The Accidental Vampire Plus Vampires Are Forever and Bonus Material

by Lynsay Sands

  “Which is still the case,” Edward pointed out. “Although now there is the added problem of keeping you from losing her. And then keeping the council from demanding her head.” He smiled with mild amusement. “For a two-thousand-year-old vampire your lack of finesse in dealing with women is rather appalling.”

  “What are you going to do about this council?” Brunswick asked before Victor could react to Edward’s words.

  Victor sighed, his shoulders slumping as he admitted, “I don’t know what the hell to do about the council. I’ve been trying to sort that out all week, but got distracted by…things,” he ended lamely. Most of the distraction was due to Elvi herself. Truly, an immortal was useless when he first found his lifemate.

  “Well”—Teddy shifted unhappily—“what exactly is it they’re sore about?”

  “We were sent here originally because of the ad in the paper and the rumors in Toronto,” Victor said.

  Brunswick scowled at the accusation in his face. “Don’t get all pissy with me. If it weren’t for the ad, you never would have met her. Besides, they can’t punish her for either thing. You already know that the rumors around the clubs are because of me and Barney, and the ad was placed by Mabel. They can’t blame her for that.”

  “Surely, he’s right, Victor,” Harper said. “They can hardly blame and punish her for something others did.”

  “No,” Victor agreed. “But they can blame her for other things. She isn’t exactly living quietly and doing her best to evade notice here. She’s a celebrity, if only in this small town, which they won’t like at all. And she was biting mortals, and that’s worse, that’s breaking our laws.”

  “She didn’t know it was against your laws, surely they’d take that into account?” Teddy argued.

  Victor arched an eyebrow. “So you let go every mortal who claims they didn’t know they were going over the speed limit, or didn’t know what they were doing was against a law?”

  “Damn,” Teddy muttered, dropping his eyes.

  “We’ll figure something out,” DJ assured the man quietly. “Victor’s smart and powerful and his brother is the head of the council. He’ll sort it out.”

  Victor managed not to wince at this claim. He didn’t have a single idea as to what to do about it all. And Lucian may be his brother, but it didn’t mean the man would show mercy here. Lucian Argeneau had a reputation for being one of the most cold-blooded bastards on the continent, and with good reason. Victor’s instincts were shouting at him to grab Elvi and flee, hide, move to Europe maybe where the council might not follow.

  “Anyway,” DJ commented, “that’s why Victor doesn’t want to order blood in. He’s trying to avoid any contact with the council or anyone close to the council until he sorts out the safest way to present this matter to them.”

  “Yes, I understand now.” Harper looked thoughtful. “So, we too are now forced to depend on the goodness of these townspeople for our sustenance.”

  “And Elvi and Mabel,” Edward pointed out. “Unless we’d care to get off our high horses and help, Elvi and Mabel are the ones who will be singing for our supper…or kissing for it as the case may be.”

  “No,” Alessandro said indignantly. “They will not sing. I allow no woman to prostitution herself for me. I will do the prostitution for my own blood.”

  “And I,” Harper murmured.

  Victor glanced at Teddy. “So? What can we do to help?”

  Brunswick hesitated, his gaze sliding around the fair-grounds, and then turned away. “Come with me. We’ll go find Karen and Mike. They’re on the committee for this thing.”

  Victor started to follow, slowing when Edward appeared at his side to murmur, “Once we’ve settled the issue of helping out, I think we should discuss how best to help you win the fair Elvi. You don’t seem to be doing very well on your own.”

  “He’s right,” Harper said from his other side. “We’ll put our heads together and come up with something. Don’t you worry.”

  For some reason, their assurances only made him worry more.

  Twenty

  “Teddy just told me the men are running the pie booth,” Mabel murmured, handing her a bandage for the latest donor.

  Elvi glanced at her with surprise. “I thought Karen was running the pie booth?”

  Mabel shook her head. “Teddy says Karen and Mike are still out in the parking lot, arguing about something. So the men took over the booth and are offering women a kiss if they return with a bandage showing they’ve given blood.”

