say that had it been you instead of her that was taken that you would have turned into a blubbering, spineless mess on the floor of that cage, but I won’t say that because it’s not a nice thing to say. I also wouldn’t wish that on the evilest of bitches.”