  Elvi’s eyebrows rose. That explained the increase in women donors. It was usually mostly men at her booth, the women sticking to going to the blood bank, but she’d noticed several women in the line the last couple of times she’d glanced that way.

  “Who gets to kiss them?” Elvi asked as she bent to apply the bandage to John Dorsey’s arm, and then gave him a quick peck on the lips, a glass of juice, and a cookie.

  “That was my first question too,” Mabel said with a laugh. “I gather Victor and DJ are only doing the selling part, the women have their choice of Edward, Harper, or Alessandro. And,” she added dryly, “apparently they volunteered for it. It seems their appetite for food isn’t the only thing that has been reawakened on this trip. Which is kind of weird when you think about it…or not,” she added mysteriously.

  “What have you heard?” Elvi demanded at once.

  “Well, there is some gossip running around,” she admitted.

  “About?”

  “Well…did you notice that Edward kept volunteering to go to the grocery store for you to get more flour, then more butter, then apples and so on while you guys were making the pies?”

  “Yes,” Elvi nodded. The man had taken forever on those trips, but she’d just put it down to his slow driving.

  “Well, it seems every single time he went to Dawn’s till, and spent a good deal of time chatting her up and laughing with her,” Mabel announced.

  “Laughing? Edward?” she asked with disbelief.

  “I knowwwww,” Mabel said with a nod. “Maybe she’s his lifemate.”

  “Dawn? No way,” Elvi said, but wondered.

  “And then there’s Alessandro.”

  “What about Alessandro?” Elvi asked, eyes widening.

  “Well, Louise Ascot says he’s been over sitting on Mrs. Ricci’s front porch every morning this week while she’s out doing her embroidering by sunlight.”

  “In the morning? While the rest of us are sleeping?” Elvi considered that and supposed it explained why the man was always the last one up.

  “Apparently he sits there until almost noon,” Mabel went on. “Just talking to her and helping her thread her needle and so on. And Louise says this morning they went inside and he didn’t come out for hours…and he was grinning like an idiot when he did.”

  “Mrs. Ricci?” Elvi gasped. “She’s eighty-four!”

  Mabel snorted. “Well, I’m sixty-two and that didn’t stop DJ.”

  “Yes, but…DJ is sweet and intelligent, and Alessandro is so immature and…” She paused to ask, “I don’t suppose you’ve heard anything about Harper?”

  She nodded. “Karen says that at the play she and Mike took them to, Harper chose their seats and he settled down right beside our mailwoman, Jenny, and he spent the whole play talking to her.”

  “Well…I guess I can stop worrying about how to let them down easy,” she said with a grin, and then muttered, “I suppose now I just have to worry about dealing with Victor.”

  “Yes.” Mabel bit her lip, and then said, “Elvi, don’t be too hard on him. I don’t think he thinks you’re an idiot or any of that stuff. And as for the ‘pet’ deal…” She sighed unhappily. “Honey, he’s seen and understood more in a week than this whole town has in five years, including me, your supposed best friend who lives with you.” She shook her head. “I’m sorry I didn’t realize how you were feeling. It never occurred to me that you might feel guilted into doing these things.”

 
“Mabel, it’s OK,” Elvi said quickly.

  “No, it’s not. I’m seeing things different now that I’m immortal too. For instance, these costumes are damned uncomfortable and just plain ridiculous. How the hell have you stood it these last five—Oh my God, DJ shaved and cut his hair!”

  Elvi glanced over her shoulder to see Victor and DJ approaching, both of them must have visited Irene’s booth. The hairdresser was cutting hair at the fair, the donations all going to the Abused Kids’ Shelter as was the money from Elvi’s pies.

  “I like the shave,” Mabel announced, then added, “but I liked his hair longer.”

  “So did I,” Elvi murmured, her gaze on Victor’s short, conservative cut. He was still gorgeous, but there was just something about a man with longer hair. She stared at him silently until Mabel touched her arm, drawing her attention.

  “Listen, Elv—Ellie,” Mabel corrected herself, reverting to her old nickname with an apologetic smile. “Look, just listen to Victor, okay? From everything I’ve seen and everything DJ has said, I think Victor really does love you.”

  “He thinks I’m an idiot,” Elvi muttered.

  “Don’t be ridiculous. Anyone with half a brain could tell you’re no idiot,” she argued. “Just let him talk, okay?”

  “I thought you were mad at him too for what he said,” she asked with a frown.

  “Well, I was, but I’ve been thinking he was right. We didn’t mean to, but we were treating you like a pet or something. None of us considered that you might want to do something besides perform for everyone all the time, and—” She broke off and shook her head. “There isn’t time, just let him talk. I’ll take over the booth; you two just take your time.”

  Elvi watched her hurry off to the back of the booth, and then turned to see DJ break off to join the blonde. Victor continued on until he stood directly in front of her. “I don’t think you’re an idiot,” he blurted. “I have the greatest respect for your intelligence. I think you’re charming, and beautiful and sexy, and sharp-witted and sexy and sweet and kind and sexy and—Ah hell.” Giving up his verbal attempt to explain himself, Victor grabbed her by the shoulders and dragged her against his chest to kiss her thoroughly.

  Elvi was gasping for breath by the time he released her, but still heard him say softly, “I love you, Ellen Stone.”

  Letting her breath out on a little sigh, she leaned her head against his chest and whispered, “I’m not an idiot.”

  “I know,” he assured her, rubbing her back.

  “I don’t run heedlessly into danger.”

  “No…well…” Victor paused when Elvi lifted narrowed eyes. Grimacing, he said, “You have a frightening tendency to rush about doing things without thinking first.”

  “Like what?” she challenged sharply.

  “Like the cheesecake emergency,” he pointed out. “The minute you knew you could eat food you were off like a shot, desperate to get to the A&P, and woe and betide anyone who got in your way.”

  “I wanted food,” Elvi said in her own defense. “It had been five years, Victor.”

  “Yes, I know,” he said soothingly and pressed her head back to his chest, but added, “And then there was the bed business. The minute you realized you could sleep in one, you were up and running for the door.”

  Elvi jerked back again to exclaim, “I was sleeping in a coffin!”

  “Yes,” Victor nodded, rubbing her back, and pressing her head against his shoulder once more before continuing, “but you don’t stop to plan things, you just rush ahead…And it scared the hell out of me when I realized you were in that burning shed. That’s why I yelled at you…And you’re far too trusting.”

  “Too trusting? I don’t think—”

  “Just recall how you were trying all those drinks Edward and Alessandro were pushing on you at the Night Club. Things like that make me worried sick that you’re going to trust the wrong person and get hurt, Elvi…er…Ellie…Ellen. What do you want to be called?” he asked with frustration.

  Elvi remained where he’d pressed her, her upset slipping away to be replaced by soft chuckles.

  “Are you laughing or crying?” Victor asked warily.

  “Laughing,” she assured him softly.

  “Right,” he murmured, pressing a kiss to the top of her head. Then he asked, “Is laughing a good thing or bad?”

  Smiling, Elvi pulled back and leaned up on her tiptoes to kiss him and then whispered, “It’s good.”

  “Oh.” Victor smiled.

  “Why did you cut your hair?”

  His expression turned wary when she blurted the question. “Don’t you like it?”

  “Well…”

  “You don’t like it,” he said with disappointment. “DJ was upset about the men hanging all over Mabel over here now that she’s turned and decided he was getting a shave and haircut to please her and I thought you might like—”

  Elvi covered his mouth with her hand to silence him, and said, “I don’t dislike it. It’s just different and I fell in love with you with long hair. I’ll adjust.”

  “You love me?” Victor echoed with a grin.

  “Victor! Down!”

  Elvi started to glance around to see what DJ was shouting about, but all she saw was him flying toward them from the back of the booth. He crashed into them even as Victor instinctively started dragging her to the ground. The three of them landed in a tangle of arms and legs.

  “Jesus, DJ,” Victor muttered, struggling to sit up. “What the hell—”

  Curious about his sudden silence, Elvi followed his gaze to see an arrow sticking out of the counter right where she’d been standing before DJ’s shout.

  “It was Mike Knight,” DJ gasped breathlessly, sitting up beside him.

  Victor turned on the younger immortal sharply. “Mike Knight? Are you sure?”

  DJ nodded.

  “It couldn’t have been,” Elvi said positively. “He and Karen have been my neighbors for sixteen years. I watched their kids grow up. He would never hurt me.”

  She started to rise even as she said the words, but barely got her chin above counter level before Victor grabbed her arm and dragged her back down. She’d seen enough, however. Eyes wide with shock, she breathed, “It is Mike.”

  Elvi could hardly believe what she’d seen. Mike Knight, her friend and neighbor, had been standing a good twenty feet from the booth, legs spread in a shooter’s stance and a crossbow in hand that he’d been reloading.

  “Mike?” Victor shook his head with confusion. “That makes no sense. I read him after the fire in the shed. He didn’t set it.”

  Elvi didn’t comment, her mind was still grappling with the fact that her neighbor, Mike, whom she’d known and been friends with for years, was trying to kill her. Thinking of friends reminded her of Mabel, and Elvi glanced toward the back of the booth to see that the blonde and three donors had flattened themselves on the ground, though Mabel was now crawling over to join them.

  “Hi,” she said as she reached them. “What are we doing?”

  “Hiding,” Elvi answered.

  “Devising a plan,” DJ corrected with a scowl, then raised an eyebrow at Victor. “Any ideas?”

  Victor shrugged. “We could jump over the counter from opposite ends and rush him from different sides. He can only hit one of us.”

  “What?” Elvi asked with dismay. “That’s not a plan, that’s madness! You—”

  “Er…Elvi?” Mike’s voice called tentatively from the other side of the counter. “Do you think you could stand up? This will only take a minute.”

  Elvi turned wide eyes to Mabel. “Is he serious?”

  “He’s lost his mind,” Mabel announced with a sad shake of the head.

  Victor ignored them and suddenly stood up.

  Elvi grabbed at his hand with alarm, trying to pull him down as she hissed, “Victor! Get back down here.”

  He just shook her hand away, and turned, apparently, to face Mike. “What’s this all about, Knight
? Why are you trying to kill Elvi?”

  “Er…well, it’s kind of between Elvi and us if you don’t mind, Victor,” Mike said politely.

  “I’m afraid anything involving Elvi involves me now, Mike,” Victor answered equally politely.

  Scowling, Elvi stood up beside him. If he was brave enough to do it, she could too…or so she thought. The moment he noticed she was getting to her feet, Victor stepped in front of her, a protective wall. When Elvi tried to step to the side, it was only to find DJ on his feet beside her, blocking the way.

  “Don’t even think about it,” Mabel muttered, standing on her other side so that she was protected from every angle but the back of the booth.

  Making a face, Elvi gave up trying to step out in the open and simply craned her neck to see around Victor’s arm. Mike and Karen stood on the other side. Mike held the crossbow cocked at waist level and Karen stood at his side, expression grim.

  “Was it Karen who set the shed on fire?” Victor asked when the silence drew out.

  Mike grimaced and tossed his wife a heavy look, but admitted, “Yes. She did it behind my back. She knew I wouldn’t approve. The fire could have easily spread to the neighbor’s house, or ours. I didn’t realize she’d done it until she told me after you guys went off in search of the Kissing Booth tonight.”

  “And the arrow at the furniture store?” Victor asked. “You or her?”

  “Me,” he admitted. “That was an accident, though. I was heading out to get some practice when Bob, the owner of the archery club, yelled at me that Karen was on the phone. I swung back and somehow released the arrow as I turned.” He shrugged. “Sorry about that. I didn’t even realize there was anyone over there until I saw you and Elvi appear at the edge of the trees, and by then I was inside on the phone. I saw you through the window. You were gone by the time I got off and went over to make sure no one was hurt. But that’s where Karen got the idea of how to kill you. She figured an arrow was as good as a stake.”

  “So you shot Elvi in the sunroom.”

  Mike nodded. “Or tried to. I was sure I got her too, but obviously I missed the heart. I won’t miss at this distance, though, Elvi,” he assured her, meeting her gaze with a solemn expression. “It will be quick, I promise.”